"They've said some crazy things about me over the years. I mean, okay: 'He bit the head off a bat.' Yes. 'He bit the head off a dove.' Yes. But then you hear things like, 'Ozzy went to the show last night, but he wouldn't perform until he'd killed fifteen puppies . . .' Now me, kill fifteen puppies? I love puppies. I've got eighteen of the f**king things at home. I've killed a few cows in my time, mind you. And the chickens. I shot the chickens in my house that night. It haunts me, all this crazy stuff. Every day of my life has been an event. I took lethal combinations of booze and drugs for thirty f**king years. I survived a direct hit by a plane, suicidal overdoses, STDs. I've been accused of attempted murder. Then I almost died while riding over a bump on a quad bike at f**king two miles per hour. People ask me how come I'm still alive, and I don't know what to say. When I was growing up, if you'd have put me up against a wall with the other kids from my street and asked me which one of us was gonna make it to the age of sixty, which one of us would end up with five kids and four grandkids and houses in Buckinghamshire and Beverly Hills, I wouldn't have put money on me, no f**king way. But here I am: ready to tell my story, in my own words, for the first time. A lot of it ain't gonna be pretty. I've done some bad things in my time. I've always been drawn to the dark side, me. But I ain't the devil. I'm just John Osbourne: a working-class kid from Aston, who quit his job in the factory and went looking for a good time."
©2010 Ozzy Osbourne (P)2010 Hachette
Frank Skinner is undoubtedly one of the funniest and most successful comedians appearing on British screens. Born Chris Collins in 1957, he grew up in the West Midlands where he inherited his father's passion for football, a West Bromich Albion supporter, along with a liking for alcohol. Expelled from school at 16, Frank held various jobs, later going on to gain an MA in English Literature. Nurturing a serious drinking problem from the age of 14, Frank eventually turned to Catholicism in 1987 and hasn't had a drink since. He performed his first stand-up gig in December 1987. His first television appearance in 1988 met with fits of laughter from the audience and 131 complaints, including one from cabinet minister Edwina Currie. He met fellow comedian David Baddiel in 1990, and the two went on to share a flat throughout the early 90's and to create the hit TV series Fantasy Football League. Winner of the prestigious Perrier Award at the Edinburgh Festival, Skinner's is a unique mixture of laddish and philosophical humour which has won him the prime time ITV show The Frank Skinner Show. Here, for the first time, Frank candidly tells us of the highs and lows of his fascinating life and career.
©2001 Frank Skinner (P)2005 Random House Audiobooks
Wondering if science could explain how he survived his 40-year avalanche of drugs and alcohol, Ozzy Osbourne became one of a handful of people in the world to have his entire DNA mapped in 2010. It was a highly complex, $65,000 process, but the results were conclusive: Ozzy is a genetic anomaly. The "Full Ozzy Genome" contained variants that scientists had never before encountered and the findings were presented at the prestigious TEDMED Conference in San Diego - making headlines around the world. The procedure was in part sponsored by The Sunday Times of London, which had already caused an international furor by appointing Ozzy Osbourne its star health-advice columnist. The newspaper argued that Ozzy's multiple near-death experiences, 40-year history of drug abuse, and extreme hypochondria qualified him more than any other for the job. The column was an overnight hit, being quickly picked up by Rolling Stone to give it a global audience of millions. In Trust Me, I'm Dr. Ozzy, Ozzy answers reader's questions with his outrageous wit and surprising wisdom, digging deep into his past to tell the memoir-style survival stories never published before - and to offer guidance that no sane human being should follow. Part humor, part memoir, and part bad advice, Trust Me, I'm Dr. Ozzy includes some of the best material from his published columns and answers to celebrities' medical questions.
©2011 Ozzy Osburne (P)2011 Hachette Audio
Over the course of the last 10 years, Frank Skinner has toured sell-out stand-up shows, hosted countless TV shows and an award-winning radio programme, written two well-received volumes of memoir, as well as recording a couple of pop songs and learning to play the ukulele. He has been a busy man. Yet, for the last two years, he has also managed to squeeze in a weekly column for The Times. Without fail, he sat down every week and wracked his brain to think of something to write 900 words about. Dispatches from the Sofa is the brilliant result. Alighting on such random topics as the potential demise of Margaret Thatcher, the love-hate relationship with your football club, Mike Reads musical of Oscar Wilde, fat pop stars, Serbian breakfast banter, the pleasures of air-guitar, the banking crisis and the evil phenomenon of Jedward, this is a thought-provoking, wide-reaching, hilarious and self-deprecating collection - which also includes the first two chapters from his unpublished novel - from one of our funniest, quickest and most beloved comedians.
©2011 Frank Skinner (P)2011 Random House Audiobooks
Frank Skinner performs previously unrecorded, uncensored, stand-up comedy material that could never be shown on TV. This performance was filmed at London's Apollo Theatre on September 4th 1994.
© and (P) Avalon Television
Frank Skinner made his television debut in 1988. After five minutes of stand-up, which had the studio audience in fits, the station received 131 calls from outraged viewers, including a cabinet minister and the head of a major airline. Frank never looked back. Here he is, live and uncensored, performing the act that won him the 1991 Perrier Award for Comedy.
© and (P) Avalon Television