Nick Offerman has 7 audiobooks on Listento.it, narrated by 5 narrators, with an average listener rating of 4.6★ across 742 ratings. The most-rated is The Greatest Love Story Ever Told.
The Greatest Love Story Ever Told
Summary
At last, the full story behind Megan Mullally and Nick Offerman's epic romance, including stories, portraits, and the occasional puzzle, all telling the smoldering tale that has fascinated Hollywood for over a decade. The year: 2000. The setting: Los Angeles. A gorgeous virtuoso of an actress had agreed to star in a random play, and a basement-dwelling scenic carpenter had said he would assay a supporting role in the selfsame pageant. At the first rehearsal, she surveyed her fellow cast members, as one does, determining if any of the men might qualify to provide her with a satisfying fling. Her gaze fell upon the carpenter, and like a bolt of lightning, the thought struck her: No dice. Moving on. Yet, unbeknownst to our protagonists, Cupid had merely set down his bow and picked up a rocket launcher. Then fired a love rocket (not a euphemism). The players were Megan Mullally and Nick Offerman, and the resulting romance, once it ignited, was... epic. Beyond epic. It resulted in a coupling that has endured to this day; a sizzling, perpetual tryst that has captivated the world with its kindness, athleticism, astonishingly low-brow humor, and true (fire emoji) passion. How did they do it? They came from completely different families, endured a significant age difference, and were separated by the gulf of several social strata. Megan loved books and art history; Nick loved hammers. But much more than these seemingly unsurpassable obstacles were the values they held in common: respect, decency, the ability to mention genitalia in almost any context, and an abiding obsession with the songs of Tom Waits. Eighteen years later, they're still very much in love, and have finally decided to reveal the philosophical mountains they have conquered, the lessons they've learned, and the myriad jigsaw puzzles they've completed, in an audiobook. Featuring anecdotes, hijinks, interviews, photos, and a veritable grab bag of tomfoolery, this is not only the intoxicating audiobook that Mullally's and Offerman's fans have been waiting for, it might just hold the solution to the greatest threat facing our modern world: the single life.
©2018 Nick Offerman and Megan Mullally (P)2018 Penguin Audio
Paddle Your Own Canoe
Summary
Parks and Recreation actor Nick Offerman shares his humorous fulminations on life, manliness, meat, and much more in his first book. Growing a perfect moustache, grilling red meat, wooing a woman - who better to deliver this tutelage than the always charming, always manly Nick Offerman, best known as Parks and Recreation's Ron Swanson? Combining his trademark comic voice and very real expertise in woodworking - he runs his own woodshop - Paddle Your Own Canoe features tales from Offerman's childhood in small-town Minooka, Illinois - "I grew up literally in the middle of a cornfield" - to his theater days in Chicago, beginnings as a carpenter/actor and the hilarious and magnificent seduction of his now-wife Megan Mullally. It also offers hard-bitten battle strategies in the arenas of manliness, love, style, religion, woodworking, and outdoor recreation, among many other savory entrees. A mix of amusing anecdotes, opinionated lessons and rants, sprinkled with offbeat gaiety, Paddle Your Own Canoe will not only tickle readers pink but may also rouse them to put down their smart phones, study a few sycamore leaves, and maybe even handcraft (and paddle) their own canoes.
©2013 Nick Offerman (P)2013 Penguin
The Raven King
Summary
The fourth and final installment in the spellbinding series from irrepressible, number-one New York Times best-selling author Maggie Stiefvater. All her life, Blue has been warned that she will cause her true love's death. She doesn't believe in true love and never thought this would be a problem, but as her life becomes caught up in the strange and sinister world of the Raven Boys, she's not so sure anymore. In a starred review for Blue Lily, Lily Blue, Kirkus Reviews declared: "Expect this truly one-of-a-kind series to come to a thundering close."
©2016 Maggie Stiefvater (P)2016 Scholastic Inc.
Gumption
Summary
The star of Parks and Recreation and author of the New York Times best seller Paddle Your Own Canoe returns with a second book that humorously highlights 21 figures from our nation's history, from her inception to present day - Nick's personal pantheon of "great Americans". To millions of people, Nick Offerman is America. Both Nick and his character, Ron Swanson, are known for their humor and patriotism in equal measure. After the great success of his autobiography Paddle Your Own Canoe, Offerman now focuses on the lives of those who inspired him. From George Washington to Willie Nelson, he describes 21 heroic figures and why they inspire in him such great meaning. He'll combine both serious history with light-hearted humor - comparing, say, George Washington's wooden teeth to his own experience as a woodworker. The subject matter will also allow Offerman to expound upon his favorite topics, which listeners love to hear - areas such as religion, politics, woodworking and handcrafting, agriculture, creativity, philosophy, fashion, and, of course, meat.
©2015 Nick Offerman (P)2015 Penguin Audio
Good Clean Fun
Summary
After two New York Times best sellers, Nick Offerman returns with the subject for which he’s known best - his incredible real-life woodshop - in a program that includes five original songs. Nestled among the glitz and glitter of Tinseltown is a testament to American elbow grease and an honest-to-god hard day’s work: Offerman Woodshop. Captained by hirsute woodworker, actor, comedian, and writer Nick Offerman, the shop produces not only fine handcrafted furniture, but also fun stuff - kazoos, baseball bats, ukuleles, moustache combs, even cedar strip canoes. Now Nick shares his experience of working at the woodshop with his ragtag crew of champions, tells you all about his passion for the discipline of woodworking, and teaches you how to make two of the woodshop’s most popular projects along the way: a Pop Top bottle opener and a three-legged stool. This audiobook will take you behind the scenes of the woodshop, both inspiring and teaching you to make your own projects while besotting you with the infectious spirit behind the shop and its complement of dusty wood-elves. While working on their projects, listeners can also enjoy exclusive original songs by Nick and his pal Jeff Tweedy - “Music to Sand By”, “American White Oak”, “Raising the Grain”, “The Lazy Carpenter”, and the title track, “Good Clean Fun”. Good Clean Fun also includes writings by Nick, humorous essays, odes to his own woodworking heroes, insights into the ethos of woodworking in modern America, and other assorted tomfoolery, all imbued with Nick Offerman’s brand of bucolic yet worldly wisdom. *Includes a Bonus PDF with Drawings, Visuals, and Original Song Lyrics. PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.
©2016 Nick Offerman (P)2016 Penguin Audio
All Rise
Summary
Spend a rollicking evening with Nick Offerman's All Rise, an evening of deliberative talking, mirth, and song that compels listeners to chuckle while also causing them to contemplate a better side of humanity than the one to which they've grown accustomed. In Nick Offerman's view, we as a country can be doing a better job when it comes to decency. While most of the country has spent the last few years fighting about everything from politics to the existence of science, there are some things we can all agree about, like that we only really need one flavor of Oreo cookies. And that despite all the challenges we're currently facing, America can get it together if we can, simply, rise above it all, and admit that a lot what we're fighting about is actually pretty stupid, especially when told in Nick's signature comedic voice - songs included. An Audiobook Original. Cover illustration by Matt Davies
©2020 Nick Offerman (P)2020 Penguin Audio
The Second We Met
Summary
Dear Jerk Across the Street, sorry for accidentally walking in on you and catching an eyeful of your - equipment. And hard pass on the open invitation to join you in the shower “anytime”, A-hole. That’s the note I should’ve written. Instead I sent a pleasant and apologetic version. Had I known Phoenix “Nix” Russo would’ve been the neighbor from hell, I’d have told him right where he could shove my words. Nix is the big man on campus with everyone lined up at his games to make sure he knows it. Sure, he’s got piercing blue eyes, abs that don’t quit, and a smile that could set fire to a set of panties from a hundred yards away, but he’s also the biggest pain in my ass. Dear Pink-Haired Menace, learn how to take a joke and stop being such a kill-joy... Elle Masterson called the cops on one of my parties - again. My sweet talking usually gets me out of trouble, but this time it got me into a nice pair of silver handcuffs. Now I’m on a reputation rehab tour with a stop at a spring break community service project. Guess who’s my new boss? Now we’re shoulder to shoulder, sweaty, tired, and...she’s not anything like I expected. There might just be a heart under that hard-ass exterior. She’s invading my dreams and I can’t shake the feeling she’s the key to unlocking a piece of me that I’ve hidden away. It’s only a matter of time until she finds out why I’m really here. Maybe I can break through her walls and into her heart before that happens...one screw at a time. The Second We Met is a stand-alone new adult romance.
©2019 Maya Hughes (P)2020 Maya Hughes