Iain Grant has 12 audiobooks on Listento.it, narrated by 2 narrators, with an average listener rating of 2★ across 1 ratings. The most-rated is Clovenhoof.
Clovenhoof
Summary
Charged with gross incompetence, Satan is fired from his job as prince of Hell and exiled to that most terrible of places: English suburbia. Forced to live as a human under the name of Jeremy Clovenhoof, the dark lord not only has to contend with the fact that no one recognizes him or gives him the credit he deserves but also has to put up with the bookish war-gamer next door and the voracious man-eater upstairs. Heaven, Hell, and the city of Birmingham collide in a story that features murder, heavy metal, cannibalism, armed robbers, devious old ladies, Satanists who live with their mums, gentlemen of limited stature, dead vicars, petty archangels, flamethrowers, sex dolls, a blood-soaked school assembly, and way too much alcohol.
©2012 Heide Goody and Iain Grant (P)2019 Heide Goody and Iain Grant
Hooflandia
Summary
When Jeremy Clovenhoof decides to set himself up as president for life of his own breakaway country, he knows he’ll need money, lots and lots of money. That might be a bit difficult, particularly since the Inland Revenue has just presented him with an enormous tax bill and Heaven and Hell have sent Joan of Arc and Rutspud of the Sixth Circle to bring him under control. But nothing can keep this devil down. He’s got the business acumen and the spunk to make a fortune and found the independent nation state of Hooflandia. Come see the really big wall! Enjoy the nudist beach! Visit the combined log flume and waterboarding torture center! The seventh book in the Clovenhoof series, Hooflandia is a ridiculous romp, featuring ventriloquist dummies, cut-price funerals, sexy archbishops, robot cars, musical butt plugs, tax avoidance, and a million angry nuns.
©2018 Heide Goody and Iain Grant (P)2020 Heide Goody and Iain Grant
Holymoly
Summary
Stephen and his friends spent their teenage years immersed in the fantasy gaming worlds of wizards and warriors, undertaking quests to fight evil occultists, vanquish terrible monsters, and rescue damsels in distress. Now, 20-something years later, there is a real-life quest. Life as a monk has hardly prepared Brother Stephen for the mission ahead. Demon Rutspud is definitely not a damsel, but he is in distress. The evil occultists are real and if Stephen doesn’t rescue Rutspud from a fate worse than death, no one will... Sword-wielding Satanists, stir crazy demons, super-smart squirrels, magical garbage, and a suitcase that cannot be stopped run riot in a story about the bonds of friendship and dark deeds in suburban cellars.
©2018 Heide Goody and Iain Grant (P)2020 Heide Goody and Iain Grant
Out of Hours
Summary
Everyone is out of time.... Morag Murray is about to give birth to the Venislarn anti-Christ, and her baby is eager to be born. With only the possessed doll Steve the Destroyer to help her through her labors, she knows that when this child is born, the earth will face its final day. Nina Seth is literally out of her own time. An evil sorceress is causing havoc in 18th-century England. With only Steve the Destroyer to help her prevent the premature end of the world, this clueless time-traveler has to save the past and find a way back to the present. Vivian Grey is in hell - literally - and caught in a political conflict between warring Venislarn gods. With many human lives at stake, Vivian and Steve the Destroyer must join forces if they’re both to survive. Rod Campbell knows that the world will end at midnight if he doesn’t rescue Morag from the secret organization that wants to use her as a pawn in its war against the Venislarn. The clock is ticking down to Judgement Day, and he hasn’t got a clue where she is. One day and one night to save the world (again), and no one’s getting paid overtime.
©2020 Heide Goody and Iain Grant (P)2020 Heide Goody and Iain Grant
Beelzebelle
Summary
To the devil a daughter! Parenthood can come as a shock to some. It’s especially shocking if you are Satan, the Prince of Hell, and are trying to live a quiet life of semi-retirement in suburban England under the name of Jeremy Clovenhoof. Clovenhoof quickly finds that being a single parent involves more than lullabies and nappies and has to contend with social disapproval, paternity tests and, possibly, the end of the world. The fifth novel in the Clovenhoof series, Beelzebelle is an anarchic adventure, featuring a psychotic monkey au pair, runaway coffins, badly stuffed animals, strip dominoes, fire-breathing ferrets, pimped-up prams, well-meaning middle-class mums, apocalyptic floods, the largest act of public nudity Birmingham has ever seen, and way too much homebrew Lambrini.
©2016 Heide Goody and Iain Grant (P)2020 Heide Goody and Iain Grant
Oddjobs 2
Summary
The Venislarn. Vastly intelligent aliens from another dimension or dribbling insane gods from a distant realm? It’s impossible to tell. What’s certain is that they’re here and they’re going to destroy our world. But, hey, there’s no mileage to be gained from telling the kiddywinks that monsters are real…. The consular mission to the Venislarn are the god appeasers and the end-of-life carers for an oblivious planet. It may be the end of the world as we know it, but there are procedures and policies in place, and everything should go according to plan. But, in the city, someone’s buying souls door to door, dealing in the kind of magical drugs that guarantee a really, really bad trip, and if something isn’t done about it, the end of the world might just happen a lot sooner than planned. Sequel to the hilarious Oddjobs, this is a workplace comedy like no other, featuring face-eating grannies, telepathic spiders, bloodthirsty school kids, murder on the dance floor, sex-crazed pond life, and actual stockbrokers from hell. The weekend can’t come soon enough (if it comes at all).
©2017 Heide Goody and Iain Grant (P)2019 Heide Goody and Iain Grant
You Only Live Once
Summary
The earth has been invaded by unfathomable terrors from another dimension and international governments are doing their best to pretend nothing is happening. But you can’t keep an alien invasion hidden forever. A Hollywood production company is filming in the city: A spy thriller blockbuster that will introduce the Venislarn monsters to the viewing public. It’s a dream come true for the marketing team. Rod Campbell - former SAS soldier and now the first line of defence against the Venislarn horde - is less than keen. He’s meant to be on the movie set as an advisor but he’s already got his hands full. Gods are demanding human sacrifices, renegade Venislarn are seeking asylum on earth and there’s a magical teapot that says the city is facing imminent destruction. It’s going to be a tough week and Rod might not live to see the end of it.
©2019 Heide Goody & Iain Grant (P)2020 Heide Goody & Iain Grant
Pigeonwings
Summary
As punishment for his part in an attempted coup in heaven, the archangel Michael is banished to Earth. The holiest of the angelic host has to learn to live as a mortal - not an easy job when you’ve got Satan as a next-door neighbor. Michael soon finds that being a good person involves more than helping out at Sunday school and attending church coffee mornings. He has to find his purpose in life, deal with earthly temptations, and solve a mystery involving some unusual monks and a jar of very dangerous jam. Heide Goody and Iain Grant have come up with this wild comedy that features spear-wielding cub scouts, accidental transvestites, King Arthur, a super-intelligent sheepdog, hallucinogenic snacks, evil peacocks, old ladies with biscuits, naked paintball, stolen tractors, clairvoyant computers, the Women’s Institute, and way too much alcohol.
©2013 Heide Goody and Iain Grant (P)2019 Heide Goody, Iain Grant
Hellzapoppin'
Summary
Life at St Cadfan’s is never dull. There’s the cellar full of unexplained corpses. There’s the struggle to find food when the island is placed under quarantine. And there’s that peculiar staircase in the cellar.... Being a demon in Hell has its own problems. There’s the increasingly impossible torture quotas to meet. There’s the entire horde of Hell waiting for you to slip up and make a mistake. And there’s that weird staircase in the service tunnels.... Brother Stephen of St Cadfan’s and Rutpsud of the Sixth Circle, natural enemies and the most unnatural of friends, join forces to solve a murder mystery, save a rare species from extinction and stop Hell itself exploding. The fourth novel in the Clovenhoof series, Hellzapoppin’ is an astonishing comedy featuring suicidal sea birds, deadly plagues, exploding barbecues, dancing rats, magical wardrobes, King Arthur’s American descendants, mole-hunting monks, demonic possession, and way too much seaweed beer.
©2014 Heide Goody, Iain Grant (P)2020 Heide Goody, Iain Grant
Godsquad
Summary
The team: Joan of Arc, the armor-plated teen saint of Orleans. Francis of Assisi, friend to all the animals whether they like it or not. St Christopher, the patron saint of travel who by papal decree has never existed - no matter how much he argues otherwise. The mission: An impossible prayer has been received by heaven, and it’s a prayer that only Mary, mother of God, can answer. Unfortunately, Mary hasn’t been seen in decades and is off wandering the Earth somewhere. This elite team of heavenly saints are sent down to Earth to find Mary before Armageddon is unleashed on an unsuspecting world.
©2014 Heide Goody, Iain Grant (P)2019 Heide Goody, Iain Grant
Oddjobs
Summary
It's the end of the world as we know it, but someone still needs to do the paperwork. Incomprehensible horrors from beyond are going to devour our world, but that’s no excuse to get all emotional about it. Morag Murray works for the secret government organization responsible for making sure the apocalypse goes as smoothly and as quietly as possible. In her first week on the job, Morag has to hunt down a man-eating starfish, solve a supernatural murder, and, if she's got time, prevent her own inevitable death. Oddjobs is a sideswipe at the world of work and a fantastical adventure featuring amphibian wannabe gangstas, mad old cat ladies, ancient gods, apocalyptic scrabble, fish porn, telepathic curry, and, possibly, the end of the world before the weekend.
©2016 Heide Goody and Iain Grant (P)2018 Heide Goody and Iain Grant
A Spell in the Country
Summary
Jenny doesn’t know what they’ll do when they find out she’s a wicked witch. She can’t help being a wicked witch. It’s in her blood. She’s supposed to eat children, blast people with witchfire, and plot dark deeds with her foul-mouthed imp familiar, Jizzimus. Instead, she’s rescued a girl, Kay, from a band of people traffickers. To keep her safe they have signed up for a college course in an English country mansion. Jizzimus is not impressed. The mansion is not the safe haven they thought it would be. They say they want to turn good witches into great witches, but witches are going missing, there are far more ghosts round here than there ought to be and there is something huge and terrible in the woods. If Jenny thought that messing up her witchcraft coursework and getting distracted by the handsome gardener was going to be the worst of her problems, she’s dead wrong. With new witch friends, sexy mind-controller Caroline and soft-hearted herbalist Dee, Jenny’s determined to get to the bottom of this mystery. It turns out that at Effie Fray’s training college you have to learn fast or die trying. You’ll love this fun-loving witch academy audiobook because sometimes it needs friends to show us how to be a better version of ourselves.
©2018 Heide Goody and Iain Grant (P)2020 Heide Goody and Iain Grant