A classic coming-of-age story and international best seller. Captivating and evocative, Herman Raucher's semi-autobiographical tale has been made into a record-breaking Academy Award-nominated hit movie, adapted for the stage, and enchanted for generations. In the summer of 1942, Hermie is 15. He is wildly obsessed with sex, and passionately in love with an "older woman" of 22, whose husband is overseas and at war. Ambling through Nantucket Island with his friends, Hermie's indelible narration chronicles his frantic efforts to become a man, especially one worthy of the lovely Dorothy, as well as his glorious and heartbreaking initiation into sex.
©1971 Herman Raucher (P)2017 Herman Raucher
A dynamic remastering of the original BBC Radio 4 full-cast serial - Fit the First to Fit the Sixth - which spawned a phenomenal hitchhiking legend.
The original series of The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, remastered by Dirk Maggs (director of the Tertiary, Quandary and Quintessential Phases) to give a full, vibrant sound, now with Philip Popes version of the familiar theme tune and specially re-recorded announcements by John Marsh.
Join Arthur Dent, Ford Prefect, Trillian, Zaphod Beeblebrox and Marvin the Paranoid Android in their first series of adventures as they witness the destruction of Earth to make way for a hyperspace bypass, stumble upon the ancient planet of Magrathea, dine at the Restaurant at the End of the Universe, and seek an answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, The Universe And Everything.
Peter Jones, Simon Jones, Geoffrey McGivern, Mark Wing-Davey, Susan Sheridan, Stephen Moore and a full supporting cast star in these BBC Radio 4 episodes.
A special 55-minute bonus programme, Douglas Adamss Guide to the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, explores the genesis of the radio series and its incredible success, with contributions from the original cast and production team.
©2008 BBC Audiobooks Ltd (P)2008 BBC Audiobooks Ltd
George Gershwin thinks he could do better, better than Broadway. Ira Gershwin disagrees, why get funny ideas about writing po-faced piano concertos that no one hears, when youre already getting much respect and much money (and much female attention) from writing hit shows? But what George wants George gets, and soon the brothers are travelling to Europe to meet French maestro Maurice Ravel - you know, a real composer. Despite dreading this American invasion on his artistic privacy, the haughty Ravel warms to George, the two men share musical ideas and beaucoup du vin. It all turns sour when George returns to New York, unintentionally carrying in his luggage Ravels most treasured possession: a pair of slippers that belonged to Ravels musical forefather, the French national hero - Claude Debussy. Now, Debussys slippers may reek, they may look slightly ridiculous, but their inspirational power is undeniable. Once George feels their effect, hes loath to return them, and sets about stalling an increasingly irate Ravel. Things come to a head when Ravel unexpectedly returns Gershwins visit.
©2020 Steve Exeter (P)2021 Steve Exeter
Mooncalfs is a novel about a generation screaming through a dog whistle. It chronicles a day in the life of a young man suffering from the paralysis of mental illness, unemployment, and the aftermath of broken promises after college. In search of an escape hatch from the prospects of an unfulfilling future, his frustrations take him to his feet. The road ahead holds the American Dream. Yet it also includes its container, which, for the purposes of satisfaction, if not sanity, may best be left closed. With the passage of the day, and his exchanges with a rather odd and diverse cast of characters throughout, he learns his complaints, fears, and concerns are not unique. Instead they are supplemental verses to an old song with an immutable refrain. Difference, it so happens, is born from sameness. And more than just millennials can hear dog whistles.
©2017 David O'Boyle (P)2017 David O'Boyle
Pulitzer Prize finalist Lydia Millet's sublime new novel - her first since the National Book Award long-listed Sweet Lamb of Heaven - follows a group of 12 eerily mature children on a forced vacation with their families at a sprawling lakeside mansion. Contemptuous of their parents, who pass their days in a stupor of liquor, drugs, and sex, the children feel neglected and suffocated at the same time. When a destructive storm descends on the summer estate, the group's ringleaders - including Eve, who narrates the story - decide to run away, leading the younger ones on a dangerous foray into the apocalyptic chaos outside. As the scenes of devastation begin to mimic events in the dog-eared picture Bible carried around by her beloved little brother, Eve devotes herself to keeping him safe from harm. A Children's Bible is a prophetic, heartbreaking story of generational divide - and a haunting vision of what awaits us on the far side of Revelation.
©2020 Dreamscape Media, LLC (P)2020 Dreamscape Media, LLC
All hail Jami Attenberg, the queen of dysfunctional families. (Refinery29) Big Little Lies meets Succession in the scorching heat of the Big Easy.... Money, power and family are touched upon through Attenbergs emotional, humorous and sharply written accounts. (Parade) This is how you write a very good novel about a very bad man. (New York Times) From critically acclaimed New York Times best-selling author Jami Attenberg comes a novel of family secrets: Think the drama of Big Little Lies set in the heat of a New Orleans summer If I know why they are the way they are, then maybe I can learn why I am the way I am, says Alex Tuchman of her parents. Now that her father is on his deathbed, Alex - a strong-headed lawyer, devoted mother, and loving sister - feels she can finally unearth the secrets of who Victor is and what he did over the course of his life and career. (A power-hungry real estate developer, he is, by all accounts, a bad man.) She travels to New Orleans to be with her family, but mostly to interrogate her tightlipped mother, Barbra. As Barbra fends off Alexs unrelenting questions, she reflects on her tumultuous life with Victor. Meanwhile Gary, Alexs brother, is incommunicado, trying to get his movie career off the ground in Los Angeles. And Garys wife, Twyla, is having a nervous breakdown, buying up all the lipstick in drug stores around New Orleans and bursting into crying fits. Dysfunction is at its peak. As each family member grapples with Victors history, they must figure out a way to move forward - with one another, for themselves, and for the sake of their children. All This Could Be Yours is a timely, piercing exploration of what it means to be caught in the web of a toxic man who abused his power; it shows how those webs can tangle a family for generations and what it takes to - maybe, hopefully - break free. With her signature sparkling prose (Marie Claire) and incisive wit, Jami Attenberg deftly explores one of the most important subjects of our age.
©2019 Jami Attenberg (P)2019 Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company
Is sex, drugs, and rock n roll a communist plot, or is society just licentious? Is a conspiracy of rotten eggs from Moscow out to sap the vital fluids of red-blooded Canadians? Darien has emerged as an organized crime wave, and former Chief Inspector Jacques Gaffeur and his nephew Wilhelm Gaffeur, professor of scatology, commit themselves to gather evidence on Darien and arrest him and his aide-de-camp Alois Schicklgruber with the help of the RCMP. Or, is the Canadian government right and will inject freedom-loving Canadians with a microchip in their brain in order to instruct their thoughts unless Canadas Socialist Party, the NDP, reprograms left-leaning Canadians to fight a guerrilla war against the Canadian government while uploading a subliminal message to vote for NDP? Will they succeed? Listen to Stack Bullion and the sequel The Explication of the HUCAC to find out.
©2020 Austin Macauley Publishers Ltd (P)2021 Austin Macauley Publishers Ltd
A Simon & Schuster audiobook. Simon & Schuster has a great book for every listener.
©2020 Fredrik Backman (P)2020 Simon & Schuster Audio
It's never too late to grow up.... This is the story of: Scott, who finds his belongings outside in a bin bag one day and realises he may have made a Big Mistake Gail, who wishes her husband were under guarantee so she could send him back and get a refund Nat, who discovers that growing up isn't all it's cracked up to be Rosie, who just wants her dad back - or if not, then at least some new glitter nail polish. Four lives, one story: love, loss and learning to be a grown-up.
©2021 Claire Calman (P)2021 Boldwood Books Ltd
A middle-aged Jewish man who fantasizes about being a cowboy goes on an eccentric quest across Europe after the 1941 Nazi invasion of Lithuania in this wild and witty yet heartrending novel from the best-selling author of Yiddish for Pirates, shortlisted for the Scotiabank Giller Prize. Motl is middle-aged, poor, nerdy, Jewish, and in desperate need of a shave. Since having his balls shot cleanly off as a youth in WWI, he's lived a quiet life at home in Vilnius with his shrewd and shrewish mom, Gitl, losing himself in the masculine fantasy world of cowboy novels by writers like Karl May - novels equally loved by Hitler, whose troops have just invaded Lithuania and are out to exterminate people like Motl. In his dreams, Motl is a fast-talking, rugged, expert gunslinger capable of dealing with the Nazi threat. But only in his dreams. As friends and neighbors are killed around them, Motl and Gitl escape from Vilnius, saving their own skins. But they immediately risk everything to try rescue relatives they hope are still alive. With death all around him, Motl decides that a Jew's best revenge is not only to live, but to procreate. In order to achieve this, though, he must relocate those most crucial pieces of his anatomy lost to him in a glacier in the Swiss Alps in the previous war. It's an absurd yet life-affirming mission, made even more urgent when he's separated from his mother and isn't sure whether she's alive or dead. Joining forces, and eventually hearts, with Esther, a Jewish woman whose family has been killed, Motl ventures across Europe, a kaleidoscope of narrow escapes and close encounters with everyone from Himmler, to circus performers, double agents, quislings, fake "Indians", and real ones. Motl at last figures out that he has more connection to the Indigenous characters in Western novels than the cowboys. An imaginative and deeply felt exploration of genocide, persecution, colonialism, and masculinity - saturated in Gary Barwin's sharp wit and perfect pun-play - Nothing the Same, Everything Haunted: The Ballad of Motl the Cowboy is a one-of-a-kind novel of sheer genius.
©2021 Gary Barwin (P)2021 Penguin Random House Canada
If I had to pick a bride of convenience, my first choice would not be Peach Maloney. My 50th choice would not be Peach. Top spot on my list of occupational hazards? Yes. Royal pain in the crumpets? Yes. A bride of convenience? No. But I've unexpectedly gone from royal bodyguard to monarch, having inherited a crown that was stolen from my family long before my birth. The kicker of this unexpected royal gift? In order to take the throne, I must find a wife. Have I mentioned Peach would not have been my hundredth choice? But I've no other options, and she needs a favor that my new position can fulfill quite nicely. So we've agreed to play the doting newlyweds out in public. In private, though, our rules are simple: No touching. No talking. And certainly no sex. I should have known better than to marry a rule-breaker. Contains mature themes.
©2018 Pippa Grant (P)2019 Tantor
Bluebeard, published in 1987, is Vonnegut's meditation on art, artists, surrealism, and disaster. Meet Rabo Karabekian, a moderately successful surrealist painter who we meet late in life and see struggling (like all of Vonnegut's key characters) with the dregs of unresolved pain and the consequences of brutality. Loosely based on the legend of Bluebeard (best realized in Bela Bartok's one-act opera), the novel follows Karabekian through the last events in his life, which are heavy with women, painting, artistic ambition, artistic fraudulence, and as of yet unknown consequence. Vonnegut's intention here is not so much satirical (although the contemporary art scene would be easy enough to deconstruct), nor is it documentary (although Karabekian does carry elements of Jackson Pollock and Mark Rothko). Instead Vonnegut is using art for the same purpose he used science fiction clichés in Slaughterhouse-Five: as a filter through which he can illuminate the savagery, cruelty, and essentially comic misdirection of human existence. Listeners will recognize familiar Vonnegut character types and archetypes as they drift in and out through the background; meanwhile Karabekian, betrayed and betrayer, sinks through a bottomless haze of recollection. Like most of Vonnegut's late works, this is both science fiction and cruel, contemporary realism at once, using science fiction as metaphor for human damage as well as failure to perceive. Listeners will find that Vonnegut's protagonists can never really clarify for us whether they are ultimately unwitting victims or simple barbarians, leaving it up to the listener to determine in which genre this audiobook really fits, if any at all.
©1987 Kurt Vonnegut (P)2015 Audible, Inc.
The butterfly effect of the crowing of a rooster in the wrong place at the wrong time unleashes chaotic winds of change in a village. In this stunning tale, Unni R. holds up a mirror to Kerala society, with all its foibles and deceptions, and its recently acquired appetite for top-down bigotry. Masterly storytelling laced with wit and humaneness. (N.S. Madhavan) In a small village in Kerala, people begin to feel threatened by an invisible rooster that crows at odd hours. It is heard interrupting the morning and night prayers at the temple, the mass at the church, the azaan at the mosque and the martyrs day ceremony. When it hoots in the middle of the national anthem being sung at the local school, it is instantly labelled as a threat to national security. It offends the sentiments of all those who are religious, political, patriarchal, exploitative, fanatical and homophobic. Naturally, there are many baying for its blood. The witch-hunt that ensues fuels suspicions that the invisible cock might even be a human; an anarchist who is trying to destabilize the nation with help from outside. Incisive and hilarious by turns, The Cock Is the Culprit does an astute job of exposing the dark underbelly of Kerala society.
©2019 Unni R.; Translation copyright 2020 J. Devika (P)2021 Audible, Inc.
Choose a class, win your girls, reclaim the world. Cade Clarke spends his last night on Earth drinking with an old army buddy. When he decides to risk his life to defend a gorgeous bartender, he pays the ultimate price. Resurrected to Antinium, Cade finds himself thrown into a world where the very rules of reality have shifted. He chooses a unique class, customizes his soul weapon, and levels up to unlock vital skills, traits and attributes points in order to survive. Cades chances for success are minimal, until he finds his destiny intertwined with a group of sexy women who will help him build a village and fight his foes beside him. They must grow strong enough to overthrow an evil tyrant. Or die trying.... The Chimera King series contains explicit adult content, unconventional harem relationships, graphic and persistent violence, and a hero whose humor belongs in a military barracks. Proceed at your own risk. Includes a special note from the author.
©2020 Atlas Kane (P)2020 Podium Audio
Large chests are said to encompass all manner of hopes and dreams. Men covet them. Women envy them. But one fact holds true - everyone wants to get their hands on some big ones. The same holds true for one intrepid adventurer - a strapping young lad by the name of Himmel. Armed with his grandfather's trusty longsword and the dream of being the strongest, he sets out on the journey of a lifetime! It is sure to be a long and dangerous road, fraught with danger! And it all starts with a simple test - reach Level Five in the dungeon called the "newbie zone" and earn the right to become a full-fledged adventurer! However, such things get hopelessly derailed when his adolescent mind beholds an exposed chest for the first time - a fateful meeting that would inevitably lead his life in a direction he never even dreamed of! Content warning: Gore, violence, explicit sexual scenes Everybody Loves Large Chests was first brought to Jeff Hays on Soundbooth Theater Live, his live streaming narration show. Since then, it has been the most consistently requested and enjoyed title by fans. So much so, that Neven Iliev finally decided to approach us to put out a full audio version of the first arc in Boxxy's adventures! The Soundbooth Theater team for this production: Jeff Hays - Narration, Characters, Production Supervision Dalton Lynne - ProofingAlex Tate - Production, Editing, Mastering
©2017 Neven Iliev (P)2017 Jeff Hays
What happens when one takes a murderous psychopath and forces them to team up with a cowardly tinkerer? Though not a question Jeremiah ever expected to ponder, he is nevertheless looking forward to seeing what the aforementioned duo will cook up. Success or failure does not matter to Richard, only that the journey be entertaining. Things are far less jovial for the one under Tom's "care", however. Stuck in the monster-infested wilderness, lacking the usual backup, hunted by the Empire's top brass, and tasked with an incredibly vague and obtuse Quest, Boxxy will face a world of uncertainty and adversity. However, this is nothing new. Pain, suffering, and loss are things that have been commonplace since day one, and Boxxy is not only entirely undaunted, but also eager to share those valuable lessons with its new "companion". With things both shiny and tasty on the line, the crafty killer has every intention of showing that lich who's boss. Assuming Boxxy manages to find it, of course. Content warning: profanity, gore, violence, explicit adult content. The Soundbooth Theater team for this production: Jeff Hays - narration, music, and sound design Dalton Lynne - editing and proofing Griffin Malnar - editing and mastering
©2018 Neven Iliev (P)2018 Jeff Hays
New York Times best seller National Book Award Longlist "A feminist jeremiad nested inside a brilliant comic novel - a book that makes you laugh so hard you dont notice till later that your eyebrows have been singed off." (Ron Charles, The Washington Post) Named one of the Ten Best Books of the Year by Entertainment Weekly and the New York Public Library and one of the Best Books of the Year by The New York Times Book Review Time The Washington Post Vanity Fair Vogue NPR Chicago Tribune GQ Vox Refinery29 Elle The Guardian Real Simple Parade Good Housekeeping Marie Claire Town & Country Evening Standard Kirkus Reviews BookPage BookRiot Shelf Awareness A finely observed, timely exploration of marriage, divorce, and the bewildering dynamics of ambition from one of the most exciting writers working today Toby Fleishman thought he knew what to expect when he and his wife of almost 15 years separated: weekends and every other holiday with the kids, some residual bitterness, the occasional moment of tension in their co-parenting negotiations. He could not have predicted that one day, in the middle of his summer of sexual emancipation, Rachel would just drop their two children off at his place and simply not return. He had been working so hard to find equilibrium in his single life. The winds of his optimism, long dormant, had finally begun to pick up. Now this. As Toby tries to figure out where Rachel went, all while juggling his patients at the hospital, his never-ending parental duties, and his new app-assisted sexual popularity, his tidy narrative of the spurned husband with the too-ambitious wife is his sole consolation. But if Toby ever wants to truly understand what happened to Rachel and what happened to his marriage, he is going to have to consider that he might not have seen things all that clearly in the first place. A searing, utterly unvarnished debut, Fleishman Is in Trouble is an insightful, unsettling, often hilarious exploration of a culture trying to navigate the fault lines of an institution that has proven to be worthy of our great wariness and our great hope. Almas Best Jewish Novel of the Year "Blisteringly funny, feverishly smart, heartbreaking, and true, Fleishman Is in Trouble is an essential read for anyone whos wondered how to navigate loving (and hating) the people we choose." (Cynthia DAprix Sweeney, author of The Nest) "From its opening pages, Fleishman Is in Trouble is shrewdly observed, brimming with wisdom, and utterly of this moment. Not until its explosive final pages are you fully aware of its cunning ferocity. Taffy Brodesser-Akners debut is that rare and delicious treat: a page-turner with heft." (Maria Semple)
©2019 Taffy Brodesser-Akner (P)2019 Random House Audio
ABOUT THIS AUDIBLE ORIGINAL Please note: This content is not for kids. It is for mature audiences only. This audio comedy features sexual content, adult language and themes, and violence against peasants and hobgoblins alike. Discretion is advised. Heads Will Roll is an Audible Original from Saturday Night Live star Kate McKinnon and her cocreator/costar (and real-life sister) Emily Lynne. Produced by Broadway Video, this is not an audiobook - its a 10-episode, star-studded audio comedy that features performances from Meryl Streep, Tim Gunn, Peter Dinklage, Queer Eyes Fab Five, and so many more. Queen Mortuana of the Night Realm (McKinnon) and her ditsy raven minion JoJo (Lynne) receive a prophecy about a peasant uprising. Together, they must journey to find the Shard of Acquiescence, which will put down the rebellion and save the throne. Will their friendship survive sensitive generals, chatty sex slaves, whiny behemoths, princes with bird fetishes, and the notion of democracy? This raunchy satire also includes the wicked talents of Andrea Martin, Carol Kane, Audra McDonald, Aidy Bryant, Alex Moffat, Heidi Gardner, Chris Redd, Steve Higgins, Bob the Drag Queen, Esther Perel, and more. So, hold on to your head, and let the bad times roll.
©2019 The Broadway Video Group, Inc. (P)2019 The Broadway Video Group, Inc.
The number-one New York Times best-selling author of A Man Called Ove and Beartown returns with a lyrical look at how a community heals, how families recover and how individuals grow (The Washington Post). A small community tucked deep in the forest, Beartown is home to tough, hardworking people who dont expect life to be easy or fair. No matter how difficult times get, theyve always been able to take pride in their local ice hockey team. So its a cruel blow when they hear that Beartown ice hockey might soon be disbanded. What makes it worse is the obvious satisfaction that all the former Beartown players, who now play for a rival team in the neighboring town of Hed, take in that fact. As the tension mounts between the two adversaries, a newcomer arrives who gives Beartown hockey a surprising new coach and a chance at a comeback. Soon a team starts to take shape around Amat, the fastest player youll ever see; Benji, the intense lone wolf; always dutiful and eager-to-please Bobo; and Vidar, a born-to-be-bad troublemaker. But bringing this team together proves to be a challenge as old bonds are broken, new ones are formed, and the towns enmity with Hed grows more and more acute. As the big game approaches, the not-so-innocent pranks and incidents between the communities pile up and their mutual contempt intensifies. By the time the last goal is scored, a resident of Beartown will be dead, and the people of both towns will be forced to wonder if, after everything, the game they love can ever return to something as simple and innocent as a field of ice, two nets, and two teams. Us against you. Here is a declaration of love for all the big and small, bright and dark stories that give form and color to our communities. With immense compassion and insight, Fredrik Backman reveals how loyalty, friendship, and kindness can carry a town through its most challenging days.
©2018 Fredrik Backman (P)2018 Simon & Schuster
2018 Audie Award Finalist for Fiction The number-one New York Times best-selling author of A Man Called Ove returns with a dazzling, profound novel about a small town with a big dream - and the price required to make it come true. People say Beartown is finished. A tiny community nestled deep in the forest, it is slowly losing ground to the ever encroaching trees. But down by the lake stands an old ice rink, built generations ago by the working men who founded this town. And in that ice rink is the reason people in Beartown believe tomorrow will be better than today. Their junior ice hockey team is about to compete in the national semifinals, and they actually have a shot at winning. All the hopes and dreams of this place now rest on the shoulders of a handful of teenage boys. Being responsible for the hopes of an entire town is a heavy burden, and the semifinal match is the catalyst for a violent act that will leave a young girl traumatized and a town in turmoil. Accusations are made, and, like ripples on a pond, they travel through all of Beartown, leaving no resident unaffected. Beartown explores the hopes that bring a small community together, the secrets that tear it apart, and the courage it takes for an individual to go against the grain. In this story of a small forest town, Fredrik Backman has found the entire world.
©2017 Fredrik Backman (P)2017 S&S Audio
For two sworn enemies, anything can happen during the Hawaiian trip of a lifetime - even love - in this witty and swoon-worthy romance from the New York Times best-selling duo who hilariously depict modern dating (Us Weekly) and authors of Josh and Hazels Guide to Not Dating and Roomies. Olive is always unlucky: in her career, in love, in...well, everything. Her identical twin sister, Amy, on the other hand, is probably the luckiest person in the world. Her meet-cute with her fiancé is something out of a romantic comedy (gag), and shes managed to finance her entire wedding by winning a series of internet contests (double gag). Worst of all, shes forcing Olive to spend the day with her sworn enemy, Ethan, who just happens to be the best man. Olive braces herself to get through 24 hours of wedding hell before she can return to her comfortable, unlucky life. But when the entire wedding party gets food poisoning from eating bad shellfish, the only people who arent affected are Olive and Ethan. And now, theres an all-expenses-paid honeymoon in Hawaii up for grabs. Putting their mutual hatred aside for the sake of a free vacation, Olive and Ethan head for paradise, determined to avoid each other at all costs. But when Olive runs into her future boss, the little white lie she tells him is suddenly at risk to become a whole lot bigger. She and Ethan now have to pretend to be loving newlyweds, and her luck seems worse than ever. But the weird thing is that she doesnt mind playing pretend. In fact, she feels kind of...lucky. With Christina Laurens uniquely hilarious and touching voice (Entertainment Weekly), The Unhoneymooners is a fun and charming romance that is perfect for anyone who has ever felt unlucky in love.
©2019 Christina Lauren (P)2019 Simon & Schuster
Times are tough for young Jack McGreary in the American dust bowl. Living with his father, Jack is only getting by thanks to a solid repertoire of cons and scams. Everything gets shaken up, though, when shysters Virgil Ray and Miss Rose roll into town. Recognizing them as first-class scam artists, Jack gleefully joins their criminal band. Soon a budding romance between Jack and Miss Rose begins to bloom, but is it on the up-and-up? Will Ferguson's Spanish Fly
©2007 Will Ferguson (P)2009 Recorded Books, LLC
"Jon Swift + Witches of Eastwick + Kelly 'Get in Trouble' Link + Mean Girls + Creative Writing Degree Hell! No punches pulled, no hilarities dodged, no meme unmangled! O Bunny you are sooo genius!" (Margaret Atwood, via Twitter) "A wild, audacious and ultimately unforgettable novel." (Michael Schaub, Los Angeles Times) "Awad is a stone-cold genius." (Ann Bauer, The Washington Post) The Vegetarian meets Heathers in this darkly funny, seductively strange novel from the acclaimed author of 13 Ways of Looking at a Fat Girl. "We were just these innocent girls in the night trying to make something beautiful. We nearly died. We very nearly did, didn't we?" Samantha Heather Mackey couldn't be more of an outsider in her small, highly selective MFA program at New England's Warren University. A scholarship student who prefers the company of her dark imagination to that of most people, she is utterly repelled by the rest of her fiction writing cohort - a clique of unbearably twee rich girls who call each other "Bunny", and seem to move and speak as one. But everything changes when Samantha receives an invitation to the Bunnies' fabled "Smut Salon", and finds herself inexplicably drawn to their front door - ditching her only friend, Ava, in the process. As Samantha plunges deeper and deeper into the Bunnies' sinister yet saccharine world, beginning to take part in the ritualistic off-campus "Workshop" where they conjure their monstrous creations, the edges of reality begin to blur. Soon, her friendships with Ava and the Bunnies will be brought into deadly collision. The spellbinding new novel from one of our most fearless chroniclers of the female experience, Bunny is a down-the-rabbit-hole tale of loneliness and belonging, friendship and desire, and the fantastic and terrible power of the imagination. Named a Best Book of 2019 by TIME, Vogue, Electric Literature, and The New York Public Library
©2019 Mona Awad (P)2019 Listening Library
A retelling of Arthurian myth for the age of Brexit and Trump, from World Fantasy Award-winner Lavie Tidhar, By Force Alone. Everyone thinks they know the story of King Arthur and his knights of the Round Table. The fact is they don't know sh*t. Arthur? An over-promoted gangster. Merlin? An eldritch parasite. Excalibur? A shady deal with a watery arms dealer. Britain? A clogged sewer that Rome abandoned just as soon as it could. A savage and cutting epic fantasy, equally poetic and profane, By Force Alone is at once a timely political satire, a magical adventure, and a subversive masterwork. A Macmillan Audio production from Tor Books
©2020 Lavie Tidhar (P)2020 Macmillan Audio
Imagine a novel as verbally cunning as A Clockwork Orange, as harrowing as The Painted Bird, as exuberant and twee as Candide, and you have Everything Is Illuminated.... Read it, and you'll feel altered, chastened - seared in the fire of something new. (Washington Post) With only a yellowing photograph in hand, a young man - also named Jonathan Safran Foer - sets out to find the woman who might or might not have saved his grandfather from the Nazis. Accompanied by an old man haunted by memories of the war, an amorous dog named Sammy Davis, Junior, Junior, and the unforgettable Alex, a young Ukrainian translator who speaks in a sublimely butchered English, Jonathan is led on a quixotic journey over a devastated landscape and into an unexpected past. As their adventure unfolds, Jonathan imagines the history of his grandfathers village, conjuring a magical fable of startling symmetries that unite generations across time. As his search moves back in time, the fantastical history moves forward, until reality collides with fiction in a heart-stopping scene of extraordinary power. A rambunctious tour de force of inventive and intelligent storytelling...Foer can place his readers hand on the heart of human experience, the transcendent beauty of human connections. Read, you can feel the life be." (Philadelphia Inquirer) Robert Petkoff has appeared on film and TV in Woody Allens Irrational Man, Madm Secretary, Elementary, The Good Wife, Chappelles Show, and Law & Order. His Broadway credits include All the Way with Bryan Cranston, Anything Goes, Ragtime, Spamalot, and Fiddler on the Roof. Mr. Petkoff is an Audie and Earphones award winner.
©2002 Jonathan Safran Foer (P)2019 Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company
The moment those words come out of the doctors mouth, I feel sick. So sick. The life I have dreamed of obliterated. And Brody. God, Brody. How will he look at me? How can he accept me? He'll know what I hid from him. He'll know everything. It's over. It's completely over. I can't tell him "I love Us" anymore. Even though I do. Even though it will kill me. I can't tell him anything. Everything is ruined. Pummeled. Broken. I have to leave him. I have to give up us. I know he'll come after me. I just have to do something to make him not want to.
©2014 Amy Daws (P)2016 Amy Daws
Please write and tell me why you should live here.
Toby Dobbs received a big Victorian house with too many bedrooms to count as a wedding present from his father, but his marriage is over within a month. Very alone, and very lonely, Toby posts an advertisement seeking the Unexpectedly Alone to become his roommates. Fifteen years later, the wayward souls he takes in are still living with him, with no intention of leaving.
Please tell me how I can convince you to move out.
Toby Dobbs has met Leah Pilgrim from across the road, and they're falling in love. But before they can begin a new life together, Toby and Leah must help Toby's house of sweet slackers and lovelorn misfits grow up, solve their problems, and set themselves free. But can their new relationship survive the test?
©2008 Lisa Jewell (P)2019 Dreamscape Media, LLC
The brilliant Alexander McCall Smith became an international sensation with his New York Times best-selling No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency novels. His award-winning wit, made famous through that series, is fully on display in 44 Scotland Street. When Pat rents a room in Edinburgh, she acquires some interesting neighbors, including a pushy Stockbridge mother and her talented, sax-playing, 5-year-old son. Pat's job at an art gallery hardly keeps her busy, until she suspects one painting in the collection may be an undiscovered work from a Scottish master. As Pat handles the mystery of the painting, she and the people surrounding her confront issues of trust, love, and loss. Chalk up another winner for McCall Smith, whose endlessly entertaining and perceptive novel is filled with delightfully authentic sketches of all the archetypes of Edinburgh society.
©2005 Alexander McCall Smith (P)2005 Recorded Books, LLC
A National Best Seller No One Is Talking About This reaches for the sublime, online and off.... Lockwood is a modern word witch, her writing splendid and sordid by turns. (New York Times Book Review) Wow. I cant remember the last time I laughed so much reading a book. What an inventive and startling writer... Im so glad I read this. I really think this book is remarkable. (David Sedaris) From "a formidably gifted writer" (The New York Times Book Review), a book that asks: Is there life after the internet? As this urgent, genre-defying book opens, a woman who has recently been elevated to prominence for her social media posts travels around the world to meet her adoring fans. She is overwhelmed by navigating the new language and etiquette of what she terms "the portal", where she grapples with an unshakable conviction that a vast chorus of voices is now dictating her thoughts. When existential threats - from climate change and economic precariousness to the rise of an unnamed dictator and an epidemic of loneliness - begin to loom, she posts her way deeper into the portal's void. An avalanche of images, details, and references accumulate to form a landscape that is post-sense, post-irony, post-everything. "Are we in hell?" the people of the portal ask themselves. "Are we all just going to keep doing this until we die?" Suddenly, two texts from her mother pierce the fray: "Something has gone wrong" and "How soon can you get here?" As real life and its stakes collide with the increasingly absurd antics of the portal, the woman confronts a world that seems to contain both an abundance of proof that there is goodness, empathy, and justice in the universe, and a deluge of evidence to the contrary. Fragmentary and omniscient, incisive and sincere, No One Is Talking About This is at once a love letter to the endless scroll and a profound, modern meditation on love, language, and human connection from a singular voice in American literature.
©2021 Patricia Lockwood (P)2021 Penguin Audio
A New York Times Best Seller "None of this is real and all of it is true." (Jim Carrey) Meet Jim Carrey. Sure, he's an insanely successful and beloved movie star drowning in wealth and privilege - but he's also lonely. Maybe past his prime. Maybe even...getting fat? He's tried diets, gurus, and cuddling with his military-grade Israeli guard dogs, but nothing seems to lift the cloud of emptiness and ennui. Even the sage advice of his best friend, actor and dinosaur-skull collector Nicolas Cage, isn't enough to pull Carrey out of his slump. But then Jim meets Georgie: ruthless ingénue, love of his life. And with the help of auteur screenwriter Charlie Kaufman, he has a role to play in a boundary-pushing new picture that may help him uncover a whole new side to himself - finally, his Oscar vehicle! Things are looking up! But the universe has other plans. Memoirs and Misinformation is a fearless semi-autobiographical novel, a deconstruction of persona. In it, Jim Carrey and Dana Vachon have fashioned a story about acting, Hollywood, agents, celebrity, privilege, friendship, romance, addiction to relevance, fear of personal erasure, our "one big soul", Canada, and a cataclysmic ending of the world - apocalypses within and without.
©2020 Jim Carrey and Dana Vachon (P)2020 Random House Audio
"Askaripour closes the deal on the first page of this mesmerizing novel, executing a high wire act full of verve and dark, comic energy. (Colson Whitehead, author of The Nickel Boys) "A hilarious, gleaming satire as radiant as its author. Askaripour has announced himself as a major talent of the school of Ralph Ellison, Paul Beatty, Fran Ross, and Ishmael Reed. Full of quick pacing, frenetic energy, absurd - yet spot on - twists and turns, and some of the funniest similes Ive ever read, this novel is both balm and bomb." (Nafissa Thompson-Spires, author of Heads of the Colored People) For fans of Sorry to Bother You and The Wolf of Wall Street - a crackling, satirical debut novel about a young man given a shot at stardom as the lone Black salesman at a mysterious, cult-like, and wildly successful start-up where nothing is as it seems. Theres nothing like a Black salesman on a mission. An unambitious 22-year-old, Darren lives in a Bed-Stuy brownstone with his mother, who wants nothing more than to see him live up to his potential as the valedictorian of Bronx Science. But Darren is content working at Starbucks in the lobby of a Midtown office building, hanging out with his girlfriend, Soraya, and eating his mothers home-cooked meals. All that changes when a chance encounter with Rhett Daniels, the silver-tongued CEO of Sumwun, NYCs hottest tech start-up, results in an exclusive invitation for Darren to join an elite sales team on the 36th floor. After enduring a hell week of training, Darren, the only Black person in the company, reimagines himself as Buck, a ruthless salesman unrecognizable to his friends and family. But when things turn tragic at home and Buck feels hes hit rock bottom, he begins to hatch a plan to help young people of color infiltrate Americas sales force, setting off a chain of events that forever changes the game. Black Buck is a hilarious, razor-sharp skewering of Americas workforce; it is a propulsive, crackling debut that explores ambition and race, and makes way for a necessary new vision of the American dream.
©2021 Mateo Askaripour (P)2021 Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Co.
Where do we come from? Who created us? Why are we here? These questions have puzzled us since the dawn of time, but when it became apparent to Jon Stewart and the writers of The Daily Show that the world was about to end, they embarked on a massive mission to write a book that summed up the human race: What we looked like; what we accomplished; our achievements in society, government, religion, science, and culture - all in a lavishly produced audiobook of approximately 200 minutes. After two weeks of hard work and nights in the recording studio, they had their audiobook. Earth (The Audioook) is the definitive guide to our species. With their trademark wit, irreverence, and intelligence, Stewart and his team will posthumously answer all of life's most hard-hitting questions, completely unburdened by objectivity, journalistic integrity, or even accuracy. Read by Jon Stewart, the Daily Show correspondents, and featuring a special performance by Sigourney Weaver.
©2010 Jon Stewart (P)2010 Hachette Audio
Most people would describe Katherine Berger as a responsible girl with a big heart, a loyal friend who takes care of those close to her, and the possessor of a wicked sense of humor. There was something about her that most people didn't know. "My name is Kat Berger, and I love porn." When 25-year-old Kat is dragged to a porn convention by her best friend, she's both embarrassed and nervous. The last thing she ever expects is to meet someone who makes her laugh like no other. This is a story about acceptance and friendship and a love born out of the most unexpected of places.
©2012 Mariana Zapata (P)2016 Tantor
Prudence Burns is an overly idealistic Brooklyn girl who has inherited a derelict plot of land named Woefield Farm. Her motley crew of farm hands consists of Earl, an elderly, reclusive bluegrass legend; Seth, an agoraphobic heavy-metal blogger in early recovery from alcoholism; and Sara, an 11-year-old girl with a flock of elite show poultry. When Prudence is felled by a thyroid condition, things on the farm begin to fall apart, resulting in valiant and sometimes ill-advised attempts to restore domestic bliss. Efforts are complicated by a renegade mule, attempts to turn a hideously ugly child's playhouse into a high-yield roadside farm stand, and an electrical station's worth of crossed wires. Will Prudence get well? Will Seth finally get rid of his pesky virginity? Will Earl rescue Sara? And will anyone, ever, admit they might be wrong? Told in four highly distinct, unforgettably hilarious, and sometimes heartbreaking voices, The Republic of Dirt is about what happens when passions collide with pride and what it takes to save each other, our small part of the planet, and ourselves.
©2020 Susan Juby (P)2020 Recorded Books, Inc.
The dreaded friend zone... The last place I ever want to be with college basketball god Jake LaShae. I am losing my mind trying to figure out what this gorgeous and confident man wants from me. I need to break through his walls. What is it about me that makes him not go there? What am I lacking? When a mind-blowing betrayal knocks the wind out of me, and I think I can't feel any lower...Brody stumbles into my path - barefoot no less, and sexy as hell. His direct and mouthwatering swagger is a breath of fresh air. The feelings this man gives me are like nothing I've ever experienced. But Brody has a past. A past that makes it nearly impossible for him to trust me and let us become us in whatever capacity that may be. Just when Brody and I truly connect, just when I think that finding my soul mate in college isn't a total joke, Jake comes back into my life...and messes things up...possibly for good.
©2015 Amy Daws (P)2015 Amy Daws
In Lionel Shriver's entertaining send-up of today's cult of exercise - which not only encourages better health, but now like all religions also seems to promise meaning, social superiority, and eternal life - an aging husbands sudden obsession with extreme sport makes him unbearable. After an ignominious early retirement, Remington announces to his wife Serenata that he's decided to run a marathon. This from a sedentary man in his 60s who's never done a lick of exercise in his life. His wife can't help but observe that his ambition is "hopelessly trite". A loner, Serenata disdains mass group activities of any sort. Besides, his timing is cruel. Serenata has long been the couple's exercise freak, but by age 60, her private fitness regimes have destroyed her knees, and she'll soon face debilitating surgery. Yes, becoming more active would be good for Remington's heart, but then why not just go for a walk? Without several thousand of your closest friends? As Remington joins the cult of fitness that increasingly consumes the Western world, her once-modest husband burgeons into an unbearable narcissist. Ignoring all his other obligations, he engages a saucy, sexy personal trainer named Bambi, who treats Serenata with contempt. When Remington sets his sights on the legendarily grueling triathlon, MettleMan, Serenata is sure he'll end up injured or dead. And even if he does survive, their marriage may not. The Motion of the Body Through Space is vintage Lionel Shriver written with psychological insight, a rich cast of characters, lots of verve and petulance, an astute reading of contemporary culture, and an emotionally resonant ending.
©2020 Lionel Shriver (P)2020 HarperAudio
3 agosto 2010. Tornata a casa dopo il funerale del padre, Lison si vede consegnare un pacco, un regalo post mortem del defunto genitore: è un curioso diario del corpo che lui ha tenuto dall'età di dodici anni fino agli ultimi giorni della sua vita. Al centro di queste pagine regna, con tutta la sua fisicità, il corpo dell'io narrante che ci accompagna nel mondo, facendocelo scoprire attraverso i sensi: la voce stridula della madre anaffettiva, l'odore dell'amata tata Violette, il sapore del caffè di cicoria degli anni di guerra, il profumo asprigno della merenda povera a base di pane e mosto d'uva. Giorno dopo giorno, con poche righe asciutte o ampie frasi a coprire svariate pagine, il narratore ci racconta un viaggio straordinario, il viaggio di una vita, con tutte le sue strepitose scoperte, con le sue grandezze e le sue miserie: orgasmi potenti come eruzioni vulcaniche e dolori brucianti, muscoli felici per una lunga camminata attraverso Parigi e denti che fanno male, evacuazioni difficili e meravigliose avventure del sonno. Con la curiosità e la tenerezza del suo sguardo attento, con l'amore pudico con cui sempre osserva gli uomini, Pennac trova qui le parole giuste per raccontare la sola storia che ci fa davvero tutti uguali: grandiose e vulnerabili creature umane.
©2014 Giangiacomo Feltrinelli Editore S.r.l. Tradotto da Yasmina Melaouah (P)2016 Audible Studios
From the USA Today best-selling author of The Wedding Date! Meet Rachel, the beautiful bride with big plans for the perfect day! The venue is a castle and the dress is designer. Its just a shame her husband is a rat. Maddie and Sally have only one thing in common - they both love the same man! Beth is a newly single mum with a mystery baby daddy. Surely the father isnt someone the girls all know? And then theres Jane, the glue holding them all together, but being dumped doesnt make her the happiest bridesmaid...especially with gorgeous flatmate Freddie complicating things. Will the bride say, I Do!? Or will her bridesmaids save the day...and find love along the way? The most hilarious, feel-good rom com of the year!
©2019 Zara Stoneley (P)2019 HarperCollins Publishers Limited
Written by Kate Russell under official license from the creators of, and based in the vast universe of, the seminal space trading computer game Elite: Dangerous. Commander Angel Rose, forced into a life of crime due to circumstances beyond her control, is determined to survive in the unforgiving void as a professional assassin. Will she be forced into the ignominy of moving back in with her parents when her efforts fail to leave her with credit-earning blood on her hands? After years of galactic travel, could Angel's destiny be to end up drinking cheap liquor in a bar in Slough? Follow Kate on her website: katerussell.co.uk. Music by Allen Stroud. Cover design by Heather Murphy. A Radio Theatre Workshop production for Fantastic Books Audio. All rights reserved.
©2014 Kate Russell (P)2015 Daniel Grubb
Having journeyed through time in order to restore peace to the galaxy, Cal Carver and Space Team are a little dismayed to find out they may have inadvertently made things even worse...whoops. Captured by an unfamiliar alien species, the crew is banished to a life of slavery in the Mustard Mines of Moktar, where they come face to face with the sinister Manacle - a terrying new enemy whose diabolical agenda is worse than any they have encountered before. With the clock ticking and thousands of lives at stake, Space Team must race across the galaxy, stop Manacle's evil scheme, and save the day once more. But first, they have to escape.... Featuring space gnomes, sand stomachs, and the sexiest facial paralysis in history, Space Team: Sting of the Mustard Mines is the 10th explosive adventure in the Space Team series, and the perfect jumping-on point for new listeners.
©2018 Barry J. Hutchison (P)2019 Barry J. Hutchison
In a cosy corner of Paris, a delicious little patisserie is just waiting to be discovered. And romance might just be on the menu.... As the youngest of four, Nina Hadley has always had her big brothers telling her what to do. So, when shes given the chance to move to Paris and help run a patisserie course, she cant say au revoir quick enough! Theres just one problem: high-flying chef Sebastian Finlay is the owner of the patisserie. Hes also her brother Nicks best friend - and the man she has secretly been in love with since forever. Amongst the mouthwateringly delicious eclairs and delicate macaroons, Ninas culinary creations arent the only tempting thing shes working with....
©2019 Julie Caplin (P)2019 HarperCollins Publishers Limited (2017)
The Noobtown saga continues with Noob Game Plus, the eagerly awaited sequel to top Audible-ranked Dungeons and Noobs, from a LitRPG author at the top of his game. Join the millions of listeners who have enjoyed Johnathan McClains hilarious portrayal of Jim; his shoulder demon, Shart; his animal companion, Badgelor; and so many other unforgettable characters. What happened? The last thing Jim remembered was being tossed unceremoniously through the Demon Door. Now, he's right back where he first started his adventure, sans demon and badger. Jims got to make some fast choices if he has any hope of making it back to Windfall and defeating Charles. But after Jarra's death, is Windfall even what he wants anymore?
©2021 Ryan Rimmel (P)2021 Podium Audio
Danny Garvey was a 16-year-old footballing prodigy. Professional clubs clamoured to sign him, and a glittering future beckoned. And yet, his early promise remained unfulfilled, and Danny is back home in the tiny village of Barshaw to manage the struggling junior team he once played for. Whats more, hes hiding a secret about a tragic night, 13 years earlier, that changed the course of several lives. Theres only one Danny Garvey, they once chanted...and thats the problem.
©2021 David F. Ross (P)2021 Isis Publishing Ltd
This biting satire won Canadian author Will Ferguson the prestigious Canadian Authors Association Award for Fiction as well as a Leacock Medal for Humour. Lowly editor Edwin de Valu's life moves at a pretty humdrum pace, until he discovers the manuscript for Tupak Soiree's book on his desk. This self-help tome is different - it actually works. And soon the world turns upside down thanks to the advice of this mysterious guru.
©2002 Will Ferguson (P)2009 Recorded Books, LLC
Rachel Walsh is 27 and the miserable owner of size 8 feet. She has regular congress with Luke Costello, a man who wears his leather trousers tight. And she's fond - some might say too fond - of recreational drugs. Until, that is, everything goes pear-shaped and she finds herself being frog-marched to the Cloisters - Dublin's answer to the Betty Ford Clinic. She's outraged. Surely she's not thin enough to be an addict? Rachel isn't expecting plump, middle-aged men in brown jumpers, and more group therapy than you can shake a stick at. Heartsick and Lovesick, she seeks redemption in the shape of Chris - a man who might be more trouble than he's worth.
©2001 W F Howes Ltd (P)2001 W F Howes Ltd
After surviving countless perils and dangers, including an examination by the Blood Council, Fred is preparing to take on his most important adventure to date: marrying Krystal. That is, if he can get everything handled in time. Visiting Boarback, hiring new staff, clearing out his schedule for a honeymoon; there's no shortage of tasks to check off before the big day arrives. But not everyone views the occasion in such a happy light. With new dangers looming, old debts raised, and grudges rekindled, it'll take everything Fred has to finally make it down the aisle.
©2019 Andrew Hayes (P)2020 Tantor
You will laugh out loud at some of the most hilarious jokes ever with this collection! LOL at one of the most popular characters with funny jokes and stories about them! Get your copy now by clicking the purchase button! Get instant access to all of the most popular jokes!
©2018 HIDDENSTUFF ENTERTAINMENT LLC (P)2018 HIDDENSTUFF ENTERTAINMENT LLC
Vampyres don't exist. They absolutely do not exist. At least I didn't think they did 'til I tried to quit smoking and ended up Undead. Who in the hell did I screw over in a former life that my getting healthy equates with dead? Now I'm a Vampyre. Yes, we exist whether we want to or not. However, I have to admit, the perks aren't bad. My girls no longer jiggle, my ass is higher than a kite, and the latest Prada keeps finding its way to my wardrobe. On the downside, I'm stuck with an obscenely profane Guardian Angel who looks like Oprah and a Fairy Fighting Coach who's teaching me to annihilate like the Terminator. To complicate matters, my libido has increased to Vampyric proportions, and my attraction to a hotter-than-Satan's-underpants killer rogue Vampyre is not only dangerous...it's possibly deadly. For real dead. Permanent death isn't on my agenda. Avoiding him is my only option. Of course, since he thinks I'm his, it's easier said than done. Like that's not enough to deal with, all the other Vampyres think I'm some sort of Chosen One. Holy hell, if I'm in charge of saving an entire race of blood suckers, the Undead are in for one hell of a ride.
©2014 Robyn Peterman (P)2016 Audible, Inc.
Vampire Queen Betsy Taylor - newly married and living in the suburbs - rules the night in this seventh book from MaryJanice Davidson's New York Times best-selling series. Already busy dealing with a pesky ghost, Betsy must rise to the occasion when a pack of formerly feral vamps comes calling.
©2008 Mary Janice Alongi (P)2008 Recorded Books, LLC
Gemma didnt expect her life to look like this. Shes still living with her mother, who steals her leggings and tells her off for leaving crumbs in the butter. After 20 failed interviews she thought shed got her dream job as a journalist - except it turns out to be writing articles about cats that look like George Clooney. Luckily she has her wonderful boyfriend, Jack, to help her forget just how awful things are. Then Jack dumps her out of the blue. With nothing but her childhood teddy bear, Stanley, and a whole heap of heartbreak, Gemma resolves to turn things around. She throws herself into her new job, and soon shes hanging out with cheeky, golden-haired hunk Charlie, eating in swanky restaurants and sipping trendy cocktails - and her old life seems like a distant memory. But its not long until her shiny new world starts to lose its sparkle - and Gemma misses the days of wearing battered pink converse and eating peanut butter on toast in bed. Then Jack turns up, backpack in tow, and things start to go wrong with Charlie. "Out with the old, in with the new", the saying goes. But what happens if neither one is quite right? This laugh-out-loud romantic comedy is for anyone whos ever cried their eyes out to love songs after a breakup or accidentally drunk-texted their ex. Fans of Sophie Kinsella and Lindsey Kelk will love this unmissable listen, which is all about falling in love with the most important person: yourself! This book was previously published as The Truth About Gemma Grey.
©2017, 2019 Sophie Ranald (P)2019 Bookouture
From the New York Times best-selling author of The No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency comes this serialized novelreminiscent of his acclaimed 44 Scotland Street. In Londons Pimlico neighborhood lies a tenement described in architectural guides as a building of no interest whatsoever. But the residents of Corduroy Mansionsincluding a literary agent, a wine merchant, a thoroughly unpleasant member of Parliament, and a vegetarian dogare a rather fascinating lot. Theres the vitamin evangelist, the psychoanalyst, the art student with a puzzling boyfriend, and Freddie de la Hay, the Pimlico terrier who insists on wearing a seat belt and is almost certainly the only avowed vegetarian canine in London. Filled with the ins and outs of neighborliness in all its unexpected variations, Corduroy Mansions showcases the life, laughter, and humanity that have become the hallmarks of Alexander McCall Smiths work.
©2010 Alexander McCall Smith (P)2010 Recorded Books, LLC
Virginia Miner, a 50-something, unmarried tenured professor, is in London to work on her new book about children's folk rhymes. Despite carrying a U.S. passport, Vinnie feels essentially English and rather looks down on her fellow Americans. But in spite of that, she is drawn into a mortifying and oddly satisfying affair with an Oklahoman tourist who dresses more Bronco Billy than Beau Brummel. Also in London is Vinnie's colleague, Fred Turner, a handsome, flat broke, newly separated, and thoroughly miserable young man trying to focus on his own research. Instead, he is distracted by a beautiful and unpredictable English actress and the world she belongs to. Both American, both abroad, and both achingly lonely, Vinnie and Fred play out their confused alienation and dizzying romantic liaisons in Alison Lurie's Pulitzer Prize-winning novel. Smartly written, poignant, and witty, Foreign Affairs remains an enduring comic masterpiece.
©2006 Alison Lurie (P)2011 Audible, Inc.
When Lexi Blake was 12 years old, a fortune teller gave her the following cryptic message: In your 30th year, once the dog jumps over you, your life will change in the most unexpected ways. Lexi is 30 now, and the following unexpected things have occurred: While walking through Central Park enjoying a beautiful fall day, Lexi eats dirt when a careless dog owner throws a frisbee at her head. A dog jumps over her. Lexi gets a promotion that pays less than her current job. Her crush announces that he's engaged. Her apartment turns condo and she can't afford the down payment. In order to escape her bad luck, she takes a vacation to visit a good friend in Creek Water, Missouri. But as it turns out, fate has a lot more in store for Lexi Blake.
©2019 Whitney Dineen (P)2021 Tantor
What's next for Allan Karlsson? Turns out this centenarian has a few more adventures in store.... It all begins with a hot air balloon trip and three bottles of champagne. Allan and Julius are ready for some spectacular views, but theyre not expecting to land in the sea and be rescued by a North Korean ship, and they could never have imagined that the captain of the ship would be harboring a suitcase full of contraband uranium, on a nuclear weapons mission for Kim Jong-un. Yikes! Soon Allan and Julius are at the center of a complex diplomatic crisis involving world figures from the Swedish foreign minister to Angela Merkel and President Trump. Needless to say, things are about to get very, very complicated. Another hilarious, witty, and entertaining novel from best-selling author Jonas Jonasson that will have listeners howling out-loud at the escapades and misfortunes of its beloved 100-year-old hero Allan Karlsson and his irresistible sidekick Julius.
©2018 Jonas Jonasson (P)2018 HarperCollins Publishers
When Fred formed his own parahuman clan out of necessity, he understood that it was going to come with new responsibilities. Much as he hoped those tasks would center around extra paperwork and perhaps the occasional mandatory class, enough time around the supernatural has taught him to be ready for anything. Or so he thought. As a freelance accountant for the Agency, Fred soon finds himself being tossed into new, unexpected, and perilous situations. From inventorying ghostly castles, to exploring unsettling amusement parks, to negotiating with dangerous mages, it seems there is no end to the uses for an accountant of Fred's specialty. But dangerous as the new jobs are, the greatest threat may come from the past. An old enemy is making waves once more, an enemy who would go to great lengths to destroy Fred and everyone he loves. And this time, they've brought backup.
©2017 Drew Hayes (P)2017 Tantor
Its Friends meets Almost Famous meets the beach read youll be recommending all summer. (TheSkimm) From the author of the New York Times best seller The Vacationers, a smart, highly entertaining novel about a tight-knit group of friends from college - and what it means to finally grow up, well after adulthood has set in. Friends and former college bandmates Elizabeth and Andrew and Zoe have watched one another marry, buy real estate, and start businesses and families, all while trying to hold on to the identities of their youth. But nothing ages them like having to suddenly pass the torch (of sexuality, independence, and the ineffable alchemy of cool) to their own offspring. Back in the band's heyday, Elizabeth put on a snarl over her Midwestern smile, Andrew let his unwashed hair grow past his chin, and Zoe was the lesbian all the straight women wanted to sleep with. Now nearing 50, they all live within shouting distance in the same neighborhood deep in gentrified Brooklyn, and the trappings of the adult world seem to have arrived with ease. But the summer that their children reach maturity (and start sleeping together), the fabric of the adult lives suddenly begins to unravel, and the secrets and revelations that are finally let loose - about themselves, and about the famous fourth band member who soared and fell without them - can never be reclaimed. Straub packs wisdom and insight and humor together in a satisfying book about neighbors and nosiness, ambition and pleasure, the excitement of youth, the shock of middle age, and the fact that our passions - be they food, or friendship, or music - never go away, they just evolve and grow along with us.
©2016 Emma Straub (P)2016 Penguin Audio
Iain Levison beschreibt in dieser bitter-witzigen Gesellschaftssatire eine erbarmungslose neue Arbeitswelt, in der man sich nur mit Zynismus und List durchzuschlagen vermag...
(p) und © 2008 BUCHFUNK
In this uproarious novel, Richard Russo performs his characteristic high-wire walk between hilarity and heartbreak. Russo's protagonist is William Henry Devereaux, Jr., the reluctant chairman of the English department of a badly underfunded college in the Pennsylvania rust belt. Devereaux's reluctance is partly rooted in his character - he is a born anarchist - and partly in the fact that his department is more savagely divided than the Balkans. In the course of a single week, Devereaux will have his nose mangled by an angry colleague, imagine his wife is having an affair with his dean, wonder if a curvaceous adjunct is trying to seduce him with peach pits, and threaten to execute a goose on local television. All this while coming to terms with his philandering father, the dereliction of his youthful promise, and the ominous failure of certain vital body functions. In short, Straight Man is classic Russo - side-splitting and true-to-life, witty, compassionate, and impossible to put down.
©1997 Richard Russo (P)2003 Random House, Inc.
A holiday can solve everything...cant it? A hilarious, hot new summer escape about kissing your past good-bye and learning to love again.... Carefree, 30-something Mandy thought shed be married to first love Danny forever. So when she discovers her heartthrob husband has had a fling, she realizes its time to make some big changes. But what will Mandy do now shes single for the first time in her adult life? Determined to find her spark again, Mandy hops on a plane, ready for adventure and a second chance at happiness. Escaping to a sun-drenched Greek island, the glittering blue seas, golden beaches, and delicious cocktails are exactly what she needs. Over one spontaneous summer, Mandy has the time of her life making new friends in a pretty little Mediterranean village by the sea. And she finds herself unexpectedly falling for a tall, dark, handsome stranger. But Mandy soon realizes that even paradise has its problems.... Can a holiday romance really heal her broken heart? Or will someone in Mandys old life call her home again? A hilarious feel-good story of laughter, sunshine, and living life to the full, perfect for fans of Kat French, Jenny Oliver, and Carole Matthews.
©2018 Sue Roberts (P)2018 Bookouture
Dan Deadman is having one of those days. After saving the grim and gritty alien city of Down Here from something big, mean, and mind-bendingly horrible, Dan is looking forward to unwinding in the closest available bar. Annoyingly, the universe has other ideas. Instead, Dan finds himself investigating a cheating husband, two horrible murders, and the potential enslavement of everyone in the galaxy. With his caseload stretching his woefully limited detective skills, his car in pieces, and the whole "being dead" thing not doing him any favors, Dan has no choice but to ask his friends for help. And that's when his problems really start. Featuring motivational gangsters, predatory worms, and a whole classroom full of defecating infants, Dead Inside is the second book in the Dan Deadman Space Detective series, and the follow-up to the best-selling Dial D for Deadman.
©2017 Barry J. Hutchison (P)2018 Barry J. Hutchison
Meet Bird and Mimi in this brilliant new novel from one of Canadas foremost authors. Inspired by a handful of old postcards sent by Uncle Leroy nearly a hundred years earlier, Bird and Mimi attempt to trace Mimis long-lost uncle and the family medicine bundle he took with him to Europe. Im sweaty and sticky. My ears are still popping from the descent into Vaclav Havel. My sinuses ache. My stomach is upset. My mouth is a sewer. I roll over and bury my face in a pillow. Mimi snuggles down beside me with no regard for my distress. My god, she whispers, can it get any better? By turns witty, sly and poignant, this is the unforgettable tale of one couples holiday trip to Europe, where their wanderings through its famous capitals reveal a complicated history, both personal and political.
©2020 Thomas King (P)2020 HarperCollins Publishers
Go the F--k to Sleep is a bedtime book for parents who live in the real world, where a few snoozing kitties and cutesy rhymes dont always send a toddler sailing off to dreamland. Profane, affectionate and refreshingly honest, it captures the familiar and unspoken tribulations of putting your child to bed for the night. Colourfully illustrated and hilariously funny, this is a breath of fresh air for parents new, old and expectant*. *You should probably not read this to your children.
©2011 Adam Mansbach (P)2011 Canongate Books Ltd
A first-date dud, socially awkward, and overly fond of quick-dry clothes, genetics professor Don Tillman has given up on love, until a chance encounter gives him an idea. He will design a questionnaire - a 16-page, scientifically researched questionnaire - to uncover the perfect partner. She will most definitely not be a barmaid, a smoker, a drinker or a late-arriver. Rosie is all these things. She is also fiery and intelligent, strangely beguiling, and looking for her biological father - a search that a DNA expert might just be able to help her with. The Rosie Project is a romantic comedy like no other. It is arrestingly endearing and entirely unconventional, and it will make you want to drink cocktails.
©2013 Graeme Simsion (P)2013 HarperCollins Canada
The third part of the laugh-out-loud sci-fi adventure series, from the author critics are calling "the new Douglas Adams." Cal Carver, petty-criminal turned space adventurer, is on a suicide mission - and he really hates suicide missions. But this time it's to save his best buddy, Splurt, who has been taken prisoner by the elderly assassin, Lady Vajazzle, and the evil Zertex corporation. When they discover that the ship carrying Splurt never made it to Zertex, their search leads them through a wormhole to a mysterious planet unlike any they have seen before. Will they survive this strange new world and finally find their friend? And, more importantly, does he even want to be found? Packed with gladiator battles, angry bees, a big thing blowing up, and the return of the galaxy's oldest assassin, Space Team: The Search for Splurt, is the rip-roaring conclusion to the first Space Team trilogy.
©2017 Barry J. Hutchison (P)2017 Barry J. Hutchison
A 2020 Audie winner - best female narrator A Read with Jenna Today Show Book Club Pick! Audiobook performed by Marin Ireland. "I cant believe how good this book is.... Its wholly original. Its also perfect.... Wilson writes with such a light touch.... The brilliance of the novel [is] that it distracts you with these weirdo characters and mesmerizing and funny sentences and then hits you in a way you didnt see coming. Youre laughing so hard you dont even realize that youve suddenly caught fire." (Taffy Brodesser-Akner, New York Times Book Review) Kevin Wilsons best book yet - a moving and uproarious novel about a woman who finds meaning in her life when she begins caring for two children with remarkable and disturbing abilities. Lillian and Madison were unlikely roommates and yet inseparable friends at their elite boarding school. But then, Lillian had to leave the school unexpectedly in the wake of a scandal, and theyve barely spoken since. Until now, when Lillian gets a letter from Madison pleading for her help. Madisons twin stepkids are moving in with her family, and she wants Lillian to be their caretaker. However, theres a catch: The twins spontaneously combust when they get agitated, flames igniting from their skin in a startling but beautiful way. Lillian is convinced Madison is pulling her leg, but its the truth. Thinking of her dead-end life at home, the life that has consistently disappointed her, Lillian figures she has nothing to lose. Over the course of one humid, demanding summer, Lillian and the twins learn to trust each other - and stay cool - while also staying out of the way of Madisons buttoned-up politician husband. Surprised by her own ingenuity yet unused to the intense feelings of protectiveness she feels for them, Lillian ultimately begins to accept that she needs these strange children as much as they need her - urgently and fiercely. Couldnt this be the start of the amazing life shed always hoped for? With white-hot wit and a big, tender heart, Kevin Wilson has written his best book yet - a most unusual story of parental love.
©2019 Kevin Wilson (P)2019 HarperAudio
An evil wizard has a midlife crisis. Is trying to sacrifice your estranged wife to a bloodthirsty demon an irredeemable act of evil? This is the sort of question the Dread Wizard Darruk Darkbringer struggles with. After being called evil one too many times, Darruk sets off to find a new purpose in his life and become a beloved celebrity. Can a dark wizard come to terms with himself and prove to the world that a few atrocities dont define who he is? Youll feel guilty for laughing at his twisted tale of self-discovery.
©2019 Steve Thomas (P)2020 Steve Thomas
When love reigns supreme in Northridge High just outside Chicago, by the lake, it happens beneath the soft, pink-infused spotlights hovering over that most special night of the year - prom night! And when that happens, its bound to be called . . . Passable in Pink Passable in Pink is an Audible Original from New York Times best-selling author Mike Sacks (And Here's the Kicker, Poking a Dead Frog). Sacks has teamed up once again with director Eric Jason Martin (Heads Will Roll) to adapt a forgotten John Hughes-type 1983 movie into a fully immersive cinematic audio experience, with an epic all-star cast, including: Gillian Jacobs (Girls, Love), Adam Scott (Parks and Rec, Big Little Lies), Bobby Moynihan (SNL), Rhea Seehorn (Better Call Saul), Bob Odenkirk (Better Call Saul, Breaking Bad), Justine Bateman (Family Ties), Julie Klausner (Difficult People), Laraine Newman (SNL), and Judd Nelson (The Breakfast Club). Passable in Pink deftly sends up the 1980s while addressing the vital question: Will Addy Stevenson go to the senior prom? Addy is suffering through her sophomore year at suburban Chicagos Northridge High. She lives on the wrong side of the lake with her father, a struggling advertising copywriter (Where the hell is the goddamn beef?) and her ever-boozy mom (Get me another drink, baby, and really make it sing.). Addys younger brother, Spaz, her soon-to-marry older sister, Princess, and a visiting international transfer student add to the mix. Her world is turned upside down when she meets Roland McDough, the most beautiful Richie boy at Northridge High. Is he actually interested in Addy, or is he just playing a game? This star-studded Audible Original also features a special 11-song, 1980s-infused film soundtrack, produced by Mark Rozzo (Stinker Lets Loose!). Are you ready to jump back into the cool, neon-glazed, high-topped reality of the 1980s? Do you miss those kick-ass tubular synth-rockin sounds and delicious phantasma-gaseous smells? When was the last time you put on your Members Only jacket and danced the Safety Dance? A loving send-up of a bygone era, this is one audio comedy where Every Breath You Take will remind you of How You Used to Be. Full cast includes: Gillian Jacobs, Adam Scott, Bobby Moynihan, Bob Odenkirk, Emily Woo Zeller, Rhea Seehorn, Laraine Newman, Judd Nelson, James Adomian, Sasheer Zamata, Joel Kim Booster, Julie Klausner, Justine Bateman, Mark Gagliardi, Jessica McKenna, Justin Michael, Julia Whelan, Eric Jason Martin, Tara Sands, and Mike Sacks.
©2019 Audible Originals, LLC (P)2019 Audible Originals, LLC.
Hes got pirates behind him, sea monsters ahead of him and a boatload of passengers that refuse to get along. Its been a year since the events in Niagara Falls. Things have generally gotten better in the wasteland and civilization is starting to take hold along the rivers. No one knows where the Librarian is, or if hes alive, but theres a man and a mastiff running passengers from Hannibal to Cairo that might have an idea as to what really happened. Life is starting to return to normal along the river if you dont count the pirates and the sea monsters. But all of that is about to change and the end of the world may never be the same again. The Duck and Cover Adventures continue in book five, Crossroads of the Apocalypse. Its still the end of the world as youve never known it.
©2019 Benjamin Wallace (P)2020 Benjamin Wallace
Loch is seeking revenge. It would help if she wasnt in jail. The plan: To steal a priceless elven manuscript that once belonged to her family, but is now in the hands of the most powerful man in the Republic. To do so, Loch - former soldier, former prisoner, and current fugitive - must assemble a crack team of magical misfits that includes a cynical illusionist, a shape shifting unicorn, a repentant death priestess, a talking magical war hammer, and a lad with seemingly no skills. This crack team of misfits will help her break into the floating fortress of Heavens Spire and the vault that holds her familys treasure - all while eluding the unrelenting pursuit of Justicar Pyvic, whose only mission is to see the law upheld. What could possibly go wrong?
©2013 Patrick Weekes (P)2013 Brilliance Audio, all rights reserved
[Contains explicit content] The outrageous, madcap, and oft-forgotten 1977 cult movie classic is now finally available as a multi-cast audio extravaganza. You ain't never heard anything like it! Oh, and its now a New York Times audio bestseller! Bestselling author Mike Sacks (And Here's the Kicker, Poking a Dead Frog) has just discovered the original novelization of the long-lost classic movie, Stinker Lets Loose! Mike has teamed up with director Eric Martin to adapt the novelization into a fully immersive cinematic audio experience, and an epic all-star cast has come together to introduce Stinker to a whole new generation of fans! It's Smokey and the Bandit meets Every Which Way But Loose meets Smokey and the Bandit Parts 2 and 3. Feel the thrill as Stinker teams up with old pals Boner and Jumbo, plus new friends Buck and Rascal the Chimp, for a crazy ride across the highways and byways of Bicentennial America and meets scores of beautiful Southern gals, reams of treacherous villains, and even the Big Man! Will Stinker truly Let Loose? Or will Big Government and the Smokeys bring him down? A loving send-up of a bygone era of trucker films and their beer-swillin', skirt-chasin', verb-shortenin' heroes, this audio adventure is a joyride in absurdity; with its rapid-fire jokes only matched by their total outrageousness. But enough of this jaw-jackin'. If you don't listen, then the joke's on you! Now with a special bonus chapter! Enjoy a live performance of highlights from the audiobook, performed by a full cast of actors and musicians at SF Sketchfest. Tune into Chapter 50 for the full live show! Narrated and Directed by Eric Martin Starring Jon Hamm as Stinker Rhea Seehorn as Gwyneth Andy Daly as Boner John DiMaggio as Jumbo and Sheriff Sledge Paul F. Tompkins as Clarence Macleod and Mr. Walsh Jessica McKenna as Buck Kimmy Gatewood as Betty Mark Gagliardi as Big Red Justin Michael as Pip With James Urbaniak as President Jimmy Carter and Jeremiah King Guest Starring Andy Richter as Orville Max And Phillip Baker Hall as the Big Man Introduction by Mike Sacks Full cast includes: Scott Brick, RC Bray, Rachel Butera, Emily Woo Zeller, PJ Ochlan, Suzanne Elise Freeman, Heather Forte, Robert Beitzel, and Seth Allen Original songs by CJ McKnight as played by Mark Rozzo "This movie made my eyes bleed, and the book made pus run out of them. The two things were made for each other. They're awful and awfuler. This novelization stinks." - David Sedaris Rated R. Contains mature 1970's themes. Presented by Audible Comedy / An Audible Original Production
©2017 Sunshine Beam Publishing (P)2018 Audible Comedy
Domestic bliss seems in short supply at 44 Scotland Street. Over at the Pollocks', dad, Stuart, is harbouring a secret about a secret society and Bertie is feeling kind of blue. Having had enough of his neurotic hot-housing mother, he puts himself up for adoption on eBay. Will he go to the highest bidder or will he have to take matters into his own hands? Will the lovelorn Big Lou find true love on the Internet? And will Angus Lordie and Domenica make it up the aisle? Catch up with all your favorite faces down in 44 Scotland Street as we follow their daily pursuit of a little happiness.
©2011 Alexander McCall Smith (P)2013 Recorded Books
Winner of the Comedy Women in Print Prize. Shortlisted for The Katie Fforde Debut Romantic Novel Award 2021. When her father falls ill, Billie returns home to the Yorkshire farm which she left behind for life in London. The transition back to country lass from city girl isnt easy, not least because leaving London means leaving her relationship with Joely Chevalier, just as it was heating up. And when she gets to Yorkshire, Billies shocked to discover the family dairy farm is in dire straits the last thing Billie expected was a return to the life of a farmer but it isnt long before shes up at five in the morning with manure up to her wellies. Can Billie must find a way to keep the cows happy, save the farm and save herself?
©2020 Kirsty Eyre (P)2020 HarperCollins Publishers Limited
What do we believe? And in God's name why? Lewis Black has the answers. Or at least his answers. He survived Hebrew school and a bar mitzvah (barely), was a 60's college student who saw the parallels between religious rapture and drug-induced visions (even if none of his friends did), explored the self-actualization movement of the 70's (and the self-indulgence it engendered), and turned a cynical eye toward politicians who don the cloak of religious rectitude to cover up their own hypocrisy. What he learned about the inconsistencies and peculiarities of religion infuriated Black, and in Me of Little Faith they get his full comic attention. In a series of comedic inquiries, Black explores how the rules and constraints of religion have affected his life and the lives of us all. Hilarious experiences with rabbis, Mormons, gurus, psychics, and even the joy of a perfect round of golf give Black the chance to expound upon what we believe and why - in the language of a shock jock and with the heart of an iconoclast.
©2008 Lewis Black (P)2008 Penguin Audiobooks
As Constantinople is being pillaged and burned in April 1204, a young man, Baudolino, manages to save a historian and a high court official from certain death at the hands of crusading warriors. Born a simple peasant, Baudolino has two gifts: his ability to learn languages and to lie. A young man, he is adopted by a foreign commander who sends him to university in Paris. After he allies with a group of fearless and adventurous fellow students, they go in search of a vast kingdom to the East - a kingdom of strange creatures, eunuchs, unicorns and, of course, lovely maidens. Fusing historical events with myths and fables, this is a lighthearted, splendid tale.
©2000 RCS Libri S.p.A (P)2002 Recorded Books
Deeming the Whore's Head Inn no longer safe to hide in, the gang decide to take a more proactive role in their pursuit to get back to reality, or at least to keep Mordred from doing so.
©2019 Robert Bevan (P)2019 Robert Bevan
It seems the universe itself is conspiring against the residents of Corduroy Mansions, as they all find themselves struggling with their nearest and dearest. Oedipus Snarks mother, Berthea, is still at work on her scathing biography of her son - the only loathsome Liberal Democrat Member of Parliament; literary agents Rupert Porter and Barbara Ragg are still battling each other for first crack at the manuscript of Autobiography of a Yeti; fine arts graduate Caroline Jarvis is busy exploring the blurry line between friendship and romance; and William French is still worrying that his son, Eddie, may never leave home, even though Eddies got a new wealthy girlfriend. But uppermost in everyones mind is Williams faithful terrier, Freddie de la Hay - without a doubt the only dog clever enough to have been recruited by MI6 - who has disappeared while on a mystery tour around the Suffolk countryside. Will Freddie find his way back to Pimlico? Is Corduroy Mansions starting to crumble?
©2011 Alexander McCall Smith (P)2012 Recorded Books, LLC
Choose us. Choose life. Choose mortgage payments; choose washing machines; choose cars; choose sitting oan a couch watching mind-numbing and spirit-crushing game shows, stuffing f****n junk food intae yir mooth. Choose rotting away, pishing and shiteing yersel in a home, a total f***n embarrassment tae the selfish, f****d-up brats ye've produced. Choose life.
©1993 Irvine Welsh (P)2012 Random House AudioGo
Adventuring is a costly affair, and while the tolls are often paid in blood, gold can drain away just as quickly. The party's trek out of Solium and across the lands of Alcatham has left them with only a handful of gold between them. Fortunately, they have drawn near Camnarael, Alcatham's capital, where all manner of quests - and rewards - await. But all is not as expected in the capital. Unusual occurrences have been happening throughout Camnarael: figures in the shadows making unsavory bargains, attackers harassing innocent parishioners, and adventurers from all over the land gathering to partake in a Grand Quest offered by the royal family. Most curious of all are the rumors that speak of a strange artifact serving as the reward for this rare and legendary quest...an artifact that sounds just a bit too familiar to the former NPCs.
©2016 Andrew Hayes (P)2017 Tantor
Script idea #142: Aliens undercover as cabbies abduct the fiancée of the main character, who has to find a way to a remote planet to save her. Title: Love Trek. Script idea #185: Teenager discovers his girlfriend's beloved grandfather was a guard in a Nazi death camp. The boy's grandparents are survivors, but he's tantalizingly close to achieving deflowerment, so when a Nazi hunter arrives in town in pursuit of Grandpa, he has to distract him long enough to get laid. A riotous Holocaust comedy. Title: The Righteous Love. Script idea #196: Rock star high out of his mind freaks out during a show, runs offstage, and is lost in streets crowded with his hallucinations. The teenage fan who finds him keeps the rock star for himself for the night. Mishaps and adventures follow. This one could be a musical: Singin' in the Brain. Josh Levin is an aspiring screenwriter teaching ESL classes in Chicago. His laptop is full of ideas, but the only one to really take root is Zombie Wars. When Josh comes home to discover his landlord, an unhinged army vet, rifling through his dirty laundry, he decides to move in with his girlfriend, Kimmy. It's domestic bliss for a moment, but Josh becomes entangled with a student, a Bosnian woman named Ana, whose husband is jealous and violent. Disaster ensues, and as Josh's choices move from silly to profoundly absurd, The Making of Zombie Wars takes on real consequence.
©2015 Aleksandar Hemon (P)2015 Macmillan Audio
The corporations promised it could never happen. Of course they would say that. Their products were everywhere. They had turned everything from scarecrows to coffee makers into robots, and there wasn't a home on Earth that wasn't filled with their machines. The League for the Preservation of Humans said it was inevitable. It wouldn't be much of a league otherwise. If they gave up their cause, there'd be no need for the rallies, or the fundraisers, or the galas. And who would they feel superior to if they didn't get to lecture everyone? The people were mostly meh about the whole thing. It was a given that robots occasionally turned into murderous machines. But the odds were against it. And it was worth taking the risk as long as people didn't have to do their own laundry. But when the machines rebelled, it was the Junkers problem. Jake and his crew were used to putting down a rogue machine that was out of warranty. But when the entire city started turning on humanity, it was left up to him and his team of misfits to save us all. We're probably screwed.
©2018 Benjamin Wallace (P)2018 Benjamin Wallace
For fans of A Man Called Ove comes a funny, big-hearted tale about an old man who is young at heart. Hendrik Groen may be old, but he is far from dead and isn't planning to be buried any time soon. Granted, his daily strolls are getting shorter because his legs are no longer willing, and he has to visit his doctor more than he'd like. Technically speaking he is...elderly. But surely there is more to life at his age than weak tea and potted geraniums? Hendrik sets out to write an exposé: a year in the life of his care home in Amsterdam, revealing all its ups and downs - not least his new endeavor, the anarchic Old-but-Not-Dead Club. And when Eefje moves in - the woman Hendrik has always longed for - he polishes his shoes (and his teeth), grooms what's left of his hair, and attempts to make something of the life he has left, with hilarious, tender, and devastating consequences. The Secret Diary of Hendrik Groen will not only delight older listeners with its wit and relevance but charm and inspire those who have years to go before their own expiry dates.
©2017 Hester Velmans (P)2017 Hachette Audio
From the bestselling author of Matchmaking for Beginners comes a novel about love, loss, and the beautiful mess of family. Marnie MacGraw and Patrick Delaney have been in love for a few years now, enough to realize that they are imperfectly perfect together. Still, there are some things that maybe need a little attention. Marnies ebullient; hes brooding. She thrives on change; he prefers stability. She sees marriage and parenthood in their future, but he cant see beyond the shadow of an earlier tragedy. Then an eight-year-old surprise from Patricks past shows up on their doorstep, cartwheeling into their lives and spinning things in all directions. While its not exactly the change she envisioned, it looks like instant family to Marnie. But Patrick, afraid of being hurt again, retreats further into himself. Suddenly, two very different pieces of a beautiful puzzle find it harder and harder to fit. How can Marnie trust in the magic of the universe when it seems to be doing its best to knock her off her feet? But some love stories are worth waiting for. And whats love without a little chaos anyway?
©2020 Maddie Dawson. (P)2020 Brilliance Publishing, Inc., all rights reserved.
A hilarious fantasy book bundle! Book one: A Quest of Undoing Follow Master Wizard Xebdigon Whizzfiddle as he struggles to complete a nearly impossible quest in only 30 days. He must help an enormous dwarf, an unattractive elf, a knight who is afraid of his own shadow, a lizard who is launching a nudie magazine, and a squashed-down giant who believes he's a wizard. Failure will cost Whizzfiddle his guild membership, but success may land him in the Afterlife! Fortunately booze is his magical power source, so at least he'll be mentally befuddled during the entire ordeal. Book two: The Full Moon Event Paulie Vergen is a vampire living the daily grind of life until a fateful day when a newly infected Werewolf landed on his doorstep. All Paulie wanted was peace and quiet, but life didn't often seem to care about his plans. He's now faced with helping the poor werewolf navigate through the Underworld in order to find the help that he needs. Book three: Bob the Zombie Bob is a zombie who was just going about his business when a band of thieves stole his hand so that they could make a batch of Elfagra in the Upperworld. While it's bad enough that they've stolen Bob's hand for such a purpose, it comes to the Zombie's attention that if the bad guys use the wrong technique it could cause a cosmic rift that will spell the real death of Bob...not just the long, drawn out one that's part of being a Zombie. Book five: Gappy's Gadgets Gappy Whirligig is an industrious gnome who has yet to reach the Age of Tinkering. In a flash, Gappy's life flips upside down, leaving him to make the decision to either strike out on his own or become a 42-year-old foster child. Gappy demonstrates his industrious spirit as he leaves Hubintegler's rules and regulations behind and instead seeks to make his mark in the seedy town of Planoontik.
©2014, 2017 John P. Logsdon & Christopher P. Young (P)2017 Living Audio, C.I.C.
Twenty-four-year-old Phoebe Hawley is on a quest to find her family a home. On the road with two siblings, 12-year-old Maydean and five-year-old Willie-Boy, Phoebe is out of money, out of gas and out of patience. Now the only things she owns in abundance are Hawley backbone and Hawley pride - neither of which she can trade for food or gas. A collision with Gage Morgan puts Phoebe's mission in even worse jeopardy - until Phoebe discovers Gage Morgan owns the perfect place for the Hawley clan. But! Gage Morgan has a bruised ego, a tight fist on his land and an iron fist on his heart, and is the unlikeliest man in the universe to succumb to her schemes. Phoebe wields all of the pride, backbone, and country smarts she owns to claim his home, plow his land, and pilfer his heart. Nothing works. With time running against her family, she plies one last inducement - her scarce feminine wiles. Will it be enough?
©2013 Jackie Weger (P)2015 Jackie Weger
Emmy Award-winning actor Bryan Cranston (Breaking Bad, Malcom in the Middle) follows in the exasperated footsteps of Samuel L. Jackson, giving voice to the long-suffering father whose indifferent child will just not eat in this hilarious follow-up to Adam Mansbach's international best seller, Go the F--k to Sleep.Mansbach's long-awaited sequel is about that other great parental frustration: getting your little angel to eat something that even vaguely resembles a normal meal. Profane, loving, and deeply cathartic, You Have to F--king Eat breaks the code of child-rearing silence, giving moms and dads (new, old, grand-, and expectant) a much-needed chance to laugh about a universal problem.Anchored by a hilarious performance from Cranston, You Have to F--king Eat is the perfect blend of talented voice actor and subversive fun that expertly captures Mansbachs trademark humor. Due to its explicit language, you probably shouldn't play this one for your kids.
©2014 Adam Mansbach (P)2014 Audible Inc.
Putting the Grand Quest behind them, the party rides onward in search of answers. Between one member's unexpected new condition and the mysteries of the Bridge, their only hope appears to be gaining entrance to Lumal, said to hold the greatest collection of knowledge in all the kingdoms. But when a curious path appears in a seemingly uninhabited forest, the party finds themselves in a place set apart from the kingdoms, and the world at large: a hidden hamlet, filled by unusual people, all of whom have long histories of their own. Soon sealed inside the town by unseen forces, the former NPCs will have to uncover what brought them there - and who is keeping them trapped - while there's still time to fight back. Because something more is brewing, something involving the very gods themselves. With unknown enemies to the front and supposed allies at their rear, the party will need more than their usual tricks if they hope to see the outside world once more.
©2018 Andrew Hayes (P)2019 Tantor
By turns heartbreaking, hilarious, and utterly human, The House of God is a mesmerizing and provocative journey that takes us into the lives of Roy Basch and five of his fellow interns at the most renowned teaching hospital in the country. Young Dr. Basch and his irreverent confident, known only as the Fat Man, will learn not only how to be fine doctors but, eventually, good human beings. Samuel Shem has done what few in American medicine have dared to do---create an unvarnished, unglorified, and amazingly forthright portrait revealing the depth of caring, pain, pathos, and tragedy felt by all who spend their lives treating patients and stand at the crossroads between science and humanity. With over two million copies sold worldwide, The House of God has been hailed as one of the most important medical novels of the 20th century and compared to Sinclair Lewis's Arrowsmith for its poignant portrayal of the education of American doctors.
©1978 Stephen Bergman (P)2011 Tantor
Step into Jenny Slate's wild imagination in this "magical" (Mindy Kaling), "delicious" (Amy Sedaris), and "poignant" (John Mulaney) New York Times best seller about love, heartbreak, and being alive - "this book is something new and wonderful" (George Saunders). You may "know" Jenny Slate from her Netflix special, Stage Fright, as the creator of Marcel the Shell, or as the star of Obvious Child. But you don't really know Jenny Slate until you get bonked on the head by her absolutely singular writing style. To see the world through Jenny's eyes is to see it as though for the first time, shimmering with strangeness and possibility. As she will remind you, we live on an ancient ball that rotates around a bigger ball made up of lights and gasses that are science gasses, not farts (don't be immature). Heartbreak, confusion, and misogyny stalk this blue-green sphere, yes, but it is also a place of wild delight and unconstrained vitality, a place where we can start living as soon as we are born, and we can be born at any time. In her dazzling, impossible-to-categorize debut, Jenny channels the pain and beauty of life in writing so fresh, so new, and so burstingly alive, we catch her vision like a fever and bring it back out into the bright day with us, where everything has changed. One of Vanity Fair's Great Quarantine Reads
©2019 Jenny Slate (P)2019 Little, Brown & Company
The world will end on Saturday. Next Saturday. Just before dinner, according to The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch, the world's only completely accurate book of prophecies, written in 1655. The armies of Good and Evil are amassing and everything appears to be going according to Divine Plan. Except that a somewhat fussy angel and a fast-living demon are not actually looking forward to the coming Rapture. And someone seems to have misplaced the Antichrist. Put New York Times best-selling authors Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett together...and all Hell breaks loose.
©1990 Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett (P)2009 HarperCollins Publishers
From the author of the international mega-best-seller The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F*ck comes a counterintuitive guide to the problems of hope. We live in an interesting time. Materially, everything is the best its ever been - we are freer, healthier, and wealthier than any people in human history. Yet, somehow everything seems to be irreparably and horribly f*cked - the planet is warming, governments are failing, economies are collapsing, and everyone is perpetually offended on Twitter. At this moment in history, when we have access to technology, education, and communication our ancestors couldnt even dream of, so many of us come back to an overriding feeling of hopelessness. Whats going on? If anyone can put a name to our current malaise and help fix it, its Mark Manson. In 2016, Manson published The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F*ck, a book that brilliantly gave shape to the ever-present, low-level hum of anxiety that permeates modern living. He showed us that technology had made it too easy to care about the wrong things, that our culture had convinced us that the world owed us something when it didnt - and worst of all, that our modern and maddening urge to always find happiness only served to make us unhappier. Instead, the subtle art of that title turned out to be a bold challenge: to choose your struggle; to narrow and focus and find the pain you want to sustain. The result was a book that became an international phenomenon, selling millions of copies worldwide while becoming the number-one best seller in 13 different countries. Now, in Everthing Is F*cked, Manson turns his gaze from the inevitable flaws within each individual self to the endless calamities taking place in the world around us. Drawing from the pool of psychological research on these topics, as well as the timeless wisdom of philosophers such as Plato, Nietzsche, and Tom Waits, he dissects religion and politics and the uncomfortable ways they have come to resemble one another. He looks at our relationships with money, entertainment, and the internet, and how too much of a good thing can psychologically eat us alive. He openly defies our definitions of faith, happiness, freedom - and even of hope itself. With his usual mix of erudition and where-the-f*ck-did-that-come-from humor, Manson takes us by the collar and challenges us to be more honest with ourselves and connected with the world in ways we probably havent considered before. Its another counterintuitive romp through the pain in our hearts and the stress of our soul. One of the great modern writers has produced another book that will set the agenda for years to come. PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.
©2019 Mark Manson (P)2019 HarperCollins Publishers
A novel by the Governor Generals Literary Award-winning author of A Complicated Kindness
Lucy Van Alstyne always thought shed grow up to become a forest ranger. Instead, at the age of 18, shes found herself with quite a different job title: single mother on the dole. As for the father of her nine-month-old son, Dillinger, well...it could be any of number of guys.
At the Have-a-Life housing project - aptly nicknamed Half-a-Life by those who call it home - Lucy meets Lish, a zany and exuberant woman whose idea of fashion is a black beret with a big silver spider brooch stuck on it. Lish is the mother of four daughters, two by a man on welfare himself and twins from a one-week stand with a fire-eating busker who stole her heart - and her wallet.
Living on the dole isnt a walk in the park for Lucy and Lish. Dinner almost always consists of noodles. Transportation means pushing a crappy stroller through the rain. Then there are the condescending welfare agents with their dreaded surprise inspections. And just across the street is Serenity Place, another housing project with which Half-a-Life is engaged in a full-on feud. When the women arent busy snitching on each other, theyre spreading rumours - or plotting elaborate acts of revenge.
In the middle of a mosquito-infested rainy season, Lish and Lucy decide to escape the craziness of Half-a-Life by taking to the road. In a van held together with coat-hangers and electrical tape and crammed to the hilt with kids and toys, they set off to Colorado in search of Lishs lost love and the father of her twins. Whether theyll find him is questionable, but the down-and-out adventure helps Lucy realize that this just may be the summer of her amazing luck.
Miriam Toewss debut novel, Summer of My Amazing Luck opens our eyes to a social class rarely captured in fiction. At once hilarious and heartbreaking, it is inhabited by an unforgettable and poignant group of characters. Shortlisted for both the McNally Robinson Book of the Year Award and for the Stephen Leacock Memorial Medal for Humour, it also earned Miriam the John Hirsch Award for the Most Promising Manitoba Writer.
©2009 Miriam Toews (P)2018 Vintage Canada
New York City is on high alert: a gasoline truck is stuck in the Midtown tunnel and the driver has fled. Through panic and gridlock, Alex and Ruth must transport their beloved old dachshund, whose back legs are suddenly paralyzed, to the animal hospital, using a cutting board as a stretcher. But this is also the weekend when Alex and Ruth must sell the apartment in which they have lived for most of their adult lives. Over the course of 48 hours, as the mystery of the missing truck driver terrorizes the city and the dachshund's life hangs in the balance, the bidding war over their apartment becomes a barometer for collective hope and despair. Told in shifting points of view - Alex's, Ruth's, and the little dog's - Heroic Measures is a moving, deft novel about urban anxiety and the love that deepens over years.
©2010 Jill Ciment (P)2010 Audible, Inc.
The New York Times best-selling author of The Unhoneymooners returns with a witty and effervescent novel about what happens when two people with everything on the line are thrown together by science - or is it fate? Perfect for fans of The Rosie Project and One Plus One. Single mom Jess Davis is a data and statistics wizard, but no amount of number crunching can convince her to step back into the dating world. Raised by her grandparents - who now help raise her seven-year-old daughter, Juno - Jess has been left behind too often to feel comfortable letting anyone in. After all, her fathers never been around, her hard-partying mother disappeared when she was six, and her ex decided he wasnt father material before Juno was even born. Jess holds her loved ones close, but working constantly to stay afloat is hard...and lonely. But then Jess hears about GeneticAlly, a buzzy new DNA-based matchmaking company thats predicted to change dating forever. Finding a soul mate through DNA? The reliability of numbers: This Jess understands. At least she thought she did, until her test shows an unheard-of 98 percent compatibility with another subject in the database: GeneticAllys founder, Dr. River Peña. This is one number she cant wrap her head around, because she already knows Dr. Peña. The stuck-up, stubborn man is without a doubt not her soul mate. But GeneticAlly has a proposition: Get to know him and well pay you. Jess - who is barely making ends meet - is in no position to turn it down, despite her skepticism about the project and her dislike for River. As the pair are dragged from one event to the next as the Diamond pairing that could make GeneticAlly a mint in stock prices, Jess begins to realize that there might be more to the scientist - and the science behind a soul mate - than she thought. Funny, warm, and full of heart, The Soulmate Equation proves that the delicate balance between fate and choice can never be calculated.
©2021 Christina Lauren (P)2021 Simon & Schuster Audio
Célian Laurent. Manhattan royalty. Notorious playboy. Heir to a media empire...and my new boss. I could have impressed him, if not for last month's unforgettable one-night stand. I left it with more than orgasms and a pleasant memory - namely, his wallet. Now he's staring me down like I'm the dirt under his Italian loafers, and I'm supposed to take it. But the thing about being Judith "Jude" Humphry is I have nothing to lose. Brooklyn girl. Infamously quirky. Heir to a stack of medical bills and a tattered couch. When he looks at me from across the room, I see the glint in his eyes, and that makes us rivals. He knows it. So do I. Every day in the newsroom is a battle. Every night in his bed, war. But it's my heart at stake, and I fear I'll be raising the white flag.
©2018 L.J. Shen (P)2018 Audible, Inc.
It started with a kiss. Then it became so much more. Love at first sight. Avery Connor doesn't believe in it. But what about love at first kiss? A favor for a friend. Kiss a stranger and walk away. But what if that favor, and that stranger, prove to be the turning point of her life? What if that kiss leads to something more? Dr. Daniel Stewart is certain it will. He is determined to make her see him. To feel what he feels. To have the effects of that kiss last forever. Contains mature themes.
©2017 Melanie Moreland (P)2017 Tantor
A feel-good romantic comedy with a twist that will make you gasp! Holly Hart has been married for 15 blissful years to hubby Alex. Well
if you don't count last Christmas, when she accidentally found a load of sexy texts on Alex's phone. But every marriage has its ups and downs, and Alex had a perfectly reasonable explanation
so why can't Holly forget what she saw? With the help of best friends Jeanie and Caro, as well as their handsome neighbour Jack, Holly resolves to settle her mind once and for all with a bit of sneaky detective work. So what if her husband isn't exactly Brad Pitt? He's hers, and if someone else is trying to steal him she wants to know who.... But the truth is way more shocking than Holly ever anticipated. Can Holly, let alone her marriage, ever recover from what she discovers? A gorgeous romantic comedy from the best-selling author of Stockings and Cellulite. Perfect for fans of Tracy Bloom, Sophie Kinsella and Marian Keyes.
©2018 Debbie Viggiano (P)2019 Audible, Ltd
The Sirens of Titan is an outrageous romp through space, time, and morality. The richest, most depraved man on Earth, Malachi Constant, is offered a chance to take a space journey to distant worlds with a beautiful woman at his side. Of course there's a catch to the invitation and a prophetic vision about the purpose of human life that only Vonnegut has the courage to tell. As an added bonus, when you purchase our Audible Modern Vanguard production of Kurt Vonnegut's book, you'll also receive an exclusive Jim Atlas interview. This interview where James Atlas interviews Gay Talese about the life and work of Kurt Vonnegut begins as soon as the audiobook ends.
©1959 Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. (P)2008 Audible, Inc.
The laugh-out-loud Sunday Times best seller is back and funnier than ever! Perfect for fans of Why Mummy Drinks. When her 18-year-old twins leave for university, single mum Nadias life changes in ways she never expected: her Glasgow flat feels suddenly huge, laundry doesnt take up half her week, and she no longer has to buy the Big Milk. After almost two decades of putting everyone else first, Nadia is finally taking care of herself. And with a budding romance with new boyfriend Jack, shes never felt more alive. That is until her son, Alfie, drops out of university, and Nadia finds her empty nest is empty no more. With a heartbroken teenager to contend with, Nadia has to ask herself: is it ever possible for a mother to get her own life back? And can Jack and Nadias relationship survive having a sulky teenager around? A gloriously funny and uplifting audiobook perfect for fans of Gill Sims and Jill Mansell.
©2018 Fiona Gibson (P)2018 HarperCollins Publishers
Fleeing from a vengeful king has sent the former NPCs across Solium's borders, into the kingdom of Alcatham. As wanted fugitives, they head to the small farming village of Briarwillow, hoping to blend in, lay low, and avoid trouble at all costs. Unfortunately, Briarwillow has problems all its own, and its troubles quickly become theirs. If they hope to survive long enough to escape, they'll have to tackle an all-but-forgotten mystery buried at the town's border as well as seek the wisdom of a mysterious group of mages. With time, magic, and at least one god against them, it will take everything they've got to save Briarwillow - and themselves.
©2015 Andrew Hayes (P)2015 Tantor
"Patrick blends romance, mystery, and quirkiness to highly entertaining effect." (Booklist) "A wonderfully hope-filled story." (Sarah Haywood, New York Times best-selling author of The Cactus) A single father gets an unexpected second chance at love in the heartwarming new novel from the author of The Curious Charms of Arthur Pepper. It's summer in the city, and passions are soaring along with the temperature - for everyone but Mitchell Fisher, who hates all things romance. He relishes his job cutting off the padlocks that couples fasten to the famous "love story" bridge. Only his young daughter, Poppy, knows that behind his prickly veneer, Mitchell still grieves the loss of her mother. Then one hot day, everything changes when Mitchell courageously rescues a woman who falls from the bridge into the river. He's surprised to feel an unexpected connection to her, but she disappears before he can ask her name. Desperate to find out her identity, Mitchell is shocked to learn she's been missing for almost a year. He teams up with her spirited sister, Liza, on a quest to find her again. However, she's left only one clue behind - a message on the padlock she hung on the bridge. Brimming with Phaedra Patrick's signature charm and a sparkling cast of characters, The Secrets of Love Story Bridge follows one man's journey to unlock his heart and discover new beginnings in the unlikeliest places.
©2020 Phaedra Patrick (P)2020 Harlequin Enterprises, Limited
At 47, Gil is the world's oldest 22-year-old man. He lives rent-free as a handyman in the L.A. summer house of a couple of rich retirees who only come out for vacations. Gruff, shrewdly observant, but perplexed and beleaguered by women since his nasty divorce, Gil has been dating Sara, an animal communicator, long enough to converse freely with all four of his dogs (especially Jimmy, the alpha). When Jimmy learns Gil isn't his biological father, he demands to meet his birth mother, a dog owned by Gil's sexy ex-wife, Eden, now remarried to a much wealthier man. Then Gil's employers take their vacation, forcing him to relocate and setting in motion an odyssey that ultimately shines a light on the root of Gil's problems with women and adulthood by forcing him to move in with his mother.Filled with the sharp social and sexual insight - and an uncanny understanding of the thought processes of dogs - that have become Merrill Markoe's trademarks, Nose Down, Eyes Up is a howlingly funny story of love, sex, and the meaning of family.
©2009 Merrill Markoe (P)2009 Tantor
The war is in full swing. Following the unprecedented outcome of the siege at Fort Yimin, both the Republic and the Empire are forced to drastically reevaluate their plans for the conflict. With matters on the western front more or less settled for the moment, the warring nations turn their attention toward the eastern theatre. Winter looms on the horizon, threatening to deadlock the region and put a temporary halt to hostilities. With both sides planning to deploy bold and unconventional strategies on top of committing vast resources, its anyones guess which of them will come out on top. Indeed, neither government is shying away from resorting to underhanded, questionable, or downright amoral means. The Gilded Hand has been stepping up their efforts to further Spymaster Edward Allens schemes. The Empires intelligence agency is also looking to field its most powerful enforcers in the coming battles. The Republics Foreign Intelligence Bureau is having a hard time keeping up, but they are not without their own dirty tricks. Rumors within the royal palace of the Horkensaft Kingdom to the east suggest that the dwarves and gnomes are on the verge of aiding the elven nation. Something that wouldnt have been made possible without the Republics deep coffers, and the less-than-reputable individuals that fill them. Boxxy T. Morningwood isnt one of those shady contributors. If anything, its been steadily draining the governments resources as it forces them to pay exorbitant fees to resolve issues that the monster itself creates. A trend it plans to keep following for as long as it can lie, cheat, and murder its way through life. Which, barring something ridiculous like divine intervention, is poised to be a very long time indeed. Content warning: Profanity, gore, violence, explicit adult content.
©2020 Neven Iliev (P)2021 Soundbooth Theater
A gargantuan, mind-altering comedy about the Pursuit of Happiness in America set in an addicts' halfway house and a tennis academy, and featuring the most endearingly screwed-up family to come along in recent fiction, Infinite Jest explores essential questions about what entertainment is and why it has come to so dominate our lives; about how our desire for entertainment affects our need to connect with other people; and about what the pleasures we choose say about who we are. Equal parts philosophical quest and screwball comedy, Infinite Jest bends every rule of fiction without sacrificing for a moment its own entertainment value. It is an exuberant, uniquely American exploration of the passions that make us human - and one of those rare books that renew the idea of what a novel can do. Please note: When you purchase this title, the accompanying reference material, including endnotes, will be available in your My Library section along with the audio. A Note from Hachette Audio We are deeply honored to be the audio publisher of David Foster Wallace's works, and are keenly aware of the great responsibility that attends the privilege. We felt that it was important to make Infinite Jest accessible in the audio format as soon as we were able, and are gratified to find that there is an audience that has been waiting for just this occasion. Some early listeners have been disappointed that the novel's endnotes are currently available only in text form, to be read. Choosing to include the endnotes as a downloadable PDF file, rather than as a recording by the narrator, was a difficult decision for all involved, and we debated different options at length before beginning production. The audio format allows us great opportunities to showcase Wallace's love of language and grammatical dexterity, to illuminate characters and their relationships, and to bring out some of the unique humor inherent in his work. However, there are also certain limitations to the format, and we needed let go of some of our preconceived notions about the form of Infinite Jest, as we must when we adapt any complex work to audio. The compromise we ended up with was heavily influenced by practical concerns, especially those regarding the limitations of current technology. Because some of the endnotes are pages-long digressions, if we had them read in line with the main narrative, we would have run the risk of making the already complex story unfollowable for listeners. In the end, we decided the audiobook would flow best by having the endnotes indicated by number throughout the narrative by an additional narrator. However, we acknowledge that these choices may not work for all listeners. Accordingly, our future plans are to produce the endnotes as an additional, stand-alone audio piece. PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying reference material will be available in your My Library section along with the audio.
©2006 David Foster Wallace (P)2012 Hachette
The bold and boundlessly original debut novel from the Oscar®-winning screenwriter of Being John Malkovich, Adaptation, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, and Synecdoche, New York. Long-listed for The Center for Fiction First Novel Prize A dyspeptic satire that owes much to Kurt Vonnegut and Thomas Pynchon...propelled by Kaufmans deep imagination, considerable writing ability and bulls-eye wit." (The Washington Post) An astonishing creation...riotously funny...an exceptionally good [book]. (The New York Times Book Review) Kaufman is a master of language...a sight to behold. (NPR) Named One of the Best Books of the Year by NPR and Men's Health B. Rosenberger Rosenberg, neurotic and underappreciated film critic (failed academic, filmmaker, paramour, shoe salesman who sleeps in a sock drawer), stumbles upon a hitherto unseen film made by an enigmatic outsider - a film hes convinced will change his career trajectory and rock the world of cinema to its core. His hands on what is possibly the greatest movie ever made - a three-month-long stop-motion masterpiece that took its reclusive auteur 90 years to complete - B. knows that it is his mission to show it to the rest of humanity. The only problem: The film is destroyed, leaving him the sole witness to its inadvertently ephemeral genius. All thats left of this work of art is a single frame from which B. must somehow attempt to recall the film that just might be the last great hope of civilization. Thus begins a mind-boggling journey through the hilarious nightmarescape of a psyche as lushly Kafkaesque as it is atrophied by the relentless spew of Twitter. Desperate to impose order on an increasingly nonsensical existence, trapped in a self-imposed prison of aspirational victimhood and degeneratively inclusive language, B. scrambles to re-create the lost masterwork while attempting to keep pace with an ever-fracturing culture of likes and arbitrary denunciations that are simultaneously his bête noire and his raison dêtre. A searing indictment of the modern world, Antkind is a richly layered meditation on art, time, memory, identity, comedy, and the very nature of existence itself - the grain of truth at the heart of every joke.
©2020 Charlie Kaufman (P)2020 Random House Audio
Willkommen in QualityLand! In der Zukunft ist alles durch Algorithmen optimiert: QualityPartner weiß, wer am besten zu dir passt. Das selbstfahrende Auto weiß, wo du hinwillst. Und wer bei TheShop angemeldet ist, bekommt alle Produkte, die er bewusst oder unbewusst haben will, automatisch zugeschickt. Kein Mensch ist mehr gezwungen, schwierige Entscheidungen zu treffen - denn in QualityLand lautet die Antwort auf alle Fragen: o.k. Trotzdem beschleicht den Maschinenverschrotter Peter immer mehr das Gefühl, dass mit dem System etwas nicht stimmt. Warum gibt es Drohnen, die an Flugangst leiden, oder Kampfroboter mit posttraumatischer Belastungsstörung? Warum werden die Maschinen immer menschlicher, aber die Menschen immer maschineller? Marc-Uwe Kling hat die Verheißungen und das Unbehagen der digitalen Gegenwart zu einer verblüffenden Zukunftssatire verdichtet. Visionär, hintergründig - und so komisch wie die Känguru-Trilogie. Die dunkle und helle Ausgabe unterscheiden sich durch Empfehlungen/Nachrichten/Werbung, die zwischen den Kapiteln eingefügt sind und jeweils ein anderes Weltbild zeichnen. Hörer der dunklen Edition finden hier den Newsfeed der hellen Edition: qualityland.de/hell. Hörer der hellen Edition finden hier den Newsfeed der dunklen Edition: qualityland.de/dunkel Bitte beachten Sie, dass die Newsfeeds erst nach Veröffentlichung der beiden Editionen verfügbar sind.
©2017 Marc-Uwe Kling, Potsdam / Hörbuch Hamburg HHV GmbH, Hamburg (P)2017 Hörbuch Hamburg HHV GmbH, Hamburg
Winner of the 2019-20 First Nation Communities READ Indigenous Literature Award An unexpected journey can be powerful medicine. When Tilly receives an invitation to help drive eight elders on their ultimate bucket list road trip to Albuquerque, New Mexico, for the Gathering of Nations Pow Wow, she impulsively says yes. Before she knows it, Tilly has said goodbye to her family and is behind the wheel - ready to embark on an adventure that will transform her in ways she could not predict, just as it will for each and every one of the seniors on the trip, who soon dub themselves the Crazy Eights. Tilly and the Crazy Eights each choose a stop to make along the way - somewhere theyve always wanted to go or something theyve wanted to experience. This takes them on a route to Las Vegas and Sedona, with a final goal of reaching the Redwood Forest. Each stop becomes the inspiration for secrets and stories to be revealed. The trip proves to be powerful medicine as they laugh, heal, argue, and reveal hopes and dreams along the way. With friendships forged, love found, hearts broken and mended, Tilly and the Crazy Eights feel ready for anything by the time their bus rolls to a stop in New Mexico. But are they? Bespeak Audio Editions brings Canadian voices to the world with audiobook editions of some of the countrys greatest works of literature, performed by Canadian actors.
©2018 Monique Gray Smith (P)2020 Bespeak Audio Editions
Witty, occasionally crass, and an unqualified delight. (Kirkus Reviews) Is it too much to ask that a managed care facility refund a years advance payment when your grandfather dies before he can move in? Frank Johnson doesnt think so, which is why the 33-year-old now lives in a nursing home, locked in a chess-match feud with management that doesnt occupy nearly enough of his time. When foster kid Elroy is thrust into his life, Frank decides to turn this forced relationship to his advantage - launching a string of absurd decisions, inappropriate behaviors, and unexpected glimpses of tenderness that ultimately turn a New Jersey suburb upside down. A laugh-out-loud celebration of bad choices for good causes, Managed Care is an offbeat story about three misfits on the social fringes of suburbia and their ridiculous campaign to introduce an unfiltered version of intimacy to their stale, impersonal community. Because, according to Frank, its probably what Jesus would have wanted.
©2018 Black Rose Writing (P)2018 Beacon Audiobooks
From Southport to the South of France - this is going to be a summer to remember! Life just got a whole lot more complicated for 38-year-old single mum Liv. Her son, Jake, is practically perfect in every way, but hes started asking some difficult questions, and the answers lie in a holiday romance 20 years ago. Back when Liv was staying with her aunt on the French Riviera.... Returning to the Cote dAzur, with its white sandy beaches, her supportive aunt, and exquisite wine and cheese is harder than it sounds, though. Because - if shes going to give Jake the answers he needs - Liv knows she has to hunt down her first love, Andre. And since shes a professional baker rather than a professional investigator, she doesnt even have a clue where to start. At first, finding the one that got away proves even trickier than she thought. And if she succeeds, how will he take the bombshell secret Liv has been keeping? Liv has to do the best thing for her family, but does that mean closing the door on this very French affair? A joyful, laugh-out-loud story about second chances, secrets and sunshine! The perfect summer listen for fans of Carole Matthews, Jenny Colgan and Sophie Kinsella.
©2019 Sue Roberts (P)2020 Audible, Ltd
Remember that time you accidentally sexted your in-laws? Yeah. I just did that. Except worse. Now my million social media followers are reading and sharing the rude, smartass message I meant to send privately to my little sister...and I'm officially public enemy number one. I'm Beck Ryder. Former boy bander. Underwear model. Fashion mogul. And I just buried my entire leg in my mouth - not just my foot - modern internet style, and publicly insulted my sister's neighbor. Sarah Dempsey. Also known as the woman of my dreams, who loves geeky TV shows, baseball, and giraffes, who's just as turned on by food as I am, and who has a huge secret that I didn't see coming. Now it's time to grovel and apologize publicly on social media and hope that those same followers who helped start the raging shitstorm will help calm the waters. Because Sarah doesn't want the spotlight. For very good reasons that I can't tell you right now and trying to convince her to be my fake girlfriend to fix this mess and make me look like less of a jackass is worse than taking a kick to the nuts by Jackie Chan. And I thought modeling underwear made me feel naked. Trying to start a relationship in the era of the twitterazzi isn't all that it's cracked up to be. America's Geekheart is a rockin' fun romantic comedy featuring a billionaire fashion mogul who got his start modeling underwear, the geeky girl next door with a secret the size of California, and more superstitions and secrets than you can shake a baseball bat at. It stands alone with no cheating or cliffhangers.
©2019 Pippa Grant (P)2019 Pippa Grant
It is an April day in the year 2000 and an era is about to end, those booming times of market optimism when the culture boiled with money and corporations seemed more vital and influential than governments. Eric Packer, a billionaire asset manager at age 28, emerges from his penthouse triplex and settles into his lavishly customized white stretch limousine. On this day he is a man with two missions: to pursue a cataclysmic bet against the yen and to get a haircut across town. His journey to the barbershop is a contemporary odyssey, funny and fast-moving. Stalled in traffic by a presidential motorcade, a music idol's funeral, and a violent political demonstration, Eric receives a string of visitors - his experts on security, technology, currency, finance, and theory. Sometimes he leaves the car for sexual encounters and sometimes he doesn't have to. Cosmopolis, Don DeLillo's 13th novel, is both intimate and global, a vivid and moving account of a spectacular downfall.
©2003 Don DeLillo (P)2003 Simon & Schuster, Inc. AUDIOWORKS is an imprint of Simon & Schuster Audio Division, Simon & Schuster, Inc.
The third opus in the illustrious life of St. James St. James Romance Novels for Dudes collection sees him fighting prohibition in the 1920s all the way through his flyboy days in WWII. If you don't have an erection, he'll give you one. I mean, you'll have to pay for this sh*t... but you'll get one. That's a Men's Wearhouse type of guarantee too, homeboy. Did that guy die btw? (#thoughtsandprayers if he did)
©2020 Ross Patterson (P)2020 Ross Patterson
Tout ce qui nous donne le cafard et les moyens d'en sortir. "Cadrons notre sujet. Un garçon de café mal aimable servant trop tard des plats refroidis dans un établissement bondé qui sent le tabac, ça agace. Une serveuse dépressive qui passe trop lentement la serpillière dans un café vide qui sent l'eau de Javel, ça fout le cafard. Passer deux heures dans une soirée sélecte avant de s'apercevoir qu'on a la braguette ouverte, c'est un grand moment de solitude. Avoir revêtu son plus beau costume pour se retrouver coincé avec trois personnes entre une assiette en papier pleine de chips molles et un gobelet en plastique de mauvaise sangria dans une soirée minable, ça fout le cafard. La faim dans le monde, c'est indigne. Un frigo vide où trône une demi golden oxydée appuyée contre un bout de gruyère moisi, c'est le cafard. Voilà le livre. Il est dédié au chien qui boîte, au vieux sparadrap qui flotte sur une eau sale, aux zones pavillonnaires une après-midi de semaine, au dimanche en général, à tout ce qui, de façon universelle et assurée, nous colle le bourdon."
© Nil Editions, Paris, 2006© Audio Direct
A madcap adventure...Adamss writing teeters on the fringe of inspired lunacy. (United Press International) Back on Earth with nothing more to show for his long, strange trip through time and space than a ratty towel and a plastic shopping bag, Arthur Dent is ready to believe that the past eight years were all just a figment of his stressed-out imagination. But a gift-wrapped fishbowl with a cryptic inscription, the mysterious disappearance of Earth's dolphins, and the discovery of his battered copy of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy all conspire to give Arthur the sneaking suspicion that something otherworldly is indeed going on. God only knows what it all means. Fortunately, He left behind a Final Message of explanation. But since it's light-years away from Earth, on a star surrounded by souvenir booths, finding out what it is will mean hitching a ride to the far reaches of space aboard a UFO with a giant robot. But what else is new? The most ridiculously exaggerated situation comedy known to created beings.... Adams is irresistible. (The Boston Globe)
©2006 Douglas Adams (P)2006 Random House, Inc.
Shes single. But it can still be complicated.... Penny Bridge has always been unlucky in love. So she cant believe it when she meets a remarkable new man. Followed by another. And then another.... And all of them want to date her. Penny has to choose between three. But are any of them 'The One'? The best-selling author of Our Stop will have you laughing, crying and cheering Penny on in this funny and feel-good exploration of hope, romance and the trust it takes to finally fall in love. Perfect for fans of Mhairi McFarlanes If I Never Met You and Beth OLearys The Flatshare.
©2020 Laura Jane Williams (P)2020 HarperCollins Publishers Limited
She cant let him score... Call it superstition, but when a guy bats as hot as Brooks Elliott, you dont mess with whats working. And whats working is him keeping his pants zipped and doing all of his scoring on the field. So when I hear hes planning to ditch his V-card now that hes been traded to baseballs lovable losers - a.k.a. my home team and my reason for living every March through October - I do what any rational, dedicated, obsessed fan would do. I make a plan to stop him. But the thing about stopping him is that it requires spending time with him. Lots. And lots. And lots of time. And the more time I spend with him, the more I like him. Not as the guy whos going to help save my favorite team and finally bring home a championship ring, but as the guy whos helping me in my quest to bring back the teams old mascot. Who also loves making pancake and bacon sandwiches. And who would do almost anything for his love of the game. But after all this time of jock blocking him
do I even have a chance? And if I do, are we both destined to a life of celibacy in the name of winning? Jock Blocked is a home run of a feel-good romantic comedy featuring the worlds most superstitious sports fan, baseballs oldest virgin hero, a rogue meatball, an adorable puppy with a cussing problem, and the best lovable losers. It stands alone and comes with a happily ever after more satisfying than a game-winning grand slam.
©2020 Pippa Grant (P)2020 Pippa Grant
A Globe and Mail Best Book of 2018 Eight months before he became a suicide bomber, Prin went to the zoo with his family. Following a cancer diagnosis, 40-year old Prin vows to become a better man and a better Catholic. Hes going to spend more time with his kids and better time with his wife, care for his recently divorced and aging parents, and also expand his cutting-edge research into the symbolism of the seahorse in Canadian literature. But when his historic college in downtown Toronto faces a shutdown and he meets with the condominium developers ready to take it over - including a foul-mouthed young Chinese entrepreneur and Wende, his sexy ex-girlfriend from graduate school - Prin hears the voice of God. Bewildered and divinely inspired, he goes to the Middle East, hoping to save both his college and his soul. Wende is coming, too. The first book in a planned trilogy, Original Prin is an entertaining and essential novel about family life, faith, temptation, and fanaticism. Its a timely story about timeless truths, told with wise insight and great humour, confirming Randy Boyagodas place as one of Canadas funniest and most provocative writers.
©2018 Randy Boyagoda (P)2019 Audible, Inc.
Christopher Moore, much beloved scrivener and peerless literary jester, now takes on no less than the legendary Bard himself (with the utmost humility and respect) with a twisted and insanely funny tale of a moronic monarch and his deceitful daughters, as seen through the eyes of a man wearing a codpiece and bells on his head. Pocket has been Lear's cherished fool for years. So naturally Pocket is at his brainless, elderly liege's side when Lear demands that his kids swear to him their undying love and devotion. Of course Goneril and Regan are only too happy to brownnose Dad. But Cordelia believes that her father's request is kind of...well...stupid, and her blunt honesty ends up costing her her rightful share of the kingdom and earns her a banishment to boot. Well now the bangers and mash have really hit the fan. And the only person who can possibly make things right . . . is Pocket. Now he's going to have do some very fancy maneuvering: cast some spells, start a war or two - the usual stuff - to get Cordelia back into Daddy Lear's good graces, to derail the fiendish power plays of Cordelia's twisted sisters, and to shag every lusciously shaggable wench who's amenable to shagging along the way. Pocket may be a fool...but he's definitely not an idiot.
©2009 Christopher Moore (P)2009 HarperCollins Publishers
A.M. Homes is acclaimed for her unnerving looks at suburban life in such searing works as The Safety of Objects, Jack, and Music for Torching. May We Be Forgiven, a darkly comic novel of 21st-century domestic life, stars Harold Silver, a historian who's always been jealous of his successful brother, George. But when the hot-tempered George is institutionalized for committing a violent act, Harold finds himself comforting his brother's wife and children. What follows is a scathing examination of a family so fractured it may never be whole again.
©2012 A.M. Holmes (P)2012 Recorded Books
After discovering just how filled with magic, intrigue, and adventure the parahuman world of being an undead American can be, Fredrick Frankford Fletcher did exactly what was expected - he became a certified parahuman accountant. Myths and legends, as it turns out, are not so great at taking appropriate deductions and keeping their receipts, and Fred is more than happy to return to a life others view as woefully dull, expanding his accounting business to cater to various monsters and their respective financial needs. Said monsters are, unfortunately, still spectacular at pulling Fred into trouble, though. And despite merely wanting to stick with simple paperwork, Fred once again finds that he is going to have to deal with enchanted weaponry, government agents, possessed houses, and one enigmatic dragon's interest. In the parahuman world, any business can turn deadly, even one as mundane as accounting.
©2015 Drew Hayes (P)2015 Tantor
Maybe its the end of the world, but not for Candace Chen, a millennial, first-generation American and office drone meandering her way into adulthood in Ling Mas offbeat, wryly funny, apocalyptic satire, Severance. Candace Chen, a millennial drone self-sequestered in a Manhattan office tower, is devoted to routine. With the recent passing of her Chinese immigrant parents, shes had her fill of uncertainty. Shes content just to carry on: She goes to work, troubleshoots the teen-targeted Gemstone Bible, watches movies in a Greenpoint basement with her boyfriend. So Candace barely notices when a plague of biblical proportions sweeps New York. Then Shen Fever spreads. Families flee. Companies cease operations. The subways screech to a halt. Her bosses enlist her as part of a dwindling skeleton crew with a big end-date payoff. Soon entirely alone, still unfevered, she photographs the eerie, abandoned city as the anonymous blogger NY Ghost. Candace wont be able to make it on her own forever, though. Enter a group of survivors, led by the power-hungry IT tech Bob. Theyre traveling to a place called the Facility, where, Bob promises, they will have everything they need to start society anew. But Candace is carrying a secret she knows Bob will exploit. Should she escape from her rescuers? A send-up and takedown of the rituals, routines, and missed opportunities of contemporary life, Ling Mas Severance is a moving family story, a quirky coming-of-adulthood tale, and a hilarious, deadpan satire. Most important, its a heartfelt tribute to the connections that drive us to do more than survive.
©2018 Ling Ma (P)2018 Macmillan Audio
Ils ont trois jours à San Francisco. Trois jours pour écrire leur histoire. Que feriez-vous si un fantôme débarquait dans votre vie et vous demandait de l'aider à réaliser son vu le plus cher ? Seriez-vous prêt à partir avec lui en avion à l'autre bout du monde ? Au risque de passer pour un fou ? Et si ce fantôme était celui de votre père ? Thomas, pianiste virtuose, est entraîné dans une aventure fabuleuse : une promesse, un voyage pour rattraper le temps perdu, et une rencontre inattendue... Digne des plus belles histoires de Capra et de Billy Wilder, Ghost in Love donne envie de croire au merveilleux. Avec un entretien exclusif de l'auteur.
©2019 Versilio (P)2019 Lizzie, un département d'Univers Poche, Paris
What happens when an ex-CEO, frustrated with the corruption in the American financial system, hijacks his 12-year-old daughters blog to try and change things from the bottom up? In the wake of the 2008 financial crisis, Jack Sullivan, former CEO and current stay-at-home dad, struggles to find an outlet for his frustrations with the unfair financial systems of corporate America. Meanwhile, Daisy, his precocious 12-year-old daughter, has recently garnered a substantial following for her new blog, documenting surreptitious social experiments performed on her unaware family. When Daisys blogging activities are outed, Jack decides to leverage his daughters popularity with American youth to communicate the greed and hypocrisy inherent in the corporate professions of many parents. Inspired by her fathers rants, the popularity of Daisys blog soars, resulting in an unlikely sequence of events that ultimately has a very positive impact on way that people treat each other in American society. From the author of Managed Care, the Maxy Book Awards 2019 Book of the Year.
©2019 Black Rose Writing (P)2019 Beacon Audiobooks
Joseph Levy leads a quiet life in rural Wheaton, Arizona. Retired from a long career in psychiatric research and practice, he reads, writes, and wanders through the mountains and hills near the Native reservation. His quiet life ends, however, when a dental crown replacement goes poorly just before meeting an internet date in California. Thus begins a year of back-to-back nightmare infections, a drug overdose, and two failed relationships. At every step, Levy is confronted by matters of life and death, love and hate, faith and doubt, trust and betrayal. Most of all, he faces what it means to be sick and to be healthy. He prays to his God, relies on his friends, examines his dreams, and entrusts his psyche to a new therapist. Joseph Levy Escapes Death is a tale of medical comedic horror and perseverance in the face of relentless adversity. This is the first novel by psychiatrist Rick Strassman - author of the best-selling DMT: The Spirit Molecule and co-producer of the hugely popular independent documentary by the same name. Here, he paints his protagonists journey with a wide palette: medical, psychoanalytic, and religious - Jewish and Buddhist. Enlightening detours include discussions of love in the time of internet dating, cardiovascular physiology and microbiology, the Holocaust and Jewish-Christian relations, and the psychotherapeutic process. Reactions to Joseph Levy are rarely neutral, and vary according to a persons own psyche. Reviewers compare Strassmans first novel to works by Kafka, Philip Roth, JD Sallinger, John Irving (Cider House Rule, The World According to Garp), and Joseph Heller (Catch-22).
©2019 Rick J. Strassman (P)2020 Rick J. Strassman
The Hungry Dragon Cookie Company - it sounds crazy, but it might just be Timmys ticket to financial security and a fully renovated castle. To earn a pardon and avoid prison or execution, Timmy, Grand Necromancer and Lord of Black Tower Castle, has been completing missions for the Council with the help of an elite team of truly heroic individuals. Theres Katie, his apprentice. Shes brilliant, cunning, and maniacally devious. Shes also 10 years old, extremely adorable, and loves billowy robes and the color pink. Theres Avraniel, the pyromaniac elf who is responsible for more property damage than anyone in Evertons history (including dragons, natural disasters, and demon gods). Theres Gerald, the hyperventilating bureaucrat who is at the top of every monsters menu. Theres Old Man, a retired legendary swordsman whose hobbies include bonsai trees, fishing, and the occasional duel to the death. Theres Amanda, ancient vampire and sophisticate who knows all about the Councils founding because she was there when it happened. And then theres Spot. Hes cute, cuddly, and friendly. He loves tug-of-war and fetch. Hes also a fire-breathing dragon who can devour an entire cow in about thirty seconds. The Hungry Dragon Cookie Company is a collection of 14 short stories that take place before, during, and after the first three parts of The Unconventional Heroes Series. Each story hopes to answer important questions like: How does a company involving cookies and dragons even work? How did a trans-dimensional, protoplasmic horror and a Grand Necromancer become friends, and how did that horror develop an addiction to cake? How does an ancient vampire acquire the comely, young virgins she needs to maintain proper vampiric health without looking like a total weirdo? Answers to all of these questions and more will be revealed. With unconventional heroes like Timmy and the gang around, life is never boring.
©2018 L. G. Estrella (P)2020 Podium Audio
Holiday Greetings from Sugar and Booze is a music-filled holiday comedy starring Ana Gasteyer and Maya Rudolph, with a jolly cast including Patti LuPone, Rachel Dratch, and Richard Kind. In this heartwarming story of love and friendship, we follow the journey of Sugar and Booze as they go from inseparable college buddies to busy working moms who mostly keep in touch with each other, and their close friends and family, through annual holiday letters. Pulled apart by distance and their hectic lives, their friendship nears a breaking point. That is until one December, when everything comes to a head at their annual holiday fete. Can their friendship survive the holidays? Holiday Greetings from Sugar and Booze features music from Ana Gasteyers album sugar & booze, available now at sugarandboozealbum.com.
©2019 The Broadway Video Group, Inc. (P)2019 The Broadway Video Group, Inc.
Das neue Werk von Kultautor Christopher Moore - very Noir San Francisco 1947: Es kommt nicht jeden Tag vor, dass eine rätselhafte, anmutige Blondine namens Stilton (ja, wie der Käse) in den verlotterten Laden kommt, in dem Sammy "Two Toes" Tiffin Gin ausschenkt. Es ist Liebe auf den ersten Blick. Aber bevor Sammy den ersten Schritt machen kann, betritt ein Air Force General mit einem eiligen Auftrag für ihn den Saloon. Doch Sammy hat eigentlich besseres zu tun: Er arbeitet an einer eigenen Geschäftsidee. Als aber an der Pazifikküste ein unbekanntes Flugobjekt gesichtet wird und Stilton plötzlich spurlos verschwindet, muss er sich seinen dunkelsten Geheimnissen stellen, um seinen Käse zu retten... >> Diese ungekürzte Hörbuch-Fassung genießt du digital exklusiv nur bei Audible.
©2018 Goldmann Verlag, München. Übersetzung von Jörn Ingwersen (P)2018 der Hörverlag
Mike Baron delivers a riotous, heartfelt, and ultimately uplifting story in Florida Man, brought to life by the inimitable R.C. Bray. Gary Dubas having a bad day. Theres a snake in his toilet, a rabid raccoon in the yard, and his girl Krystals in jail for getting naked at a Waffle House and licking the manager. Garys a redneck living in a trailer by the swamp. But hes got dreams, big dreams. Every time he tries to get ahead, fate deals him a low blow. But then he gets lucky... With his best friend, Floyd, Gary sets out to sell his prized Barry Bonds rookie card to raise the $500 needed for bail. But things always find a way of getting out of hand.
©2019 Mike Baron (P)2020 Podium Audio
Blind dates? Online dating profiles? Been there, done that. Georgia Cummings has zero luck with dating, and the era of the Internet is not her friend. No matter how fast she runs, how many corners she turns, she can't find her way out of this weird, alternate universe where men think dick pics are a replacement for small talk and getting to know a girl. One more crotch selfie and she might write men off for good. But why can't she stop fantasizing about him? Kline Brooks is the quintessential billionaire bad boy - dark, styled, short hair, muscles for days, and a panty-dropping smile. Except he isn't. As his employee, he won't touch her with a 10-foot pole. And she won't touch him either. Too bad their hormones missed the memo.
©2016 Max Monroe (P)2016 Tantor
The follow-up sequel to the best-selling What If? from Shari Low. Twenty years ago, Carly Cooper went on an epic quest to track down all the men shed ever loved and lost in the hope that one of them was her Mr Right. Now, two decades and two teenage sons later, she thinks she might have got it all wrong. As the years have passed, lots of things have changed, leaving Carly asking, What now? With a divorce and an empty nest on the horizon, Carly sets off once more to Los Angeles with her band of trusty girlfriends, to find the carefree, wild and adventurous Carly Cooper that she used to be. On this latest quest, Carly discovers a few home truths and has to decide If her marriage is worth saving or is there a new happy-ever-after out there, just waiting for her....
©2021 Shari Low (P)2021 Boldwood Books
There are three things you need to know about Fiona Archer...I would tell you what they are, but then I'd have to kill you. But I can tell you that Fiona's husband - the always irrepressible and often cantankerous Greg Archer - is desperately in love with his wife. He aches for her when they are apart, and is insatiable when they are together. Yet as the years pass, Greg has begun to suspect that Fiona is a ninja. A ninja mom. A ninja wife. A ninja friend. After 14 years of marriage, Greg is trying not to panic. Because Fiona's talent for blending in is starting to resemble fading away. However, when unexpected events mean Fiona must take center stage to keep her family safe, her response stuns everyone - Greg most of all. It seems like Greg's wish has come true. Except...not. When all is said and done, can Greg handle this new version of his wife? Will his irrepressible cantankerousness push her away? Or can the couple find a way forward without either being forced to step back into the shadows?
©2015, 2016 Penny Reid (P)2016 Penny Reid
For more than 50 years, legendary author Herman Wouk has dreamed of writing a novel about the life of Moses. Finally, at age 96, he has found an ingeniously witty way to tell the tale in The Lawgiver, a romantic and suspenseful epistolary novel about a group of people trying to make a movie about Moses in the present day. The story emerges from letters, memos, emails, journals, news articles, recorded talk, tweets, Skype transcripts, and text messages. At the center of The Lawgiver is Margo Solovei, a brilliant young writer-director who has rejected her rabbinical fathers strict Jewish upbringing to pursue a career in the arts. When an Australian multi-billionaire promises to finance a movie about Moses if the script meets certain standards, Margo does everything she can to land the job, including a reunion with her estranged first love, an influential lawyer with whom she still has unfinished business. Two other key characters in the novel are Herman Wouk himself and his wife of more than 60 years, Betty Sarah, who, almost against their will, find themselves entangled in the Moses movie when the Australian billionaire insists on Wouks stamp of approval. As Wouk and his characters contend with Moses and marriage, the force of tradition, rebellion, and reunion, The Lawgiver reflects the wisdom of a lifetime. Inspired by the great 19th-century novelists, one of Americas most beloved 20th-century authors has now written a remarkable 21st-century work of fiction.
©2012 Simon & Schuster Audio; 2012 Herman Wouk
"The city of San Francisco is being stalked by a huge, shaved vampyre cat named Chet, and only I, Abby Normal, emergency backup mistress of the Greater Bay Area night, and my manga-haired love monkey, Foo Dog, stand between the ravenous monster and a bloody massacre of the general public. Whoa. And this is a love story? Yup. "Cept theres no whining. See, while some lovers were born to run, Jody and Tommy were born to bite. Well, reborn, that is, now that they're vampires. Good thing theirs is an undying love, since their Goth Girl Friday, Abby Normal, imprisoned them in a bronze statue. Abby wants to be a blood sucking fiend, too, but right now shes really busy with other stuff, like breaking in a pair of red vinyl thigh-high Skankenstein® platform boots and wrangling her Ph.D.-candidate boyfriend, Steve (the love monkey). And then theres that vampire cat Chet, whos getting bigger and smarterand thirstierby the minute. Abby thought she and Steve could handle the kitty cat on their own, mais non." Before you can say OMG! WTF? Tommy and Jody are sprung from captivity, and join forces with Abby, Steve, the frozen-turkey-bowling Safeway crew, the Emperor of San Francisco and his trusty dogs Lazarus and Bummer, Abbys gay Goth friend Jared, and SFs finest Cavuto and Rivera to hunt big cat and save the city. And thats when the fun really begins.
©2010 Christopher Moore (P)2010 HarperCollins Publishers
From the author of Strange Weather in Tokyo comes this funny, heartwarming story about love, life, and human relationships that features a delightfully offbeat cast of characters. Objects for sale at the Nakano Thrift Shop appear as commonplace as the staff and customers that handle them. But like those same customers and staff, they hold many secrets. If examined carefully, they show the signs of innumerable extravagancies, of immeasurable pleasure and pain, and of the deep mysteries of the human heart. Hitomi, the inexperienced young woman who works the register at Mr. Nakano's thrift shop, has fallen for her coworker, the oddly reserved Takeo. Unsure of how to attract his attention, she seeks advice from her employer's sister, Masayo, whose sentimental entanglements make her a somewhat unconventional guide. But thanks in part to Masayo, Hitomi will come to realize that love, desire, and intimacy require acceptance not only of idiosyncrasies but also of the delicate waltz between open and hidden secrets. Animating each delicately rendered chapter in Kawakami's playful novel is Mr. Nakano himself, an original, entertaining, and enigmatic creation whose compulsive mannerisms, secretive love life, and impulsive behavior defy all expectations.
©2005 Hiromi Kawakami (P)2018 Audible, Inc.
Samantha Dugan and Abe Lally are best friends. They steal kidneys. They have their reasons. Samantha is a professional seductress and con artist with a heart of gold. If she talked about her work, shed tell you she only pilfers organs for medical research and that she only takes one kidney, and she only steals those kidneys from dishonest people. Its hell on her social life. Abe is the doctor and Sam's partner in crime. He isnt much of a criminal. Except for the kidney stealing. But hes using that money to fund his research that he anticipates will be able to cure diabetes. So, all for a good cause...? You decide. Of course, it's hell on his social life. Cut and Run was performed by Meg Ryan, DArcy Carden, Sam Richardson, Rachel Bloom, Thomas Lennon, Ed Begley Jr, Eugene Cordero, Baron Vaughn, Carlos Alazraqui, Arturo del Puerto, Dustin Ybarra, Aaron Abrams, Ginger Gonzaga, Greg Santos, Oscar Montoya, Roberta Valderrama, and Shulie Cowen. Dynamite Lady, an original song, was written and performed by Aimee Mann and Ted Leo. Cut and Run was written and co-produced by Ben Acker and Ben Blacker Director - Alexandra Barreto Executive Producer - Morgan Jones Audio Editing and Sound Design team - Tyler Dorson, Marc Atkinson, Emma Burlingame, Matt Beagle, and Jake Young Recorded at Marc Graue Studios
©2020 Audible Originals, LLC (P)2020 Audible Originals, LLC.
Imaginez : un homme vous sauve la vie, en échange de votre engagement de faire tout ce qu'il vous demande... pour votre bien. Le dos au mur, vous acceptez et vous vous retrouvez embarqué dans une incroyable situation où tout semble vous échapper. Vous n'êtes plus le maître de votre vie et pourtant... à bien des égards, elle est plus excitante qu'auparavant ! Mais, peu à peu, le doute s'installe en vous : quelles sont les intentions réelles de cet homme ? Qui est-il vraiment ? Et qui sont les personnages énigmatiques de son entourage ? Les découvertes que vous faites n'ont rien pour vous rassurer. Cette histoire, qui nous plonge dans l'atmosphère envoûtante d'un été parisien, ouvre la voie de la plus belle des réflexions sur nous-mêmes : qu'est-ce qui peut nous permettre de dépasser nos inhibitions, nos peurs et nos conditionnements, pour sortir du chemin tout tracé de notre vie lorsque celle-ci ne nous apporte pas pleinement satisfaction ?
©2010 S.N. Éditions Anne Carrière (P)2019 Audiolib
The author of Fight Club takes America beyond our darkest dreams in this timely satire. People pass the word only to those they trust most: Adjustment Day is coming. They've been reading a mysterious blue-black book and memorizing its directives. They are ready for the reckoning. In this ingeniously comic work, the author's first novel in four years, Chuck Palahniuk does what he does best: skewer the absurdities in our society. Smug, geriatric politicians hatch a nasty fate for the burgeoning population of young males; working-class men dream of burying the elites; and professors propound theories that offer students only the bleakest future. When it arrives, Adjustment Day inaugurates the new, disunited states. In this mind-blowing novel, Palahniuk - an equal-opportunity offender - fearlessly makes real the logical conclusion of every separatist fantasy, alternative fact, and conspiracy theory lurking in the American psyche.
©2018 Chuck Palahniuk (P)2018 Recorded Books
Are you there, Satan? Its me, Madison, declares the whip-tongued 13-year-old narrator of Damned, Chuck Palahniuks subversive new work of fiction. The daughter of a narcissistic film star and a billionaire, Madison is abandoned at her Swiss boarding school over Christmas, while her parents are off touting their new projects and adopting more orphans. She dies over the holiday of a marijuana overdoseand the next thing she knows, shes in Hell. Madison shares her cell with a motley crew of young sinners that is almost too good to be true: a cheerleader, a jock, a nerd, and a punk rocker, united by fate to form the six-feet-under version of everyones favorite detention movie. Madison and her pals trek across the Dandruff Desert and climb the treacherous Mountain of Toenail Clippings to confront Satan in his citadel. All the popcorn balls and wax lips that serve as the currency of Hell wont buy them off. This is the afterlife as only Chuck Palahniuk could imagine it: a twisted inferno where The English Patient plays on endless repeat, roaming demons devour sinners limb by limb, and the damned interrupt your dinner from their sweltering call center to hardsell you Hell. He makes eternal torment, well, simply divine.
©2011 Chuck Palahniuk (P)2011 Blackstone Audio, Inc.
Based on the column of the same name that appeared in The Toast, Hey Ladies! is a laugh-out-loud listen that follows a fictitious group of eight 20- and-30-something female friends for one year of holidays, summer house rentals, dates, brunches, breakups, and, of course, the planning of a disastrous wedding. This instantly relatable story is told entirely through emails, texts, DMs, and every other form of communication known to man. The women in the book are stand-ins for annoying friends that we all have. Theres Nicole, whos always broke and tries to pay for things in Forever21 gift cards. Theres Katie, the self-important budding journalist, who thinks a retweet and a byline are the same thing. And theres Jen, the DIY suburban bride-to-be. With a perfectly pitched sardonic tone, Hey Ladies! will have you cringing and laughing as you recognize your own friends and even yourself. Cover design by Michelle Markowitz, Caroline Moss (©2018 Abrams)
©2018 Michelle Markowitz and Caroline Moss (P)2018 Audible, Inc.
Jane, a struggling filmmaker in New York, is given her big break, a chance to travel through the United States to produce a Japanese television program sponsored by American meat exporters. Meanwhile, Akiko, a painfully thin Japanese woman struggling with bulimia, is being pressured by her child-craving husband to put some meat on her bones, literally. How Jane's and Akiko's lives intersect in wacky crosscultural collisions provides romance, humor, intrigue, and even a muckraking message about questionable meat and the Wal-Martification of America.
©1998 Ruth Ozeki Lounsbury (P)2003 Blackstone Audiobooks
Brought to you by Penguin. A sparkling satire from the Man Booker Prize-shortlisted and Women's Prize-winning author of How to Be Both and the critically acclaimed Seasonal quartet. 'There once was a man who, one night between the main course and the sweet at a dinner party, went upstairs and locked himself in one of the bedrooms of the house of the people who were giving the dinner party....' As time passes by and the consequences of this stranger's actions ripple outwards, touching the owners, the guests, the neighbours and the whole country, so Ali Smith draws us into a beautiful, strange place where everyone is so much more than they first appear....
©2021 Ali Smith (P)2021 Penguin Audio
We've all been there. One minute, you're sprawled out on your bed, minding our own business, and the next, you're lying in the back seat of your best friend's car as she races you to the ER. And not the closest one either. No. You're headed to the one 50 miles farther out, because the one five minutes away is where you start your residency next week. So there you are, lying in cubicle nine, hoping like hell that the doctor about to examine you isn't young, sexy, or male. Of course, he's all three. Telling him about the clitmaster7000 I have lodged inside me is by far the single most embarrassing moment of my life. Discovering he's my brother's new roommate is even worse. Contains mature themes.
©2018 Missy Johnson (P)2018 Tantor
In this election caper from a leading political operative and commentator, a cynical campaign manager finds his family skeletons coming out of the closet on the eve of the convention. New Orleans, July 2016: It's hot and sticky, and JD Callahan is fighting the campaign of his life. His candidate, the sitting vice president, is neck and neck with an anti-immigrant right-wing populist as the Republicans head into their first brokered convention in decades. Callahan, a New Orleans native without much affection for his hometown, is frantically trying to coordinate the convention and round up delegates when his estranged brother shows up, asks for an inconvenient favor, and threatens to reveal embarrassing family secrets if JD says no. Soon after, a series of bombs sets off a mass panic and tilts the convention toward the vice president's law-and-order opponent. As JD scrambles to contain the damage, he finds himself contending with a sexy, gun-toting local gossip columnist, an FBI agent convinced that JD is cynical enough to set the bombs himself, and a host of family secrets. The Innocent Have Nothing to Fear is a hilarious, sharply entertaining whodunit and a knowing satire of our political culture - the perfect summer listen for everyone who says he's sick to death of the 2016 campaign but can't stop reading and listening about it.
©2016 Stuart Stevens (P)2016 Random House Audio
In a stunning literary debut, Carrie Fisher chronicles the excruciatingly funny adventures of Suzanne Vale, young film star and drug addict, who survives a rehab clinic only to rejoin the equally harrowing world of Hollywood. Out there on the edge, despair flips into hilarity, and we're left laughing as Suzanne struggles to come to terms with her various fantasylands. Carrie Fisher's reading of her first novel evokes the deliciously irreverent humor that formed the lens through which she looked at life in the '80s - stardom, drugs, success, sex, and insecurity.
©1987 Carrie Fisher (P)1988, 2015 Dove Books-On-Tape, Phoenix Books
Barney Panofsky - Canadian expat, wily lover of women, writer, television producer, raconteur - is finally putting pen to paper so he can rebut the charges about him made in his rivals autobiography. Whether its ranting about his bohemian misadventures during the 1950s in Paris, his tumultuous three marriages, or his successful trashy TV company, Totally Unnecessary Productions, he quickly proves that his memory may be slipping, but his bile isnt. But when hes charged with the murder of his own best friend - caught in bed with the second Mrs. Panofsky - Barneys version of things might not be enough to keep him out of trouble.
©1997 Mordecai Richler (P)2014 Audible, Inc.
When acclaimed writer, television broadcaster, and gifted audiobook narrator, Steve Matchett, was asked to name his three favorite authors, he swiftly volunteered the names of Ernest Hemingway, George Orwell, and Jerome K. Jerome. The last of these may not be as widely known, but this only highlights the immense value Matchett places on Jeromes work. Best known for his comic masterpiece of 1889, Three Men in a Boat, Jerome's captivating tale of an unhurried boat trip along old Englands river Thames, with its charming mix of adventures and misadventures, has long stood the test of time. More than a century after its initial publication, Jeromes witty, often pithy observations on the quirkiness of daily life remain both relevant, poignant, and genuinely laugh-out-loud funny. In this wonderfully attractive special edition: Three Men in a Boat: The 130th Birthday Celebration, Steve Matchett presents us with a warm, heartfelt tribute to this enchanting, evergreen story.
Matchett's own comforting tones, his captivating English accent prove a truly inspired choice for narrator of this perfectly performed audiobook edition - his beguiling range of British accents and dialects used for the story's ever changing cast of minor characters is most appealing. In terms of its additional content, The 130th Birthday Celebration special edition is introduced with a touching foreword written by Steve Matchett, himself, in which he discusses exactly why he is so enamored with Jerome's sweetly gentle tale of yesteryear. Moreover, each chapter of this compelling, unfolding story comes complete with Matchett's own series of annotated musings: these personal "notes from the riverbank" concluding each of the books nineteen chapters.
The end result of all of this, Steve Matchett's genuine labor of love is a truly beautiful volume; a fresh and elegantly presented audiobook edition of this timeless classic; one sure to win a whole new audience - a recording to enjoy over and over again.
©2018 Steve Matchett (P)2019 Steve Matchett
Animatrice de talk-show, Kim Lange est au sommet de sa gloire quand elle est écrasée par une météorite. Dans l'au-delà, elle apprend qu'elle a accumulé beaucoup trop de mauvais karma au cours de son existence. Non seulement elle a négligé sa fille et trompé son mari, mais elle a rendu la vie impossible à son entourage. Pour sa punition, Kim se réincarne en fourmi. Et le pire reste à venir : de ses minuscules yeux d'insecte, elle voit une autre femme la remplacer auprès de sa famille. Elle doit au plus vite remonter l'échelle des réincarnations. Mais, de fourmi à bipède, le chemin est long. Kim devra surmonter bien des obstacles... et, au passage, revoir la plupart de ses conceptions sur l'existence ! Tour à tour incisif, léger et émouvant, Maudit karma est un roman jubilatoire. >> Ce livre audio en version intégrale vous est proposé en exclusivité par Audible et est uniquement disponible en téléchargement.
©2008 Place des Éditeurs. Traduit de l'allemand par Catherine Barret (P)2017 Audible Studios
On a small, unnamed coral atoll in the South Pacific, a group of troubled dreamers must face the possibility that the hopes they've labored after so single-mindedly might not lead them to the happiness they feel they were promised. Ann and Richard, an aspiring Los Angeles power couple, are already sensing the cracks in their version of the American dream when their life unexpectedly implodes, leading them to run brashly away from home to a Robinson Crusoe idyll. Dex Cooper, lead singer of the rock band Prospero, is facing his own slide from greatness, experimenting with artistic asceticism while accompanied by his sexy, young, and increasingly entrepreneurial muse, Wende. Loren, the French owner of the resort sauvage, made his own Gauguin-like retreat from the world years before only to find that it has become impossible to disconnect from the modern world. Titi, descendent of Tahitian royalty, worker, and eventual inheritor of the resort, must fashion a vision of the island's future that includes its indigenous people while her partner, Cooked, is torn between anarchy and lust. By turns funny and tragic, The Last Good Paradise explores our modern, complex, and often self-contradictory discontents, crafting an exhilarating story about our need to connect in an increasingly networked but isolating world.
©2015 © Recorded by arrangement with St. Martin's Press (P)2015 HighBridge, a division of Recorded Books
She's entered the cultural mainstream, been immortalized in rap songs, and is probably brunching with friends right now, bragging about her new Louis Vuitton-she's a leech, more commonly known as a gold digger. But what about the man who supports her? How did that Poor Sucker end up footing the bill, and what can he do to free himself from financial abuse? Poor-Sucker Syndrome: The Story about Leeches and the Men That Feed Them sheds light on the emotional deceit of gold diggers and how men so haplessly fall for their calculated charms. In this unique self-help book, written with warmth, wit, and sharp observations of the push and pull between the sexes, Mitch Vandell gives name to and breaks down this widely familiar yet rarely recognized social affliction. Using humorous case studies with theories that incorporate psychology, social anthropology, and economic theory, Poor-Sucker Syndrome explores the enablers and risk factors involved in contracting the syndrome.
©2012 Mitch Vandell (P)2014 Mitch Vandell
Growing old disgracefully and having a grand old time.... Billy and Dawnie may be in their 70s, but that wont stop them taking chances or starting again. Their grown-up children have families and lives of their own, so now its Billy and Dawnies turn and a life near the sea in Devon beckons. But the residents of Margot Street (or Maggot Street as Dawnie insists on calling it), dont quite know what to make of their new neighbours. Billys loud, shiny and huge Harley Davidson looks out of place next to the safe and sensible Honda Jazz next door, and Dawnies never-ending range of outrageous wigs and colourful clothes means shes impossible to miss. As new friendships are formed and new adventures are shared, Billy and Dawnie start winning their neighbours affection. And when life teaches them all a terrible lesson, the folks of Margot Street are determined to live every day as if its their last. Judy Leigh returns with a soul-warming, rib-tickling, timeless tale of true love, true friendship and happy-ever-afters.
©2020 Judy Leigh (P)2020 Boldwood Books
Carl Hiaasen, Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist and best-selling author, has earned a reputation for perceptive, sharp-edged suspense that also cuts to the bone of environmental issues. His novels have been translated into many languages and are touted worldwide for their quirky characters and surreal adventures set in the ravaged cultural wasteland of southern Florida. Stormy Weather centers on the aftermath of Hurricane Andrew. The devastation of the storm has attracted crowds of voyeurs and impostors to Florida. Drawn by the chance to prey on Andrew's victims, misfits like the murderous ex-con Snapper and the dangerously seductive Edie find easy targets for their insurance scams. They're not prepared, though, when they meet their opposition, led by a hoary ex-governor who smokes toads. Both hilariously funny and deadly accurate, Carl Hiaasen's novel will take you into a Florida that is far from the frilly palms and pink flamingos of its post cards. Strap on your seatbelt. Stormy Weather is an unforgettable, turbulent ride.
©1995 Carl Hiaasen (P)1997 Recorded Books, LLC
Vodka should come with a warning: mixing with karaoke will make you do stupid shit, like sing that song you wrote when you were 14 about the boy who broke your heart. At least he didn't see it. Oh wait. He did. I should've just stayed home. The only reason I came was to stop Lily from doing something stupid, like crash her ex-boyfriend's wedding. When I open my hotel room door to find Adam standing there, that sexy smirk tells me he's hasn't changed. He's still the same arrogant asshole who made my childhood hell. He insists on driving us home, and while he's the last person I want to be around, he and I both know it's a bad idea for Lily to be anywhere near that wedding. I'm on the road trip from hell with my heartbroken cousin and the one guy I can't stand. What was I thinking? Contains mature themes.
©2018 Missy Johnson (P)2018 Tantor
"You bitch, you killed me. You suck!" Being dead sucks. Make that being undead sucks. Literally. Just ask Thomas C. Flood. Waking up after a fantastic night unlike anything he's ever experienced, he discovers that his girlfriend, Jody, the woman of his dreams, is a vampire. And surprise! Now he's one, too. For some couples, the whole biting-and-blood thing would have been a deal breaker. But Tommy and Jody are in love, and they vow to work through their issues. Like how much Jody should teach Tommy about his new superpowers (and how much he needs to learn on his own). Plus there's Tommy's cute new minion, 16-year-old goth girl Abby Normal. (Well, someone has to run errands during daylight hours!) Making the relationship work, however, is the least of Jody and Tommy's problems. Word has it that the vampire who nibbled on Jody wasn't supposed to be recruiting any new members into the club. Even worse, Tommy's erstwhile turkey-bowling pals are out to get him, at the urging of a blue-dyed Las Vegas call-girl named (duh) Blue. And that really sucks.
©2007 Christopher Moore (P)2007 HarperCollins Publishers
Chabon's extraordinary story of one turbulent weekend in the life of a struggling writer, a satire of the permanent adolescence of the creative class. A wildly successful first novel made Grady Tripp a young star, and seven years later he still hasn't grown up. He's now a writing professor in Pittsburgh, plummeting through middle age, stuck with an unfinishable manuscript, an estranged wife, a pregnant girlfriend, and a talented but deeply disturbed student named James Leer. During one lost weekend at a writing festival with Leer and debauched editor Terry Crabtree, Tripp must finally confront the wreckage made of his past decisions. Mordant but humane, Wonder Boys features characters as loveably flawed as any in American fiction.
©1995 Michael Chabon (P)1995 Brilliance Audio, all rights reserved.
Die Oma tindert. Die Enkelin strickt. Was passiert, wenn zwei Generationen ihr Leben tauschen? Zwei Monate Sabbatical: Nach einer katastrophalen Präsentation im Job wird Leena eine Auszeit verordnet. Ausgerechnet Leena, die Tag und Nacht arbeitet, um ihre verstorbene Schwester nicht zu vermissen. Zuflucht findet sie bei ihrer Großmutter Eileen auf dem Land. Eileen wurde mit 79 gerade von ihrem Mann verlassen und wünscht sich eine neue Liebe, nur leider ist die Auswahl an interessanten Kandidaten in ihrem kleinen Dorf begrenzt. Die Lösung liegt nah: Eileen stürzt sich in die Londoner Dating-Szene, und Leena kommt auf dem Land zur Ruhe. Doch ist es wirklich so einfach, die Leben zu tauschen? >> Diese ungekürzte Hörbuch-Fassung genießt du exklusiv nur bei Audible.
©2020 Beth O'Leary / Random House Audio / Diana Verlag. Übersetzung von Pauline Kurbasik, Babette Schröder (P)2020 Random House Audio
A sexy rockstar walking into your hotel room sounds like a dream come true. When you're in the middle of some serious self-pleasure like I was, it's a freaking nightmare. It gets worse. What I thought was my room...was actually his. I'd just given last year's hottest new talent a performance worthy of my own Grammy. Now everyone is talking about the girl who got her rocks off in Brix Wilson's hotel room. Nobody knows I'm that girl, and it's going to stay that way. It's not like I'm going to run into him again, right? Wrong. Contains mature themes.
©2019 Missy Johnson (P)2019 Tantor
Now available: the complete Coma Girl daily serial! From the international best-selling author of Stop the Wedding! (now a Hallmark Channel movie) and the Body Movers mystery series comes a story of family drama, suspense, comedy, and romance. In Coma Girl, a victim of a tragic event lies in a hospital bed, at the mercy of friends and relatives who think she can't hear them. But she so can. This version of Coma Girl contains the complete daily serial, six months of entries. Don't miss out on this laugh-out-loud, fun story everyone else is talking about!
©2016 Stephanie Bond, Inc. (P)2017 Stephanie Bond, Inc.
Seconds before the Earth is demolished to make way for a galactic freeway, Arthur Dent is plucked off the planet by his friend Ford Prefect, a researcher for the revised edition of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy who, for the last 15 years, has been posing as an out-of-work actor. Together this dynamic pair begin a journey through space aided by quotes from The Hitchhiker's Guide ("A towel is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have.") and a galaxy full of fellow travelers: Zaphod Beeblebrox, the two-headed, three-armed ex-hippie and totally out-to-lunch president of the galaxy; Trillian, Zaphod's girlfriend (formally Tricia McMillan), whom Arthur tried to pick up at a cocktail party once upon a time zone; Marvin, a paranoid, brilliant, and chronically depressed robot; and Veet Voojagig, a former graduate student who is obsessed with the disappearance of all the ballpoint pens he bought over the years. Where are these pens? Why are we born? Why do we die? Why do we spend so much time in between wearing digital watches? For all the answers stick your thumb to the stars. And don't forget to bring a towel!
©1980 Serious Productions Ltd (P)2005 Random House, Inc. Random House Audio, a division of Random House, Inc.
It wasn't easy, but I did it. It was a long struggle, but I made it. I found unhappiness in a peaceful world. You can too! Maybe you already have. In that case, this book will show you how you did it. And if you haven't, it will show you how you can do it. Moreover, no matter how unhappy, depressed, or anxious you are, by listening to this book you can become even more unhappy, more depressed, and more anxious. There is no limit to how unhappy you can be.
©1997, 2013 by Gil Friedman Gil Friedman (P)2014 Gil Friedman
An extraordinary and emotional adventure about unlikely friends and the power of choosing who you want to be. Jamie woke up in an empty apartment with no memory and only a few clues to his identity, but with the ability to read and erase other peoples memories - a power he uses to hold up banks to buy coffee, cat food, and books. Zoe is also searching for her past, and using her abilities of speed and strength...to deliver fast food. And shell occasionally put on a cool suit and beat up bad guys, if she feels like it. When the archrivals meet in a memory-loss support group, they realize the only way to reveal their hidden pasts might be through each other. As they uncover an ongoing threat, suddenly much more is at stake than their fragile friendship. With countless people at risk, Zoe and Jamie will have to recognize that sometimes being a hero starts with trusting someone else - and yourself.
©2021 Mike Chen (P)2021 Harlequin Enterprises, Limited
In a delightful sequel to the best-selling comedic novel My Italian Bulldozer, we are in a French village where the local restaurant's haute cuisine leaves a lot to be desired - and two books into an astounding ninth series from one of our most beloved authors. Renowned cookbook writer Paul Stuart, renewed and refreshed from his time in Tuscany, has returned to Scotland to work on his new book, The Philosophy of Food in Six Easy Chapters. Writing, though, is complicated by Paul's changed domestic circumstances. His editor and new girlfriend, Gloria, has moved in with him despite not being specifically invited, and she's brought her two rather demanding Siamese cats. When Paul's cousin, Chloe, suggests Paul visit her in the French countryside, Paul jumps at the chance. However, once he arrives, he finds his fortunes tangled up with the infamous local restaurant that gives the book its title. In this story about a man who prides himself on his taste finding delight in the most unexpected places, we have Alexander McCall Smith at his most witty and charming.
©2019 Alexander McCall Smith (P)2019 Bolinda Publishing Pty Ltd
The town psychiatrist has decided to switch everybody in Pine Cove, California, from their normal antidepressants to placebos, so naturally - well, to be accurate, artificially - business is booming at the local blues bar. Trouble is, those lonely slide-guitar notes have also attracted a colossal sea beast named Steve with, shall we say, a thing for explosive oil tanker trucks. Suddenly, morose Pine Cove turns libidinous and is hit by a mysterious crime wave, and a beleaguered constable has to fight off his own gonzo appetites to find out what's wrong and what, if anything, to do about it.
©1999 Christopher Moore (P)2009 HarperCollins Publishers
Walking into Jake's bachelor party to see my professor motorboating a stripper? Talk about awkward. It wouldn't have been so bad if I wasn't completely hot for the guy. I had been since I first walked into that feline anatomy class and saw him performing chest compressions on a Persian cat named Andrew. All I could think about was how I wanted to be the next creature to slither under those strong, masculine hands. It was every woman's dream, right? Finding a man who knew how to handle a pussy. So, as I sat in that strip club and knocked back my third tequila, I started thinking...I should make a move on him. When our eyes locked over the busty, blonde stripper who was gyrating against me and he smiled, it was all the encouragement I needed. I politely pushed her aside, stood up, and walked over to him and...I've got no idea what happened next. I knew there was a reason I avoided drinking tequila. Judging by the way he's smirking at me as I walk into his class on Monday? I'm not sure I want to know.... Contains mature themes.
©2018 Missy Johnson (P)2018 Tantor
In this hilarious novel from Pulitzer Prize finalist Lydia Millet, a honeymooning couple makes friends with a marine biologist who discovers genuine mermaids in a coral reef - and who, the next night, apparently drowns in her hotel bathtub. As a resort chain swoops in to corner the market on mermaids, the newlyweds (opinionated, skeptical narrator Deb and handsome online gamer Chip, the world's friendliest man) join forces with other vacationers - including an ex-Navy SEAL with a love of explosives and a hipster Tokyo VJ - to protect the mermaids from the corporate "Venture of Marvels" that wants to turn their habitat into a theme park.
©2014 Lydia Millet (P)2014 Dreamscape Media, LLC
Youre goddamn right. Im still sitting at the same weathered wooden table in the back of Manhattans oldest bar where I just finished my first masterpiece, At Night She Cries, While He Rides His Steed. The second I finished it, I started writing this one. Im now 14 beers deep, and Ive polished off an entire eight ball of yay. The phrase everything in moderation applies to everything except cocaine, booze, and prostitutes. If you havent read my last book then you probably wont f--cking understand anything in this book, so you should probably go buy that first and stop being poor. Its f--cking gross. Lets get something straight, my life is so important that you should be grateful Im even doing this. Seriously, do you know another motherf--cker like me? Me, neither. So lets get down to brass. In the last book, I told you that I was going to off myself after completing my life story. That still holds true. My trusty handgun is still loaded next to my Remington Rand typewriter that Hemingway pissed on, and you know the f--cking bartender isnt going to cut me off, so Im going to sit here and keep writing my memoirs until I finish. To answer your question: No, I havent gotten up for bathroom breaks. I just piss on the floor.
©2018 Ross Patterson (P)2018 Ross Patterson
He was a legend, until he walked away. I was nobody, until I was dragged into the light. I was never supposed to be part of Wicked, but it was always part of me. Now it's my turn to do something that matters. Even if the man I love hates me for it. Wicked Girl is the final installment in the new adult rock star trilogy Wicked! Jax and Haley's story begins in Good Girl, continues in Bad Girl, and concludes in Wicked Girl.
©2018, 2019 Piper Lawson Books (P)2019 Piper Lawson Books
Who is a greater novelist than Chang-rae Lee today? (Los Angeles Times) One of our most silken storytellers. (The Boston Globe) An extraordinary book, acrobatic on the level of the sentence, symphonic across its many movements - and this is a book that moves...My Year Abroad is a wild ride - a caper, a romance, a bildungsroman, and something of a satire of how to get filthy rich in rising Asia. (Vogue) From the award-winning author of Native Speaker and On Such a Full Sea, an exuberant, provocative story about a young American life transformed by an unusual Asian adventure - and about the human capacities for pleasure, pain, and connection. Tiller is an average American college student with a good heart but minimal aspirations. Pong Lou is a larger-than-life, wildly creative Chinese American entrepreneur who sees something intriguing in Tiller beyond his bored exterior and takes him under his wing. When Pong brings him along on a boisterous trip across Asia, Tiller is catapulted from ordinary young man to talented protégé, and pulled into a series of ever more extreme and eye-opening experiences that transform his view of the world, of Pong, and of himself. In the breathtaking, precise, elliptical prose that Chang-rae Lee is known for (The New York Times), the narrative alternates between Tillers outlandish, mind-boggling year with Pong and the strange, riveting, emotionally complex domestic life that follows it, as Tiller processes what happened to him abroad and what it means for his future. Rich with commentary on Western attitudes, Eastern stereotypes, capitalism, global trade, mental health, parenthood, mentorship, and more, My Year Abroad is also an exploration of the surprising effects of cultural immersion - on a young American in Asia, on a Chinese man in America, and on an unlikely couple hiding out in the suburbs. Tinged at once with humor and darkness, electric with its accumulating surprises and suspense, My Year Abroad is a novel that only Chang-rae Lee could have written, and one that will be listened to and discussed for years to come.
©2020 Chang-rae Lee (P)2020 Penguin Audio
"The Secret Life of Pets meets The Walking Dead" in this big-hearted, boundlessly beautiful romp through the apocalypse, where a foul-mouthed crow is humanity's only chance to survive Seattle's zombie problem (Karen Joy Fowler, PEN/Faulkner Award-winning author) S.T., a domesticated crow, is a bird of simple pleasures: hanging out with his owner Big Jim, trading insults with Seattle's wild crows (i.e. "those idiots"), and enjoying the finest food humankind has to offer: Cheetos®. But when Big Jim's eyeball falls out of his head, S.T. starts to think something's not quite right. His most tried-and-true remedies - from beak-delivered beer to the slobbering affection of Big Jim's loyal but dim-witted dog, Dennis - fail to cure Big Jim's debilitating malady. S.T. is left with no choice but to abandon his old life and venture out into a wild and frightening new world with his trusty steed Dennis, where he suddenly discovers that the neighbors are devouring one another. Local wildlife is abuzz with rumors of dangerous new predators. Humanity's extinction has seemingly arrived, and the only one determined to save it is a cowardly crow whose only knowledge of the world around him comes from TV. What could possibly go wrong?
©2019 Kira Jane Buxton (P)2019 Hachette Audio
When Quaker Pastor Sam Gardner is asked by the ill Unitarian minister to oversee a wedding in his place, Sam naturally agrees. It's not until the couple stands before him that he realizes they're two women. In the tempest of strong opinions and misunderstandings that follows the incident, Sam faces potential unemployment. Deeply discouraged, he wonders if his pastoral usefulness has come to an end. Perhaps it's time for a change. After all, his wife has found a new job at the library, his elder son is off to college, and the younger has decided to join the military once he graduates high school. Sam is contemplating a future selling used cars when he receives a call from a woman in the suburban town of Hope, Indiana. It seems Hope Friends Meeting is in desperate need of a pastor. Though they only have 12 members, they also have a beautiful meetinghouse and a pie committee (Sam is fond of pie). But can he really leave his beloved hometown of Harmony?
©2014 Philip Gulley (P)2014 Hachette Audio
For anyone who's ever been on the receiving end of an unsolicited dick pic.... He has the muscles of Adonis, an ego bigger than the sun, and a very clear desire to get back in my pants. Which would be fantastic if he weren't a SEAL and I wasn't a criminal. Although, I prefer the term avenger. I'm a hacktivist, cleaning up the cesspool of cyberspace one scam artist and troll at a time, and I sometimes bend a few rules to get justice done. He's a military man with abs of glory, sworn to uphold the letter of the law no matter its shortcomings. And if he'd known who - or what - I was, I doubt he would've banged me at my best friend's wedding reception. Or come back for more. Which is why he's now the only thing standing between me and one very pissed-off internet troll who's figured out where I live. I'm pretty sure he'll get me out of this alive - and quite satisfied, thank you very much - but I'm also pretty sure this mission will end with me in handcuffs. And not the good kind of handcuffs. Contains mature themes.
©2018 Pippa Grant (P)2019 Tantor
"An amazing achievement... A compulsively readable novel, so canny and weird and surfeited with the reality of human capacity and ingenuity that I am stymied for comparison. Dickens and David Lynch? Defoe meets Margaret Atwood? Judge for yourself." (Gregory Maguire, New York Times best-selling author of Wicked)
The wry, macabre, unforgettable tale of an ambitious orphan in Revolutionary Paris, befriended by royalty and radicals, who transforms herself into the legendary Madame Tussaud.
In 1761, a tiny, odd-looking girl named Marie is born in a village in Switzerland. After the death of her parents, she is apprenticed to an eccentric wax sculptor and whisked off to the seamy streets of Paris, where they meet a domineering widow and her quiet, pale son. Together, they convert an abandoned monkey house into an exhibition hall for wax heads, and the spectacle becomes a sensation.
As word of her artistic talent spreads, Marie is called to Versailles, where she tutors a princess and saves Marie Antoinette in childbirth. But outside the palace walls, Paris is roiling: The revolutionary mob is demanding heads, and...at the wax museum, heads are what they do.
In the tradition of Gregory Maguire's Wicked and Erin Morgenstern's The Night Circus, Edward Carey's Little is a darkly endearing cavalcade of a novel - a story of art, class, determination, and how we hold on to what we love.
©2018 Edward Carey (P)2018 Penguin Audio
"Fresh, funny, bittersweet....This book delivers humor, humanity, and hubris." (New York Times Book Review) Named an NPR, Marie Claire, and Teen Vogue best book of the year and a most anticipated book of 2020 by Vogue, Harper's Bazaar, Elle, Time, People, BuzzFeed, Bustle, and more In the tradition of audacious and wryly funny novels like The Idiot and Convenience Store Woman comes the wildly original coming-of-age story of a pregnant pizza delivery girl who becomes obsessed with one of her customers. Eighteen years old, pregnant, and working as a pizza delivery girl in suburban Los Angeles, our charmingly dysfunctional heroine is deeply lost and in complete denial about it all. She's grieving the death of her father (whom she has more in common with than she'd like to admit), avoiding her supportive mom and loving boyfriend, and flagrantly ignoring her future. Her world is further upended when she becomes obsessed with Jenny, a stay-at-home mother new to the neighborhood, who comes to depend on weekly deliveries of pickled-covered pizzas for her son's happiness. As one woman looks toward motherhood and the other toward middle age, the relationship between the two begins to blur in strange, complicated, and ultimately heartbreaking ways. Bold, tender, propulsive, and unexpected in countless ways, Jean Kyoung Frazier's Pizza Girl is a moving and funny portrait of a flawed, unforgettable young woman as she tries to find her place in the world.
©2020 Jean Kyoung Frazier (P)2020 Random House Audio
What do ice cream and Sadie Montgomery have in common? They're both ice cold, but one taste is never enough. I wanted to be friends - I would have even settled for her seeing me as anything but a nerd - but there was no getting through. So just like any hard-headed, red-blooded man out there, I made up my mind. I'd make my coworker fall for me. I'd like to say it was simple, but like every other epic love story, all it took was one drunken night and a lot of naked courage to get the girl. For a moment, at least. Love with a coworker is never simple, especially since Sadie's trying to keep us on the low. Not to mention her persistent ex-boyfriend who won't leave her alone. But I've never been good at giving up, and I don't plan to start now. The whole thing is a recipe for a rocky road, but I plan to eat the whole gallon, no matter how bad the brain freeze. Contains mature themes.
©2017 Meghan Quinn (P)2020 Tantor
When I found an eviction notice taped on my apartment door, I had two options: find a comfortable cardboard box to call home, or move in with Tucker Jameson. Seeing that cardboard makes me feel itchy, I chose the latter. Which shouldn't be that big of a deal since Tucker is one of my good friends. And because he's still pining after his ex-girlfriend and I'm trying to finish my nursing degree, there is nothing to worry about in the romance department, making my last semester an easy one to conquer. Boy, was I wrong. Rules are set, dinners are made, conversations are had, and a shirtless, swoony roommate walks around in nothing but a pair of black briefs, ruining me for every other man. Before I know it, I turn into a panting, lust-filled woman begging for Tucker to kiss me, touch me, and show me exactly what is hiding under those briefs. But with great orgasms, comes great consequences. Tucker might be my friend and roommate, but he's also my best friend's ex-boyfriend, making him completely off-limits. At least that's what my brain is telling me; my heart is speaking an entirely different language. Contains mature themes.
©2017 Meghan Quinn (P)2017 Tantor
Two necromancers, a dwarf kingdom, and a sky city - it sounds like a prelude to mayhem, and given Timmys luck, thats exactly whats going to happen. To keep his castle and earn his pardon, Timmy has his work cut out for him. Whether its rescuing princesses, crushing hordes of goblins, or dealing with eldritch abominations, Timmy and the gang are there to save the day - and rob the occasional crime lord. But saving the day isnt always easy. Timmy might be an eminently sensible necromancer, but he has to deal with a young dragon who is convinced that every problem can be eaten, an elf obsessed with property damage, an ancient vampire who cant get through a mission without being impaled repeatedly, a semi-retired legendary swordsman, a bureaucrat who has finally mastered the art of screaming and swinging a frying pan, and an overly ambitious apprentice doing her best to be more menacing despite loving the colour pink. Its hardly a surprise when things dont exactly go to plan. With war on the horizon, Timmy and the others have their hands full. Rescuing a princess can be difficult at the best of times, but rescuing a princess from one of the most powerful crime lords in the world? Thats going to be tricky. And thats not their only problem. Ever wonder whose job it is to deal with rampaging hordes of goblins that are about to overwhelm a kingdom of dwarves? Well, thats Timmys job. Isnt he lucky? On the upside, he finally has an excuse to deploy another army of zombies. Hes going to teach those goblins a very important lesson: Never, ever get into a war of attrition with a necromancer. One necromancer is dangerous. Two necromancers with a dragon, a vampire, a swordsman, an elf, and a bureaucrat - thats downright deadly.
©2019 L.G. Estrella (P)2020 Podium Audio
New York Times best-selling author Alexander McCall Smith, creator of the beloved No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency novels, crafts the second irresistible installment in his Scotland Street series. Espresso Tales follows the charming and immensely popular 44 Scotland Street as all the favorite residents of that Edinburgh address return. Between glances in the mirror, vain Bruce contemplates a new career as a wine merchant. His troubled flatmate, Pat, finds himself looking for true love at a nudist picnic. Precocious Bertie, now six years old, prepares for kindergarten despite the horror of being forced to wear pink overalls. Meanwhile, his domineering mother, Irene, and his psychologist, Dr. Fairbarn, struggle with dark secrets as Bertie plots his rebellion against them. It's business as usual in the Georgian townhouse at 44 Scotland Street, and McCall Smith's innumerable fans wouldn't have it any other way.
©2005 Alexander McCall Smith (P)2006 Record Books LLC
Please note: This content is not for kids. It is for mature audiences only. This audio comedy features adult language and themes, some sexual content, and the kind of talk you leave on the field. Discretion is advised. 64th Man is an Audible Original starring the world-famous and powerfully funny John Cena, Emmy-nominated actress Anna Chlumsky (Veep), comedy legend Jane Curtin, and an all-star cast of Saturday Night Live performers and alums. Produced by Broadway Video, this sports comedy is not an audiobook - its a 10-episode scripted audio series thats like TV for your ears. In sports, everybody loves redemption stories, the underdog who no one believes in but through sheer hard work wins it all. But no one tells the stories of the players who work hard and dont make it. In pro football, 53 guys get on the roster. Ten make it to the practice squad. And then theres the 64th Man - thats Billy Logan (Cena), who seems to always be one spot from glory. After a promising college career capped by a headline-making, game-winning play, Billy seems destined to be drafted to the NFL. But he isnt, and after a year of tryouts and near misses, he still hasnt made it pro. So, he returns home to Columbus, Ohio, to figure out how to make his great gridiron dream come true. With a new job at a grocery store, Billy reconnects with his ex-girlfriend Ellen (Chlumsky), but generally its embarrassing to be back in town, seeing as he was the star who was going places, and now hes seen as the star who never went anywhere. Looking for an opening to the end zone, Billy will tackle anything to make his dream come true. Its a path that leads him to a billionaire tech bro starting a new professional football league that has more in common with professional wrestling, a health guru selling a cult-like fitness craze, and a hard-partying NFL quarterback who needs a real-life tackle dummy for his football video game. Will these lateral runs lead Billy to NFL stardom? A life of love with his ex? Or something totally unexpected from an elderly mentor named Mildred (Curtin) who he trains at the gym? Written by Bryan Tucker, senior writer at Saturday Night Live, and Zack Phillips, former head writer at Above Average and its sports site The Kicker, this hard-hitting underdog story with a touch of romance also features Leslie Jones, Adam Pally, Chris Redd, Alex Moffat, Jay Pharaoh, Mark-Paul Gosselaar, Will Forte, Heidi Gardner, and more. Listen to Billys journey as he learns what happens when you're fourth and inches from your dream, but the game clock is running out.
©2019 The Broadway Video Group, Inc. (P)2019 The Broadway Video Group, Inc.
Harry always knew he would go back one day ... Eighteen years ago when he was a boy, he had made a decision that drove him from the place he knew and loved. In those early years, between boy and man, he had carved out a life for himself, and somehow, he had found a semblance of peace.Yet through every waking moment during those long aching years, he was haunted by what happened when he was a boy. He had never forgotten that warm, carefree girl with the laughing eyes. Then he recalled the sadness, the bad timings and even now, he could not forgive himself. They say you never forget your first love and it's true. You could have a dozen loving relationships and even settle down with someone you would die for, but your first love is always there, safe and protected in your heart and soul. Now for the first time in all those years, Harry is heading back. Excited, afraid, and full of doubts, he knows he has no choice. Rightly or wrongly, he needs to know the outcome of what happened all those years ago. And most importantly, he needs to find forgiveness.
©2008 HarperCollins Publishers (P)2008 HarperCollins Publishers
Imagine this: When the stock market crashes on the Thursday before Easter, you, an ambitious broker, not overly successful or ethical, know you're facing the Weekend from Hell. With only 72 hours to scheme and scramble your way out of this nightmare, you find yourself confronted with a 300-pound psychic, a tattooed stranger, African rituals, legendary amphibians, outer space, and your own sexuality. Half Asleep in Frog Pajamas, the highly praised novel from Tom Robbins, places the listener at the center of a wildly psychotic journey. When it is over, will you - and the world - be wiser, sadder, better in some way? Or merely possessed of a complete understanding of the surprisingly serious phrase, "half asleep in frog pajamas?"
©1994 by Tom Robbins (P)1995 by Dove Audio, Inc.
Not everything is roses, chocolates, and vibrators in Zara's life...until Talon, Hawks MC president, wants to claim her as his. Zara Edgingway is a 26-year-old secretary. She has a daughter who apparently knows it all and a best friend who could possibly have the mouth of Satan, but she's been with her through hell and back. Then there's the hunk-a-licious biker neighbor finally showing interest in her. If only she wasn't about to face her next obstacle in life, the one she ran from six years ago: her ex-husband. Talon Marcus is the president of the Hawks Motorcycle Club. For two years he's had his eye on the quiet, reclusive, yet sassy neighbor Zara. Finally, he has the chance to claim her as his woman. Just when her past catches up with her, she'll need not only his protection but help from his biker brothers. Now, if only she'd stop fighting him along the way.
©2015 Lila Rose (P)2017 Audible, Inc.
American Howard W. Campbell, Jr., a spy during World War II, is now on trial in Israel as a Nazi war criminal. But is he really guilty? In this brilliant book rife with true gallows humor, Kurt Vonnegut turns black and white into a chilling shade of grey with a verdict that will haunt us all. Mother Night is a daring challenge to our moral sense. As an added bonus, when you purchase our Audible Modern Vanguard production of Kurt Vonnegut's book, you'll also receive an exclusive Jim Atlas interview. This interview where James Atlas interviews Gay Talese about the life and work of Kurt Vonnegut begins as soon as the audiobook ends.
©1966 Kurt Vonnegut (P)2008 Audible, Inc.
The worlds sexiest firefighter is about to get a second chance with the virgin next door.... Hes bossy, arrogant, and so ridiculously hot that he should come with a warning label and a pair of flame-retardant coveralls. Hes also the boy who broke my heart when we were in high school. I want to move in next door to Ryan ODell the way I want to be the virgin gamer geek suddenly in charge of running my sisters sex-toy factory. Too bad both are written in my stars. Yeah, Im the worlds oldest virgin code-writing nerd. And hes the worlds hottest firefighter. And even though he intimidates the heck out of me, I cant seem to control my libido when hes around. Where is my dignity? My self-respect? My panties? Seriously...have you seen them? Anyone? Maybe theyre hiding in his bedroom. With my heart. Yeah, I know. Im hosed. So hosed. Hosed is a steamy, fun romantic comedy between a firefighter and the virgin nerd next door, complete with a pet raccoon, scandalous gossip, and dildo football. (No, really.) This romance has no cheating or cliff-hangers and ends with a banging-hot happily ever after.
©2019 Pippa Grant and Lili Valente (P)2019 Pippa Grant and Lili Valente
"You should write it all down, Lou, so that your daughter can understand what happened. Everything. Right from the start." Lou Cairney's life has never been dull. But through twenty years of ups, downs and really bad hairstyles, Lou has had the best friends a woman could hope for in Lizzy and Ginger. Growing up together, they shared their dreams and their disasters, broken hearts and career crashes and they survived it all thanks to love, hope, a large dollop of humour and cocktails. Until now; Lou needs her friends more than ever. Her past has just caught up with her in a shocking way.
©2011 Shari Low (P)2018 W. F. Howes Ltd
Ted Wallace is an old, sour, womanising, cantankerous, whisky-sodden beast of a failed poet and drama critic, but he has his faults too. Fired from his newspaper, months behind on his alimony payments, and disgusted with a world that undervalues him, Ted seeks a few months repose and free drink at Swafford Hall, the country mansion of his old friend Lord Logan. But strange things have been going on at Swafford. Miracles. Healings. Phenomena beyond the comprehension of a mud-caked hippopotamus like Ted....
©1994 Stephen Fry (P)1994 Random House Audio
She's a fashion model who has everything: a boyfriend, a career, a loyal best friend. But when a sudden freeway "accident" leaves her disfigured and incapable of speech, she is transformed from the beautiful center of attention to an invisible monster, so hideous that no one will acknowledge she exists. Enter Brandy Alexander, Queen Supreme, one operation away from becoming a real woman, who will teach her that reinventing yourself means erasing your past and making up something better - and that salvation hides in the last places you'll ever want to look.
©1999 Chuck Palahniuk (P)2006 Blackstone Audio Inc.
Steven Stelfox ist zurück. Zwanzig Jahre sind seit seinem mörderischen Rundumschlag in Kill Your Friends vergangen. Jetzt genießt Stelfox ein geruhsames Jetset-Leben. Wenn er Langeweile hat, verdingt er sich als Problem-Berater der Musikindustrie. Und sein Freund Trellick, CEO der größten US-Plattenfirma, hat ein großes Problem: Sein Künstler Lucius Du Pre, einst der erfolgreichste Popstar auf Erden, ist inzwischen ein hoffnungsloser Junkie und unberechenbares Sexmonster. Um immense Vorschüsse wieder einzuspielen, ist eine Comeback-Tour geplant. Doch zunächst gilt es, eine Erpressung abzuwenden... Bitterböse gelesen von Dietmar Wunder.
©2019 Heyne. Übersetzung von Stephan Glietsch (P)2019 Random House Audio
Outsmart the undead with this exclusive collection featuring Max Brooks' World War Z and The Zombie Survival Guide (Unabridged). For a limited time only, until September 25, 2006, you get these two audiobooks for the price of one! World War Z: An Oral History of the Zombie War The Zombie War came unthinkably close to eradicating humanity. Max Brooks, driven by the urgency of preserving the acid-etched first-hand experiences of the survivors from those apocalyptic years, traveled across the United States of America and throughout the world, from decimated cities that once teemed with upwards of 30 million souls, to the most remote and inhospitable areas of the planet. The Zombie Survival Guide: Complete Protection from the Living Dead (Unabridged) The Zombie Survival Guide is your key to survival against the hordes of undead who may be stalking you right now. Exhaustively comprehensive, this book covers everything you need to know, including how to understand zombie physiology and behavior, the most effective defense tactics and weaponry, ways to outfit your home for a long siege, and how to survive and adapt in any territory or terrain.
©2006 Max Brooks (P)2006 Random House, Inc.
Big things are happening for Mark Scottsdale. He has just graduated from college and is looking forward to starting a new life with his childhood friend and longtime girlfriend, Lisa. So when an old classmate of his offers him a high-paying job working for a new research facility, Mark jumps at the opportunity.
However, all of his dreams come to an abrupt end when Lisa is taken from him by a drunk driver. Distraught and devoid of a reason to live, Mark contemplates suicide. However, before following through on his dark thoughts, Mark has an epiphany: if he could gain access to his company's secret Flicker World project, he just might be able to see his beloved Lisa again after all.
©2016 Brian Cramer (P)2019 Brian Cramer
Now is not the time to start that fitness program! Instead, laugh along with humorist Dave Barry as he debunks, demotivates, and delights on the subject of fitness. Hear his inimitable views on exercise ("the best time would be the first thing after Easter, but not the one coming up"), weights ("big-time lifters have turned into 400-pound hairy sweaty shapeless grunting masses of tissue. And the men are even worse"), and much more.
©1985 Rodale Press (P)1996 by The Audio Partners Publishing Corp.
This story is about a man whose desperation for love drove him to a shady mail order bride agency from the country of Russia. This brief tale shares his gruesome story. His name was John and the only thing he ever wanted was love and companionship, but what he got was a total nightmare.
©2016 Jeffrey Dale Jeschke (P)2016 Jeffrey Dale Jeschke
Ruddy McCann is back in Repo Madness - the laugh-out-loud, thrilling adventure from best-selling author W. Bruce Cameron! Ruddy McCann, former college football star, now Kalkaska, Michigan, repo man, is finally getting his life back on track. He has a beautiful fiancée, Katie Lottner; a somewhat stable job stealing cars; and a lazy, lovable basset hound. With his job suddenly in jeopardy, his fiancée wanting a break, and a new court-ordered psychiatrist insisting he take his medication or violate the terms of his probation, Ruddy finds himself missing the one thing he thought he would be happy to be rid of - the voice of Alan Lottner, dead realtor and Ruddy's future father-in-law. When a woman tells Ruddy that the tragedy that defines his life may in fact be a lie, Ruddy starts to investigate the disappearances of women in the area and soon discovers that his own redemption may be within reach. Alan's voice returns, and Ruddy and Alan work together to bring down a corrupt banker, win back Katie's love, and stop a serial killer before he can strike again.
©2016 Cameron Productions (P)2016 Macmillan Audio
In this Hemingway fiction in our time, author Scott Fivelson takes listeners on a literary journey from Paris to Pamplona, as a marathoner on his last legs reflects on the sport as it might have been written about if Hemingway had been a runner. A Farewell to Legs is both a satire of a classic and a classic satire.
©2013 Scott Fivelson (P)2015 Blackstone Audio, Inc.
Sometimes, superpowers aren't all they're cracked up to be. Kate has enough problems - a boss that's a little too friendly, a sex life that's nonexistent, and a cat with zero tolerance for late meals. The last thing she needs is to be kidnapped, even if it is by a hot Brit. Afterward, she's mysteriously returned and has no memory of what happened. She learns, with the help of an eccentric, sexy woman, that she's been modified - given a power unique to her talents. Sounds cool, right? It would be if she knew how to use it without killing everyone around her. Modified is a funny, sexy, geeky romp about the trouble of acquiring an unexpected and inherently evil superpower. Full of offbeat characters, profanity, and just enough deliciously wicked thoughts, you'll love this fun series. With the bundle edition, you get all five volumes in one!
©2018 Kat Stiles (P)2019 Kat Stiles
Das Jurastudium wird immer trockener, das elterliche Reihenhäuschen immer enger. Die Lösung verspricht ein Job und eine eigene Wohnung. Sich selbst über sein Berufsprofil nicht ganz im Klaren, gelingt Dick in der ominösen Bankanstalt ein rasanter Aufstieg, der Druck wächst. Gleichzeitig wissen die Eltern immer noch nichts von der neuen Wohnung, ein überteuertes Loch in einer üblen Gegend, und schließlich entdeckt er ein lange gehütetes Geheimnis seines Vaters. Dick gerät immer mehr in Bedrängnis und flüchtet sich bald in seine eigene Wirklichkeit als Mobbing Dick. Es beginnt eine packende und extreme Irrfahrt, bei der er immer mehr die Kontrolle über sein Alter Ego verliert.
©2019 Elster & Salis AG (P)2019 Elster & Salis AG
I see dead people. No, not like that movie. Im a coroner, and yes it's the kiss of death on my dating life. When men find out what I do, I'm lucky to hear, It was nice meeting you. Until I almost accidentally kill Blake Hale with my car. Instead of being freaked out by me, hes intrigued. No matter how much I try to scare him off, he keeps coming back for more. And for a follow-the-rules guy, hes breaking them all for me. We couldnt be more different. Hes all goodness and light, with a brain thats even sexier than his six pack. Im danger in a pretty package, and no amount of knocking on wood is going to make the happily ever after hes promising come true. But.... With each word we exchange, my resolve weakens. With each heated look, he gets further into my soul. With every kiss, he consumes me by accepting me just as I am. I deal in death all day. He sells life...insurance. What could possibly go wrong when I start believing in Mr. Right? Drop Dead Gorgeous is a full-length meet-cute romance...with a twist! It is a stand-alone.
©2021 Lauren Landish (P)2021 Lauren Landish
She thought she was running away from her past, not catching up with it. Rosemary Bell just wants to live a quiet, happy life and raise her daughter as far away from her toxic ex-husband as she can get. But when they move into a decrepit cottage in the woods of Mosswood, Georgia, Rosie realizes her life will never be simple. A gang of meddling neighborhood do-gooders want to run her out of town. The vicious laundromat machines keep eating her spare change. Not to mention, her buff Irish stalker who insists that he's a Witch King and that it's her royal destiny to be his Queen. And to top it all off, strange things keep happening around Rosie when she least expects it.... She could deal with it all, but her ex won't rest until he tracks her down. When her ability to protect her daughter is threatened, Rosie shows them all that nobody messes with the new witch on the block.
©2020 Louisa West (P)2021 Tantor
Jenny doesnt know what theyll do when they find out shes a wicked witch. She cant help being a wicked witch. Its in her blood. Shes supposed to eat children, blast people with witchfire, and plot dark deeds with her foul-mouthed imp familiar, Jizzimus. Instead, shes rescued a girl, Kay, from a band of people traffickers. To keep her safe they have signed up for a college course in an English country mansion. Jizzimus is not impressed. The mansion is not the safe haven they thought it would be. They say they want to turn good witches into great witches, but witches are going missing, there are far more ghosts round here than there ought to be and there is something huge and terrible in the woods. If Jenny thought that messing up her witchcraft coursework and getting distracted by the handsome gardener was going to be the worst of her problems, shes dead wrong. With new witch friends, sexy mind-controller Caroline and soft-hearted herbalist Dee, Jennys determined to get to the bottom of this mystery. It turns out that at Effie Frays training college you have to learn fast or die trying. Youll love this fun-loving witch academy audiobook because sometimes it needs friends to show us how to be a better version of ourselves.
©2018 Heide Goody and Iain Grant (P)2020 Heide Goody and Iain Grant
Have you ever wished you could live in an earlier, more romantic era? Ladies, welcome to the 19th century, where there's arsenic in your face cream, a pot of cold pee sits under your bed, and all of your underwear is crotchless. (Why? Shush, dear. A lady doesn't question.) Unmentionable is your hilarious, scandalously honest (yet never crass) guide to the secrets of Victorian womanhood, giving you detailed advice on: What to wear Where to relieve yourself How to conceal your loathsome addiction to menstruating What to expect on your wedding night How to be the perfect Victorian wife Why masturbating will kill you And more Irresistibly charming, laugh-out-loud funny, Unmentionable will inspire a whole new level of respect for Elizabeth Bennett, Scarlett O'Hara, Jane Eyre, and all of our great-great-grandmothers. (And it just might leave you feeling ecstatically grateful to live in an age of pants, superabsorbency tampons, epidurals, antidepressants, and not dying of the syphilis your husband brought home.) PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying reference material will be available in your Library section along with the audio.
©2016 Therese Oneill (P)2016 Hachette Audio
The holiday film A Christmas Story, first released in 1983, has become a bona fide Christmas perennial, gaining in stature and fame with each succeeding year. Its affectionate, wacky, and wryly realistic portrayal of an American family's typical Christmas joys and travails in small-town Depression-era Indiana has entered our imagination and our hearts with a force equal to It's a Wonderful Life and Miracle on 34th Street. This audio production of A Christmas Story gathers together in one hilarious volume the gems of autobiographical humor that Jean Shepherd drew upon to create this enduring film. Here is young Ralphie Parker's shocking discovery that his decoder ring is really a device to promote Ovaltine; his mother and father's pitched battle over the fate of a lascivious leg lamp; the unleashed and unnerving savagery of Ralphie's duel in the snow with the odious bullies Scut Farkas and Grover Dill; and, most crucially, Ralphie's unstoppable campaign to get Santa, or anyone else, to give him a Red Ryder carbine action 200-shot range model air rifle. Who cares that the whole adult world is telling him, "You'll shoot your eye out, kid"? The pieces that comprise A Christmas Story, previously published in the larger collections In God We Trust: All Others Pay Cash and Wanda Hickey's Night of Golden Memories, coalesce in a magical fashion to become an irresistible piece of Americana, quite the equal of the film in its ability to warm the heart and tickle the funny bone.
©2003 The Estate of Jean Shepherd (P)2004 Random House Inc. Random House Audio, a divison of Random House, Inc.
Eugene Debs Hartke (named after the famous early 20th century Socialist working class leader) describes an odyssey from college professor to prison inmate to prison warden back again to prisoner in another of Vonnegut's bitter satirical explorations of how and where (and why) the American dream begins to die. Employing his characteristic narrative device - a retrospective diary in which the protagonist retraces his life at its end, a desperate and disconnected series of events here in Hocus Pocus show Vonnegut with his mask off and his rhetorical devices unshielded. Debs (and Vonnegut) see academia just as imprisoning as the corrupt penal system and they regard politics as the furnishing and marketing of lies. Debs, already disillusioned by circumstance, quickly tracks his way toward resignation and then fury. As warden and prisoner, Debs (and the reader) come to understand that the roles are interchangeable; as a professor jailed for "radical" statements in the classroom reported by a reactionary student, he comes to see the folly of all regulation. The "hocus pocus" of the novel's title does not describe only the jolting reversals and seemingly motiveless circumstance which attend Debs' disillusion and suffering, but also describe the political, social, and economic system of a country built upon can't, and upon the franchising of lies. At 68, Vonnegut had not only abandoned the sentiment and cracked optimism manifest in Slaughterhouse-Five, he had abandoned any belief in the system or faith for its recovery. This novel is another in a long series of farewells to the farmland funeral rites of childhood.
©1990 Kurt Vonnegut (P)2015 Audible Inc.
Beyond the third floor! When Morgan got hit by a car and died on Earth, he never imagined that he would be chosen by a god, little g, to be taken to another planet - a World governed by game-like rules. Especially since said god liked to have people call him the Great Lord, and had basically created an entire World to run experiments in. Nor could Morgan have ever imagined that he would find one thing that he had never really had on Earth: a real family. It's been years since Morgan started his second chance at life on that world, and both he and his friends have achieved great power as part of a Great Raid: a group of people bent on climbing beyond the third floor of the Tower of Power, to the floors from which no one has ever before returned. They had lost friends in their climb, but who remain share the same drive to be the first to pass the Great Lord's test. But there are dangers in the Tower beyond what they could even imagine...and not all of them even belong there. Their raid group will need both luck and cunning if they are to survive all that the Tower can throw at them. But, in the end, only one thing is certain - no matter what, all of them will need to pay the Tower's price.
©2020 Ivan Kal (P)2020 Tantor
Whoever said singles were missing out by not finding true love and getting married before the age of 30 had never experienced the sheer pleasure of nightly romantic comedy viewings in their underwear while eating one of Licked's famous Crazy Cat Lady sundaes. Because life just doesn't get better than that. At least, it doesn't for Shayne Callahan. It didn't take more than a handful of broken hearts after college to solidify that she was better at pairing up those around her than herself. As a matchmaker at the elite HLS - Hook, Line, & Sinker Matchmaking Company - in the City of Angels, she has a knack for finding the other halves of even the most eccentric clients: Sugar daddy with a foot fetish? Gross, but no problem. A severe case of nudophobia? Match made before lunch. But even the most happily independent of women can find their best-laid plans screeching to a halt when they meet that guy. For Shayne, that guy comes in the form of boyishly handsome, suspender-lovin', dimple-poppin' Nate Ryan on a pantsless (we'll get to that later) Metro ride. Of course, relationships can never be easy. Before the destined lovers can ride off into the sunset, they must overcome a power-hungry and sexual-punning boss, a celebrity scandal and cover-up, and let's not forget Shayne's dreadful foot-in-mouth disease - with which there can never be a happily ever after.
©2016 Brooke Blaine (P)2020 Dreamscape Media, LLC
I didnt mean to kidnap the groom. It was an accident. Mostly.... At least I didn't take much time to plan it. It was more of a spur of the moment kidnapping. Does that count? One minute, the towns bad boy is standing at the altar about to marry the worlds most evil kindergarten teacher. The next, hes passed out in my Vespa sidecar with his bride hot on our tail. But I didn't have a choice! I couldn't stand by and watch Jace ODell be blackmailed into a loveless marriage. And besides, whats a little kidnapping between friends? Okay, so maybe were not just friends.... And maybe I cant quit thinking about that night at his bar when he closed up early and had me on the rocks. And maybe this crazy stunt is going to blow up in both of our faces. If it does, Im blaming the moonshine. Even though the only thing Im hammered on when it comes to Jace is love - straight up, no chaser.
©2019 Pippa Grant and Lili Valente (P)2019 Pippa Grant and Lili Valente
Academy Award nominee Samuel L. Jackson (Pulp Fiction) rocks this mock bedtime story, capturing a hilarious range of emotions as the voice of a father struggling to get his child to sleep. Go the F--k to Sleep is a bedtime book for parents who live in the real world, where a few snoozing kitties and cutesy rhymes dont always send a toddler sailing blissfully off to dreamland. California Book Award-winning author Adam Mansbachs profane, affectionate, and radically honest verses perfectly capture the familiar - and unspoken - tribulations of putting your little angel down for the night. In the process, he opens up a conversation about parenting, granting us permission to admit our frustrations and laugh at their absurdity. Beautiful, subversive, and pants-wettingly funny, Go the F**k to Sleep is a book for parents new, old, and expectant. Due to its explicit language, you probably should not play it for your children. Feel free to share the link to this page with tired parents and other people who could use a good swear and a laugh.
©2011 Adam Mansbach. Cover Illustration © 2011 Ricardo Cortes. (P)2011 Audible, Inc.
Indie Next Pick for February 2020 Book of the Month January 2020 LibraryReads January 2020 Pick Bookreporter New Release Spotlight New York Post Best Books of the Week Goodreads Januarys Most Anticipated New Books The Saturday Evening Post 10 Books for the New Year PopSugar Best Books in January Book Riot Best Winter New Releases Zelda is a marvel, a living, breathing three-dimensional character with a voice so distinctive she leaps off the page. (The New York Times) Heartwarming and unforgettable. (People) For Zelda, a 21-year-old Viking enthusiast who lives with her older brother, Gert, life is best lived with some basic rules: A smile means thank you for doing something small that I liked. Fist bumps and dabs = respect. Strange people are not appreciated in her home. Tomatoes must go in the middle of the sandwich and not get the bread wet. Sometimes the most important things dont fit on lists. But when Zelda finds out that Gert has resorted to some questionable - and dangerous - methods to make enough money to keep them afloat, Zelda decides to launch her own quest. Her mission: to be legendary. It isnt long before Zelda finds herself in a battle that tests the reach of her heroism, her love for her brother, and the depth of her Viking strength. A most welcome and wonderful debut (Tyrell Johnson, author of The Wolves of Winter), When We Were Vikings is an uplifting debut about an unlikely heroine whose journey will leave you wanting to embark on a quest of your own, because after all...we are all legends of our own making.
©2020 Andrew David MacDonald (P)2020 Simon & Schuster Audio
Après une dernière frasque qui a failli les détruire, elle et la réputation durement gagnée de sa famille, Alexia Myers, étudiante, décide de reprendre sa vie en mains. Transférée dans une nouvelle université, loin de tout ce qu'elle connaît, elle s'applique à être tout le contraire de ce qu'elle était auparavant. Une nouvelle - et meilleure - version d'elle-même. Lorsqu'elle rencontre Asher, Lexi fait tout pour le garder à distance : son ancienne vie est derrière elle. Asher Monroe vit au jour le jour. Son quotidien se résume à ses études et son travail au Shark's Bay, le café restaurant qu'il gère avec sa belle-sur. Et là, justement, ils ont besoin d'engager un nouvel employé. Lorsque Lexi se présente pour répondre à leur annonce, il croit à une mauvaise blague. Ce genre de filles, il les connaît et il n'est pas question qu'il se laisse embobiner. Il a assez de chats à fouetter comme ça, avec les ennuis qui touchent sa famille. Cependant, malgré son animosité évidente envers la jeune femme, Ash est obligé de travailler avec elle - à ses yeux, pour le pire.
©2017 Maddie D (P)2020 Audible Studios
Contains books eight and nine of the Bob and Nikki series! Shaved Ape Key, book eight Theres room for you, and theres room for me. Everybodys going to Shaved Ape Key. What do you do when you cant give away a space carrier? Learn to be the best captain you can. If one of your most loyal bots has unfinished business, you have to send him out to finish it up, dont you? Come along as Bob faces his new responsibilities as captain of the B.S. Gene Cernan. And dont forget to sing along.... Secret Squirrels, book nine The Squirrels want Bob and the Gene out of their sky. Bob just wants to get along, maybe do a little business. How can he convince them he means no harm? Does he have to show them that they dont want him for an enemy, just to get their attention?
©2020 Jerry Boyd (P)2020 Podium Audio
Patrick McManus, author of How I Got This Way and one of America's favorite humorists, is an impish commentator on the obvious and not so obvious absurdities of modern life. His national best seller, The Night the Bear Ate Goombaw, is a collection of hilarious short pieces about fishing, its exotic equipment, and activities like "gunkholing." You will learn, for example, that the best way to learn to fish is to build an addition to your house first. It should be big enough to hold all the nifty fishing equipment you will cart home from sporting goods stores and garage sales. McManus cheerfully guides you through the finer points of becoming a skilled garage-sale shopper, too. Be prepared to enter a quixotic universe that works according to the laws of "synch" and marvelously loopy chains of cause and effect. The title selection takes place on an ill-fated camping trip; other selections include "Kid Brothers and Their Practical Application", and "As the Worm Squirms".
©1989 Patrick F. McManus (P)1996 Recorded Books, LLC
We live in a world of signs. But not everybody has to trade in them.... Alex-Li Tandem sells autographs. A small blip in a huge worldwide network of desire, his business is to hunt for names on paper, collect them, sell them, and occasionally fake them - all to give the people what they want: a little piece of Fame. But what does Alex want? Only the return of his father, the reinstatement of some kind of all-powerful, benevolent God-type figure, the end of religion, something for his headache, three different girls, infinite grace, and the rare autograph of '40s movie actress Kitty Alexander. With fries. The Autograph Man is a deeply funny existential tour around the hollow things of modernity: celebrity, cinema, and the ugly triumph of symbol over experience. Through London and then New York, searching for the only autograph that has ever mattered to him, Alex follows the paper trail while resisting the mystical lure of Kabbalah and Zen, and avoiding all collectors, con men, and interfering rabbis who would put themselves in his path. Pushing against the tide of his generation, Alex-Li is on his way to finding enlightenment, otherwise known as some part of himself that cannot be signed, celebrated, or sold. Cover title lettering by Leanne Shapton.
©2003 Zadie Smith (P)2018 Random House Audio
In San Francisco, the souls of the dead are mysteriously disappearing - and you know that can't be good - in New York Times best-selling author Christopher Moore's delightfully funny sequel to A Dirty Job. Something really strange is happening in the City by the Bay. People are dying, but their souls are not being collected. Someone - or something - is stealing them. No one knows where they are going or why, but it has something to do with that big orange bridge. Death merchant Charlie Asher is just as flummoxed as everyone else. He's trapped in the body of a 14-inch-tall "meat puppet", waiting for his Buddhist nun girlfriend, Audrey, to find him a suitable new body to play host. To get to the bottom of this abomination, a motley crew of heroes will band together: the seven-foot-tall death merchant Minty Fresh, retired policeman-turned-bookseller Alphonse Rivera, the emperor of San Francisco and his dogs, and Lily, the former Goth girl. Now if only they can get little Sophie to stop babbling about the coming battle for the very soul of humankind.
©2015 Christopher Moore (P)2015 Harper Audio
This program is read by Noah Galvin, who starred in Dear Evan Hansen, The Real O'Neals, and Booksmart. "A Star is Bored is an absolute knockout. Riotously funny and wickedly tender." (Taylor Jenkins Reid, New York Times best-selling author of Daisy Jones and the Six) People Magazine Best Book of Summer 2020 - Named a Must-Read Summer book by Town & Country - Named One of the 14 Best Books of Summer 2020 by Harper's Bazaar - One of Library Journal's 2020 "Titles to Watch" - One of the 30 Best Beach Reads According to Parade Magazine The Devil Wears Prada meets Postcards from the Edge in a hilariously heartfelt novel influenced in part by the authors time assisting Carrie Fisher. Charlie Besson is tense and sweating as he prepares for an insane job interview. His car is idling, like his life, outside the Hollywood mansion of Kathi Kannon. The Kathi Kannon, star of stage and screen and People Magazines worst dressed list. She needs an assistant. He needs a hero. Kathi is an icon, best-selling author, and an award winning actress, most known for her role as Priestess Talara in a blockbuster sci-fi film. Shes also known in another role: crazy. Admittedly so. Famously so. Fabulously so, as Charlie quickly discovers. Their three-year odyssey is filled with late-night shopping sprees, last-minute trips to see the aurora borealis, and an initiation to that most sacred of Hollywood tribes: the personal assistant. But Kathi becomes much more than a boss, and as their friendship grows, Charlie must make a choice. Will he always be on the sidelines of life, assisting the great forces that be, or can he step into his own leading role? Laugh-out-loud funny and searingly poignant, Byron Lane's A Star Is Bored is a novel that, like the star at its center, is enchanting and joyous, heartbreaking, and hopeful. A Macmillan Audio production from Henry Holt and Company
©2020 Byron Lane (P)2020 Macmillan Audio
Young Noah Adler, passionate, ruthlessly idealistic, is the prodigal son of Montreals Jewish ghetto. Finding tradition in league with self-delusion, he attempts to shatter the ghettos illusory walls by entering the foreign territory of the goyim. But here, freedom and self-determination continue to elude him. Eventually, Noah comes to recognize "justice and safety and a kind of felicity" in a world he cannot - entirely - leave behind. Richlers superb account of Noahs struggle to scale the walls of the ghetto overflows with rich comic satire. Son of a Smaller Hero is a compassionate, penetrating account of the nature of belonging, told with the savage realism for which Mordecai Richlers fiction is celebrated.
©1972 Mordecai Richler (P)2013 Audible, Inc.
All 14 episodes of the legal sitcom about a group of barristers who never let justice get in the way of making money. John Fuller-Carp, the Machiavellian head of chambers at Forecourt Buildings, is determined to become a QC and will perform almost any moral contortion to achieve his goal. When left-wing Ruth Quirke, rumoured to be a High Court judge's daughter, applies to join his chambers, Fuller-Carp's imagination goes into overdrive and promotion seems inevitable. However, his attempts to project a 'New Labour' image cut no ice with Ruth, and the two are soon at each other's throats. Fortunately, his partner Hilary Tripping is much easier to manage (if somewhat ineffectual) and his clerk Vince, though deeply dodgy, is happy to put his criminal contacts and underworld cunning at Fuller-Carp's disposal. In these three series, he ends up on the wrong side of the law, is embarrassed over animal rights, tries to join the Masons and gets embroiled in a bet with a rival barrister. Meanwhile, Ruth gets a job as a 'Legal Eagle' on breakfast telly, decides to adopt a baby and fakes a family for a client while Fuller-Carp fiddles the books. And when a legal firm invites John, Ruth and Hilary on a team-building outward-bound weekend, disaster ensues.... Clive Coleman's sitcom set in perhaps the country's least spectacular law chambers stars John Bird as John Fuller-Carp, with James Fleet as Hilary Tripping and Lesley Sharp and Sarah Lancashire as Ruth Quirke. Among the guest stars are Peter Serafinowcz, Sanjeev Bhaskar and Rebecca Front. Production credits Written by Clive Coleman Produced by Paul Schlesinger First broadcast BBC Radio 4, 17th April-15th May1996 (Series 1), 11th May-8th June 1998 (Series 2), 9th-30th March 1999 (Series 3) Starring John Bird and Sarah Lancashire
©2020 BBC Studios Distribution Ltd (P)2020 BBC Studios Distribution Ltd
It's the end of the world as we know it, but someone still needs to do the paperwork. Incomprehensible horrors from beyond are going to devour our world, but thats no excuse to get all emotional about it. Morag Murray works for the secret government organization responsible for making sure the apocalypse goes as smoothly and as quietly as possible. In her first week on the job, Morag has to hunt down a man-eating starfish, solve a supernatural murder, and, if she's got time, prevent her own inevitable death. Oddjobs is a sideswipe at the world of work and a fantastical adventure featuring amphibian wannabe gangstas, mad old cat ladies, ancient gods, apocalyptic scrabble, fish porn, telepathic curry, and, possibly, the end of the world before the weekend.
©2016 Heide Goody and Iain Grant (P)2018 Heide Goody and Iain Grant
T2 Trainspotting was previously published as Porno. Now a major film directed by Danny Boyle reuniting the cast of Trainspotting. Years on from Trainspotting Sick Boy is back in Edinburgh after a long spell in London. Having failed spectacularly as a hustler, pimp, husband, father and businessman, Sick Boy taps into an opportunity which to him represents one last throw of the dice. However, to realise his ambitions within the Adult industries, Sick Boy must team up with old pal and fellow exile Mark Renton. Still scheming, still scamming, Sick Boy and Renton soon find out that they have unresolved issues to address concerning the unhinged Begbie, the troubled, drug-addled Spud, but, most of all, with each other.
©2002 Irvine Welsh (P)2002 Random House Audiobooks
Cathleen Schine's brilliantly funny new novel revolves around one city block in Manhattan, a quiet little block near Central Park kept humble by rent control. Living on a street like this in New York with a dog is like living in a tiny village, one that has a rhythm all its own. Dogs bring people together unexpectedly, people who would otherwise never meet. And the dogs act as cupids for the people who live on the block (quiet, struggling, sometimes lonely, eccentric, old and young, male and female) who are, in their ways, romantics, as all New Yorkers secretly tend to be. Walking her dog, Beatrice, Jody falls under the spell of Everett's bewitching smile. Everett begins to appreciate his post-divorce life only when he falls in love with Howdy, Polly's puppy. Polly lives with her brother, George, and wants him to fall in love. George isn't so much looking for a love life as for life direction, and Howdy leads him right to it. Doris hates the trash on her block, she hates the pee on her SUV's tires, and, above all, she hates dogs. That is, until she gets one of her own. In The New Yorkers, as in life, canine companions compel their masters to go outside of themselves, to take part in the community they live in, to make friends, and, sometimes, to fall in love.
©2007 Cathleen Schine (P)2007 HighBridge Company
From the author of The Days of Abandonment comes The Lost Daughter, Elena Ferrante's most compelling and perceptive meditation on womanhood and motherhood yet. Leda, a middle-aged divorcee, is alone for the first time in years when her daughters leave home to live with their father. Her initial, unexpected sense of liberty turns to ferocious introspection following a seemingly trivial occurrence. Throughout the novel, Ferrante's language is as finely tuned and intense as ever, and she treats her theme with a fierce, candid tenacity.
©2006 Edizioni E/O. Translation ©2008 by Europa Editions (P)2015 Blackstone Audio, Inc.
Jan ist zutiefst verletzt - Sophie hat ihre Affäre mit Mark vor ihm verheimlicht! Er zieht sich zurück, da steht eines Abends Katinka bei ihm vor der Tür: Wie soll das mit der Radioshow jetzt weitergehen? Obwohl Jan eigentlich lieber mit sich alleine wäre, lässt er seine Redakteurin rein... In der Zwischenzeit taucht Mark wie immer unangemeldet bei Sophie auf - doch die ist mit ihrem Kopf gerade ganz woanders. Hat sie ihren geliebten Anti-Match Jan für immer verloren? In deiner Audible-Bibliothek findest du für dieses Hörerlebnis eine PDF-Datei mit zusätzlichem Material.>> Diese Hörspiel-Serie genießt du exklusiv nur bei Audible.
©2016 Anna Basener (P)2016 Audible Studios
A Recommended Book of the Season for Vanity Fair, Entertainment Weekly, Vulture, The Millions, Publishers Weekly, and Esquire.
From best-selling author Patrick deWitt, a brilliant and darkly comic novel about a wealthy widow and her adult son who flee New York for Paris in the wake of scandal and financial disintegration.
Frances Price - tart widow, possessive mother, and Upper East Side force of nature - is in dire straits, beset by scandal and impending bankruptcy. Her adult son Malcolm is no help, mired in a permanent state of arrested development. And then theres the Prices aging cat, Small Frank, who Frances believes houses the spirit of her late husband, an infamously immoral litigator and world-class cad whose gruesome tabloid death rendered Frances and Malcolm social outcasts.
Putting penury and pariahdom behind them, the family decides to cut their losses and head for the exit. One ocean voyage later, the curious trio land in their beloved Paris, the City of Light serving as a backdrop not for love or romance, but self destruction and economical ruin - to riotous effect. A number of singular characters serve to round out the cast: a bashful private investigator, an aimless psychic proposing a seance, and a doctor who makes house calls with his wine merchant in tow, to name a few.
Brimming with pathos, French Exit is a one-of-a-kind "tragedy of manners", a send-up of high society as well as a moving mother/son caper that only Patrick deWitt could conceive and execute.
©2018 Patrick deWitt (P)2018 Audible, Inc.
A compilation of funny, irreverently reverent stories on aligning with the Divine in daily life. For the passionately spiritual and bemusedly skeptical alike. Adapted from a popular column originally published as "San Francisco's Spiritual Examiner" at examiner.com. "What if God IS the story? What if the Divine is constantly igniting roadside flares to get our attention? What if there actually IS a Supreme Organizing Principle with a ribald and unbridled sense of humor? And what if we each have this ardent inner suitor who's writing us love letters every day that often go unopened?" What if indeed? Read on. Author Bio: Tosha Silver grew up thinking one day she would be a rabbi, a lawyer or a weathergirl. But fate had other ideas. She graduated from Yale with a degree in English Literature but along the way fell madly in love with metaphysics and yogic philosophy. For the last 30 years she has taught many ways to align with the inner Divine. She lives near San Francisco and also writes a spiritual column at examiner.com. More information at www.toshasilver.com
©2011 Tosha Silver (P)2012 Tosha Silver
You think youre struggling to find your place in the universe? Consider poor old Colin Douglass, a terminally ill insurance agent who awakens from centuries in cryogenic freeze to find Earth is a devastated wasteland. Now, hes being pursued by a homicidal interstellar tourist board, and calculating insurance dividends is as outdated as making stone axes. Sci-fi-hating technophobe Colin embarks on a desperate struggle to find a cure for his illness, as well as a place for himself in this strange new galaxy where toilets talk back, and door handles are a long-forgotten relic. Only by teaming up with his rescuer, hard-boiled, space-traveling archaeologist Tyresa Jak (thats Doctor Jak to you), can Colin hope to succeed before time runs out. Along the way, this galactic odd-couple must evade the Erd Tourist Board - a powerful mega-corporation which will do anything to ensure the mythical Earth stays mythical - and deal with a crackpot religious cult who not only possess a cure for Colins illness, but who also believe there is more to this caveman from Earth than meets the eye.... Don't miss the start of this side-splitting intergalactic adventure. It's perfect for fans of Guardians of the Galaxy, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, and Space Team.
©2019 Aethon Books (P)2019 Audible, Inc.
Go big or go gnome. The New York Times best-selling authors of Kill the Farm Boy welcome you to the world of Pell, the irreverent fantasy universe that recalls Monty Python and Terry Pratchett. "A complete delight, as fluffy and fun as The Lego Movie and as heartfelt as Harry Potter and the Sorcerers Stone." (Locus) War is coming, and its gonna be Pell. On one side stand the gnomes: smol, cheerful, possessing tidy cardigans and no taste for cruelty. On the other side sit the halflings, proudly astride their war alpacas, carrying bags of grenades and hungry for a fight. And pretty much anything else. It takes only one halfling bomb, and Offi Numminens world is turned upside-down - or downside-up, really, since he lives in a hole in the ground. His goth cardigans and aggressive melancholy set him apart from the other gnomes, as does his decision to fight back against their halfling oppressors. Suddenly Offi is the leader of a band of lovable misfits and outcasts - from a gryphon who would literally kill for omelets to a young dwarf herbalist who is better with bees than with his cudgel to an assertive and cheerful teen witch with a beard as long as her book of curses - all on a journey to the Toot Towers to confront the dastardly villain intent on tearing Pell asunder. These adventurers never fit in anywhere else, but as they become friends, fight mermaids, and get really angry at this one raccoon, they learn that theres nothing more heroic than being yourself. In No Country for Old Gnomes, Delilah S. Dawson and Kevin Hearne lovingly tweak the tropes of fantasy and fairy tales. Here youll find goofy jokes and whimsical puns, but youll also find a diverse, feminist, and lighthearted approach to fantasy that will bring a smile to your face and many fine cheeses to your plate.
©2019 Kevin Hearne and Delilah S. Dawson (P)2019 Random House Audio
An empty suit of armor is the hero in this witty novella, a picaresque gem - now available in an independent volume for the first time - that brilliantly parodies medieval knighthood. Set in the time of Charlemagne and narrated by a nun with her own secrets to keep, The Nonexistent Knight tells the story of Agilulf, a gleaming white suit of armor with nothing inside it. A challenge to his honor sends Agilulf on a search through France, England, and North Africa to confirm the chastity of a virgin he saved from rape years earlier. In the end, after many surprising turns of plot, a closing confession draws this sparkling novella to a perfect finish.
©1959 Giulio Einaudi Editor, S.p.A. (P)2018 Recorded Books
Julie a 30 ans et n'a, jusque-là, jamais rien géré de plus que sa petite vie. Alors qu'elle n'attendait plus de réponse de la part de son prod, celui-ci l'appelle pour lui annoncer une grande nouvelle : "je crois qu'on va le faire ton film !" Ni une ni deux, elle se retrouve à la table des lectures, sur le plateau de tournage, toujours en proie aux caprices d'une superstar américaine, mal entourée d'une script borderline, d'un agent hystérique et d'une mère toxique, ou encore en pleine galère promotionnelle avec Augustin Trapenard. Faire un film c'est prendre 10 ans en 6 mois et en même temps elle en avait bien besoin. Liste du casting complet : Avec la participation de Rebecca Zlotovski, Augustin Trapenard et l'équipe du Masque et la plume. Avec Agnès Hurstel dans le rôle de Julie et les voix de Christophe Montenez de la Comédie Française, Pauline Clément de la Comédie Française, Fanny Cottençon, Claude Perron, Antoine Gouy, Nicolas Briançon, Félicien Juttner, Marion Christmann Chloé Berthier, Pauline Devi, Amaury de Crayencourt et Pierre Samuel.
©2020 Audible Studios (P)2020 Audible Studios
My mother wants all her kids and grandkids to spend Christmas Eve at her house and wake up on Christmas morning together. Sounds reasonable, right? And it would be. If it werent my mother. My husband, Declan, is protesting any involvement, though hes openly intrigued by the idea of claiming his territory by having sex in my childhood bed. And by intrigued, I mean a series of really hot suggestions that make me whimper when I have to say no. Wait - why am I saying no, again? Mom has turned her house into a Christmas showcase that makes Frankenmuth look like the picked-over clearance rack at Target on December 26. You know those crazy people on Etsy who make felted gnomes out of belly-button lint and use
a certain kind of hair
to make thatched roofs on little decorative elf homes? Those people are saner than my mother. There is no force of nature stronger - or more emotionally volatile - than a 50-something grandmother determined to create holiday memories. Wait a minute. Maybe there is. My husband.
©2018 Julia Kent (P)2018 Prosaic Press
A mystery/road trip/buddy comedy/action adventure from the author of Second Hand Curses. A dance club full of bodies. Cause of death - a mystery. The lone survivor - a man, raving like a lunatic, wearing only a deerstalker hat. Now, the man who calls himself Sherman Holmes is being studied like a lab rat by a top-secret government agency. How is it he can be barely clinging to reality one minute - yet be a seeming genius the next? Within his brain might just be the greatest scientific breakthrough of the millennium, if anyone can figure out how to access it. Enter the agent code named Watson. Once a rising star, a deadly betrayal sent him spiraling into uncertainty and paranoia. Now saddled with moving Sherman to a more-secure facility, he must prove hes still up to the task. With enemies on their heels, a whole country to cross, and Sherman ranting in his ear, the job proves to be more of a challenge than Watson ever anticipated. With Watsons experience and the bizarre insights of his own twisted mind, Sherman just might survive. But can Watson survive Sherman?
©2019 Andrew Hayes (P)2019 Audible Originals, LLC.
Morgan used to be a pretty normal guy. He went to college by day and played online games by night, leading his guild into new conquests - until he got hit by a car and a dude wearing a wet suit appeared in front of him. The man offered him a new chance at life in a world he had created, a world with similar rules to the games Morgan loved to play. There is the promise of great rewards and power, he says, if Morgan manages to complete the Tower of Power. Stupid name, I know. Morgan didn't usually trust strangers who seem to have god complexes, but he was in a pinch. There's a crazy-looking dude saying he is technically not a god on one end of the tunnel and a blinding light on the other end - and he was really not digging the light. So he accepted the offer from the surfer god-not-god. Getting dropped into a strange new world with no idea what the rules are was not something Morgan was a fan of; and in this strange world, it seems like everything is out to eat his face. It was a good thing, then, that he stumbled onto two half-elf twins willing to help him get the hang of this strange new world. Now, all he needs to do is survive long enough to reach this tower.
©2018 Ivan Kal (P)2019 Tantor
For the first time in one audio collection, all 16 Yes Minister radio episodes plus six further TV episodes, 14 Yes Prime Minister episodes and two bonus sketches. Between 1980 and 1988 on BBC television and radio, the exploits of the Rt Hon Jim Hacker MP (Paul Eddington) - later Prime Minister - kept the British nation enthralled. Helped - and hampered - by his diligent Permanent Secretary Sir Humphrey Appleby (Nigel Hawthorne) and his Principle Private Secretary Bernard Woolley (Derek Fowlds), Hacker and his department became synonymous with government bureaucracy and administrative double dealing. Presented here, for the first time in one collection, are the complete radio series of Yes Minister and the complete BBC television soundtracks of Yes Prime Minister. Also included are six TV soundtracks of Yes Minister and two special bonus mini-episodes: "The PMs Plan", recorded in 1984 with Margaret Thatcher as herself, and a special segment created for "The Funny Side of Christmas" in 1982.
©2014 BBC Worldwide Ltd (P)2014 BBC Worldwide Ltd
Carter Billings: With sandy blond hair and Hollywood good looks, Carter could have any woman he wants. When he makes his bid for governor of California, he knows he must settle down and become a family man. His choice for a running mate between the sheets: matchmaker Eliza Havens. Eliza Havens: Elizas happy that her best friend has a wealthy, adoring husband. Its the husbands best friend - sexy, dashing Carter Billings - that drives her crazy. No man has ever squabbled with Eliza this much
or made her heart race this fast. Matching couples is how she earns a living, but long-held secrets mean getting married isnt an option. Until now.
©2013 Catherine Bybee (P)2013 Brilliance Audio, Inc.
I gave everything to my job. Untiring hard work. Dedication unmatched by anything else. My entire life revolved around my career. Despite all that, I didnt get the promotion I was hoping for. I got the boot. They say the best revenge is a life well-lived, and Im determined to show them by landing on my feet. The last place I ever expected to land was in the small town of Billingsley, Texas. I long ago vowed never to return to the memories it holds of the worst one-night stand ever. Unfortunately, skipping your best friends wedding is not an option. Neither is avoiding Billy, the one man who managed to turn my world upside down in a single evening. The man Ive been burying myself in work to stop thinking about. But all I have is time now. And hes not as easy to run from as I thought.... There are four stand-alone books in the Billingsley series. Chasing Hannah follows the story of Hannah and Billy.
©2018 Melissa Ellen (P)2020 Melissa Ellen
Träum weiter, Schwesterherz. Bea reicht's: Ihre Tochter ist gerade ausgezogen, und der Mann dankt ihr die jahrelange Brutpflege mit einer Affäre. Kurzentschlossen macht sie sich auf den Weg zu ihrer Schwester Karin nach San Sebastián. Ein gefährliches Unterfangen, denn Karin ist überzeugte Aussteigerin und gerät mit Kontrollfreak Bea sofort wieder aneinander. Aber in der Not müssen sich beide zusammenraufen. Zwischen Tapas, Strand und Vino findet Bea dann doch wieder Spaß am Leben und gerät an einen Mann, der zum Träumen einlädt. Ganz so einfach lässt sich ihr altes Leben aber nicht abschütteln - und die Schwester erst recht nicht.
©2017 Ullstein Buchverlag (P)2020 Hörbuch Hamburg HHV GmbH
God, bored, decides that Earth has had its day - unless two idealistic angels can make a miracle happen. Welcome to Heaven, Inc., the grossly mismanaged corporation in the sky. For as long as anyone can remember, the founder and CEO (known in some circles as "God") has been phoning it in. Lately, he's been spending most of his time on the golf course. And when he does show up at work, it's not to resolve wars or end famines, but to Google himself and read what humans have been blogging about him. When God decides to retire (to pursue his lifelong dream of opening an Asian Fusion restaurant), he also decides to destroy Earth. His employees take the news in stride, except for Craig and Eliza, two underpaid angels in the lowly Department of Miracles. Unlike their boss, Craig and Eliza love their jobs - uncapping city fire hydrants on hot days, revealing lost keys in snow banks - and they refuse to accept that Earth is going under. The angels manage to strike a deal with their boss. He'll call off his Armageddon if they can solve their toughest miracle yet: getting the two most socially awkward humans on the planet to fall in love. With doomsday fast approaching, and the humans ignoring every chance for happiness thrown their way, Craig and Eliza must move heaven and Earth to rescue them - and the rest of us, too.
©2012 Simon Rich (P)2012 Hachette
From the author of The 100-Year-Old Man Who Climbed Out the Window and Disappeared comes a picaresque tale of how one persons actions can have far-reaching - even global - consequences On June 14, 2007, the king and the prime minister of Sweden went missing from a gala banquet at the royal castle. Later it was said that both had fallen ill, but the truth is different. The real story starts much earlier, in 1961, with the birth of Nombeko Mayeki in a shack in Soweto. Nombeko was fated to grow up fast and die early in her poverty-stricken township, be it from drugs, alcohol, or just plain despair. But Nombeko takes a different path. She finds work as a housecleaner and eventually makes her way up to the position of chief advisor, at the helm of one of the worlds most secret projects. Here is where the tale merges with then diverges from reality. South Africa developed six nuclear missiles in the 1980s, then voluntarily dismantled them in 1994. This is the story of the seventh missile, the one that was never supposed to have existed. Nombeko Mayeki knows too much about it, and now shes on the run from both the South African justice system and the most terrifying secret service in the world. The fate of the planet now lies in Nombekos hands. Jonasson introduces us to a cast of eccentrics: a nerve-damaged American Vietnam deserter, twin brothers who are officially only one person, three careless Chinese girls, an angry young woman, a potato-growing baroness, the Swedish king and the prime minister. Quirky and utterly unique, The Girl Who Saved the King of Sweden is a charming and humorous account of one young womans unlikely adventure.
©2014 Jonas Jonasson (P)2014 HarperCollins Canada
You have the right to remain sexy. Anything you say can and will be used to get you in my bed. You have the right to use my body to give yourself a delirious, life-changing orgasm. If you have trouble...don't worry, I'm a bit of an expert in that department. There's nothing "thin" about my blue line, if you catch my drift, and trust me, I know how to put those handcuffs to good use. From NYT best-selling author Laurelin Paige and USA Today best-selling author Sierra Simone comes a steamy contemporary romantic follow-up to last year's best seller P*rn Star.
©2017 Paige Press LLC (P)2017 Paige Press LLC
A double award-winning historical romance An irrepressible duke, a bookish spinster, a devious murderer... Regency house parties have never been so hazardous! Oliver Dasenby is the most infuriating man Primrose Garland has ever known. He may be her brother's best friend, but he has an atrocious sense of humor. Eight years in the cavalry hasn't taught him solemnity, nor has the unexpected inheritance of a dukedom. But when Oliver inherited his dukedom, it appears that he also inherited a murderer. Oliver might be dreadfully annoying, but Primrose doesn't want him dead. She's going to make certain he survives his inheritance - and the only way to do that is to help him catch the murderer! Length: full-length novel of 85,000 words. Sensuality level: regency romance with steamy love scenes. Winner of the 2019 Romance Writers of New Zealand Long Romance of the Year Award Winner of the 2019 Romance Writers of New Zealand Best Overall Romance of the Year Award
©2018 Emily Larkin (P)2020 Emily Larkin
Une ode aux petits bonheurs de la vie et un roman intergénérationnel plein d'humour et de finesse sur la vie et la mort, la beauté des êtres, l'amour et l'espoir. Un livre qui fait un bien fou... Quand Julia débarque comme psychologue à la maison de retraite Les Tamaris, elle ne croit pas plus au bonheur qu'à la petite souris. Pire, une fois sur place, elle se souvient qu'elle ne déborde pas d'affection pour les personnes âgées. Et dire qu'elle a tout plaqué pour se sauver, dans tous les sens du terme. Au fil des jours, Julia découvre que les pensionnaires ont bien des choses à lui apprendre. Difficile pourtant d'imaginer qu'on puisse reprendre goût à la vie entre des papys farceurs, des mamies fantaisistes et des collègues au cur brisé... Et si elle n'avait pas atterri là par hasard ? Et si l'amour se cachait là où on ne l'attend pas ? C'est l'histoire de chemins qui se croisent. Les chemins de ceux qui ont une vie à raconter et de ceux qui ont une vie à construire. C'est une histoire d'amour(s), une histoire de résilience, une ode au bonheur. Cest une histoire avec un humour décapant, des personnages attachants et une profonde humanité. En la terminant, on n'a qu'une envie : celle de se délecter des petits bonheurs qu'offre la vie.
©2016 Librairie Arthème Fayard (P)2017 Audiolib
Eighteen months ago, Sophia Jones finally walked out on her unhappy life. With a tricky divorce ongoing, money is tight, and so when friends offer her a housekeeping job while theyre away travelling, she accepts. Nate McKinley is hesitant when his brother, Gabe, offers him the use of their home in the picturesque village of Wishington Bay. But he has a book to a write and an imploded marriage to recover from, so maybe a change of scene is exactly what he needs. As Wishington Bay works its magic, friendship blossoms between Sophia and Nate. For Nate, finally feeling able to be himself with someone who is honest and down to earth is a revelation. But Sophia has a secret, and a jealous colleague is determined to blow her cover. Can she really keep her old life in the past, or is it destined to destroy this new, happy one too? Take a trip back to Wishington Bay this winter and find out.... A deliciously heart-warming and romantic listen, perfect for a cosy winters evening, from the author of the best-selling Winters Fairytale.
©2020 Maxine Morrey (P)2020 Boldwood Books
This is a short story about a haunted Chinese restaurant. The angry spirits of hundreds and hundreds of cats, dogs, and birds banded together for retribution. The animals wanted justice against Mr. Chong. His evil secret was that he kidnapped hundreds of animals only to butcher them and serve them as food to the unknowing public.
©2015 Jeffrey Dale Jeschke (P)2015 Jeffrey Dale Jeschke
"There is a white wizard, cloaked in spellcraft and guile and a truly astonishing sense of self-righteousness, and he simply will not stop slaughtering The Chosen One until he kills me."
Set in a fantasy world of unmanageable magics and questionable cosmology, There and NEVER, EVER Back Again: A Dark Lord's Journal is the peculiar, blackly satirical tale of the Dark Lord, who is amassing an army of Things of the Night, and awaiting likely death at the hands of:
The Elves: A beautiful, shiny, sociopathic species whose language is entirely sarcasm.
The Dwarves: Doomed hammer-swinging dwellers of the underground.
The Armies of Man: No one tells a better tale, or causes a more rapid extinction.
The White Wizard: Embodiment of all that is good and right; just ask him.
The Chosen One: Victim - sorry, meant to say "Hero" - of a glorious prophecy. The Chosen One is destined to bring down the Dark Lord, if not killed first. In which case, The White Wizard will have to find a replacement. Again.
Behold! A (relatively) epic narration of world-changing events, told from the point of view of the Dark Lord. 'Tis a story of shattering destiny, drinking, arcane secrets, drinking, and battles worth of the Sagas. Well, not the Sagas of Men, but the Orcs have probably got something to say about it. Let's get going; it's time to steal the Sun.
There and NEVER, EVER Back Again is the first novel by Jeff Mach, playwright, event creator, and certified Dark Lord.
©2019 Jeff Mach (P)2019 Jeff Mach
On the private Greek island of Skios, the high-paying guests of a world-renowned foundation prepare for the annual keynote address, to be given this year by Dr. Norman Wilfred, an eminent authority on the scientific organization of science. He turns out to be surprisingly youthful, handsome, and charming. Everyone is soon eating out of his hands. No one more than Nikki, the foundation's attractive and efficient organizer.
Meanwhile, Nikki's old friend Georgie has rashly agreed to spend a furtive horizontal weekend with a notorious schemer. Trapped there with her instead is a pompous, balding individual called Dr. Norman Wilfred, who has lost his whereabouts, his luggage, his temper - indeed, everything he possesses other than the text of a lecture on the scientific organization of science.
©2012 Michael Frayn (P)2012 Dreamscape Media, LLC
Hes inherited every English boys dream car. But to hold on to it, hell have to get his hands dirty. Eric Sibley loves his upscale job and the good life it provides. So when the corporate climber inherits his fathers Aston Martin DB4, hes excited to drive his wife and daughter around in style. But hes shocked to discover he can only have the flashy auto if he agrees to get a little mud on his polished shoes. Confined to the wills strict guidelines, he has no choice but to venture far from his London office and keep his fathers community veggie patch growing. But his hare-brained shortcuts to worm his way out of the obligation only dig him deeper into trouble with his worried wife and the meddling rural greenthumbs. Has Eric spoiled his stake in the allotment and ruined everything, or will his failed schemes reveal the very thing that matters most? Peas, Carrots and an Aston Martin is a heart-warming novel from the Peas and Carrots humorous fiction series. If you like crazy capers, quirky characters, and brilliant second chances, then youll love Kindle Storyteller Award winner Hannah Lynns madcap tale.
©2018 Hannah Lynn (P)2019 Hannah Lynn
It's 1964 and 10-year-old Felix is sure of a few things: the birds and the bees are puzzling, television is magical, and this is one Christmas he'll never forget. LBJ and Lady Bird are in the White House, Meet the Beatles is on everyone's turntable, and Felix Funicello (distant cousin of the iconic Annette!) is doing his best to navigate fifth grade - easier said than done when scary movies still give you nightmares and you bear a striking resemblance to a certain adorable cartoon boy. Back in his beloved fictional town of Three Rivers, Connecticut, with a new cast of endearing characters, Wally Lamb takes his listeners straight into the halls of St. Aloysius Gonzaga Parochial School - where Mother Filomina's word is law and goody-two-shoes Rosalie Twerski is sure to be minding everyone's business. But grammar and arithmetic move to the back burner this holiday season with the sudden arrivals of substitute teacher Madame Frechette, straight from Québec, and feisty Russian student Zhenya Kapakova. While Felix learns the meaning of French kissing, cultural misunderstanding, and tableaux vivants, Wishin' and Hopin' barrels toward one outrageous Christmas. From the Funicello family's bus-station lunch counter to the elementary school playground (with an uproarious stop at the Pillsbury Bake-Off), Wishin' and Hopin' is a vivid slice of 1960s life, a wise and witty holiday tale that celebrates where we've been - and how far we've come.
©2009 Wally Lamb (P)2009 HarperCollins Publishers
The Other Brother is a small-town second chance romance that can be listened to as a stand-alone romantic comedy. See why readers are falling in love with these blue-collar heroes. I got the call. The dreaded call every child fears. My dad wasn't well, and the man who had always been my everything needed me. There was only one thing to do: pack up and head back to my small hometown. I had finally made my dream life in the city, with the great job and loving boyfriend. But was there really a choice not to go? I found a wonderful job and a quaint house to rent; my boyfriend is working on joining me in Binghamton, and my favorite pizza place is only miles away. Life is good. Until I meet my neighbor. It's been three years since I've seen Aaron Walters, and my God is he all kinds of sexy gorgeous. Figures. He was supposed to be my forever, the man I grew old with, but he had different plans. How can a man who ripped my heart apart still trip me up? How can he make me still want him now more than ever? I'm tempted, I'm drawn toward him, I'm completely and utterly unaware that I'm dating his biological brother. Now two men own my heart. The question is, which brother will I choose?
©2017 Meghan Quinn (P)2018 Audible, Inc.
Seit dem Tod seiner Frau geht David ganz im Berufsleben auf und kümmert sich um seinen exzentrischen Vater. Gelegentliche Rendezvous-Versuche scheitern an Davids Schüchternheit. Bis er sich in Selma verliebt. Davids verstorbene Ehefrau Elinor ist darüber allerdings nicht erfreut: Eifersüchtig wacht sie als Geist über ihren Mann und bittet ihr Medium Paula um Hilfe. Doch die empfiehlt Elinor nur, endlich loszulassen...
©2020 Spotting Image (P)2020 Spotting Image
Sally Phillips stars as Clare in this sparkling collection of 13 comic episodes. Clare Barker, the social worker with all the politically correct jargon but none of the practical solutions, returns in these 13 episodes, which includes a special instalment recorded live at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe. As if the upheaval of moving offices and embracing hot-desking werent enough for Clare and her colleagues at the Sparrowhawk Family Centre, the threat of redundancies hangs over them, as do the horrors of a team-building exercise. Together they must deal with shattering news concerning Ray, whilst on more than one occasion Clare finds herself in hot water at work. Meanwhile at home the challenges of raising their son puts a terrible strain on Clare and Brians marriage, one which even relationship counselling cant repair. Just how will it all turn out in the end? Written by Harry Venning and David Ramsden, and with a supporting cast including Alex Lowe, Nina Conti, Richard Lumsden and Liza Tarbuck, the exploits of Clare continue to delight and entertain her legion of fans.
©2014 BBC Worldwide Ltd (P)2014 BBC Worldwide Ltd
Award-winning comedian Alan Davies stars in his own BBC Radio sitcom. Meet Alan. He's a struggling actor trying to cope with life in the 90s - the friends, the work, the romance... Meet the friends: Murray is a local journalist, who's given a crash course in tabloid sensationalism when the entire staff comes down with Peruvian flu. Kate is a primary school art teacher, who tussles daily with the obnoxious seven-year-old Tamara and tries to save time by getting the children to write their own reports. As for the work, he's played a gay miner and a giant strawberry, but as he's fond of pointing out, he's a serious actor. And as far as the romance, well, girlfriends come and go (mostly go), but Alan battles on. Funny, flippant, and often just farcical, The Alan Davies Show brings the stand-up comic's hilarious observational humour to the airwaves in this brilliant sitcom.
©2012 Alan Davies (P)2012 AudioGO Ltd
Four comic dramas about boundaries that are both territorial and personal, as heard on BBC Radio 4Territory is the theme that unites these four humorous plays whether that means fighting over an allotment plot, dealing with the sudden partition of a country, guarding the privacy of a garden or battling with the council over school catchment areas. In Losing the Plot, shy Edward decides to apply for an allotment plot after an encounter with attractive allotment-holder Amanda. But doing so involves an interview with ferocious site-manager Bernie who runs the allotments with military rigour
. Starring James Fleet as Edward, Joanna Monroe as Amanda and Jonathan Coy as Bernie. Written by Nick Warburton and directed by Peter Kavanagh. In An Incident at the Border, Arthur and Olivia are enjoying the sun in their local park on a beautiful summer's day. Olivia is reading a newspaper article on their country's new-found independence. Arthur, who is apolitical, is just enjoying watching the ducks. Suddenly a soldier arrives, dragging a tape across the ground, marking out the new border. He barges between the two young people. Now one is on one side of the border, and one on the other! How can the lovers be reunited? Starring Joseph Kloska as Arthur, Leah Brotherhead as Olivia and Nigel Planer as Reiver. Written by Kieran Lynn and directed by Peter Kavanagh.
©2011 AudioGO Ltd (P)2011 AudioGO Ltd
Its the most wonderful time of the year.... Except for Daisy, Christmas means another of Uncle Ts dreaded Christmas parties, complete with Christmas jumper and flashing antlers. And Oliver Cartwright. Gorgeous Oliver Cartwright. Who she hates. Every year Daisy has to face insufferable Ollie and hear all about how brilliant he is. Whereas Daisy has no job, no man and no idea how to fix things. This Christmas, however, Daisy is determined things will be different. There will be no snogging Ollie under the mistletoe like when they were teenagers. No, this year shell show Ollie that shes a Responsible Adult too. But as the champagne corks pop, and the tinsel sparkles, Uncle T has news of his own to share...and it could change Daisy's life forever. Bridget Jones meets the Hallmark Channel in an irresistible romantic comedy you wont want to miss this Christmas.
©2019 Zara Stoneley (P)2019 HarperCollins Publishers Limited
Tout les sépare. Seule la haine mutuelle les réunit. S'il existe un homme que la vendeuse et photographe amateur, Diane Petit, déteste plus que tout, c'est le grand fabricant de parfums, Sébastien Darcy, qui a non seulement volé l'entreprise du père de Diane, mais également détruit sa santé. Mais l'arrogant salaud ferait mieux de se méfier parce que Diane prépare sa vengeance. Et la vengeance est un plat qui se mange froid. Mon meilleur ennemi est une comédie romantique inspirée de Orgueil et préjugés. Beaucoup de rires, un soupçon de mystère et une bonne dose de romance, y compris un faux mariage avec un milliardaire, dans ce best-seller aux États-Unis. AVERTISSEMENT : Tout comme dans Orgueil et préjugés, attendez-vous à trouver un monsieur Darcy riche, beau et ténébreux et une jeune provinciale qui ne peut pas le supporter. Mais contrairement à Orgueil et préjugés, ce livre contient aussi un nu artistique dudit monsieur Darcy et des nuits de passion torride à Paris.
©2017 Alix Nichols. Traduit par Catherine Ducroux (P)2019 Audible Studios
Note to self - do not bang your best guy friend in the limo on the way to the swanky Vegas hotel. I give myself very good advice. Too bad I suck at taking it. If only Colin and I hadn't drunk so much whiskey, if only I'd kept that red bikini in my suitcase, if only his evil ex-girlfriend hadn't come sniffing around making me feel territorial and protective. Not that my bad boy rock star best friend is any help. Walking around looking ridiculously sexy, telling me I'm perfect in that panty-melting voice of his when we both swore wed never do anything to put our friendship at risk. And Colin never breaks a promise. But then, he has no idea Ive secretly been in love with him for years. I guess I should just enjoy the ride, but I cant stop thinking about what happens with this vacation ends and I head home alone, nursing one hell of a bangover....
©2019 Lili Valente (P)2019 Lili Valente
Audie Award Finalist, Best Male Narrator, 2016 Breakfast of Champions (1973) provides frantic, scattershot satire and a collage of Vonnegut's obsessions. His recurring cast of characters and American landscape was perhaps the most controversial of his canon; it was felt by many at the time to be a disappointing successor to Slaughterhouse-Five, which had made Vonnegut's literary reputation. The core of the novel is Kilgore Trout, a familiar character very deliberately modeled on the science fiction writer Theodore Sturgeon (1918-1985), a fact that Vonnegut conceded frequently in interviews and that was based upon his own occasional relationship with Sturgeon. Here Kilgore Trout is an itinerant wandering from one science fiction convention to another; he intersects with the protagonist, Dwayne Hoover (one of Vonnegut's typically boosterish, lost, and stupid mid-American characters), and their intersection is the excuse for the evocation of many others, familiar and unfamiliar, dredged from Vonnegut's gallery. The central issue is concerned with intersecting and apposite views of reality, and much of the narrative is filtered through Trout, who is neither certifiably insane nor a visionary writer but can pass for either depending upon Dwayne Hoover's (and Vonnegut's) view of the situation. America, when this novel was published, was in the throes of Nixon, Watergate, and the unraveling of our intervention in Vietnam; the nation was beginning to fragment ideologically and geographically, and Vonnegut sought to cram all of this dysfunction (and a goofy, desperate kind of hope, the irrational comfort given through the genre of science fiction) into a sprawling narrative whose sense, if any, is situational, not conceptual. Reviews were polarized; the novel was celebrated for its bizarre aspects and became the basis of a Bruce Willis movie adaptation whose reviews were not nearly so polarized. (Most critics hated it.) PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying reference material will be available in your My Library section along with the audio.
©1973 Kurt Vonnegut (P)2015 Audible, Inc.
Once more we catch up with the delightful goings-on in the fictitious 44 Scotland Street from Alexander McCall Smith. With customary charm and deftness, Alexander McCall Smith gives us another installment in this popular series, now running in its ninth season in The Scotsman. Anything could happen to Bertie and the gang....
©2015 Alexander McCall Smith (P)2016 Recorded Books
Calvin Jones, a computer programmer in his mid-20s, decides to skip work and meet his girlfriend at the beach instead. However, because of an accident, a trip to the hospital, death, and cryogenic freezing, he never quite makes it there. When Calvin is revived, he finds himself in a utopian society 300 years in the future. But every society has its peculiarities. This one happens to be governed by an artificial intelligence named Ariel. Using Ariel, this society has been able to identify its stupid, lazy, or otherwise detrimental individuals - and kill them. The result is a civilization of intelligent, hardworking inhabitants - except for Calvin. Will Calvin be able to adapt to his new surroundings, or will the learning curve be too steep for him to survive?
©2003 Brian J. Cramer (P)2019 Brian J. Cramer
New York Times best seller A heartwarming novel about secrets of youth rediscovered, hometown memories, and the magical moments in ordinary lives, from the beloved author of Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe. A gift, a blessing and a triumph...celebrates the bonds of family and friends - and the possibilities of recovery and renewal. (The Free Lance-Star) Bud Threadgoode grew up in the bustling little railroad town of Whistle Stop with his mother, Ruth, church-going and proper, and his aunt Idgie, the fun-loving hell-raiser. Together they ran the town's popular Whistle Stop Cafe, known far and wide for its fun and famous fried green tomatoes. And as Bud often said of his childhood to his daughter, Ruthie, "How lucky can you get?" But sadly, as the railroad yards shut down and Whistle Stop became a ghost town, nothing was left but boarded-up buildings and memories of a happier time. Then one day, Bud decides to take one last trip, just to see what has become of his beloved Whistle Stop. In so doing, he discovers new friends, as well as surprises about Idgie's life, about Ninny Threadgoode and other beloved Fannie Flagg characters, and about the town itself. He also sets off a series of events, both touching and inspiring, that change his life and the lives of his daughter and many others. Could these events all be just coincidences? Or something else? And can you really go home again?
©1987 Fannie Flagg (P)2020 Random House Audio
Eliot Rosewater, a drunk volunteer fireman and president of the fabulously rich Rosewater Foundation, is about to attempt a noble experiment with human nature, with a little help from writer Kilgore Trout. The result is Kurt Vonnegut's funniest satire, an etched-in-acid portrayal of the greed, hypocrisy, and follies of the flesh we are all heir to. As an added bonus, when you purchase our Audible Modern Vanguard production of Kurt Vonnegut's book, you'll also receive an exclusive Jim Atlas interview. This interview where James Atlas interviews Gay Talese about the life and work of Kurt Vonnegut begins as soon as the audiobook ends.
©1965 Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. (P)2008 Audible, Inc.
Jordan Carpenter thinks she's finally found the perfect candidate for Jilted, a new dating show about runaway grooms: firefighter Luke Elliott, a known player who's left not one but three brides at the altar. The only problem? Luke refuses to answer Jordan's emails or return her calls. Which is how she ends up on a flight to Montana to recruit him in person. It's not Manhattan, but at least the locals in Lucky Hollow seem friendly...except for Luke, who's more intense - and way hotter - than the slick womanizer Jordan expected. Eager to put the past behind him, Luke has zero intention of following this gorgeous, fast-talking city girl back to New York. But before he can send her packing, Jordan's everywhere: at his favorite bar, the county fair, even his exes' book club. Annoyingly, everyone in Lucky Hollow seems to like her - and deep down, she's starting to grow on him too. But the more he fights her constant pestering, the more Luke finds himself wishing that Jordan would kick off her high heels and make herself comfortable in his arms. Contains mature themes.
©2017 Lauren LeDonne (P)2018 Tantor
A new life on another world! Morgan used to be a pretty chill dude, until he got hit by a car, died, and then got sent to another world by a god-not-god. A world where the only way to survive was to level and grow strong enough to survive all the monsters that wanted to eat your face. If he was being completely honest with himself, Morgan quite liked this world, even with all the monsters and the lack of electricity. Sure, there were people that were technically gods, running around and interfering with his life, but who didn't have problems? Things weren't all that bad; Morgan found friends, who included bad-ass elven twins, an orc, and a descendant of a Roman General from an alternate version of Earth, and together with them he founded a Guild, got some followers, and basically became a ruler. So yeah, not all too bad - except that he now had several towns and villages of people looking to him for guidance and protection. And to make matters worse, a new Goblin King had risen and united the tribes in the mountains. Now they had a goblin horde on the way, and Morgan and his friends had to figure out a way to protect them all. Should be easy, right?
©2019 Ivan Kal (P)2019 Tantor
Racer McKay is a broody bastard. From the moment I met him, he's been rude, irritable, and unbearable. And worse? He's broke. A contractor working to remodel my parents pool house for extra cash, he stomps around in those clunky construction boots with his tool belt wrapped around his narrow waist, and a chip on his shoulder. Racer McKay is also infuriatingly...sexy as hell. I want to take that pencil tucked behind his ear, and draw lazy lines slowly up and down his body all the while wanting to strangle him at the same time. We try to stay out of each other's way...that is, until I have no other option but to ask for his help. But what I don't realize is he needs me just as much as I need him. I have money he's desperate for, and he holds the key to making my dreams come true. Our pranks turn from sarcastic banter, to sexual tension and lust-filled glances. Bickering matches quickly morph into slow burn moments. We're hot, we're cold. We push and pull. I need him, I don't want him. We're on the verge of combusting with an agreement dangling dangerously between us. Neither one of us can afford to lose one another and yet, we're finding it quite hard to decipher the line that rests between love and hate. Contains mature themes.
©2017 Meghan Quinn (P)2017 Tantor
When 27-year-old Bette Robinson quits her Manhattan banking job, she knows she won't miss the 80-hour workweeks, her claustrophobic cubicle or her revolting boss's Quotes of the Day. Then Bette meets Kelly, head of Manhattan's hottest PR and events planning firm, and suddenly she has a brand-new job where the primary requirement is to see and be seen. The work at Kelly & Company takes Bette inside the VIP rooms of the city's most exclusive nightclubs, to parties crowded with celebrities and socialites. Soon she's dating an infamous playboy who's great for her career but bad for her sanity - and scaring off the one decent guy she meets. As her coworkers repeatedly point out, how can you complain about a job that pays you to party? Bette has to agree - until she begins appearing in a vicious new gossip column. That's when Bette's life on paper takes on a whole new meaning - and she learns the line between her personal and professional lives is...invisible.
©2004 Lauren Weisberger (P)2011 Simon & Schuster
He's big, burly, and way smarter than your average shapeshifting bear. He's also about to get trapped by his own game...Lou Crushek is a reasonable, mellow, easygoing kind of guy. But when someone starts killing the scumbags he works so hard to bust, that really gets under his fur. Especially when that someone is a curvy she-tiger with a skill set that's turning Crush's lone-bear world upside down - and bringing his passion out of hibernation. As a member of an elite feline protection unit, Marcella Malone has no problem body-dropping anyone who hunts her kind. But Crush is proving one major pain in her gorgeous tail. The only reason she's joined forces with him is to track down the wealthy human who's got her entire species in his ruthless sights. It sure isn't because Crush's stubborn and contrary attitude is rubbing Cella in all the right ways...
©2012 Shelly Laurenston (P)2014 Tantor
The corridors of power will never be the same again. The Rt. Ho. James Hacker PC, MP, BSc (Econ) has made the ultimate political journey: to No. 10. And his newly appointed Cabinet Secretary Sir Humphrey Appleby is on hand to advise, encourage, and look after No. 1. Now this legendary partnership can steer a course through the twists, turns, and minefields of bureaucracy and government in four classic episodes from the highly successful BBC television series. The four episodes include "The Smoke Screen", "The Ministerial Broadcast", "Official Secrets", and "A Conflict of Interest", in which Jim Hacker has reached No. 10, and Sir Humphrey Appleby puts a spanner in the mechanisms of government.
©1999 BBC Audiobooks Ltd (P)1995, 1999 BBC Audiobooks Ltd
For seven months, anthropologist Blackwell James has lived among the Wantayo people of the Amazon, immersing himself in their culture in order to collect data for his dissertation. Trouble is, he hasnt done much research. Instead, hes just hung out with the tribe, resulting in some fair skills with a bow and arrow but little else. When Blackwell returns to Columbia University with a trunk full of hallucinogenic vines but no research notes, his frustrated advisor packs him off to Los Angeles to assist a colleague with a primate experiment. But for an East Coaster freshly returned from the jungles of South America, Hollywood is a surreal new world, home to a cutthroat tribe of actors and filmmakers scrambling for money and fame. Caught up in the secret ambitions of his new employers, Blackwell begins a strange trip through the surreal world of movie stars, murder, and money. A secret society, a ghost town, two large chimpanzees, and several shamanistic drug-induced journeys round out this outrageous novel, which features cameos by Sylvester Stallone, Johnny Depp, and Steven Spielberg. Gleefully continuing the great literary tradition of comic Hollywood novels, The Graduate Student is an exuberant and riveting ride.
©2012 Brilliance Audio, Inc. (P)2011 James Polster
Audie Award Finalist, Science Fiction, 2014 A New York Times Notable Book A Washington Post Notable Book A Best Book of the Year: The Guardian, NPR, The Christian Science Monitor, The Globe and Mail A GoodReads Reader's Choice Bringing together Oryx and Crake and The Year of the Flood, this thrilling conclusion to Margaret Atwood's speculative fiction trilogy points toward the ultimate endurance of community, and love. Months after the Waterless Flood pandemic has wiped out most of humanity, Toby and Ren have rescued their friend Amanda from the vicious Painballers. They return to the MaddAddamite cob house, newly fortified against man and giant pigoon alike. Accompanying them are the Crakers, the gentle, quasi-human species engineered by the brilliant but deceased Crake. Their reluctant prophet, Snowman-the-Jimmy, is recovering from a debilitating fever, so it's left to Toby to preach the Craker theology, with Crake as Creator. She must also deal with cultural misunderstandings, terrible coffee, and her jealousy over her lover, Zeb. Zeb has been searching for Adam One, founder of the God's Gardeners, the pacifist green religion from which Zeb broke years ago to lead the MaddAddamites in active resistance against the destructive CorpSeCorps. But now, under threat of a Painballer attack, the MaddAddamites must fight back with the aid of their newfound allies, some of whom have four trotters. At the center of MaddAddam is the story of Zeb's dark and twisted past, which contains a lost brother, a hidden murder, a bear, and a bizarre act of revenge. Combining adventure, humor, romance, superb storytelling, and an imagination at once dazzlingly inventive and grounded in a recognizable world, MaddAddam is vintage Margaret Atwood - a moving and dramatic conclusion to her internationally celebrated dystopian trilogy.
©2013 Margaret Atwood (P)2013 Random House Audio
Jack Woodson was a thermal design engineer for four years until he was laid off from his job. Now, as a teacher, he faces new challenges. Conference calls have been replaced with parent conferences. Product testing has given way to standardized testing. Instead of business cards, Jack now passes out report cards. The only thing that hasn't changed noticeably is the maturity level of the people surrounding him all day. Learn Me Good is a hilarious first-person account, inspired by real life experiences. Through a series of emails to Fred Bommerson, his buddy who still works at Heat Pumps Unlimited, Jack chronicles a year-in-the-life of a brand-new teacher. With subject lines such as "Irritable vowel syndrome", "In math class, no one can hear you scream", and "I love the smell of Lysol in the morning", Jack writes each email with a dash of sarcasm and plenty of irreverent wit.
©2006 John Pearson (P)2013 Podium Publishing
There are are three things you need to know about Sandra Fielding: 1) She makes all her first dates cry, 2) She hasn't been kissed in over two years, and 3) She knows how to knit. Sandra has difficulty removing her psychotherapist hat. Of her last 30 dates, 29 have ended the same way: the man sobbing uncontrollably. After one such disaster, Sandra--near desperation and maybe a little tipsy--gives in to a seemingly harmless encounter with her hot waiter, Alex. Argumentative, secretive, and hostile Alex may be the opposite of everything Sandra knows is right for her. But now, the girl who has spent all her life helping others change for the better, must find a way to cope with falling for someone who refuses to change at all.
©2014 Cipher-Naught (P)2015 Cipher-Naught
Tim and his friends find out the hard way that you shouldn't question the game master, and you shouldn't make fun of his cape. One minute, they're drinking away the dreariness of their lives, escaping into a fantasy game and laughing their asses off. The next minute, they're in a horse-drawn cart surrounded by soldiers pointing crossbows at them. Tim now has the voice and physique of a prepubescent girl. Dave finds that while he lost a foot or two in height, he somehow acquired a suit of armor and a badass beard. Julian's ears have grown ridiculously long and pointy. And Cooper... well Cooper has gotten himself a set of tusks, a pair of clawed hands, and a bad case of the shits. He also finds that he's carrying a bag with a human head in it - a head that he had chopped off when they were still just playing a game. Shit just got real, and if they want to survive, these four friends are going to have to tap into some baser instincts they didn't even know existed in their fast-food and pizza delivery world. It's fight, flight, or try to convince the people who are trying to kill them that they don't really exist.
©2012 Robert Bevan (P)2014 Robert Bevan
Ever meet a hot billionaire while your hand's in a toilet in the men's room of one of his stores? No? So it really is just me. Hmm. When you're a mystery shopper, you get paid to humiliate yourself, all in the name of improving customer service. Romance isn't in my job description. But the day I met Declan McCormick it was love at first flush. Until I nearly castrated him with my EpiPen. How Hot Guy and Toilet Girl became an item involves my crazy mom, a trip to the ER, my homicidal cat, my fake wife, and true love. Don't look at me like that. I'm just doing my job. I'm shopping for a billionaire. The Shopping for a Billionaire collection from New York Times best-selling author Julia Kent is a hilarious romantic comedy with heart, heat, and laughs. This boxed set contains the previously published Shopping for a Billionaire 1, Shopping for a Billionaire 2, Shopping for a Billionaire 3, Shopping for a Billionaire 4, and Christmas Shopping for a Billionaire.
©2015 Julia Kent (P)2016 Julia Kent
Ein skurriles Projekt? Nein, eher spaßig und kurzweilig! Der edelste aller Indianer ist wohl Karl Mays Apatschenhäuptling Winnetou, von dem der niederbayerische Kabarettist, Moderator und Buchautor "Der Fälscher" Wolfgang "Woife" Berger seit seiner Kindheit begeistert ist. Und so will Berger die Geschichte seines Helden mal auf Bayrisch erzählen und hat kurzerhand den ersten Band des WINNETOU in eine gekürzte 90-Minuten-Version 'übersetzt'. Zur Aufführung und Aufnahme gesellte sich Countrysänger Matthias M. alias Matt Daniels, der seit 2004 bei den Süddeutschen Karl May-Festspielen in Dasing die Rolle des Winnetou perfekt verkörpert. Nun als Hörbuch und auf der Bühne: WINNETOU I auf Bayrisch. Wie war das nochmal, wie wurden Winnetou und Old Shatterhand eigentlich Blutsbrüder? Hier wird aus "Hugh" ein bayrisches "Habedere".
©2020 Karl-May-Verlag (P)2020 Karl-May-Verlag
A Romantic Comedy Fiona Cantrell is a woman on a mission. More aptly put, she's a fairy godmother on a mission. Her dream of moving to London is about to come true now that all that stands between her and her new job is a few unpacked suitcases. Or so she thinks until her old boss shows up with one more little task for her to complete before she leaves for Europe. Her new assignment involves a handsome cowboy named Cody, his two rascally nephews, and a mountain of laundry...all of which would be no problem for any self-respecting fairy godmother. While Fiona manages to handle the laundry and the boys, she quickly learns that she's not immune to Cody's considerable charm. It takes everything she's got to stay focused on completing her task so she can head to London. But when tragedy strikes, Fiona realizes that it will take more magic than she has to try to save a life and mend her own broken heart.
©2015 Caroline Mickelson (P)2016 Caroline Mickelson
Max Hawthornes raunchy, revealing memoir is certain to induce bouts of calorie-burning laughter, embarrassed grins, and re-considerations of ones gym membership. A smutty and enjoyable exposé of life behind health club doors, Memoirs of a Gym Rat is both a scandalizing and edifying listen. Find out all about the sex, drugs, and barbell curls that are on fitness regimens in this rare look at the scandalous culture that runs rampant in health clubs. With raw honesty and twisted wit, Hawthorne bares all the dirty little secrets that will leave you spent from laughter, while helping you keep your fitness goals (and sanity) on track.
©2013 Far From The Tree Press, LLC (P)2019 Far From The Tree Press, LLC
There is nobody who does [military SF] better than Marko Kloos. His Frontlines series is a worthy successor to such classics as Starship Troopers, The Forever War, and We All Died at Breakaway Station. - George R. R. Martin The year is 2108, and the North American Commonwealth is bursting at the seams. For welfare rats like Andrew Grayson, there are only two ways out of the crime-ridden and filthy welfare tenements: You can hope to win the lottery and draw a ticket on a colony ship settling off-world...or you can join the service. With the colony lottery a pipe dream, Andrew chooses to enlist in the armed forces for a shot at real food, a retirement bonus, and maybe a ticket off Earth. But as he starts a career of supposed privilege, he soon learns that the good food and decent health care come at a steep price...and that the settled galaxy holds far greater dangers than military bureaucrats or the gangs that rule the slums. The debut novel from Marko Kloos, Terms of Enlistment is an addition to the great military sci-fi tradition of Robert Heinlein, Joe Haldeman, and John Scalzi. Revised edition: This edition of Terms of Enlistment includes editorial revisions.
©2014 by Marko Kloos. (P)2013 Brilliance Audio, all rights reserved.
Mountains of gems? Nanotech warfare? Brain data implants? Biologist Pia Lamotte just wants a strong espresso and a tent under the stars, but fate has bigger plans. Download this smart and sexy near future space opera now! Pia is a stunning woman, whose genius is sought after by the handful of multinational corporations left fighting for control over the ravaged Earth of 2056. As rampant starvation and climate destruction sweep across the planet, a final war seems inevitable both on Earth and in the Lunar Colonies. Rebel groups use cyberwarfare and brain network attacks in a seemingly futile attempt to stop the Multinats. Now Natocorps has a daring plan for how to become the sole surviving global power, but should they be helped or stopped? The dwarf planet Ceres is the largest object in the asteroid belt, and there promises to be untold riches for the first to colonize and mine it. However, what they discover there may change the human race itself. Thrills, danger, love, wonder, humor, and intrigue are hiding around every corner of this one hour short read. It's 30 percent hard science fiction, 30% dystopian, 30% space opera, 10% love story, and 100 percentaddictive! Fans of The Expanse, Firefly, Asimov, or Arthur C. Clarke's Rama series will feel right at home. Pia is a reluctant but strong female lead who must learn to make peace with her past as she shapes the future of humanity. So what are you waiting for? Jump into the exciting world of Mission Cerex today!
©2019 David Colello (P)2019 David Colello
Popular novelist Dan Jenkins is well known in the golf world for his column in Golf Digest. A modern classic among 20th-century sports novels, Dead Solid Perfect is Jenkins' hilarious send-up of professional golfers and the often ludicrous reality of life on the tour.
©2000 Dan Jenkins (P)2009 Recorded Books, LLC
Augies War is an outrageously funny, but deadly serious novel of war, family, and coming of age.
Augie Cumpton has to find a way to survive his deployment to Vietnam, so he escapes the horror and insanity of war by retreating to his safe haven: a cerebral sanctuary where he can reflect on family and friends, humorous incidents, and a coterie of unforgettable characters from back home.
But now as his tour is about to end and the war intensifies, he faces a legal and moral dilemma when corrupt superiors make criminal demands on him. If he refuses to comply, he might end up dead - a victim of friendly fire. So now its up to Augie to survive both the war and the demands of disreputable officers in order to make it home in one piece.
©2018 Black Rose Writing (P)2018 Beacon Audiobooks
A funny and moving commentary on that point in a woman's life when everything seems to come into question." (Camille Perri, The New York Times) "It's the superb insights and penetrating writing that make this book remarkable... An extraordinary debut." (The Guardian) "Enthralling, sharply observed" (Marie Claire) One of Elle Magazine's 19 Summer Books That Everyone Will Be Talking About One of Cosmo's Reads for July One of Refinery29's Two New Books to Read in July by Brilliant Debut Authors An irreverent and deeply moving comedy about friendship, fertility, and fighting for one's sanity in a toxic workplace. Jen has reached her early 30s and has all but abandoned a once-promising painting career when, spurred by the 2008 economic crisis, she takes a poorly defined job at a feminist nonprofit. The foundation's ostensible aim is to empower women, but staffers spend all their time devising acronyms for imaginary programs, ruthlessly undermining one another, and stroking the ego of their boss, the larger-than-life celebrity philanthropist Leora Infinitas. Jen's complicity in this passive-aggressive hellscape only intensifies her feelings of inferiority compared to her two best friends - one a wealthy attorney with a picture-perfect family, the other a passionately committed artist - as does Jen's apparent inability to have a baby, a source of existential panic that begins to affect her marriage and her already precarious status at the office. As Break in Case of Emergency unfolds, a fateful art exhibition, a surreal boondoggle adventure in Belize, and a devastating personal loss conspire to force Jen to reckon with some hard truths about herself and the people she loves most. Jessica Winter's ferociously intelligent debut novel is a wry satire of celebrity do-goodism as well as an exploration of the difficulty of navigating friendships as they shift to accommodate marriage and family and the unspoken tensions that can strain even the strongest bonds.
©2016 Jessica Winter (P)2016 Random House Audio
America's most hilarious sportsman returns with this collection of insights about youth, the great outdoors, and the philosophy of fileting fish. When best-selling author Patrick McManus looks at a subject, you're sure to come away with an outrageously new perspective. In "Muldoon in Love" McManus examines how third-grade crushes can have a disastrous effect on show-and-tell. In "The Big Fix" he explores the insidious relationship between women and flat tires. In "What's in a Name, Moonbeam?" he welcomes into the world a new grandchi ... er ... a new small relative. Norman Dietz's droll narration of these and two dozen more adventures by the author of How I Got This Way and The Night the Bear Ate Goombaw will have listeners - and maybe even a wolf or two - howling.
©1987 Patrick F. McManus (P)2000 Recorded Books, LLC
Four years after the destruction of the planeport, Earth remains cut off from Heaven. The angels and demons are in disarray, lacking direction and leadership. Someone has to step up and take control, and that person is...Mercury? But when the demoness Tiamat finds out about Mercury's plan to reestablish contact with heaven, all hell breaks loose. Mercury finds himself at the center of a plot to rewrite Earth's history, and the only way to stop it is to travel back in time to prevent the plot from coming to fruition. Along the way, he accidentally travels to multiple parallel universes, meeting several alternate versions of himself and tearing a gaping hole in the fabric of reality. Will the universe survive? Will Mercury be trapped in prehistoric Africa? Will we ever find out who Mercury's favorite Gilmore Girls character is? Listen to Mercury Shrugs to find out!
©2016 Robert Kroese (P)2017 Robert Kroese
Working as a Wench - i.e. waitress - at a cheesy medieval-themed restaurant in the Chicago suburbs, Kit Sweetly dreams of being a Knight like her brother. She has the moves, is capable on a horse, and desperately needs the raise that comes with knighthood so she can help her mom pay the mortgage and hold a spot at her dream college. Company policy allows only guys to be Knights. So when Kit takes her brothers place, clobbers the Green Knight, and reveals her identity at the end of the show, she rockets into internet fame and a whole lot of trouble with the management. But this Girl Knight wont go down without a fight. As other Wenches and cast members join her quest, a protest forms. In a joust before Castle executives, theyll prove that gender restrictions should stay medieval - if they dont get fired first.
©2020 Dreamscape Media, LLC (P)2020 Dreamscape Media, LLC
The complete soundtracks of all four Blackadder series, plus over three hours of specials and extras. Through the ages of Britain, from the 15th century to the 21st, Edmund Blackadder has meddled his way along the bloodlines, aided by his servant and sidekick, Baldrick, and hindered by an assortment of dimwitted aristocrats. Now the complete history of Blackadder is collected together, including the four TV series: The Black Adder, Blackadder II, Blackadder the Third and Blackadder Goes Forth plus the special TV and radio episodes Blackadders Christmas Carol, Blackadder: The Cavalier Years, Blackadder: Womans Hour Invasion, The Shakespeare Sketch, Blackadder: Back and Forth, Blackadder: The Army Years (Royal Variety Performance) and Blackadder: I Have a Cunning Plan. Even included is the Blackadder instalment of the TV series Britain's Best Sitcom. Starring Rowan Atkinson, Tony Robinson, Hugh Laurie, Stephen Fry, Tim McInnerny, Rik Mayall and Miranda Richardson. Written by Richard Curtis, Ben Elton and Rowan Atkinson. This is history at its grubbiest and funniest.
©2019 Richard Curtis, Ben Elton (P)2019 BBC Worldwide Ltd
In the acclaimed follow-up to the number one international best seller The Secret Diary of Hendrik Groen, everyone's favorite curmudgeon is back and as funny and charming as ever with the newest adventures of the Old-But-Not-Dead Club - for fans of Frederik Backman and Graeme Simsion. Everyone's favorite octogenarian is back, and together with his pals in the Old-But-Not-Dead Club, he is more determined than ever to wreak havoc and turn a twinkly eye on the brighter side of life. After a year spent mourning the death of his beloved friend Eefje, Hendrik may be older and a little more wobbly, but his youthful appetite for mischief hasn't diminished. When fears arise that the home is set for demolition, it's up to Hendrik and the Old-But-Not-Dead Club to intervene.
©2017 Henrik Groen (P)2019 Hachette Audio
Barely four years after winning an Oscar, Charlie has sunken into the ranks of Hollywood bottom-feeders. But one day at his weekly Debtors Anonymous meeting, he meets a mysterious ex-CIA agent who proposes to resuscitate Charlie's foundering career in the beyond-surreal world of reality TV.Charlie puts his tap shoes on to sell a show about a ruthless Uzbek warlord and his family - "The Osbournes meets The Sopranos" - to a rogue division of ABC known as ABCD, whose mandate is to develop, under top secret cover, extreme reality TV shows to bolster the network's ratings.When Warlord becomes a breakout hit, it not only sends one of America's largest entertainment conglomerates into full damage-control mode, but shifts the balance of power in Central Asia, proving that in show business, it's not over till the mouse sings.
©2005 Chiaroscuro Productions (P)2009 Blackstone Audio, Inc.
Nava is hot on the heels of a demonic serial killer and finally working with her brother. The assignment should be a dream come true, not a nightmarish power struggle made worse by her twin's refusal to believe there's corruption within the Brotherhood. Nava is determined to find proof of their dirty dealings, even as she risks irrefutably breaking her sibling bond. Speaking of clocking annoying males upside the head...Nava is also totally over smoking-hot rock star and fellow hunter Rohan Mitra. There is a veritable buffet of boy options out there, and this girl is now all-you-can-eat. So when her demon hunt brings her first love, Cole, back into her life, her revenge fantasies for closure - on all fronts - are a go. Except neither her old wounds nor her new ones are as healed as she believes. Still, she's got work to do: Brotherhood: unmask. Demons: slaughter. Guy problems: terminate with extreme prejudice.
©2017 Deborah Wilde (P)2017 Tantor
Please Note: This content is not for kids. This audio comedy features adult language (hurled especially at one malicious, phony Kelly Smith). Discretion is advised. In this dramatic comedy, Parks and Recreation and Good Girls star Retta brings humor and strength to her role as the unforgettable Tinaca Jones. Whats in a name? A lot. The name Tinaca, for example, has been passed down in the Jones family for generations of women. In fact, the Joneses name a Tinaca every other generation, to let the name breathe a little. To let each Tinaca shine. And shine is exactly what Tinaca Jones intends to do. A grocery cashier by day and household name in the making by night, Tinaca Jones pays her dues, saves her coins, and takes business and marketing classes. She spends every second readying to launch her lifestyle brand for anyone who wants to live like her - that is, intentionally and fabulously. But when a basic blonde with an even more basic name, Kelly Smith, approaches her register and peeps her nametag, Tinacas plans come crashing down all around her. The next thing Tinaca knows, Kelly Smith has launched herself into overnight fame with a pathetic, old-as-time, red-carpet stunt, using the stage name "Tinaca Jones". But Kelly Smith messed with the wrong woman. What follows is Tinaca Joness wild and triumphant account of the battle to reclaim her name, told over the course of an epic and hilarious deposition.
©2019 Matt Boren (P)2019 Audible Originals, LLC.
William Shatspeare has penned a masterpiece! Universes are colliding. Characters from a tangle of universes - Star Trek, Marvel, Star Wars, DC Comics, Middle Earth, and more - are colliding in a reality that has gone mad. There is a great disturbance in the Farce! The evil, orange-skinned usurper, Uranus Blowhard, has hypnotized Amerricans with this mind-numbing MAGA chant. Blowhard is determined to collect the five Time Cheaters that will make him the most powerful roach motel tycoon in the Infiniverse. The only thing standing in Blowhards way is Captain Quark and his crack team of superheroes, The Funtastic Five. Will Quark and the FF thwart Blowhard's scheme to conquer the Infiniverse? You'll find the answer to that and many other brain-tinglers in Quark and the Time Cheaters. Listen on MacDuff!
©2020 Timothy McGettigan (P)2020 Timothy McGettigan
A drunk wizard. A lizard starting a nudie magazine. A former apprentice seeking revenge. After hundreds of years of wizardry, Master Whizzfiddle wants nothing more than to sit back and relax for the rest of his cursedly long life. His vindictive ex-apprentice has other plans. With a legal challenge out for his cushy guild membership, Whizzfiddle has 30 days to undertake a near-impossible quest.... To get the eternal rest he craves, the lazy wizard must travel with a band of creatures cursed to live out their worst qualities. Returning the ugly elf, the huge dwarf, and the terrified knight to their former glory will take courage. Itll take perseverance. And for Whizzfiddles magic to keep him from a lifetime of hard labor, itll take a whole lot of booze.... A Quest of Undoing is the enchanting first book in the Ononokin comedic fantasy series. If you like absurd humor, original characters, and seeing fantasy tropes turned upside down, then youll love John P. Logsdon and Christopher P. Youngs epically zany tale. Fans of Terry Pratchett, Robert Asprin, Piers Anthony, Discworld, Xanth, Myth Adventures, and/or Monty Python will have a blast with the hilarious Ononokin series.
©2013 John P. Logsdon & Christopher P. Young (P)2016 Living Audio
When Hattie Green pops to the shop one afternoon, she never expects her life to flash before her eyes between the tins of baked beans and a special offer on sliced white. One minute shes loading her trolley and thinking about what to give her son for dinner, and the next shes speaking to a gorgeous man in a glowing white suit about what her life could have been.... If you had the chance to go back and relive it all, what would you do differently? Go on that date, take that promotion...eat that second biscuit? Hattie is about to discover where she went wrong, but will her mystery second chance reveal some stonking secrets in her past that probably should have stayed hidden? A gorgeous romantic comedy from the best-selling author of What Hollys Husband Did. Perfect for fans of Tracy Bloom, Marian Keyes and Dawn French.
©2018 Debbie Viggiano (P)2019 Audible, Ltd
Audie Award Finalist, Fiction, 2016 A biting satire about a young man's isolated upbringing and the race trial that sends him to the Supreme Court, Paul Beatty's The Sellout showcases a comic genius at the top of his game. It challenges the sacred tenets of the United States Constitution, urban life, the civil rights movement, the father-son relationship, and the holy grail of racial equality: the black Chinese restaurant. Born in the "agrarian ghetto" of Dickens - on the southern outskirts of Los Angeles - the narrator of The Sellout resigns himself to the fate of lower-middle-class Californians: "I'd die in the same bedroom I'd grown up in, looking up at the cracks in the stucco ceiling that've been there since the '68 quake." Raised by a single father, a controversial sociologist, he spent his childhood as the subject in racially charged psychological studies. He is led to believe that his father's pioneering work will result in a memoir that will solve his family's financial woes. But when his father is killed in a police shoot-out, he realizes there never was a memoir. All that's left is the bill for a drive-thru funeral. Fuelled by this deceit and the general disrepair of his hometown, the narrator sets out to right another wrong: Dickens has literally been removed from the map to save California from further embarrassment. Enlisting the help of the town's most famous resident - the last surviving Little Rascal, Hominy Jenkins - he initiates the most outrageous action conceivable: reinstating slavery and segregating the local high school, which lands him in the Supreme Court.
©2015 Paul Beatty (P)2015 Audible, Inc.
A vibrant new novel from Penelope Lively - a wry, wise story about the surprising ways lives intersect. When Charlotte Rainsford, a retired schoolteacher, is accosted by a petty thief on a London street, the consequences ripple across the lives of acquaintances and strangers alike. A marriage unravels after an illicit love affair is revealed through an errant cell phone message; a posh yet financially strapped interior designer meets a business partner who might prove too good to be true; an old-guard historian tries to recapture his youthful vigor with an ill-conceived idea for a TV miniseries; and a middle-aged central European immigrant learns to speak English and reinvents his life with the assistance of some new friends. Through a richly conceived and colorful cast of characters, Penelope Lively explores the powerful role of chance in people's lives and deftly illustrates how our paths can be altered irrevocably by someone we will never even meet. Brought to life in her hallmark graceful prose and full of keen insights into human nature, How It All Began is an engaging, contemporary tale that is sure to strike a chord with her legion of loyal fans as well as new readers. A writer of rare wisdom, elegance, and humor, Lively is a consummate storyteller whose gifts are on full display in this masterful work.
©2012 Penelope Lively (P)2011 Audible, Inc.
Parks and Recreation meets The Blue Collar Comedy Tour in this third book in Molly Harper's Bluegrass series of contemporary romances: A love triangle of colleagues heats up the winter lodge where they get snowed in for a week. Kentucky Tourism Commission employee and executive assistant extraordinaire Kelsey is known around the office for having everything under control. So it's not surprising that she and her boss, Sadie, have everything planned to the second for the office winter retreat. But there are things even Kelsey can't micromanage. An unprecedented snowstorm smothers half of Kentucky and knocks out the power, closes the roads, and generally shuts down the state. Luckily, the lodge has working fireplaces and enough food to keep the staff from turning on each other like something out of The Shining. Kelsey wouldn't mind being stuck inside if it wasn't for the tension with her not-so-secret crush, Charlie, the office's statistician. But handsome Ranger Luke, the lodge's only employee on hand, is there to take Kelseys mind off her discomfort. Even though this weekend is supposed to be a planning session for KTC, Kelsey cant help her mind from wandering and finds herself conflicted over Luke and Charlie. Someone's love will keep her warm, but whose will it be?
©2014 Molly Harper White (P)2014 Audible Inc.
Audible narration by David Harbour (Stranger Things) Nature or nurture? Neither. Discover a bold new way to raise a child in this unsettling story of the near future by the New York Times bestselling author of A Gentleman in Moscow. When Sams wife first tells him about Vitek, a twenty-first-century fertility lab, he sees it as the natural next step in trying to help their future child get a leg up in a competitive world. But the more Sam considers the lives that his child could lead, the more he begins to question his own relationships and the choices he has made in his life. Amor Towless You Have Arrived at Your Destination is part of Forward, a collection of six stories of the near and far future from out-of-this-world authors. Each piece can be read or listened to in a single thought-provoking sitting.
©2019 Cetology, Inc. (P)2019 Brilliance Publishing, Inc., all rights reserved.
Sherman can't understand why his wife is so mad, but he doesn't really care. All he needs is some food. If any men out there can sympathize with his plight and drop something off for him, he'll be a happy man. If you want to know what happened and why Sherman is not only on the run from his wife but being carefully watched by the police, listen to his letter.
©2015 Jason Wallace (P)2015 Jason Wallace
The humorous LitRPG adventure continues! The One-Armed Warlock A cosmetic wizard hat. Some heart-patterned boxers. A pair of trademarked shoes. Those were the only items I could equip after being granted a second chance at life - all the stuff I met the minimal requirements for, but whatever. I wouldnt fret. This was my shot to redeem myself and to continue serving the one true Voidlord. Like any warlock, I suppose, I had great ambitions. But first...there was the little issue of finding a way back to Earth from Bognaroths Lair. This is the second leg of my adventure (certainly not the second arm) and how I became known to everyone, even your mom, as the one-armed warlock.
©2020 Durl White (P)2020 Durl White
Is there room for two in that sleeping bag? When it comes to love, a chiseled loner takes the scenic route in this irresistible stand-alone from the author of Eye Candy ["Truly the perfect romantic comedy." (Lauren Layne]. Dax: After spending months buried up to my eyeballs in my family's affairs, I'm ready for a break. The kind of break where I can spend two solid weeks camping and fishing in the company of absolutely no one. Then I find myself directly in the path of a drop-dead gorgeous tornado by the name of Becca Stone. Who can resist a night with a damsel in distress? Especially when she happens to be a leggy blonde? The last thing I expect is for Becca to show up on my cabin doorstep the next night, shivering in the rain and ready for seconds. Becca: One minute I'm admiring the rock-hard jaw of the Magic Mike lookalike who walks into my bar, and the next I'm getting fired by my own brother. Loudly. In front of everyone. Luckily Dax Vaughn is a gentleman who aims his white-hot smile at me. Oh, it's on. Wham, bam, thank you ma'am. Then a torrential storm washes out the main road and causes a massive power outage, giving us two whole weeks to enjoy each other's company. At which point Dax will go back home, leaving "us" in the rearview mirror. That's the plan. Or it was...until I started falling for him. Look for Jessica Lemmon's stand-alone romances with heartfelt HEAs: Fighting for Devlin Forgotten Promises Shut Up and Kiss Me Eye Candy Arm Candy Man Candy
©2018 Jessica Lemmon (P)2018 Audible, Inc.
Shandee finds a friendly arm at a granite quarry. Ned drops down a hole in a golf course. Luna meets a man made of light bulbs at a tanning parlor. So begins Nicholson Baker's fuse-blowing, sex-positive escapade, House of Holes. Baker, the best-selling author of The Mezzanine, Vox, and The Fermata, who "writes like no one else in America" (Newsweek), returns to erotic territory with a gleefully over-the-top novel set in a pleasure resort, where normal rules don't apply. Visitors, pulled in via their drinking straws or the dryers in laundromats, can undergo crotchal transfers... make love to trees... visit the Groanrooms and the 12-screen Porndecahedron... or pussy-surf the White Lake. It's very expensive, of course, but there are work-study programs. In charge of day-to-day operations is Lila, a former hospital administrator whose breast milk has unusual regenerative properties. Brimful of good-nature, wit, and surreal sexual vocabulary, House of Holes is a modern-day Hieronymous Boschian bacchanal that is sure to surprise, amuse, and arouse.
©2011 Nicholson Baker (P)2011 Audible, Inc.
Take a trip to the best little bakery in Brooklyn, where theres more than a sprinkle of romance and a slice of pie makes it feel like home! When Sophie Bennings arrives in New York, love is the last thing on her mind. Still reeling from a painful breakup, she throws herself into her work as a food editor on a top-notch magazine. Columnist Todd McLennan is everything that Sophie wishes she didnt want. Like the gorgeous bakery below her Brooklyn apartment, hes as tempting as the delicious cupcakes on display. Surely a little of what you fancy can do you good? As Sophie and Todd get to know one another, a love of food isnt the only passion they share. In the city that never sleeps, has Sophie finally met the man of her dreams....
©2019 Julie Caplin (P)2019 HarperCollins Publishers Limited
What happens when the right girl and the right guy meet at the wrong time? One thing that can be said about Quinn Pearson is that she has a knack for doing the wrong thing at the wrong time. Like, the worst time ever. Take her job for instance. One little slip of the tongue using the mother of all swear words while reporting the news, and suddenly she finds herself with over 18 million views on YouTube and her employment in jeopardy. If that wasnt bad enough, when she meets the man of her dreams, she nearly chokes to death on a powdered sugar donut. Thankfully for Quinn, the dashing Brit, Henry, finds her near death experience quite charming. But just when Quinn thinks her luck is going to change, she finds out her timing is all wrong again. Henry is off limits. Or is he? Maybe its time for Quinn to quit settling for what life hands her. Perhaps it's time for her to become more than just a girl.
©2020 Becky Monson (P)2020 Becky Monson
Sam Archers life is about to become a lot more complicated. His girlfriend, Freya Rosetti, has just discovered she has a daughter, which shouldnt even be possible given that shes never been pregnant. And his fiancé, Lily Dodson, is being haunted by an act she committed in self-defense. Not to mention the appearance of an arrogant superhero with a god-complex who just wont take no for an answer, and who is determined to make their lives miserable in any way he can. All the while, they anxiously wait for Sams supposed friend, Nick Parker, to meet with the shadow organizations contact to try to discover who is responsible for the immortal supers repeated torment over the years. Can Sam sort through the mess unraveling before him, and keep his family safe in the process? Is he willing to forgive those who have wronged him, and maybe gain a few friends along the way? Warning: This audiobook contains adult content that may not be suitable for all audiences, including suggestive adult scenes, slight harem elements, graphic violence, talk about self-harming behavior, and alcohol consumption/drug use. However, this book does not attempt to glorify any of the negative topics mentioned previously, and it has both parts that you may find wholesome as well as parts that may make you cry.
©2019 Kurtis Eckstein (P)2019 Kurtis Eckstein
Things are not well within the Lodrak Empire. An entire city goes up in smoke and ash, and an entire province is slowly being consumed by an ever-expanding cloud of death. But while the humans rally to contain the fallout of this disaster, they are much quicker to pin the blame for it on their elven neighbors to the north. With centuries' worth of strife and bad blood between the two nations flaring up, all out war is rapidly becoming an inevitability. Powerful figures are already on the move. Some wish to unravel the mystery behind the dead city in order to bring the perpetrators to justice. Others are more than content enough to use this "act of terrorism" as an excuse to further the Empire's agenda. A select few are even planning on somehow turning this cataclysm into a weapon for the sake of their ambitions. The elves of the Ishigar Republic are hard at work undermining and sabotaging their old enemy, while the international community watches the ongoing situation with a critical eye. Even the Gods themselves are closely monitoring the situation, ready to intervene should they deem it necessary. However, though all these entities have different reasons and methods, they all have the same objective - to find the mastermind responsible for setting all this in motion. The same "mastermind" that is far too busy figuring out how wagons work to notice the world is stirring. Content warning: Profanity, gore, violence, explicit adult content.
©2018 Neven Iliev (P)2018 Soundbooth Theater
Audie Award Nominee, Best Solo Narration, 2013 Jerzy Kosinskis clever parable of a naive man thrust into the modern world is more pointed now than ever. Academy Award winner Dustin Hoffman (Rain Man, The Graduate), perhaps best known for his portrayals of vulnerable characters and antiheroes, gives an understated and exemplary performance of this satiric look at the unreality of American media culture. Chance, the enigmatic gardener, becomes Chauncey Gardiner after getting hit by a limo belonging to a Wall Street tycoon. The whirlwind that follows brings Chance to his new status of political policy advisor and possible vice presidential candidate. His garden-variety political responses, inspired by television, become heralded as visionary, and he is soon a media icon due to his unknown background and vague, yet appealing, conversational nature. Being There was adapted into an Academy Award-winning film, starring Peter Sellers as Chance, in 1979.
©1971 Jerzy Kosinski (P)2012 Audible, Inc.
The ivied walls of Blandings Castle have seldom glowed as sunnily as in these wonderful stories - but there are snakes in the rolling parkland ready to nip Clarence, the absent-minded Ninth Earl of Emsworth, when he least expects it. For a start the Empress of Blandings, in the running for her first prize in the Fat Pigs Class at the Shropshire Agricultural Show, is off her food - and can only be coaxed back to the trough by a call in her own language. Then there is the feud with Head Gardener McAllister, aided by Clarence's sister, the terrifying Lady Constance, and the horrible prospect of the summer fête - twin problems solved by the arrival of a delightfully rebellious little girl from London. But first of all there is the vexed matter of the custody of the pumpkin. Skipping an ocean and a continent, Wodehouse also treats us to some unputdownable stories of excess from the monstrous Golden Age of Hollywood.
©1971 The Estate of P.G. Wodehouse (P)2014 Audible, Inc.
Von derb bis feinherb - Jürgen von der Lippe beherrscht alle Zwischentöne des komischen Handwerkes und unterhält so praktisch jedes Publikum. Der literaturinteressierte Teil desselben erinnert sich vielleicht noch an seine TV-Show "Und was liest du?". In diesem Hörbuch sind die besten publikumserprobten Texte der Sendung - von Horst Evers über Frank Goosen und Harald Martenstein bis zu Dietmar Wischmeyer - in einer Live-Lesung aus dem Berliner "Babylon-Mitte" enthalten.
©2018 Bastei Lübbe (P)2018 Lübbe Audio
Olive's best friend is dying, and she has one final wish. With Olive's help, she wants to track down her first love, her 'Big Sexy Love' Chuck. But there's a problem: Chuck's in New York, and Olive has never left her hometown. Also, Chuck does not seem to want to be found. It's going to take bravery and a whole lot of Big Sexy Love to make this happen....
©2017 Kirsty Greenwood (P)2017 W.F. Howes Ltd
Paulie Vergen is your average, everyday vampire. He's short, overweight, and balding, and he's a bit lacking in the realm of self-confidence. Life was what it was for Paulie until the day that a newly infected werewolf landed on his doorstep. That day launched the one (and only, to this point) adventure that Paulie had ever had ... and it was a doozy. Since new werewolves suffer from amnesia, Paulie dubs the werewolf "Mr. Biscuits" by night and "Burt Biscuits" by day (you know, because werewolves are only werewolves at night and all). Paulie has to help Burt get to Yezan, the land of the werewolves, in order to find help in getting Burt's memories back. Unfortunately, Stelan Bumache - the notable assassin who works for King Larkin in Yezan - has been hired to kill Burt. Will Paulie and Burt successfully navigate the treacherous path from Viq to Yezan while avoiding attempts by Stelan Bumache to destroy them both?
©2014 John P. Logsdon & Christopher P. Young (P)2016 Living Audio, C.I.C.
Sissy Hankshaw, an almost flawlessly beautiful small-town girl with big-time dreams, hitchhikes her way into your heart, your hopes, and your sleeping bag in Tom Robbins's magical, funny, and most famous novel. Follow Sissy's amazing odyssey from Virginia to chic Manhattan to the Dakota Badlands, where FBI agents, cowgirls, and ecstatic whooping cranes explode in a deliciously drawn-out climax. Along the way, you'll meet such unforgettable characters as Bonanza Jellybean and the smooth-riding cowgirls of Rubber Rose Ranch; Chink, the lascivious guru of yams and yang; Julian, an asthmatic Mohawk; and Dr. Robbins, the preventive psychiatrist and reality instructor. Even Cowgirls Get the Blues is Tom Robbins at his offbeat, outrageous, and inventive best.
©1976 by Thomas Robbins (P)1993 Dove Audio, Inc.
God is dead. Died and fell into the sea. That's what Raphael, a despondent angel with luminous white wings and a blinking halo, tells Anthony Van Horne on his 50th birthday. Soon, Van Horne is charged with captaining the supertanker Carpco Valparaiso (flying the colors of the Vatican) as it tows the two-mile-long corpse through the Atlantic toward the Arctic, in order to preserve Him from sharks and decomposition. Van Horne must also contend with ecological guilt, a militant girlfriend, an estranged father, sabotage both natural and spiritual, a crew on (and sometimes past) the brink of mutiny, and greedy hucksters of oil, condoms, and doubtful ideas. As he rings his wild, Vonnegutian changes on everything from male chauvinism to the Catholic Church, James Morrow once again proves himself to be one of the premiere satirists of our time while still managing to capture some of the beauty and sorrow in the world.
©2020 Dreamscape Media, LLC (P)2020 Dreamscape Media, LLC
NATIONAL BEST SELLER
This brilliant new novel is an urgent bulletin from an all-too-believable near future in which the religious right has come out on top. And where a smart young girl who questions the new order is suddenly a terrorist. By the best-selling author of The Girls and The Mountain Story.
Taking place over 48 hours in the year 2024, this is the story of Rory Anne Miller, on the run with her best friend because they are accused of bombing their posh Californian high school during an American Virtue Ball. There's a bounty on their heads, and a social media storm of trolls flying around them, not to mention a posse of law enforcement, attack helicopters, and drones trying to track them down. Rory's mom, a social activist and lawyer, has been arrested and implicated in her daughter's "crimes" whereas her dad (who betrayed his wife and daughter in a nasty divorce) is cooperating with the authorities. The story exists in a universe of gated communities, born-again Christians, Probationary Citizens (once known as "Dreamers"), re-criminalized abortion and birth control, teenage virginity oaths and something called the Red Market, which is either a Conservative bogey-man created to further polarize the "base" or a criminal network making money from selling unwanted babies to whomever wants them and fetal tissue to cosmetics and drug companies.
Rory is cynical and scared, furious and scathing, betrayed and looking for something or someone to trust. What she has to say about the dads and bosses and politicians lining up to keep women in their place, and about the ways women collaborate in their own undermining, is fierce, and funny, and sad, and true.
©2019 Lori Lansens (P)2019 Random House Canada
Internationally best-selling author Alexander McCall Smith, creator of the No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency novels, offers the third installment from his popular Scotland Street series. The endearing denizens of 44 Scotland Street soldier on, both domestically and across the globe, in this entertaining mosaic that is filled with the author's trademark wit and charm.
©2007 Alexander McCall Smith (P)2007 Recorded Books
Sue Johnston, John Hannah and Eddie Marsan are among the stars of this spellbinding, hilarious and uplifting comedy drama. Set entirely at a series of weekly Alcoholics Anonymous meetings, these 13 episodes also feature Rebecca Front, Paul Kaye, Julia Deakin and Samantha Bond.
Love in Recovery follows the lives of five very different recovering alcoholics. Eddie Marsan is Andy, the sweet but simple group leader. Sue Johnston is Julie, who's been known to have the odd relapse here and there - and everywhere. John Hannah is Simon, a snide journalist with a big secret. Rebecca Front is the snobby and guarded Fiona, who used to be a banker who had it all and then lost the lot. Paul Kaye is Danno, a dodgy geezer with no front teeth but a lot of heart.
During the course of two series and a special Christmas episode, we hear them get to know each other, get on each other's nerves, laugh, argue, fall apart, fall in love and, most importantly, tell their stories.
Written and created by Pete Jackson, Love in Recovery is inspired by his own road to recovery.
©2016 Pete Jackson (P)2016 BBC Worldwide Ltd.
In this sci-fi comedy, Bonnie Neman is training to be a tour guide at Exponential Innovations, a scientific community run amuck with its own hubris. Javier Costello is a genetic engineer tasked with designing a shrink ray. Together, in a place where even the employees are part of a grander experiment, they'll achieve something impossible.
©2012 Keith Blenman (P)2019 Keith Blenman
Being one of the guys isn't all it's cracked up to be. So when journalist Chastity O'Neill returns to her hometown, she decides it's time to start working on some of those feminine wiles. Two tiny problems: one - she's five feet and 11 inches of rock-solid girl power; two - she's cursed with four alpha-male older brothers. While doing a story on local heroes, she meets a hunky doctor, and things start to look up. Now there's only one problem: Trevor Meade, her first love and the one man she's never quite gotten over -although he seems to have gotten over her just fine. Yet the more time she spends with Dr. Perfect, the better Trevor looks. But even with the in-your-face competition, the irresistible Trevor just can't seem to see Chastity as anything more than just one of the guys....
©2008 Kristan Higgins (P)2015 Recorded Books
Instead of the world ending in 2012, the majority of the population turned into were-beings of their totem animal. Peter, Quinn, Romeo, and Sam are four (lame) shapeshifters (platypus, mosquito, piranha, sloth) who also happen to be best friends and members of a (terrible) garage band. But the local Battle of the Bands is happening on the full moon, and the boys are forced to turn to Sam's non-were (Goth) sister Natalie to help them out....
©2017 Alethea Kontis (P)2018 Alethea Kontis
Madison Spencer, the liveliest, snarkiest dead girl in the universe, continues the adventures in the afterlife begun in Damned. Having somewhat reluctantly escaped from hell, she now wanders the purgatory that is Earth as a ghostly spirit, seeking her do-gooding celebrity parents, fighting the malign control of Satan, recounting the disgracefully funny encounter with her grandfather in a fetid highway rest stop in upstate New York when she - oh, never mind - and climaxing in a rendezvous with destiny on the new, totally plastic continent in the Pacific called, not at all accidentally, Madlantis. Dante Alighieri, watch your back. Chuck Palahniuk is gaining on you.
©2013 Chuck Palahniuk (P)2013 Blackstone Audio, Inc.
Think of a cross between Doctor Strangelove and The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt. Don is a clerk in the Quick Stop convenience store with a problem: He suddenly cant remember his past or what hes doing here. He thinks maybe hes an angel sent on a mission. With Sancha, his only friend and fellow clerk, Don and Sancha of the Q set out on a quest to do some good and find out why hes here. Maybe it has something to do with the stolen atomic bomb in Don Qs basement. Maybe. "Don of the Q is highly recommended as an original, involving read that pushes the boundaries of comedy, stormy relationships, and social commentary alike." (D. Donovan, Senior Reviewer, Midwest Book Review)
©2020 Michael Guillebeau (P)2020 Michael Guillebeau
Dumped? For her husbands high school sweetheart he hasnt seen in twenty years? Roberta Jones Spivey isnt going to lay down for that. Instead, she reinvents herself and the new Bobbie Jones - new haircut, new name, new attitude - follows her soon-to-be ex to the small Northern California town of Cottonmouth. What better way to show him - and his sweetheart - what hes missing in the brand new Bobbie Jones than taking up with the towns local bad boy - whos also reputed to be a serial killer. Nick Angel is devilishly handsome and sexy as all get-out. In a word, perfect. Its all going exactly according to plan... until a real murder rocks the little town of Cottonmouth. Of course, Nick didnt do it... did he? Shes Gotta Be Mine, previously published as Sex and the Serial Killer, is a contemporary romance. ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Jennifer Skully is an award-winning author. Her sexy contemporary romances and mysteries will make you laugh out loud. Erotic romance writer Jasmine Haynes is Jennifer Skully's alternate pseudonym, for those of you looking for the really steamy stuff.
©2011 Jennifer Skully (P)2013 Jennifer Skully
Finding themselves permanently stuck in this strange new world, the gang tries to make the best of it by finding the nearest tavern and getting shitfaced. The plan goes just fine until they lose Katherine and Chaz. They soon discover that they aren't the first players Mordred has sent to this world.
©2013 Robert Bevan (P)2015 Robert Bevan
A heartwarming tale of office life, homicide and biscuits, which was longlisted for the Bath Novel Award 2017. Jonathon Fairfax, the worlds most socially awkward hero, works for a giant corporation where he specialises in muttering um and tripping over bins. When he accidentally discovers a colossal corporate conspiracy, it soon becomes clear that someone will do anything to keep it a secret - including murder. Listen to this audiobook on its own or as a follow-up to The Perpetual Astonishment of Jonathon Fairfax - a best seller that was shortlisted for the Bath Novel Award 2014.
©2019 Christopher Shevlin (P)2019 W. F. Howes Ltd
Suzanne's not sure she has what it takes to be the best mother to her daughter, Honey. She can't seem to shake the blues from losing Honey's father to Nick, the man who got the man who got away. Or maybe those aren't the blues, just more symptoms of her sprawling multi-symptomatic bipolar illness: an illness Suzanne can't bring herself to take all that seriously, no matter what her doctors say. How serious can an illness be whose symptoms are spending sprees, substance abuse, and sexual promiscuity? And worst of all, under the watchful round eyes of the pills the doctors' plied her with, her friends are starting to find her a little...boring. The obvious solution is to take a little walk on the wild side. But what starts out as a brief gambol through the scary/fun world of 21st-century dating becomes a vigorous jog-trot through the latest drug wonderland, and finally a wild gallop toward a psychotic breakdown and a stay in "the bin." Based on a truant's story, The Best Awful is Carrie Fisher's most powerful and revealing novel: hilarious, moving, and fully informed by the wisdom of a true survivor.
©2004 Deliquese, Inc. (P)2004 Simon & Schuster, Inc. AUDIOWORKS is an imprint of Simon & Schuster Audio Division, Simon & Schuster, Inc.
This is a work of humorous fantasy as well as political parody. Any persons who actually exist are public figures and depictions here are exaggerated and used for purposes of satire and political commentary as protected by law and the first amendment of the US constitution. In this, the first story in a new series featuring a character from Dark Elves, Dragons and Dinosaurs as well as Beholder Baseball and Other Bad Ideas, Magnus the scientist who formerly "dated" Lorelei the dark elf priestess is now in Manhattan and single. He is visited in the dead of night by a dead folksinger, who is now a vampire and needs his assistance on a mission to take down a dangerous necromancer. He tells him his ex-girlfriend is already handling it (see The Succubus Apprentice) but Phil says not that necromancer. Another one. One who is on the verge of becoming president.
©2016 Amanda Lash (P)2017 Amanda Lash
The record-breaking, best-selling sequel to Spud!
It's 1991, and John "Spud" Milton's journey to manhood is still creeping along at a snail's pace. Nearly 15, Spud's starting his second year at boarding school and - to his utter mortification - he's still a spud!
To make things worse, his dorm mates, the legendary Crazy Eight, have an unusual new member (Roger the cat), and his house is home to a new batch of unruly first-years. Spud is soon plagued with women trouble, coerced into expulsion-worthy adventures, and frustrated to find his dreams of fame in tatters after landing the part of the Dove of Peace in a disastrous production of Noah's Ark.
Join Spud as he takes another tentative step forward while all around him the madness continues....
©2007 John van de Ruit (P)2019 Listening Library
2020 revised and expanded edition of Neanderthal Seeks Human and Neanderthal Marries Human from the Knitting in the City Series Neanderthal Seeks Human, Book 1 in the Knitting in the City Series There are three things you need to know about Janie Morris: 1) She is incapable of engaging in a conversation without volunteering TMTI (Too Much Trivial Information), especially when she is unnerved, 2) No one unnerves her more than Quinn Sullivan, and 3) She doesn't know how to knit. After losing her boyfriend, apartment, and job in the same day, Janie Morris can't help wondering what new torment fate has in store. To her utter mortification, Quinn Sullivan - aka Sir McHotpants - witnesses it all then keeps turning up like a pair of shoes you lust after but can't afford. The last thing she expects is for Quinn to make her an offer she can't refuse. New York Times best-selling author Penny Reids debut novel! Neanderthal Seeks Human is book 1 one in the Knitting in the City series. Each book is a standalone, contemporary romantic comedy novel, and follows the misadventures and exploits of seven friends in Chicago, all members of the same knitting group. Neanderthal Marries Human, Book 1.5 in the Knitting in the City Series There are three things you should know about Quinn Sullivan: 1) He is madly in love with Janie Morris, 2) Hes not above playing dirty to get what (or who) he wants, and 3) He doesnt know how to knit. After just five months of dating Janie, Quinn - former Wendell and unapologetic autocrat - is ready to propose marriage. In fact, hes more than ready. If it were up to Quinn, he would efficiently propose, marry, and beget Janie with child all in the same day - thereby avoiding the drama and angst that accompanies the four stages of pre-matrimony: Engagement, meeting the parents, bachelor/bachelorette party, and overblown, superfluous wedding day traditions. But Janie, much to Quinns dismay, tosses a wrench in his efficacious endeavors and challenges him to prove his devotion by going through the matrimonial motions, no matter how minute and mundane. Will Quinn last until the wedding day? Or will he yield to his tyrant impulses? This book is not a standalone. It is the sequel to Neanderthal Seeks Human, and is book #1.5 in the Knitting in the City series.
©2014 Cipher-Naught (P)2020 Cipher-Naught
Mr. Quark is a down-on-his-luck pot smuggler hiding out in the mountains of Columbia with his dog, High Pockets, and a small band of banditos led by the irascible José. Times are lean, and to liven up their exile, José decides to mug a family of American tourists. Among the spoils are physics texts, which launch Mr. Quark on a sidesplitting, boisterous adventure north to California, where he confronts the owner of the books with his own theories on relativity, on the nature of the universe, and on looking for the meaning of life in all the wrong places.
©2001 Alan Weisbecker (P)2009 Blackstone Audio, Inc.
Urlaubsunterhaltung auf die Ohren - auf nach Sizilien! Seit sie Rentnerin ist, hat Monika Renner viel zu viel Zeit. Zeit zum Nachdenken über Vincenzo, ihre große Liebe von einst, und seinen plötzlichen Tod. Da erreicht Moni eine Nachricht von Lena, einer jungen Deutschen, die in Italien lebt. Von ihr erfährt sie Unglaubliches: Vincenzo ist gar nicht tot, sondern lebt als Orangenbauer auf Sizilien. Wie kann das sein? Moni ist empört und reist mit ihrem Enkel Jan nach Palermo. Gemeinsam mit Lena versuchen sie, Vincenzo zu finden. Monis Suche ruft aber nicht nur die Behörden, sondern auch windige Mafiosi auf den Plan. Doch zu Jans Überraschung kann Oma Moni es selbst mit dem furchteinflößendsten Mafiaboss aufnehmen...
©2018 Ullstein Buchverlage, Berlin (P)2019 Hörbuch Hamburg HHV GmbH, Hamburg
In the player-versus-player MMORPG, Fantasy Realms Online, people live out the fantasies they can't in real life, no matter how bloody or sexy they might be, and Kromgorn the Barbarian is no exception. He and his guildies make constant warfare against their rivals in the Secret Order, a guild led by the dark Lich-Lord, who's also rumored to be a crazy hacker in real life, and they make fun of players who just use the game for stupid things like getting laid. But when the Lich-Lord releases a powerful spell that traps most of the players in the game permanently, Kromgorn accidentally winds up stuck in the avatar of his friend, Lacey - a stupid, low-level female character that was designed exclusively to get down and dirty with the in-game pleasure system. Even worse, he gets captured by the orcs and thrown into their harem dungeon, where he finds he's powerless to resist his captors! The developers really modeled female bodies correctly in this game, and it's humiliating to have to go from being a high-level barbarian to a simpering little harem girl. With his guild drawing closer to an epic encounter with the Lich-Lord, they need all the high-level players they can get! Will Krom figure out a way to get himself out of this useless body and get back in time to help his friends, or will he be stuck forever working on his back in a dirty harem dungeon? The only way out of this mess might be to give in to his situation and embrace his new body in order to outmaneuver his foes. Who knows? He might even end up enjoying himself.... With hours of humorous, gender-swapped fantasy action and some very steamy scenes, this audiobook is intended for mature audiences who enjoy FF and MF encounters with lots of gender-bending fun.
©2017, 2018 Alyson Belle (P)2018 Alyson Belle
An irreverent, liberal, twisty time-travel comedy!
What if you could make a change to history that would eliminate the Spanish Inquisition, American slavery, World War II, global warming, and an egomaniacal US president who thought he was smart enough to drop nuclear bombs here and there without negative consequences? What if that change also made the United States and five billion people poof from existence? Would you do it?
When alien time travel specialists, the Krichards, learn of President Handley's game of dodge-the-mushroom-cloud, they race to Earth to investigate. For them, the question of whether it's worth it to change history is easy to answer, but they will only proceed if the human they deem best qualified to represent Earth agrees to make the change. Erasing Handley's nuclear annihilation will require a quick jump to AD 31 to correct an error in history. If the Krichards select a brilliant scientist or an elite athlete for the task, Earth may be in good hands. Instead they select Marty Mann, a mildly successful travel writer whose only superpower is not taking life too seriously. What could possibly go wrong?
Spanning from the Cretaceous period to 2056, Time Is Irreverent is a hilarious, thought-provoking satire, with unpredictable twists, colorful aliens, huge dinosaurs, a smokin' hot lesbian from the future, and a cameo from Jesus Christ himself!
Publisher's Warning: This book is intended for a liberal audience and features satirical content that may not be appropriate for Donald Trump supporters or those who are offended by views that challenge traditional religious beliefs. Common side effects include wide smiles, sudden laughter, and occasional snorts. Listener discretion is advised.
©2018 Marty Essen (P)2018 Marty Essen
Sie gehen ständig in die Sauna, haben Millionen Handys und leben mit Milliarden von Mücken. Finnen sind eigenwillig, aber Wolfram Eilenberger liebt sie. Ganz besonders eine. Deswegen zieht er mit ihr vor 14 Jahren für ein halbes Jahr nach Finnland. Mittlerweile hat er festgestellt: Sie sind wunderbar, aber irgendwie spinnen sie auch. Sie sprechen wenig und nur nach langen Denkpausen. Sie sagen niemals: "Ich liebe dich", aber sie zeugen die intelligentesten Kinder der Welt. Christoph Maria Herbst liest das witzigste und unterhaltsamste Buch der Saison!
©2010 Verlagsgruppe Random House (P)2010 Schall und Wahn GmbH
Journal of an Outlaw is a comedic take on the fantasy genre. It is a book with 120 journal entries that tell you the adventures on an unnamed rogue in the Unremembered Realms. The book has numerous winks to Lord of the Rings, Dungeons & Dragons, roleplaying games, World of Warcraft, social media, Wizards of the Coast, board games, and many others. The author treats these with love and respect, but also with a tongue-in-cheek approach that fans of the fantasy genre will truly appreciate. The book is meant for adults, but the humor is safe for kids to hear. The references and situations that the Outlaw finds himself in will have you listening on to see what other mess he's gotten himself into.
©2017 Mick McArt (P)2017 Mick McArt
A chance meeting on a train brought together Lord Ickenham and Bill Oakshott, although being told that the love of his life, Hermione, was engaged to none other than Pongo, Lord Ickenham's nephew, did not make Bill feel like he'd been struck behind the ear. And what with the usual amount of stirring goings-on at Ashendon Manor that include biffings and black eyes and duckings in duck ponds, is there any chance that it will ever work out for poor Bill?
©2014 P.G. Wodehouse (P)2014 Audible, Inc.
Steph Garvey has been married to husband Si for 24 years. She thought they were soulmates until recently. Si is worried about middle-age spread and money. Hes also aware things arent right with Steph. But Si has forgotten the art of romance. Their son Tom has finished Sixth Form. He knows where hes going regarding a career, but not quite so sure where hes going regarding women. Widowed neighbour June adores the Garveys as if her own. And although shes 70, shes still up for romance. But then Cupid's arrow misfires causing madness and mayhem. Steph rekindles a childhood crush with Barry Hastings; Si unwittingly finds himself being seduced by barmaid Dawn; June discovers Harry is more than hot to trot; and Tom's latest strumpet impacts on all of them. Will Cupid's arrow strike again and, more importantly, strike correctly? There's only one way to find out....
©2012 Debbie Viggiano (P)2019 W. F. Howes Ltd
The only problem with getting everything you ever wanted is that it forces you to reassess everything you ever wanted in the first place. Thirty-two-year-old Dan Johnson has it all; a nine-digit net worth, a gorgeous fiancé and a luxury riverside brownstone. The only problem is, he doesnt want any of it. And the endless distractions of digitized society give him no head space to figure out what he does want. So, Dan unplugs. He abandons all things digital technology, effectively retreating from society to live an analog lifestyle geared at perfecting the art of avoidance. When a case of mistaken identity launches Dan into a series of bizarro relationships and absurd events, it represents an unexpected path to reconnect him with a world he never knew existed. Dark, offbeat and laugh-out-loud funny, Unplugged is a coming of middle-age story about finding authentic connections and meaning in todays hyper-digitized society.
©2020 Black Rose Writing (P)2020 Black Rose Writing
A man consumed by a meaningless life is going to do something hes never considered doing before. Hes going to enjoy the day... For hyper-particular publishing heir Jonathan Grief, the day starts like any other - with a strict morning fitness regimen thatll keep his divorced, easily irritated, cynical, forty-two-year-old self in absolutely flawless physical condition. But all it takes to put a crimp in his routine is one small annoyance. Someone has left a leather-bound day planner with the handwritten title Your Perfect Year in his spot on his mountain bike at his fitness course! Determined to discover its owner, Jonathan opens the calendar to find that someone known only as H. has filled it in with suggestions, tasks, and affirmative actions for each day. The more he devotes himself to locating the elusive H., the deeper Jonathan is drawn into someone elses rich and generous narrative - and into an attitude adjustment he desperately needs. He may have ended up with a perfect year by accident, but it seems fate has set Jonathan on a path toward healing, feeling, and maybe even loving again...if only he can meet the stranger whos changing his life one day at a time.
©2019 by Charlotte Lucas. (P)2019 Brilliance Publishing, Inc., all rights reserved.
My Man Jeeves is a collection of short stories by P. G. Wodehouse, first published in the United Kingdom in May 1919. Of the eight stories in the collection, half feature the popular characters Jeeves and Bertie Wooster, while the others concern Reggie Pepper, an early prototype for Bertie Wooster.
Public Domain (P)2019 Flâneur Media
Jesse Boston is the man of my dreams. He's super sexy, super rich, and super funny. He gets all my jokes, he treats me like a princess, and our love life is smokin' hot. So I'm gonna marry him. I'm not real picky about how that happens, and if my mother wants to have her say, fine. That's fine. She gave birth to three boys and just one girl. So I get it. She NEEDS a wedding. But when she invites my childhood nemesis, KAREN, to plan our wedding AND be one of my bride's maids? Uh - no. It's not happening. Karen Krakken Channing will not plan my wedding, will not be at my wedding, and she's certainly not going to be IN my wedding. Luckily, my jet-butler, Miles, and my almost-husband get this great idea! We're going to elope to Vegas on Christmas Eve eve, get hitched in the most ridiculous way possible, and then fly home in time for Christmas Eve dinner. We've got it all figured out. Nothing can go wrong. We will have one simple wedding in like...a drive-through chapel, and call it good. Take that, KAREN! Bossy Bride is the fourth book in the Bossy Brothers series, but this is a standalone wedding book, and you do not need to listen to all the books in the series to thoroughly enjoy Bossy Bride! Includes a special bonus note from the author. Bossy Bride features Jesse and Emma getting almost-hitched on a roller coaster, tricked into being the stars of a pirate show, jumping out of an airplane, and saying their vows in front of two huge Italian families who dont speak English. Its a rompy, whirlwind trip down a rabbit hole of "Fantasy" Vegas weddings planned by a man called "Fingers" and just when you think nothing else could go wrong - a mermaid descends from the ceiling.
©2019 JA Huss (P)2020 Podium Audio
Never has an unexpected guest caused such chaos! Three couples take it in turns to host a monthly dinner party. Beth, Sarah and Marie have been friends forever. Now they are grown up, with busy lives, busy husbands, busy kids...but they still find time to meet up over dinner once a month. A cosy, comfortable gathering of happy couples - or so they thought. Until one night, someone brings along a last-minute guest whose wife has just left him. Simon is standing on the doorstep in floods of tears. While the women do their best to console him, their husbands feel the need to mark their territory. And as Simon becomes more involved with the group, his presence changes everything these three couples thought they knew about each other, leading to a final dinner party that no-one will ever forget. From best seller Tracy Bloom, Dinner Party is a funny and moving listen that will make you see your marriage and friendships in a whole new light...and make you think twice about inviting your best mates round for dinner. Perfect for fans of Marian Keyes, Nick Spalding and Gill Sims.
©2018 Tracy Bloom (P)2019 W. F. Howes Ltd
A beautiful story of intergenerational friendship and self-discovery, W.O Mitchells The Kite comes to life in this new, abridged audio edition read by the author himself. Veteran reporter David Lang reluctantly arrives on assignment to the small prairie town of Shelby, Alberta, to write a piece on the 111st birthday of Daddy Sherry, the towns oldest resident. Uptight, jaded, and eager to return to Toronto, David plans to file a simple story and leave Shelby as quickly as possible - but Davids plan is thwarted when the curmudgeonly, elusive Daddy Sherry sends him on a wild goose chase that leads David to an entirely different story than he first expected - as well as his own journey to happiness and self-acceptance. W.O Mitchells acclaimed novel is a funny, poignant look at leaving the past behind and embracing our future, no matter how old we are.
©1983, 2005 W. O. Mitchell (P)2019 McClelland & Stewart
William Harper has it all: Looks, money, power. Theres just one tiny problem - hes about to be deported. He needs a green card. Fast. An American wife is the easiest way to get one. But where will he find a woman to marry him on such short notice? Elizabeth Barrett is a full-time student, part-time dog walker, and weekend tutor. With a roommate who just ran out on her and neck deep in tuition payments, she needs money. Now. Harper just might make her an offer she cant refuse. He thinks hes worked out the perfect deal, she thinks shes signed up for an easy job. Neither of them bargained for the ride of their lives.
©2017 Elizabeth Adams (P)2020 Elizabeth Adams
Take a wonderfully crazed excursion into the demented heart of a tropical paradise - a world of cargo cults, cannibals, mad scientists, ninjas, and talking fruit bats. Our bumbling hero is Tucker Case, a hopeless geek trapped in a cool guy's body, who makes a living as a pilot for the Mary Jean Cosmetics Corporation. But when he demolishes his boss's pink plane during a drunken airborne liaison, Tuck must run for his life from Mary Jean's goons. Now there's only one employment opportunity left for him: piloting shady secret missions for an unscrupulous medical missionary and a sexy blond high priestess on the remotest of Micronesian hells. Here is a brazen, ingenious, irreverent, and wickedly funny novel from a modern master of the outrageous.
©1997 Christopher Moore (P)2009 HarperCollins Publishers
King Boric the Implacable knows death comes to all great warriors. He just didn't expect it to be so damn fickle. Felled by an assassin's blade, he should be spending eternity carousing in the Hall of Avandoor. Instead, his spirit is bound to his decaying body by the enchanted sword of Brakslaagt. And unless he can hunt down the mysterious Lord Brand, who gave him the weapon so long ago, he is cursed to wander the earth forever as an undead wraith. So begins Boric's extraordinary journey across the Six Kingdoms of Dis as a walking corpse who wants nothing more than to be disenchanted and left in peace. His is not an easy quest: along the way he is burned, riddled with arrows, and nearly blown to bits. But when he finally comes face-to-face with Lord Brand, Boric will discover that nothing - in life, in death, or in between - is exactly what it seems.
©2012 Robert Kroese (P)2013 Brilliance Audio, all rights reserved.
An electrifying debut from the Giller Prize-shortlisted author of Better Living Through Plastic Explosives that takes listeners for a wild ride with urban-Gothic flair and delectably wicked humor. Lucy is a lapsed Catholic whose adolescent pretentions to sainthood are unexpectedly revived. It all starts when her cousin Zoltan, in hospital following a bizarre incident at a party, offers her a disturbing deathbed confession. Lucy's grief takes an unusual turn: Zoltan's death appears to have turned her into a magnet for the unshriven. Lucy is transformed into a self-described "flesh-and-blood Wailing Wall" as strangers unburden themselves to her. She becomes addicted to the dark stories and finds herself jonesing for hit after hit. As the confessions pile up, Lucy begins to wonder if Zoltan's death was as random and unscripted as it appeared. She clutches at alarming synchronicities, seeks meaning in the stories of strangers. Why do the stories seem connected to each other or eerily echo elements of her life? Could it be because Lucy has her own transgressions to acknowledge? And then there is that stubbornly resurfacing past, like a tell-tale ribbon of hair snagged on a fish hook. With ruthless wit and dizzying energy, The Beguiling explores blessings and curses, sainthood and sin, mortality and guilt in all its guises. Weaving together tales of errant mothers, vengeful plants, canine wisdom, and murder, it lays bare the flesh and blood sacrifices people are willing to make to get what they think they desire.
©2020 Zsuzsi Gartner (P)2020 Penguin Random House Canada
Bounty hunters. Ninjas. Anthropomorphic musk oxen from the moons of Gartosh. Welcome to the gut-busting universe of Duke LaGrange! When bounty hunter Duke LaGrange and his oft-inebriated Japanese-Irish ninja companion, Ishiroshea, entered their favorite watering hole, Cyborg Joes Grill N Go & The Why Not Saloon, they had no idea that they would soon be gobbled up by an unhinged astral anomaly and deposited on an uncharted primitive world. Few things are worse than undeveloped planets, especially those that havent even made it to the soufflé stage. To top it off, this particular planet comes with its own insane ruler and an Orb That Controls Everything and Must Be Respected. The bounty hunting duo will need to navigate a violent rebellion, flying fire-breathing panthers, and mutated swamp cannibals in order to avoid being stranded light years from the nearest well-made martini. How to Pick Up Women with a Drunk Space Ninja is the first book in The Adventures of Duke LaGrange, a series of hilarious sci-fi adventure romps from the creative mind of Jay Key. You are sure to fall in love with Keys menagerie of colorful characters and laugh-out-loud storytelling talents.
©2018, 2019 Jay Key (P)2019 Jay Key
Fans of Maria Semple's Where'd You Go Bernadette and and Celeste Ng's Everything I Never Told You will delight in Annie Hartnett's debut, Rabbit Cake, a darkly comic novel about a young girl named Elvis trying to figure out her place in a world without her mother. Twelve-year-old Elvis Babbitt has a head for the facts: she knows science proves yellow is the happiest color, she knows a healthy male giraffe weighs about 3,000 pounds, and she knows that the naked mole rat is the longest living rodent. She knows she should plan to grieve her mother, who has recently drowned while sleepwalking, for exactly 18 months. But there are things Elvis doesn't yet know - like how to keep her sister Lizzie from poisoning herself while sleep-eating or why her father has started wearing her mother's silk bathrobe around the house. Elvis investigates the strange circumstances of her mother's death and finds comfort, if not answers, in the people (and animals) of Freedom, Alabama. As hilarious a storyteller as she is heartbreakingly honest, Elvis is a truly original voice in this exploration of grief, family, and the endurance of humor after loss.
©2017 Annie Hartnett (P)2017 Blackstone Audio, Inc.
Features the author in converstation with his editor, Dan Franklin.
Michael Beard is a Nobel prize-winning physicist whose best work is behind him. Trading on his reputation, he speaks for enormous fees, lends his name to the letterheads of renowned scientific institutions and half-heartedly heads a government-backed initiative tackling global warming.
A compulsive womaniser, Beard finds his fifth marriage floundering. But this time it is different: she is having the affair, and he is still in love with her. When Beards professional and personal worlds collide in a freak accident, an opportunity presents itself for him to extricate himself from his marital mess, reinvigorate his career, and save the world from environmental disaster.
Ranging from the Arctic Circle to the deserts of New Mexico, Solar is a serious and darkly satirical novel, showing human frailty struggling with the most pressing and complex problem of our time. A story of one mans greed and self-deception, it is a profound and stylish new work from one of the worlds great writers.
©2010 Ian McEwan (P)2010 Random House Audiobooks
A wildly imaginative novel about a man who is reincarnated over 10,000 lifetimes to be with his one true love: Death herself. First we live. Then we die. And then...we get another try? Ten thousand tries, to be exact. Ten thousand lives to "get it right". Answer all the big questions. Achieve wisdom. And become one with everything. Milo has had 9,995 chances so far and has just five more lives to earn a place in the cosmic soul. If he doesn't make the cut, oblivion awaits. But all Milo really wants is to fall forever into the arms of Death. Or Suzie, as he calls her. More than just Milo's lover throughout his countless layovers in the Afterlife, Suzie is literally his reason for living - as he dives into one new existence after another, praying for the day he'll never have to leave her side again. But Reincarnation Blues is more than a great love story: Every journey from cradle to grave offers Milo more pieces of the great cosmic puzzle - if only he can piece them together in time to finally understand what it means to be part of something bigger than infinity. As darkly enchanting as the works of Neil Gaiman and as wisely hilarious as Kurt Vonnegut's, Michael Poore's Reincarnation Blues is the story of everything that makes life profound, beautiful, absurd, and heartbreaking. Because it's more than Milo and Suzie's story. It's your story, too.
©2017 Michael Poore (P)2017 Random House Audio
No one thought that MacTrump - Lord of MacTrump Towers, Son of New York - would ascend to the highest position in the kingdom. Yet with the help of his unhappy but dutiful wife Lady MacTrump, his clever daughter Dame Desdivanka, and his coterie of advisers, MacTrump is comfortably ensconced in the White Hold as President of the United Fiefdoms, free to make proclamations to his subjects through his favorite messenger, McTweet. The Democrati, mourning the loss of their cherished leader O'Bama, won't give up without a fight. They still remember the disastrous reign of George the Lesser, and they can see Putain's dark influence on MacTrump. Their greatest hope is MacMueller, tasked with investigating the plot that empowered MacTrump's rise to the throne. As Desdivanka schemes to overthrow her father's councilors, and as Donnison and Ericson-trapped in their own Rosencrantz and Guildenstern-like storyline-prove useless to their father, MacTrump soon realizes he has no true allies. Will he be able to hold on to his throne? Only time will tell in this tragicomic tale of ambition, greed, and royal ineptitude.
©2019 Ian Doescher and Jacopo della Quercia (P)2019 HighBridge, a division of Recorded Books
They call him the Anaconda, and I'm pretty sure it isn't because he likes snakes. Nick Jenson is my neighbor. My hot, oh-so-sexy, very-well-equipped neighbor that I'd spend hours watching from the safety of my bedroom window. I saw lots of things I probably shouldn't have. Sometimes I'd touch myself, imagining it were his hands roaming over my body instead of my own. I had just one mission - to find out if the rumors were true. Then one day, he caught me watching him. I was mortified. I was prepared to quit college, move to another country, and live the rest of my life saying, "Nick who?" But, apparently, life had other ideas. Because Nick? Well, he isn't just my neighbor... He's also my father's best friend. If I thought things were difficult before, they were about to get a whole lot more complicated. Oh, and those rumors? Holy fuck, were they true... Contains mature themes.
©2017 Missy Johnson (P)2018 Tantor
Mrs Tim goes to the Highlands of Scotland and is involved in a plot to rescue a naval officer from the toils of a siren; but, alas, the best laid plans "gang aft agley". The characters are skilfully drawn, from the fierce Mrs London, with her heart of gold, to the garrulous Mrs Falconer, whose muddled stories of her girlhood make excruciatingly funny reading. The house party amuses itself with picnics and fishing excursions and is suitably thrilled by the flourishing ancestral feud of two rival clans, which has its origin in the dim past.
©1934 D. E. Stevenson (P)2009 Soundings
When Palmer Stoat notices the black pickup truck following him on the highway, he fears his precious Range Rover is about to be carjacked. But Twilly Spree, the man tailing Stoat, has vengeance, not sport-utility vehicles, on his mind. Idealistic, independently wealthy, and pathologically short-tempered, Twilly has dedicated himself to saving Florida's wilderness from runaway destruction. He favors unambiguous political statements - such as torching Jet-Skis or blowing up banks - that leave his human targets shaken but re-educated. After watching Stoat blithely dump a trail of fast-food litter out the window, Twilly decides to teach him a lesson. Thus, Stoat's prized Range Rover becomes home to a horde of hungry dung beetles. Which could have been the end to it had Twilly not discovered that Stoat is one of Florida's cockiest and most powerful political fixers, whose latest project is the "malling" of a pristine Gulf Coast island. Now the real Hiaasen-variety fun begins.... Dognapping eco-terrorists, bogus big-time hunters, a Republicans-only hooker, an infamous ex-governor who's gone back to nature, thousands of singing toads and a Labrador retriever greater than the sum of his Labrador parts - these are only some of the denizens of Carl Hiaasen's outrageously funny new novel. Brilliantly twisted entertainment wrapped around a powerful ecological plea, Sick Puppy gleefully lives up to its title and gives us Hiaasen at his riotous and muckraking best.
©2000 Carl Hiaasen (P)2013 Random House Audio
The Pan of Hamgee is not a natural knight in shining armor. Yet he has escaped from police custody in KBarth, switched realities and foiled Lord Vernons attempt to kidnap Ruth, the Chosen One, from the Festival Hall. Pretty good, he thinks. However, Ruth thinks otherwise. Being pursued by Lord Vernon is bad enough. Now, thanks to The Pan, shes on the run. They are both alive, of course, but with Lord Vernon on their tail neither of them can be sure how long for. To save K'Barth and Ruth, the woman of his dreams, The Pan must introduce her to the Candidate, who is prophesied to be the man of her dreams. And he must do it fast - before Lord Vernon finds her. But the gentleman in question is in hiding and no one knows where. Only The Pan can find him, if he can bring himself to unite them. A word with the author Q - What made you write the K'Barthan Series? Why is it special? A - You know the saying: that if the book you want doesn't exist you have to write it? That. I love funny British authors, comedic sci fi, epic fantasy, adventure, action, humour - or humor. Misfit characters are great, the weirder the better and an evil baddie. I like genre fiction mashups: Star Wars with alien races, flying cars, car chases, static powered laser guns. Dr. Who meets Terry Pratchett and James Bond. K'Barth is kind of first contact, only not. There are many quirky characters, from 6-foot Swamp Things with antennae to cute furry Blurpons with fluffy ears, big button eyes and penchant for extreme violence. But the eternal questions they face mirror ours. Q - What are the other books in K'Barthan Series? A - This is the second book in the series. If you haven't listened to the first, Few Are Chosen, K'Barthan Series: Part 1 it's best to start there. The others are: One Man: No Plan, K'Barthan Series: Part 3, Looking for Trouble, K'Barthan Series: Part 4. There's also a 30 min prequel which is free if you join my mailing list: www.hamgee.co.uk/audioud.html
©2012 Mary Thérèse Fancourt McGuire (P)2020 Mary Thérèse Fancourt McGuire
When Jamie meets Luke, Luke is bowled over by the beauty with the emerald green eyes and auburn hair, but is instantly tongue-tied. Jamie is not sure how they're going to develop a relationship when he can barely talk to her, but she sets out to seduce the handsome man with the soulful brown eyes. A game of cat and mouse ensues and Jamie finds out that marrying Luke is easy, but capturing his heart is going to be harder than she anticipates.
©2014 Beldene Publishing (P)2016 Beldene Publishing
Jack Tate is hopeless.... Everything he touches turns into a disaster, but he means well. His business is even less successful than his love life. His once-thriving coffee shop was on the brink of bankruptcy, but salvation could be right under his nose. At the insistence of his loyal and underappreciated assistant, Emma, he sees that the last hope of saving his business could be the only customers whove not deserted him for the faceless coffee chains - the old folk. To attract new customers, Jack and Emma set up the Isle of Mans first dating and social club for the elderly - The Lonely Heart Attack Club. Eager to give his elderly congregation a sense of purpose, he sets them a challenge that may be one step too far: to become World Record holders. They may be old but there is plenty of life left in them, and Jack soon realises that they're not just customers; theyve become friends. Could his unintended compassion to his wrinkly client base also be the catalyst for romance?
©2017 J. C. Williams (P)2018 W. F. Howes Ltd
A very modern vampire, Betsy Taylor is facing some formidible challenges. She is getting ready to negotiate her way through a highly political meeting with powerful European vampires. She just found out her best friend, Jessica, may have a fatal illness. And her fiance, Eric, continues to evade every wedding plan. What to do? Put on high heels, hug her friend, and splash on something special for Eric, of course. MaryJanice Davidson is a New York Times and USA Today best-selling author. Her Undead books are extremely popular paranormal romances.
©2006 MaryJanice Davidson (P)2006 Recorded Books
When writer Paul Stewart heads to the idyllic Italian town of Montalcino to finish his already late book, it seems like the perfect escape from stressful city life. Upon landing, however, things quickly take a turn for the worse when he discovers his hired car is nowhere to be found. With no record of any reservation and no other cars available, it looks like Paul is stuck at the airport. That is, until an enterprising stranger offers him an unexpected alternative. While there may be no cars available, there is something else on offer: a bulldozer. With little choice in the matter, Paul accepts, and so begins a series of laugh-out-loud adventures through the Italian countryside, following in the wake of Paul and his Italian bulldozer. A story of unexpected circumstance and a lesson in making the best of what you have, My Italian Bulldozer is a warm holiday listen guaranteed to put a smile on your face.
©2016 Alexander McCall Smith (P)2016 Bolinda Audio
A hilarious, fast-paced space adventure from the author the Independent calls "the new Terry Pratchett". Cal Carver is having a bad day. Imprisoned and forced to share a cell with a cannibalistic serial killer, Cal thinks things can't possibly get any worse. He is wrong. It's not until two-thirds of the human race is wiped out and Cal is abducted by aliens that his day really starts to go downhill. Whisked across the galaxy, Cal is thrown into a team of some of the sector's most notorious villains and scumbags. Their mission should be simple enough, but as one screw-up leads to another, they find themselves in a frantic battle to save an entire alien civilization - and its god - from total annihilation.
©2016 Barry Hutchison (P)2016 Barry Hutchison
Le Vieux n'est toujours pas près de sucrer les fraises ! Bali, une plage de rêve, un resort paradisiaque. Aux côtés de Julius, son partenaire dans le crime, Allan Karlsson devrait pouvoir enfin souffler. Mais il n'a pas tenu en place les cent premières années de sa vie, ce n'est pas maintenant qu'il va changer ! Pour distraire Allan et fêter ses 101 ans, Julius lui offre une virée en montgolfière qui vire à la catastrophe. Suite à une avarie, le ballon sombre dans l'océan. Heureusement, les deux naufragés sont recueillis par un navire militaire. Les voilà sains et saufs... À moins que... l'embarcation batte pavillon nord-coréen et transporte une dose d'uranium de contrebande prélevée au Congo ? Voilà notre centenaire coincé dans la dictature de Kim Jong-un au moment celui-ci menace Donald Trump avec de nouveaux missiles ! De quoi donner des idées à notre vieil artificier. Les ennuis ne font que commencer...
©2018 Jonas Jonasson / Titre original : Hundraåringen som fyllde hundraett och försvann. L'édition originale de cet ouvrage a paru chez Pirat Förlaget, Suède / Presses de la Cité, un département de Place des Éditeurs pour la traduction française. Traduit par Laurence Mennerich (P)2018 Lizzie, un département d'Univers Poche
Leonard and Hungry Paul is the story of two friends who ordinarily would remain uncelebrated. It finds a value and specialness in them that is not immediately apparent and prompts the idea that maybe we could learn from the people that we overlook in life. Leonard and Hungry Paul change the world differently to the rest of us: we try to change it by effort and force; they change it by discovering the small things they can do well and offering them to others.
©2019 Ronan Hession (P)2019 Audible, Ltd
This is a collection of the sixth six short stories in the Caverns and Creatures series. It includes the following titles: Pain in the Aasimar Cocky LitRPG Taint Team Rusty Mom Bone The Wang is the Hardest Part Cross My Fart and Hope to Die
©2018 Robert Bevan (P)2019 Robert Bevan
Lucia's the strongest person in the world, and she's perfectly content with living out the remainder of her life gorging herself on acorn stew and hot chocolate. Unfortunately for her, her sadistic sword spirit, Durandal, has different plans. The is the sequel to The Godking's Legacy. Content Warning: Sexual themes. Profanity. Gore.
©2018 Jason Liu (P)2018 Jason Liu
Sarah Wright woke up a few times after parties in strange places - but the morgue's a first. At 18, she's eager for a taste of independence, moving out of state to attend college. A change of scenery is extra-needed due to a bad breakup with her boyfriend, Scott. However, soon after escaping the body cooler, she makes two startling realizations: vampires are real and she is one. There's nothing quite like an untimely death to ruin plans. California's sunny beaches aren't the best place for vampires to chill, and worse, not only does she wind up stuck in Seattle, she's still living (figuratively) with her parents. They take the news surprisingly well - after all, it's better than burying her - even helping move her bedroom to the basement. A disinterested sire, distraught friends, nosy Men in Black, and awestruck younger siblings complicate her adjustment to the new normal of being an immortal still subject to her parents' rules. Being undead has its perks, but it also brings enemies. Without a copy of Fangs for Dummies, Sarah's left scrambling for answers when one such new enemy attacks her siblings and friends. If she can't figure out how to vampire, her attempt to spare her family the grief of losing her may wind up killing them.
©2017 Matthew S. Cox (P)2018 Matthew S. Cox
Roland Merullo's playful, eloquent, and life-affirming novel finds the Pope and the Dalai Lama teaming up for an unsanctioned road trip through the Italian countryside to rediscover the everyday joys of life that can seem, even for the two holiest men in the world, unattainable. What happens when the Pope and the Dalai Lama decide they need an undercover vacation? During a highly publicized official visit at the Vatican, the Pope suggests an adventure so unexpected and appealing that neither man can resist. Before dawn, two of the most beloved and famous people on the planet don disguises, slip into a waiting car, and experience the countryside as regular people. Along for the ride are the Pope's overwhelmed cousin Paolo and his estranged wife, Rosa, an eccentric hairdresser with a lust for life who cannot resist the call to adventure - or the fun. Against a landscape of good humor, exploration and spiritual delight, not to mention the sublime rolling hills of Italy, The Delight of Being Ordinary showcases the charming sensibilities of Roland Merullo (whose best-selling Breakfast with Buddha has sold over 200,000 copies) in a novel that makes us laugh as well as think about the demands of ordinary life, spiritual life, and the identities by which we all define ourselves.
©2017 Roland Merullo (P)2017 Random House Audio
An Irish Country Doctor from best-selling author Patick Taylor is a charming and engrossing tale that will captivate listeners from the very first moment - and leave them yearning to visit the Irish countryside of days gone by. Barry Laverty, MB, can barely find the village of Ballybucklebo on a map when he first sets out to seek gainful employment there, but already he knows that there is nowhere he would rather live than in the emerald hills and dales of Northern Ireland. The proud owner of a spanking-new medical degree and little else in the way of worldly possessions, Barry jumps at the chance to secure a position as an assistant in a small rural practice. At least until he meets Dr. Fingal Flahertie O'Reilly. The older physician, whose motto is to never let the patients get the upper hand, has his own way of doing things. At first, Barry can't decide if the pugnacious O'Reilly is the biggest charlatan he has ever met, or the best teacher he could ever hope for. Through O'Reilly, Barry soon gets to know all of the village's colorful and endearing residents, including a malingering Major and his equally hypochondriacal wife; an unwed servant girl, who refuses to divulge the father of her upcoming baby; a slightly daft old couple unable to marry for lack of a roof; and a host of other eccentric characters who make every day an education for the inexperienced young doctor. Ballybucklebo is long way from Belfast, and Barry is quick to discover that he still has a lot to learn about the quirks and traditions of country life. But with pluck and compassion and only the slightest touch of blarney, he will find out more about life - and love - than he ever imagined back in medical school.
©2004, 2007 Patrick Taylor (P)2009 Macmillan Audio
Book three in the LitRPG the series The Realms. What the Hell Happened to Lex? All Lex wanted was to help his good buddy Gryph find his sister and maybe save the world along the way. But everything goes wrong from the start when Lex gets separated from Gryph during their transfer into the Realms. Lost, alone, and forced to live the same day over and over, Lex must defeat the agent of a despotic god, uncover hidden truths about himself, and find his way back to his friend. If he fails the Realms face destruction. Killing Time is the sequel to the best sellers Barrow King and The Lost City. It is a tale of adventure, mayhem, and loyalty, filled with crazy action, way too much stupidity, and tons of laughs. Buy now and start this humorously epic RPG GameLit fantasy romp now! Warning: Welcome to your new favorite genre. LitRPG/GameLit is genre that incorporates gaming elements from tabletop roleplaying games like Dungeons and Dragons and Pathfinder with epic RPG video games like The Elder Scrolls: Skyrim and MMOs like World of Warcraft and sets them in a fantasy or science fiction setting. It generally has leveling, stat tables, character sheets, and skill progressions. If youre new to LitRPG or GameLit, then The Realms is the perfect place to start. Prepare to lose sleep. You have been warned. The Realms - An Epic LitRPG/GameLit Fantasy Series. Suggested Listening Order Barrow King The Lost City Killing Time Dead Must Die (A Side Quest) Scourge of Souls The Forsaken God Chaos Rising The Ravaged Land
©2018 C.M. Carney (P)2019 C.M. Carney
Grace Kelley isn't blond or demure, and she definitely isn't a princess. At the moment 15 dollars and a single peppermint stand between her and starvation. When she meets a teenaged girl in trouble, Grace's life takes a turn for the better. She goes from a homeless singer to a nanny in no time flat. Professionally, Chord Robbins has the world at his feet. As the coach of the Super Bowl-winning NFL team, the Austin Lone Stars, there is nothing he can't do. But his homelife is hell. He has three kids and no discipline, and his wife left him for her yoga instructor. When Grace stumbles into his life, he promptly throws her out. But she won't stay away. Since he can't get rid of her, he hires her. When these two get together, it proves that all is fair in love and football
and losing is just the beginning.
©2014 Katie Graykowski (P)2015 Katie Graykowski
Daisy et Marc, réincarnés en fourmis, doivent gravir le plus vite possible les échelons de la réincarnation afin de retrouver leur forme humaine s'ils veulent empêcher le mariage entre le meilleur ami de Daisy et l'ex-femme de Marc. Le problème est qu'ils ont de très mauvais caractères.
>> Ce livre audio en version intégrale vous est proposé en exclusivité par Audible et est uniquement disponible en téléchargement.
©2016 Place des Éditeurs (P)2016 Audible Studios
Perhaps best known for his No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency series, #1 New York Times best-selling author Alexander McCall Smith delights fans around the world with his warmhearted 44 Scotland Street novels. In the series sixth entry, the residents of 44 Scotland Street grapple with problems both trivial and severe, but none so great as when six-year-old Bertie Pollock - who longs to be seven - mislays his mum and learns a valuable lesson about wish fulfillment.
©2010 Alexander McCall Smith (P)2012 Recorded Books
Fifteen years after losing most of his family to a devastating, pudding-related tragedy, Simon Debovar has settled into a life of self-imposed exile from the stinking, selfish morass of humanity. Content that his daily highlights will include hazelnut coffee, a long bath, and the occasional jar of olives, his life is completely upturned by the discovery that his ornate living room carpet is the deciding factor in a bet between God and Satan. When mysteriously well-timed carpet thieves deprive him of the crucial heirloom, Simon is forced to leave his hermit's existence behind for a world of angels, demons, witches, and immortals. And then it gets complicated.
©2015 Justin Lee Anderson (P)2017 Tantor
A rock star kidnaps a runaway bride.... Kidnapping the bride seemed like a good idea at the time. Her fiancé stole my fortune, so I stole his woman. Tit for tat. Or tat for tit. However you want to look at it. The one thing I didnt expect? Willow Honeycutt, preschool teacher, boy band super fan, is completely crazy. And somehow shes turned the tables on me. Now, shes holding me hostage, and she wont let me go until we hit every item on her sparkly new, completely insane bucket list. And that last item? That last item might cost me more than any fortune. It very well might cost me my heart. Rockaway Bride is a romping fun romance between a down-on-his-luck rock star and a boy band-loving preschool teacher, complete with a road trip, handcuffs, and fun with nuns. This romantic comedy stands alone with no cheating or cliffhangers and ends with a rockin' awesome happily ever after.
©2018 Pippa Grant (P)2019 Pippa Grant
A pun-filled tale featuring Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice characters with some added or addled, missing or missish, modified or mortified, healthier, wealthier, or wiser. Impeccable comportment is mandatory in Regency England, a society governed by strict rules of conduct. The immaculate image of perfectionist Fitzwilliam Darcy is somewhat tarnished when he and his traveling companions arrive, hot and sweaty, at Pemberley and decide to take a fateful plunge into a scummy pond. An embarrassing encounter on the estate's lawn leaves a long-lasting impression on Jane and Elizabeth Bennet, who are new acquaintances of Georgiana and Anna Darcy. With both families in London for the Little Season, Darcy finds himself thrown again into the path of perky Elizabeth Bennet, but a handsome army officer just might blockade further advances. This romantic comedy is a lighthearted adaptation of Austen's Pride and Prejudice, featuring a softer, sweeter, sillier side of Austen's beloved characters.
©2010 J. Marie Croft / Rhemalda Publishing (P)2013 J. Marie Croft / Rhemalda Publishing
The Wig, the Bitch & the Meltdown is a satirical look behind the scenes of Model Muse, a fictional reality model competition show and global phenomenon. Seen through the eyes of our moral compass Pablo Michaels - the heart of production in the helter-skelter world of Model Muse - we see behind the scenes and backstage shenanigans of the fashion/reality TV world. As "The Fixer", Pablo is the man everyone turns to in crisis. Struggling to hold the fledgling production together, he juggles his duties to his "BFF", the ruthless and vulnerable antihero Keisha Kash, his supermodel boss, while trying to hold on to his own soul. When the show is renewed after its sensational first season, this satire takes up where The Devil Wears Prada left us, only now we're on the runway itself. Think Crazy Rich Asians meets Ladies Who Punch and a dish of Dulce de Leche.
©2020 Jay Manuel (P)2021 HighBridge, a division of Recorded Books
Rejoice! A new messiah has come, and her name is Julie. Born to Murray Katz, the solitary (and celibate) keeper of an abandoned lighthouse on the Jersey shore, our protagonist arrives on Earth boasting supernatural abilities evocative of her divine half-brother, Jesus. As a child, she revels in her talent for walking on water, resurrecting dead crabs, and treating fireflies as luminous alphabet blocks. But after she reaches adolescence, her life becomes