Cover art for Parsnips, Buttered

Parsnips, Buttered

13 ratings

Summary

Funny and brilliant, listen as British comedian Joe Lycett narrates his own witty, tongue-in-cheek guide to modern life. A dynamic stage performer, Lycett brings his hilarious debut audiobook to life with his unique brand of laugh-out-loud anecdotes and musings. In this book I have attempted to solve each and every one of life's problems. And I have succeeded. Dear Listener, Using letters, emails, tweets and telegrams I will show you how the things in your life that make you sad, low or anxious can soon appear trivial, insignificant and like a fish. In short, I will butter your parsnips. Life is hard. We are a bombarded generation: Facebook, billboards, Twitter, Instagram, taxes, newspapers, watches monitoring our sleep, apps that read our pulse, terrorism. There's such an onslaught to the senses these days it's a marvel any of us manage to get out of bed. I love bed. While we are overwhelmed and confused by the miasmic cloud of information, there are those that seek to take advantage: there are parking fines, hate tweets, Nigerian email scams and Christmas newsletters from old school friends about their ugly kids. And just as we're getting round to doing something about it, we're distracted again. I, Joe Lycett, comedian, wordsmith, and professional complainer, am here to help. During my short life of doing largely nothing I've discovered solutions to many of life's problems, which I impart to you, dear Listener. Containing a centurion of complaint letters to unsuspecting celebrities, companies and anyone brave enough to clog up my phone, as well as illustrations, one-liners, jokes and life hacks, this little gem offers you a collection of tips and advice* for all manner of modern woe. By the time you have finished listening to this book you will have learnt how to: Reverse a parking fine Manipulate the tabloid press Navigate social media Respond to hate mail Out-weird Internet trolls Contest a so-called ripe avocado Send the perfect Christmas newsletter Defeat ISIS Take down multinational companies AND MUCH, MUCH MORE! Joe Lycett x * If you are looking for guidance with taxes, quitting smoking, moving house, love, divorce, education, health care or anything actually important may I recommend speaking to friends or family members and not consulting a book by a comedian who eats halloumi at least twice a day.

©2016 Joe Lycett (P)2016 Hodder & Stoughton

Narrator: Joe Lycett
Author: Joe Lycett
Length: 3 hrs and 43 mins
Available on Audible
Cover art for Joe Lycett

Joe Lycett

2 ratings

Summary

Maddie Hickish chats to the comedian Joe Lycett in the Audible Studios. His debut book Parsnips Buttered, successfully solves all of modern life’s problems.

©2016 Audible Ltd. (P)2016 Audible Ltd.

Available on Audible
Cover art for Joe Lycett's Obsessions

Joe Lycett's Obsessions

1 rating

Summary

Joe Lycett explores the nation's weird and wonderful obsessions by getting to know a selection of famous and not so famous guests.  Hear Katherine Ryan share her love of the Kardashians, Greg James introduce Joe to the world of cricket and Janice Connolly share her collection of decluttering books. Can Lloyd Griffith inspire you with his adoration of fire engines? Or will June Sarpong get you into Hula-Hooping? Guests include comedian Katherine Ryan, Radio 1 DJ Greg James, comedian Janice Connolly, broadcasting legend Nick Owen, comedian Angela Barnes, author and performer Adam Kay, comedian Lloyd Griffith and broadcaster June Sarpong. Joe also welcomes members of the public to share their secret passions as well as inviting a weekly VOP (very obsessed person) to introduce their weird and wonderful collections of curiosities (not for the faint-hearted)!  Written and performed by Joe Lycett, with material from James Kettle and additional material from Laura Major and Mike Shepherd.  Produced by Suzy Grant. Production coordinator: Hayley Sterling. A BBC Studios production.

©2018 Joe Lycett (P)2018 BBC Digital Audio

Narrator: Joe Lycett
Author: Joe Lycett
Length: 1 hr and 50 mins
Available on Audible
Cover art for Joe Lycett's Obsessions, Series 2

Joe Lycett's Obsessions, Series 2

Summary

Joe Lycett returns for a second series of Obsessions, the comedy chat show that celebrates our weird hobbies and eccentric passions. Featuring an exciting array of obsessive celebrity guests and members of the public, Joe uncovers what really makes the great British public tick.  Listen to Holly Walsh's obsession with badgers, Clara Amfo's adoration of trainers, and Mary Berry's love of her dog Darcy. Can Nina Wadia spark an interest in driving holidays? Can Chelsea Norris get you into boxing? And what of Carol Kirkwood's obsession with a cat called Donald?  Guests in this series include Radio 1 DJ Clara Amfo, actress Nina Wadia, BBC Manchester presenter Chelsea Norris, comedians Elis James, Jack Carroll and Holly Walsh, plus national treasure Mary Berry.  Joe also welcomes members of the public to share their secret passions as well as inviting a weekly VOP (very obsessed person) to introduce their weird and wonderful collections of curiosities!  Written and performed by Joe Lycett, with material from James Kettle and additional material from Catherine Brinkworth and Kat Sadler.  Producer: Suzy Grant  Production coordinator: Damilola Mabadeje A BBC Studios Audio production.

©2020 BBC Studios Distribution Ltd (P)2020 BBC Studios Distribution Ltd

Author: Joe Lycett
Length: 1 hr and 50 mins
Available on Audible
Cover art for Comic Fringes: Series 1-3

Comic Fringes: Series 1-3

Summary

Nine short stories written and read by comedians, recorded live in front of an audience at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe. 'May Contain Nuts' by Janey Godley: a woman glimpses her own mortality when she calculates that only 27 years separate her from her cantankerous father.  'The Hair of the Dead' by Sarah Millican: a moving (and very funny) short story about a compassionate undertaker's assistant.  'Gone Fishing' by Jon Richardson: a tale of love and betrayal set in a remote village in the Yorkshire Dales. 'The Woman Who Sniffed' by Susan Calman: a wry look at office politics, told with Calman’s characteristic humour and upbeat energy. 'Just When You Thought It Was Safe to Be Green' by Patrick Monahan: a tale that warns against paying too much attention to government crime statistics.  'On the Dot' by Shazia Mirza: a story featuring a certain Mrs Pims, who is always mysteriously late for everything. Then one day, the reason for her tardiness becomes apparent.... 'Stairlift Us Up Where We Belong' by Sarah Millican: a poignant and funny monologue exploring the tricky turning point in a woman's life, when she goes from being thought of as useful to becoming invisible.  'Spooky and the Van' by Joe Lycett: 17-year-old Julian is writing a blog. He's currently experiencing the weird limbo that lies between finishing school and starting university. As well as musing upon how his life might change, Julian's neighbor, nicknamed Spooky, is providing plenty of writing material and mystery....  'A Difference of Opinion' by Bridget Christie: When Bridget's husband is assaulted by the ghost of a long dead European leader, it highlights the vast differences in interpretation between a believer and an atheist.  Produced by Kirsteen Cameron.

©2018 BBC Worldwide Ltd (P)2018 BBC Worldwide Ltd

Available on Audible