Laurie Notaro has 8 audiobooks on Listento.it, narrated by 3 narrators, with an average listener rating of 3★ across 1 ratings. The most-rated is Housebroken.
Housebroken
Summary
Number-one New York Times best-selling author Laurie Notaro isn't exactly a domestic goddess - unless that means she fully embraces her genetic hoarding predisposition, sneaks peeks at her husband's daily journal, or has made a list of the people she wants on her Apocalypse Survival team (her husband's not on it). Notaro chronicles her chronic misfortune in the domestic arts, including cooking, cleaning, and putting on Spanx while sweaty (which should technically qualify as an Olympic sport). Housebroken is a rollicking new collection of essays showcasing her irreverent wit and inability to feel shame from defying nature in the quest to make her own Twinkies, to begging her new neighbors not to become urban livestock keepers, to teaching her eight-year-old nephew about hobos.
©2016 Laurie Notaro (P)2016 Dreamscape Media, LLC
I Love Everybody (and Other Atrocious Lies)
Summary
Laurie Notaro is married, mortgaged, and now - miraculously - employed in the corporate world, discovering that bosses come in all shapes, sizes, and degrees of mental stability. After maxing out her last good credit card at Banana Republic, she's dressed for success and ready to face the jungle: surviving feral, six-foot-plus Gretchen ("The Three Thousand Faces of Eve") before battling the overbearing, overstuffed (in way-too-small pants) new mom Suzi, who ruthlessly cancels Laurie's newspaper column and learns that payback can be a bitch. Laurie also explores the backstabbing world of preschoolers at a Halloween party, the X-rated madness of a family trip to Disneyland, and the pressure from her QVC-addicted mother and the rest of the world to reproduce. But while losing more friends to babies than to booze, she realizes there's a plus side: for at least a couple of months, she gets to be the thinner friend. I Love Everybody (and Other Atrocious Lies) is Notaro at her deliciously quirky best. Can a woman prone to what her loved ones might term "meltdowns" (she considers them "Opportunities to Enlighten") put a smile on her face and love everybody? Take a guess.
©2004 Laurie Notaro (P)2011 Tantor
Crossing the Horizon
Summary
Ten thousand feet in the sky, aviatrixes from London to Paris to New York - fueled by determination and courage - have their eyes on the century's biggest prize. The year is 1927, and Amelia Earhart has not yet made her record-breaking cross-Atlantic flight. Who will follow in Charles Lindbergh's footsteps and make her own history? Three women's names are splashed daily across the front page: Elsie Mackay, daughter of an Earl, is the first Englishwoman to get her pilot's license. Mabel Boll, a glamorous society darling and former cigar girl, is ardent to make the historic flight. Beauty pageant contestant Ruth Elder uses her winnings for flying lessons and becomes the preeminent American girl of the sky. Inspired by true events and real people, Notaro vividly evokes this exciting time as her determined heroines vie for the record. With meticulous research and atmospheric prose, Notaro brings Elsie, Mabel, and Ruth to life, pulling us back in time as the pilots collide, struggle, and literally crash in the chase for fame and a place in aviation history.
©2016 Laurie Notaro (P)2016 Tantor
The Idiot Girls' Action-Adventure Club
Summary
Introducing Laurie Notaro, the leader of the Idiot Girls' Action-Adventure Club. Every day she fearlessly rises from bed to defeat the evil machinations of dolts, dimwits, and creepy boyfriends - and that's before she even puts on a bra. For the past 10 years, Notaro has been entertaining Phoenix newspaper readers with her wildly amusing autobiographical exploits and unique life experiences. She writes about a world of hourly-wage jobs that require absolutely no skills, a mother who hands down judgments more forcefully than anyone seated on the Supreme Court, horrific high-school reunions, and hangovers that leave her surprised she woke up in the first place. The misadventures of Laurie and her fellow Idiot Girls ("too cool to be in the Smart Group") unfold in a world that everyone will recognize but no one has ever described so hilariously. She delivers the goods: life as we all know it.
©2002 Laurie Notaro (P)2011 Tantor
We Thought You Would be Prettier
Summary
She thought she'd have more time. Laurie Notaro figured she had at least a few good years yet. But no---it's happened. She has officially lost her marbles. From the kid at the pet-food store checkout line whose coif is so bizarre it makes her seethe "I'm going to kick his hair's ass" to the hapless Sears customer service rep on the receiving end of her Campaign of Terror, no one is safe from Laurie's wrath. Her cranky side seems to have eaten the rest of her---inner-thigh Chub Rub and all. And the results are breathtaking. Her riffs on e-mail spam, eBay ("There should be an eBay wading pool, where you only get to bid on Precious Moments figurines and Avon products, and you have to make it through that first before jumping into the deep end"), and the perils of St. Patrick's Day ("When I'm driving, the last think I need is a herd of inebriates darting in and out of traffic like loaded chickens") are the stuff of legend. And for Laurie, it's all 100 percent true.
©2005 Laurie Notraro (P)2011 Tantor
It Looked Different on the Model
Summary
Everyone's favorite Idiot Girl, Laurie Notaro, is just trying to find the right fit, whether it's in the adorable blouse that looks charming on the mannequin but leaves her in a literal bind or in her neighborhood after she's shamefully exposed at a holiday party by delivering a low-quality rendition of "Jingle Bells." Notaro makes misstep after riotous misstep as she tries (and catastrophically fails) to gain some ground---delightfully whipping up butter-laden cupcakes for the local vegan kids, finding herself banned from the post office for wanting too many two-cent stamps ("The post-office lady looked at me like I had just asked her if she wanted to buy my sex tape"), and discovering what appears to be a corpse on her front lawn seconds before her sister is due to visit ("I had approximately three to four minutes to move the carcass from my yard into my neighbors' yard so my sister would think it was their dead person"). She shares tales of marriage and family, including stories about the dog-bark translator that deciphers Notaro's and her husband's own "woofs" a little too accurately, the emails from her mother with "FWD" in the subject line ("which in email code means Forecasting World Destruction"), and the dead-of-night shopping sprees and Devil Dog-devouring monkeyshines of a creature known as "Ambien Laurie." At every turn, Notaro's pluck and irresistible candor sets the New York Times best-selling author on a journey that's laugh-out-loud funny and utterly unforgettable.
©2011 Laurie Notaro (P)2011 Tantor
There's a (Slight) Chance I Might Be Going to Hell
Summary
When her husband is offered a post at a small northwestern university, Maye Roberts is only too happy to pack up and leave the relentless Phoenix heat for the lush green quietude of Spaulding, Washington. While she loves the odd little town, there is one thing she didn't anticipate: just how heartbreaking it would be to leave her Phoenix friends behind. And when you're a childless 30-something freelance writer who works at home, making new friends can be quite a challenge. After a series of false starts nearly gets her banished from the town, Maye decides that her last chance to connect with her new neighbors is to enter the annual Sewer Pipe Queen Pageant, a kooky but dead-serious local tradition open to contestants of all ages and genders. Aided by a deranged former pageant queen with one eyebrow, Maye doesn't just make a splash; she uncovers a sinister mystery that has haunted the town for decades.
©2007 Laurie Notaro (P)2007 Books on Tape
Autobiography of a Fat Bride
Summary
In Autobiography of a Fat Bride, Laurie Notaro tries painfully to make the transition from all-night partyer and bar-stool regular to mortgagee with plumbing problems and no air conditioning. Laurie finds grown-up life just as harrowing as her reckless youth, as she meets Mr. Right, moves in, settles down, and crosses the toe-stubbing threshold of matrimony. From her mother's grade-school warning to avoid kids in tie-died shirts because their hippie parents spent their food money on drugs and art supplies; to her night-before-the-wedding panic over whether her religion is the one where you step on the glass; to her unfortunate overpreparation for the mandatory drug-screening urine test at work; to her audition as a Playboy centerfold as research for a newspaper story, Autobiography of a Fat Bride has the same candor and outrageous humor that made Idiot Girls an instant cult phenomenon.
©2003 Laurie Notaro (P)2011 Tantor