Robert Kroese has 21 audiobooks on Listento.it, narrated by 12 narrators, with an average listener rating of 4.2★ across 28 ratings. The most-rated is Starship Grifters.
Starship Grifters
Summary
A space-faring ne'er-do-well with more bravado than brains, Rex Nihilo plies the known universe in a tireless quest for his own personal gain. But when he fleeces a wealthy weapons dealer in a high-stakes poker game, he ends up winning a worthless planet - and owing an outstanding debt more vast than space itself! The only way for Rex to escape a lifetime of torture on the prison world Gulagatraz is to score a big payday by pulling off his biggest scam. But getting mixed up in the struggle between the tyrannical Malarchian Empire and the plucky rebels of the Revolting Front - and trying to double-cross them both - may be his biggest mistake. Luckily for Rex, his frustrated but faithful robot sidekick has the cyber-smarts to deal with buxom bounty hunters, pudgy princesses, overbearing overlords, and interstellar evangelists - while still keeping Rex’s martini glass filled.
©2014 Robert Kroese (P)2014 Brilliance Audio, all rights reserved.
Disenchanted
Summary
King Boric the Implacable knows death comes to all great warriors. He just didn't expect it to be so damn fickle. Felled by an assassin's blade, he should be spending eternity carousing in the Hall of Avandoor. Instead, his spirit is bound to his decaying body by the enchanted sword of Brakslaagt. And unless he can hunt down the mysterious Lord Brand, who gave him the weapon so long ago, he is cursed to wander the earth forever as an undead wraith. So begins Boric's extraordinary journey across the Six Kingdoms of Dis as a walking corpse who wants nothing more than to be disenchanted and left in peace. His is not an easy quest: along the way he is burned, riddled with arrows, and nearly blown to bits. But when he finally comes face-to-face with Lord Brand, Boric will discover that nothing - in life, in death, or in between - is exactly what it seems.
©2012 Robert Kroese (P)2013 Brilliance Audio, all rights reserved.
Out of the Soylent Planet: A Rex Nihilo Adventure
Summary
Interstellar con man Rex Nihilo has a price tag on his head. Railroaded into smuggling a shipment of contraband corn to a planet short on food, Rex finds himself on the run from an insidious corporation named Ubiqorp, which reaps obscene profits by keeping the planet dependent on shipments of synthetic rations.
When Rex and his long-suffering robot companion Sasha are sentenced to work as slave labor on a massive Ubiqorp plantation, they learn the terrible secret behind the corporation's products. To escape, Rex and Sasha team up with a mis-programmed combat drone and an intelligent mutant plant to lead a rebellion against their merciless corporate overlords.
Out of the Soylent Planet is a novel-length prequel to Starship Grifters, the book New York Times best-selling author Hugh Howey called "one of my favorite space romps of all time".
©2017 Robert Kroese (P)2018 Robert Kroese
Mercury Falls
Summary
Christine Temetri is at her wits’ end. For years she’s covered the increasingly bizarre activities of End Times cults for the Banner, a religious news magazine. Yet Christine, who once dreamed of being a "real" writer, has nothing to show for the gig other than a regular paycheck and serious doubt that Armageddon will occur in time for her next deadline. But after a mysterious man entrusts her with a locked briefcase and orders to "take it to Mercury", Christine finds herself face-to-face with a ping-pong-playing angel by the name of Galileo Mercury. It seems Mercury was sent from heaven to make preparations for Armageddon, yet became sidetracked by the earthly delights he discovered: Rice Krispy treats, table tennis, and beer, to name just a few. Mercury’s concern for the fate of mankind is middling at best, but he is happy to educate Christine on the details of the elaborate, if poorly organized, calamity to come. When Christine inadvertently saves the Antichrist - an obnoxious, thirtysomething gamer who still lives with his mother - from celestial assassination, she begins an ambitious battle to stop the Apocalypse and save the world. But the heavenly host is nothing if not persistent, and Christine, aided only by an apathetic angel and a reluctant Antichrist, has her work cut out for her. Packed with outrageous characters, Mercury Falls is a viciously funny (and occasionally absurd) morality tale for the 21st century.
©2010 Robert Kroese (P)2012 Brilliance Audio, Inc.
Aye, Robot
Summary
After interstellar con man Rex Nihilo hijacks a cargo freighter on a whim, he decides that he, and his long-suffering robot sidekick Sasha, have found their calling as space pirates. But when the ship's cargo turns out to be a cryogenically frozen religious fanatic who holds the secret to a vast galactic conspiracy, Rex and Sasha find themselves on the run from real pirates - as well as agents of the oppressive Malarchy, crazy space cultists, and the Ursa Minor mafia. If Rex is going to get out of this jam alive, he might just have to save the galaxy - again.
This edition of Aye, Robot also contains the complete audiobook, The Yanthus Prime Job.
©2017 Robert Kroese (P)2017 Robert Kroese
The Dream of the Iron Dragon
Summary
Trapped 1,300 years in the past, they have one mission: survive. In the 23rd century, humanity has been hunted to the verge of extinction by an alien race. When an exploratory ship accidentally travels back in time to Viking-age Scandinavia, the human race is given a second chance. Pursued by the power-hungry King Harald, the four surviving crew members join a ragtag band of Vikings as they pillage their way across Europe. It will take all their ingenuity, courage, and technical know-how just to survive. But survival is only the beginning. To save humanity, they must somehow return to the stars. Thus begins a decades-long effort to teach the Vikings to build a craft capable of reaching space - a ship that will come to be known as the Iron Dragon. The Dream of the Iron Dragon is the first installment in the Iron Dragon trilogy. The sequel, The Dawn of the Iron Dragon, was released in June 2018. The saga will conclude with The Voyage of the Iron Dragon in December 2018. The Iron Dragon trilogy is being produced as part of the phenomenally successful Saga of the Iron Dragon Kickstarter, which raised more than $10,000. Meticulously researched and packed with action, The Dream of the Iron Dragon is a must for sci-fi and alternate history fans.
©2018 Robert Kroese (P)2018 Robert Kroese
The Wrath of Cons: A Rex Nihilo Adventure
Summary
Interstellar con man Rex Nihilo and his long-suffering robot sidekick Sasha are back, and they're neck-deep in their most outrageous scam yet: selling black market planets!
Terraforming uninhabitable planets and selling them to criminals right under the nose of the repressive interstellar Malarchy is good work if you can get it, but there's a price: as the pair's profits soar, they find themselves on the run from...well, pretty much everybody. With the Malarchy breathing down their necks, the malevolent cult known as the Sp'ossels hot on their heels, and the Ursa Minor Mafia out for their cut, Rex and Sasha hop from planet to planet, with nothing but their wits and a motley crew of loyal friends to keep them alive.
But when their antics draw the attention of an ancient intelligence determined to wipe humanity from the galaxy, they put their moneymaking plans on hold - and team up with their biggest rival - to save the galaxy once again.
©2018 Robert Kroese (P)2019 Robert Kroese
Distopia
Summary
Set a thousand years (give or take) before the events of Disenchanted, Distopia tells the story of Wyngalf the Bold, the legendary hero renowned for ridding the land of Dis of the scourge of dragons. The story begins as Wyngalf, a young missionary for an obscure religious sect, arrives in the port city of Skuldred. Desperate to prove his worth to his superiors, Wyngalf finds himself drafted into leading a missionary voyage across the sea to the semilegendary land of Dis. Accompanied by a beautiful stowaway named Evena and an oddball goblin who has been shunned by his clan, Wyngalf is continually thwarted in his attempts to proselytize by various practical concerns - chief among these being the fact that the land of Dis is being terrorized by a fearsome dragon. Wyngalf realizes that in order to prove his faith and get Evena home, he must summon the courage and resourcefulness to defeat the dragon. But what if his faith isn't enough?
©2015 Robert Kroese (P)2015 Audible, Inc.
Disillusioned
Summary
Disillusioned takes place a little over 100 years after the climactic Battle of Brandsvied at the end of Disenchanted. The Battle of Brandsveid brought together every king and nobleman in the land in an epic struggle for the future of the Land of Dis, as the armies of the Six Kingdoms united against the monstrous army of Lord Brand. It was the event Vergil, a knight in the service of the Order of Avaress, had waited for his entire life. Unfortunately, he slept through it. In fact, thanks to an accident involving some magic powder, Vergil slept through the next 100 years as well, finally awakening in a world irrevocably changed by the outcome of that epic battle. Finding himself suddenly an old man, Vergil must try to navigate this strange new world with only the help of his slightly dim but well-meaning servant, Handri. Despite the peaceful, civilized veneer of modern-day Dis, Vergil is convinced that a great evil still threatens the land, and he and Handri set about to uncover and vanquish it. But Vergil's prejudices and chivalric principles prove worse than useless in this strange new world, and he succeeds only in getting himself deeper and deeper in trouble while stirring up simmering animosities between goblins and humans. Can Vergil separate illusion from reality and uncover the true threat to Dis before it's too late?
©2015 Robert Kroese (P)2015 Audible, Inc.
The Dawn of the Iron Dragon
Summary
A new beginning, 1,300 years in the past.... In medieval Europe, three explorers from the distant future begin an ambitious project: to build a craft capable of reaching the stars. While their leader oversees the construction of a secret underground base in Iceland, the other two travel thousands of miles to negotiate with the rulers of Europe and recruit the most brilliant minds of the age. When the Iceland base comes under attack, the travelers try to return to defend their home, but they are trapped in Paris just as an army of 20,000 Vikings lays siege to the city. To survive, they must defend Paris from the hordes of Norsemen and fight their way back to Iceland to save their new home - and keep the dream of the Iron Dragon alive. The Dawn of the Iron Dragon is the second installment in the Iron Dragon trilogy, which began with The Dream of the Iron Dragon. The saga will conclude with The Voyage of the Iron Dragon. The Iron Dragon trilogy is being produced as part of the phenomenally successful Saga of the Iron Dragon Kickstarter, which raised more than $10,000. Meticulously researched and packed with action, this series is a must for sci-fi and alternate-history fans.
©2018 Robert Kroese (P)2018 Robert Kroese
The Brand of the Warlock
Summary
A hooded man, his face marred by a mysterious black brand, walks the Plain of Savlos. Some say he has the power to summon demons. Others say he is the only one who can vanquish them. His name is Konrad, and he has a secret.... Once an ordinary soldier, his life was forever changed by a fateful meeting with a dying sorcerer. Now he is all that stands between civilization and the creeping evil of the shadow world.
©2019 Robert Kroese (P)2020 Tantor
The Last Iota
Summary
The year is 2039, and Los Angeles is poised between order and chaos. After the Collapse of 2028, a vast section of LA, now known as the Disincorporated Zone, was disowned by the civil authorities and became a de facto third world country within the borders of the city. Navigating the boundaries between DZ and LA proper is a tricky task, and there's no one better suited than eccentric private investigator Erasmus Keane. So when movie mogul Selah Fiore decides she needs to get her hands on a rare coin lost somewhere in the city, she knows Keane is the man for the job. But while the erratic Keane and his more sensible partner, Blake Fowler, struggle to unravel the mystery of the elusive coin, Blake's girlfriend, Gwen, goes missing, and Selah Fiore turns up murdered. Both of these crimes seem to be linked to the coin - and to an untraceable virtual currency called iotas, used by drug dealers and terrorist networks. Framed for Selah's murder and desperate to find Gwen, Keane and Fowler must outwit DZ warlords, outmaneuver a reclusive billionaire, and stay a step ahead of the police while they gradually uncover the truth about iotas. Soon the clues begin to point to a conspiracy at the highest levels of government - and to a mysterious trickster who has orchestrated it all. As the DZ devolves into chaos and another Collapse seems to loom, Blake Fowler realizes that the brilliant Erasmus Keane may have finally met his match. Set in the world of The Big Sheep, Robert Kroese delivers another dystopian adventure audiobook full of wit and intrigue.
©2017 Robert Kroese (P)2017 Macmillan Audio
Mercury Rests
Summary
After foiling an attempt to destroy the universe, Mercury has gone missing. And with the devil already putting the final fiendish touches on his next scheme to bring about the apocalypse, all that stands between Lucifer and his dreams of a hellfire holocaust are two misfit humans: jaded religion reporter Christine Temetri and mild-mannered forensic analyst Jacob Slater. The pair soon realizes that the Prince of Darkness has set his sights higher than they can reach; he’s planning to bring his battle for domination straight to the pearly gates. They’ll need the wisecracking, Ping-Pong-loving, apathetic angel Mercury to help save the day, the world, and Heaven before the clock ticks down to the End Times…if they can find him. By turns epic and explosive, Mercury Rests concludes the trilogy that Booklist describes as a “hilarious romp” that has “cult favorite written all over it.”
©2012 Robert Kroese (P)2012 Brilliance Audio, Inc.
Mercury Revolts
Summary
After a lowly software tester named Suzy Cilbrith uncovers evidence of a vast government conspiracy, she turns to a fringe reporter named Eddie Pratt for help. Far from dismissing her wild claims, Eddie reveals that things are even worse than they appear: the US government has been infiltrated by angels, who are attempting to bring about Heaven on Earth - no matter the cost. Only one angel knows the secret to exposing the cabal: the rogue cherub known as Mercury. But when Mercury learns who is behind the cabal, he realizes he's going to need a lot of help. Old enemies become allies, old friends become bitter enemies, and as competing plots for world domination unfold, it isn't always clear which is which.
©2014 Robert Kroese (P)2016 Robert Kroese
The Big Sheep
Summary
Los Angeles of 2039 is a baffling and bifurcated place. After the Collapse of 2028, a vast section of LA, the Disincorporated Zone, was disowned by the civil authorities and became essentially a third world country within the borders of the city. Navigating the boundaries between DZ and LA proper is a tricky task, and there's no one better suited than eccentric private investigator Erasmus Keane. When a valuable genetically altered sheep mysteriously goes missing from Esper Corporation's labs, Keane is the one they call. But while the erratic Keane and his more grounded partner, Blake Fowler, are on the trail of the lost sheep, they land an even bigger case. Beautiful television star Priya Mistry suspects that someone is trying to kill her - and she wants Keane to find out who. When Priya vanishes and then reappears with no memory of having hired them, Keane and Fowler realize something very strange is going on. As they unravel the threads of the mystery, it soon becomes clear that the two cases are connected - and both point to a sinister conspiracy involving the most powerful people in the city. Saving Priya and the sheep will take all of Keane's wits and Fowler's skills, but in the end they may discover that some secrets are better left hidden.
©2016 Robert Kroese (P)2016 Macmillan Audio
Schrodinger's Gat
Summary
Schrodinger's Gat is a quantum physics noir thriller. Paul Bayes has begun to feel like all of his actions are dictated by forces beyond his control. But when his suicide attempt is foiled by a mysterious young woman named Tali, Paul begins to wonder if the future is really as bleak as it seems. Tali possesses a strange power: the ability to predict tragedies and prevent them from happening. The possibility of breaking free from the grip of fate gives Paul hope. But when Tali disappears, Paul begins to realize that altering the future isn't as easy as it seems: you can fight the future, but the future fights back.
©2012 Robert Kroese (P)2018 Robert Kroese
The Rise of the Demon Prince
Summary
A terrifying demon has come from the shadow world to threaten the land of Orszag. Flanked by a horde of ghostly specters, the demon intends to lay waste to the city of Nagyvaros, and only one man can stop him: Konrad the sorcerer. To defeat the demon, Konrad must learn to master the power of the warlock's brand. But with enemies all around him and no time to lose, Konrad finds himself playing one foe against another in a desperate attempt to stay alive, hoping one day to wreak his vengeance on the man who destroyed his life...
©2019 Robert Kroese (P)2020 Tantor
Mercury Rises
Summary
Fresh off their successful quest to thwart not one, but two diabolical plots to destroy the world, jaded reporter Christine Temetri and rough cherub Mercury find that mysterious powers outranking even the Heavenly bureaucracy seem intent on keeping the Apocalypse on track. Mercury Rises continues author Robert Kroese’s tale of the heroic cherub Mercury, who is generally well-intentioned, rarely well-behaved, and always well-armed with a droll remark. While the world is plagued by natural disasters and nations prepare for war, crazed billionaire Horace Finch plots to use a secret device hidden beneath the African desert to discover the deepest secrets of the Universe - even if he has to destroy the Universe to do it. Meanwhile, unassuming FBI investigator Jacob Slater tries to find a rational explanation for the mysterious destruction of downtown Anaheim - a quest that ultimately brings him face to face with the unhinged Horace Finch. Together, Christine, Jacob, and Mercury must stop Finch from activating the device and tearing reality to pieces. Kroese’s rapid-fire sense of humor and razor-sharp wit keep Mercury Rises moving at breakneck speed, hurtling toward a climax that is as funny as it is satisfying.
©2011 Robert Kroese (P)2012 Brilliance Audio, Inc.
The Voyage of the Iron Dragon (An Alternate History Viking Epic)
Summary
The Conclusion of The Epic Series that Began with The Dream of The Iron Dragon Ninth century Iceland. Three explorers from the far future have a daunting mission: To save humanity, they must build a craft capable of reaching the stars. The Voyage of The Iron Dragon is the concluding book in The Iron Dragon trilogy. The Iron Dragon trilogy is being produced as part of the phenomenally successful saga of The Iron Dragon Kickstarter, which raised over $10,000. Meticulously researched and packed with action, The Dream of The Iron Dragon is a must for sci-fi and alternate history fans. "Terrific storytelling, letter-perfect alternate-history, and the highest stakes for humanity imaginable combine to make this a thrilling start to an exciting new Viking saga. Kroese avoids both romanticizing and demonizing the Vikings, showing them to us in all their humanity, while spinning a tale that pulls no punches and leaves us gasping for more." (Lars Hedbor)
©2019 Robert Kroese (P)2020 Robert Kroese
Mercury Shrugs
Summary
Four years after the destruction of the planeport, Earth remains cut off from Heaven. The angels and demons are in disarray, lacking direction and leadership. Someone has to step up and take control, and that person is...Mercury? But when the demoness Tiamat finds out about Mercury's plan to reestablish contact with heaven, all hell breaks loose. Mercury finds himself at the center of a plot to rewrite Earth's history, and the only way to stop it is to travel back in time to prevent the plot from coming to fruition. Along the way, he accidentally travels to multiple parallel universes, meeting several alternate versions of himself and tearing a gaping hole in the fabric of reality. Will the universe survive? Will Mercury be trapped in prehistoric Africa? Will we ever find out who Mercury's favorite Gilmore Girls character is? Listen to Mercury Shrugs to find out!
©2016 Robert Kroese (P)2017 Robert Kroese