Ross Patterson has 3 audiobooks on Listento.it, narrated by 2 narrators, with an average listener rating of 5★ across 304 ratings. The most-rated is Thank You for My Service.
Thank You for My Service
Summary
New York Times best seller The unapologetic, laugh-your-ass-off military memoir both vets and civilians have been waiting for, from a five-tour Army Ranger turned YouTube phenomenon and zealous advocate for veterans Members of the military’s special operations branches share a closely guarded secret: They love their jobs. They relish the opportunity to fight. They are thankful for it, even, and hopeful that maybe, possibly, they’ll also get to kill a bunch of bad guys while they’re at it. You don’t necessarily need to thank them for their service - the pleasure is all theirs. In this hilarious and personal memoir, listeners ride shotgun alongside former Army Ranger and private military contractor and current social media phenomenon Mat Best, into the action and its aftermath, both abroad and at home. From surviving a skin infection in the swampy armpit of America (aka Columbus, Georgia) to kicking down doors on the outskirts of Ramadi, from blowing up a truck full of enemy combatants to witnessing the effects of a suicide bombing right in front of your face, Thank You for My Service gives listeners who love America and love the good guys fresh insight into what it’s really like inside the minds of the men and women on the front lines. It’s also a sobering yet steadying glimpse at life for veterans after the fighting stops, when the enemy becomes self-doubt or despair and you begin to wonder why anyone should be thanking you for anything, least of all your service. How do you keep going when something you love turns you into somebody you hate? For veterans and their friends and families, Thank You for My Service will offer comfort in the form of a million laughs and counsel as a blueprint for what to do after the war ends and the real fight begins. And for civilians, this is the insider account of military life you won’t find anywhere else, told with equal amounts of heart and balls. It’s Deadpool meets Captain America, except one went to business school and one went to therapy, and it’s anyone’s guess which is which.
©2019 Mat Best, Ross Patterson, and Nils Parker (P)2019 Random House Audio
When Darkness Falls, He Doesn't Catch It
Summary
You’re goddamn right. I’m still sitting at the same weathered wooden table in the back of Manhattan’s oldest bar where I just finished my first masterpiece, At Night She Cries, While He Rides His Steed. The second I finished it, I started writing this one. I’m now 14 beers deep, and I’ve polished off an entire eight ball of yay. The phrase “everything in moderation” applies to everything except cocaine, booze, and prostitutes. If you haven’t read my last book then you probably won’t f--cking understand anything in this book, so you should probably go buy that first and stop being poor. It’s f--cking gross. Let’s get something straight, my life is so important that you should be grateful I’m even doing this. Seriously, do you know another motherf--cker like me? Me, neither. So let’s get down to brass. In the last book, I told you that I was going to off myself after completing my life story. That still holds true. My trusty handgun is still loaded next to my Remington Rand typewriter that Hemingway pissed on, and you know the f--cking bartender isn’t going to cut me off, so I’m going to sit here and keep writing my memoirs until I finish. To answer your question: No, I haven’t gotten up for bathroom breaks. I just piss on the floor.
©2018 Ross Patterson (P)2018 Ross Patterson
As The Sun Rises It Dawns on Him
Summary
The third opus in the illustrious life of St. James St. James Romance Novels for Dudes collection sees him fighting prohibition in the 1920s all the way through his flyboy days in WWII. If you don't have an erection, he'll give you one. I mean, you'll have to pay for this sh*t... but you'll get one. That's a Men's Wearhouse type of guarantee too, homeboy. Did that guy die btw? (#thoughtsandprayers if he did)
©2020 Ross Patterson (P)2020 Ross Patterson