Cover art for Have You Heard the One About

Have You Heard the One About

Summary

Have you heard the story about Alan Titchmarsh in the flower bed with Charlie Dimmock? Or Hinge & Bracket at the Edinburgh Festival? Or Richard Digance on his first date?Here is another non-stop feast of jokes, anecdotes and stories from some of Britain's best storytellers and raconteurs: Alan Titchmarsh, Richard Digance, Donald Sinden, Hinge & Bracket and Henry Cooper. There are dozens of stories guaranteed to make you laugh, about the Hollywood legends Grace Kelly and Groucho Marx, the boxing greats Joe Louis and Muhammad Ali, and behind the scenes on the popular TV programme Ground Force. Join the enthusiastic theatre audiences and enjoy storytelling at its very best!

©1994 Donald Sinden, 1995 Hinge & Bracket, Henry Cooper, 1996 Richard Digance, 1999 Alan Titchmarsh (P)2002 BarryMour Productions

Available on Audible
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Mr Gandy's Grand Tour

Summary

Timothy Gandy has kept his lifetime's ambition secret for 40 years. Now, suddenly (if tragically) released from the henpecked tedium of his ordinary existence, he is unexpectedly free to realize his dreams. He will embark on a grand tour of Europe, following in the footsteps of the aristocrats of the 18th century. He anticipates high art, culture and pleasant weather. He never expects to encounter new friendships - and possibly even love - along the way. It seems that Mr Gandy has embarked on the journey of a lifetime....

©2016 Alan Titchmarsh (P)2016 Hodder & Stoughton

Narrator: Alan Titchmarsh
Length: 9 hrs and 42 mins
Available on Audible
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The Celebrity Kids' Stories Collection

1 rating

Summary

Delight in a collection of famous children's stories performed by our favourite celebrities. From a fantastic edition of "Beauty and the Beast", read by the brilliant comedian, writer and actor Rik Mayall, to an awe-inspiring and captivating retelling of "Sleeping Beauty" by the renowned Lenny Henry, and many, many more.... This collection includes: "Aladdin", "Beauty and the Beast", "Sinbad the Sailor", "The Gingerbread Man", "Three Little Pigs" (Rik Mayall), "Hansel and Gretel", "The Adventures of Alice in Wonderland", "Rapunzel", "Rumpelstiltskin", "The Hare and the Tortoise" (Bobby Davro), "Sleeping Beauty", "Emperor's New Clothes", "Ugly Duckling" (Lenny Henry), "Get Me out of the Jungle Book "(David Van Day), "Goldilocks and the Three Bears", "Jack and the Beanstalk", "Safety First at Home and Play" (Phillip Schofield), "Cinderella", "Beepo Bear" (Anita Harris), "The Princess and the Pea" (Emma Forbes), "Puss in Boots" (Tony Robinson), "Billy Goats Gruff", "Snow White" (Andy Crane), "The Pirate", "The Parrot", "The Genie & the 'Magic Way' Explained" (Stephen Fry) and "Joseph and His Coat of Many Colours" (Alan Titchmarsh).

©2017 One Media iP Ltd (P)2017 One Media iP Ltd

Available on Audible
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Only Dad

Summary

Tom and Pippa Drummond have the perfect life. Tom is a partner in the successful restaurant The Pelican, and Pippa grows and sells herbs whilst bringing up their lively daughter, Tally. As they arrive in Tuscany on a much needed family holiday, it seems life couldn't be better. But overnight their whole world is turned upside down, and life will never be the same again. From being the perfect family and the envy of all their friends, they are thrust into a world that nobody would wish upon them. Only Dad bears all the Titchmarsh trademarks. A deliriously entertaining blend of humour and romance with a piquancy of sexiness!

©2002 Alan Titchmarsh (P)2002 W. F. Howes Ltd

Narrator: Alan Titchmarsh
Category: Romance
Length: 8 hrs and 25 mins
Available on Audible
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Bring Me Home

Summary

Britain's favourite gardener and TV presenter Alan Titchmarsh takes us to the scenic highlands of Scotland for his new tale of betrayal, mystery and romance. The author of eight bestselling novels including The Haunting and Folly, Titchmarsh's new multi-generational novel makes the perfect gift this Mother's Day. It seems a perfect afternoon in the Highlands. Standing at the door of the lochside castle that has been his family's home for generations, Charlie Stuart welcomes his guests to the annual summer drinks party. Conversation, laughter and the clinking of glasses soon fill the air as friends and neighbours come together to toast the laird's happiness and prosperity. But Charlie sees the truth behind the façade: the sacrifices made to safeguard the estate; the devastating losses that have haunted him for decades; the guilt that lies at the heart of it all. And in a few hours, he knows, the perfect afternoon will come to an end. The past, with its dark secrets of love, death, loyalty and betrayal, is about to catch up with him. And it could finally tear his family apart...

©2014 Alan Titchmarsh (P)2014 Hodder & Stoughton

Narrator: Alan Titchmarsh
Length: 8 hrs and 47 mins
Available on Audible
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Rosie

Summary

Alan Titchmarsh's sparkling new novel is a delicious blend of humour and romance and a resounding affirmation that there is no such thing as the generation gap. The voice on the other end of the phone was severe. 'It's your grandmother.' 'Yes?' 'She's been arrested.' Nick Robertson has become used to his grandmother Rosie's dotty behaviour. At 86, a widow now, she is determined that before life passes her by, she will live a little. Or preferably a lot. It wouldn't be so bad if Nick had nothing else to do, but with a job to find, two warring parents to cope with and a love life in terminal decline, he would prefer his grandmother to get on with things quietly. But, Rosie insists, there is no time like the present....

©2004 Alan Titchmarsh (P)2005 W.F. Howes Ltd

Narrator: Alan Titchmarsh
Category: Romance
Length: 8 hrs and 12 mins
Available on Audible
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Alan Titchmarsh

1 rating

Summary

Alan Titchmarsh first found fame as a presenter on British television. His long-standing career in horticulture led to media attention and he subsequently hosted several gardening programmes. Perhaps finding the ‘pen mightier than the spade’ he has in recent years, turned his hand to authorship: first writing gardening tomes, followed by autobiographical works and latterly, fiction.

©2016 Audible, Ltd (P)2016 Audible, Ltd

Narrator: Alan Titchmarsh
Author: Robin Morgan
Length: 15 mins
Available on Audible
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England, Our England

Summary

An anthology and miscellany of everything an Englishman should know: from Austen to Wordsworth, Jerusalem to the Scout's Honour, Kings and Queens of England to Land of Hope and Glory, Savile Row tailors to Jermyn St shirt makers, tying a Windsor knot to making a pot of tea, Victoria sponge to fish pie and the rules of cricket to Gilbert and Sullivan operas.

©2007 Alan Titchmarsh (P)2007 Hodder and Stoughton Audiobooks

Narrator: Alan Titchmarsh
Length: 2 hrs and 18 mins
Available on Audible
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Folly

Summary

Alan Titchmarsh reads his most ambitious novel to date. A multi-generational story of intrigue, rivalry and romance between two families auction houses in Bath. For three generations the family-run auction houses of the Dashwoods and the Kings have been fierce rivals. The grandparents Henry Dashwood and Edward King were once best friends, despite their different backgrounds. Best friends until they fell for the same girl Eleanor Faraday eventually picked Henry but the seeds had been sown for a bitter feud that flourished between the two clans for over six decades. But as both firms prepare to celebrate their half century, two of the grandchildren, Jamie Dashwood and Artemis King, decide it’s time to bury the hatchet and arrange a shared party to which both families are invited. Things don’t go according to plan though and revelations at the party rock the foundations of both families as a web of deceit and intrigue, forgery and fraud are ruinously exposed. Jamie and Artemis uncover secrets that were better left undisturbed, but their discovery brings them closer together and they find themselves falling in love. Will their love be strong enough to survive the scandal they have unwittingly revealed?

©2008 Alan Titchmarsh (P)2008 Hodder & Stoughton

Narrator: Alan Titchmarsh
Length: 2 hrs and 35 mins
Available on Audible
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Love and Dr. Devon

Summary

It's not easy being a doctor, especially when your wife has run off in search of excitement and you're fired from your practice for sticking up for your principles. Christopher Devon tries to make a new life and, after a bit of persuasion from his daughter, to meet a new woman. But how to find one? And how to placate a son who thinks you should never have split up in the first place? Dr. Devon is not the only man with woman trouble. Tiger Wilson has been married just a little too comfortably for 30 years, and Gary Flynn is a serial womanizer who refuses to settle down. But soon all three of their lives are turned upside down, and not just by women. This entertaining novel shows how reality can prove a fly in the ointment of living happily ever after.

©2007 Alan Titchmarsh (P)2008 Simon & Schuster Audio

Narrator: Alan Titchmarsh
Length: 2 hrs and 59 mins
Available on Audible
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The Scarlet Nightingale

Summary

The new novel from Britain's favourite gardener and TV presenter Alan Titchmarsh is a sweeping story of love, danger, courage and betrayal, set in wartime London and Paris. As war rages across Europe, one young woman faces an impossible choice. Will she save her country...or the man she loves?  It is the late 1930s. In London, socialite Rosamund Hanbury is determined to give up the parties and social sets of which she is a prominent member to join the war effort, along with scores of other young women.  After a stint at Bletchley Park and as one of the Air Transport Auxiliary's 'Atagirls', Rosamund is recruited by the Special Operations Executive under the code name 'The Scarlet Nightingale' and eventually moved in secret to France. There she falls under the charm of Count Thierry Foustier, a gallant Frenchman with a taste for danger and women.  But in the high-stakes role of secret agent Rosamund can't trust anyone, for if her true identity is revealed, she will be killed. As the peril of her top-secret operation mounts, Rosamund will be drawn into the very heart of the war, where her love and her loyalty will be put to a test more devastating than she could ever imagine.   Set between wartime London and Paris, this is a thrilling story of love, danger and betrayal from best-selling novelist Alan Titchmarsh. 

©2018 Alan Titchmarsh (P)2018 Hodder & Stoughton Limited

Narrator: Alan Titchmarsh
Length: 10 hrs and 12 mins
Available on Audible