Jillian May has narrated 4 audiobooks on Listento.it by 5 authors, with an average listener rating of 5★ across 1 ratings. The most-rated is My Kid Is an Asshole, and So Is My Dog.
My Kid Is an Asshole, and So Is My Dog
Summary
I just returned from the mall after school shopping with my soon-to-be sophomore and her friend. I now understand why fathers opt to go camping, roll around in elk urine, and shit in a hole rather than go to the mall three days before school starts. As if the crowds weren’t bad enough, my girl decided to wear a flannel that hung lower than her shorts, making it appear that she was walking around naked from the waist down. She was flocked by sales people, who, I am sure, were calculating their commissions in their heads. I mean, why not? Everybody wants to help the girl who arrives pant-less. Obviously, she needs clothes. We’re not home half an hour and the vodka I poured for myself is only half gone when she yells down from her room, “Mom, have you seen my push up bra? Maybe we need to go back to the mall.” It’s the moments like these where I’m convinced raising a teen is bullshit, and I wonder if we’ll ever come out on the other side even speaking to one another. Pass the vodka. There aren’t enough warnings in the world for raising teenage girls. Although my mom swears my daughter takes after me, so it’s karma. Is it karma that I’ve got two barking dogs? It must be. Have you ever heard a shiu-tzu bark? I have. Over and over. They think they’re coyotes. I swear. And right now, they’re wrestling over some stuffed animal, which is surely about to fling open, so I can pick up little beads all over the carpet while drinking my vodka. No wait. They stopped. One of them had to drag its ass across the floor. Epic. It’s in the little moments where I earn my parenting badges - the faded stretch marks. Ruff, ruff! If this is my karma for being such an asshole to my mom, maybe we can get through this too. And if she pays attention in English, instead of scouting for a prom date, she can learn to write her own book - the sequel to this: My Mom Is an Asshole, but Not My Dog.
©2018 Crazy Ink (P)2019 Crazy Ink
Lawfully Defended: A SWAT Lawkeepers Romance
Summary
Faith first. Even in matters of the heart. When Diego Campos meets Marguerite Kinicki in the midst of a hostage situation, he is determined to date her. It isn't long before he falls hard. She has it all: beauty, brains, strength, and a sense of humor. The one thing she doesn't have is what matters most. Faith. Marguerite knows she's losing her heart to Diego, but she sees the warning signs and knows it's only a matter of time before he walks away and leaves her heart in tatters. Find out if together they can make a path forward for their love, while at the same time dealing with the fallout from busting a human trafficking ring and working on solving a series of murders that Diego believes is somehow related. The Lawkeepers is a multi-author series alternating between historical westerns and contemporary westerns featuring law enforcement heroes that span multiple agencies and generations. Join best-selling authors Jenna Brandt, Lorana Hoopes, and many others as they weave captivating, sweet and inspirational stories of romance and suspense between the lawkeepers - and the women who love them. The Lawkeepers is a world like no other; a world where lawkeepers and heroes are honored with unforgettable stories, characters, and love. Note: Each book in The Lawkeepers series is a standalone book, in a mini-series, and you can listen to them in any order.
©2018 Elle E. Kay (P)2019 Elle E. Kay
The Complete Dash Diet Cook Book #2019
Summary
The Complete Dash Diet Cook Book is designed to lower blood pressure, prevent diabetes, and improve your body. The book is full of amazing recipes anybody can make! Using easy ingredients, you can also fill your cooking jar with family favorites on a regular basis. With this cookbook, you will cook better, tastier, and faster meals for yourself and your family. What This Book Is All About: Benefits of DASH diets Amazing breakfast recipes Delicious lunch recipes Selected dinner recipes More DASH diet snacks recipes Easy ingredients and simple instruction Cooking time, servings, and nutrition info
©2019 Juan Carlos (P)2020 Juan Carlos
Ketogenic Diet Cookbook for Beginners
Summary
You are about to discover how to keep your body burning fat 24/7 while on a ketogenic diet with the easy to follow, for beginners cookbook! The keto diet is without doubt the most effective dietary approach to weight loss. Perhaps you’ve seen some of these photos and gotten so inspired that you want to give the keto diet a try but you are not sure what this is all about. The ketogenic weight loss program is an eating plan according to a procedure known as ketosis. It is a certain status of the entire body that is recognized by an elevated level of ketones of the bloodstream, which happens because of the transformation of fat into fatty ketones and acids. Therefore, are you looking to cook healthier, smarter and efficiently for better health? Do you want to go keto, but don’t know where to start? If you have these and other related questions, this book is for you so keep reading. With 700 of the most wanted ketogenic diet recipes tailored for true beginners, you will never get bored in your daily kitchen routines This guide will focus on the following: Breakfast Mains and sides Seafood, poultry, meat Vegetables Soups and stews Snacks and desserts A 21 days diet plan to put what you have learned into action! Nutritional facts on each of the recipes And more! What are you waiting for? Click "Buy Now" to start to lose weight and enjoy the benefits of ketogenic food!
©2019 Stella Ray Martin (P)2020 Stella Ray Martin