John G. Hartness has 44 audiobooks on Listento.it, narrated by 11 narrators, with an average listener rating of 5★ across 49 ratings. The most-rated is Year One.
Year One
Summary
Straight out of the pages of the legendary vampire novel Dracula comes a demon hunter for the modern world. Mina Murray and Jonathan Harker had a son. They named him Quincy. His guardian angel calls him Q. Dracula calls him nephew. Demons call him The Reaper. "There are things in this world that men and women aren't meant to understand. We aren't supposed to know these things exist, much less how to fight them. The things that go bump in the night, the monsters in the closet, the shadow out of the corner of your eye - that's where I live." Collects the first four Quincy Harker, Demon Hunter novellas: Raising Hell Straight to Hell Hell on Heels Hell Freezes Over
©2014, 2016 John G. Hartness (P)2016 John G. Hartness
Bubba the Monster Hunter: Books 1-3
Summary
He's big. He's dumb. He's heavily armed. He's hilarious! For the first time in one audiobook set, this box set collects Seasons 1-3 of the popular Bubba the Monster Hunter series, from the author of The Black Knight Chronicles and Quincy Harker, Demon Hunter. Robert "Bubba" Brabham never wanted to hunt monsters. He mostly wanted to drink beer, hunt deer, and chase women, like every other giant redneck in the world. But life interfered, and Bubba found himself holster-deep in the family business: monster hunting. Now he's the Southeastern Regional Hunter for the Holy Roman Catholic Church, and along with his technical wizard and best friend Skeeter, his Knight Templar liaison Uncle Father Joe (because he's Skeeter's uncle, and he's a priest) and his...girlfriend (?) Agent Amy Hall of DEMON, a shady government agency with a ridiculous name just so it can spell out something cool, Bubba has to save the world from the things that go bump in the night! Just as soon as he's done with his beer. And maybe after one more lap dance. Fans of Tucker & Dale versus Evil, Cabin in the Woods, or Ash vs the Evil Dead will love this comedy/horror/urban fantasy collection, with three full collections in one box set! This collection includes: Scattered, Smothered, & Chunked: Bubba the Monster Hunter Season One Grits, Guns, & Glory: Bubba the Monster Hunter Season Two Wine, Women, & Song: Bubba the Monster Hunter Season Three
©2019 John G. Hartness (P)2019 Falstaff Books
The Cambion Cycle
Summary
Following on last year's award-winning dark fantasy series, Quincy Harker is back, and the stakes are higher than ever. Collecting four novellas into one volume, The Cambion Cycle sees Harker and his cohorts battling bigger threats, teaming with legends of folklore, and trying to save the world from a demonic horde. All with snark, flair, and heaping helpings of bloodshed and mayhem. The Cambion Cycle collects the following - Heaven Sent - the origin of Harker's guardian angel Glory. Heaven's Door - there's a murderer on the streets of Charlotte, but he's killing angels! Heaven Help Us - Harker is on the run, and nothing is as it seems in this small town. Heaven Can Wait - Can Harker and the Shadow Council save the world from a demon invasion?
©2016 John G. Hartness (P)2017 Falstaff Books
Hard Day's Knight
Summary
Lots of Vampires. No Sparkles. Serious Snark. Children are missing. The police are stumped. Halloween is coming, and an ancient evil is on the horizon. The vampires are the good guys. This is not your ordinary fall weekend in Charlotte, North Carolina. Vampire private detectives Jimmy Black and Greg Knightwood have been hired to save a client from being cursed for all eternity, but end up in a bigger mess than they ever imagined. Suddenly trapped in the middle of a serial kidnapping case, Jimmy and Greg uncover a plot to bring forth an ancient evil. Soon, they've enlisted the help of a police detective, a priest, a witch, a fallen angel, and a strip club proprietor to save the world. This unlikely band of heroes battles zombies, witches, neuroses, and sunburn while cracking jokes and looking for the perfect bag of O-negative.
©2010 John G. Hartness (P)2015 Bell Bridge Books
Monsters, Magic, & Mayhem
Summary
A giant redneck in Fairyland, what could possibly go wrong? Everything. Absolutely everything. Monsters, Magic, & Mayhem collects four novellas chronicling Bubba the Monster Hunter's trip through the lands of the Fae in search of his kidnapped sister. Yeah, he didn't know he had a sister, either. And that joke's old, man. Into the Mystic - Bubba and his troupe of merry morons has to find their way to Fairyland to rescue his sister. It's not as easy as it sounds, and it involves Bubba learning a lot of uncomfortable truths about why his mother walked out and his maybe not-quite human heritage. Cold as Ice - Bubba meets his grandmother, which should be great. Except she's the psychotic Queen of the Winter Court and wants to pretty much murder everyone. There's torture, tights, and Bubba dancing. Which is pretty much torture in tights. So lots of torture. Hot Blooded - Bubba and co. travel to the Summer Court in their quest for his sister, only to find that his grandfather, while less abjectly psychopathic than his ex-wife, Mab, is still kind of a douche. And just when the team thought they were on the right track to finish their quest, there's a dragon. A dragon. This is not something growing up in Georgia prepares you for. Shades of Grey - Bubba is closing in on his sister and her kidnapper, the Shakespearean trickster Puck. Except, he's not like hot Loki trickster. He's more like cut-your-throat-while-you-sleep-and-tell-you-a-knock-knock-joke-while-you're-bleeding-out trickster. Bubba has to battle his way through a horde of zombies just to get the opportunity to go on an old-fashioned dungeon crawl (with spiders, because...dungeon) to maybe finally confront Puck and save his sister. Then they get home, and things get really screwed up!
©2018 John Hartness (P)2019 Falstaff Books
Quincy Harker, Demon Hunter - Omnibus Volume One
Summary
He's the ass-kicking, wise-cracking, hard-drinking demon hunter you never knew you needed. He's Quincy Harker, and he's here to save your ass whether you want it or not. The immortal magic-wielding son of Jonathan Harker and Mina Murray from the classic novel Dracula, Harker now lives in North Carolina hunting down demons and sending them back to Hell. This Omnibus Edition collects the first 12 novellas in the Quincy Harker series. Included here are: Year One Raising Hell Straight to Hell Hell on Heels Hell Freezes Over The Cambion Cycle Heaven Sent Heaven's Door Heaven Help Us Heaven Can Wait Damnation Calling All Angels Devil Inside Angel Dance
©2019 John G. Hartness (P)2019 Falstaff Books
The Black Knight Chronicles Continues
Summary
Book 4: Paint It Black
In the fourth installment of The Black Knight Chronicles, Jimmy Black is having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day and a darned fine pity party, serving the finest alcohol, when a call from his not-quite-girlfriend-cop forces him to sober up and stare at jawbones. "Cold case" takes on a whole new meaning when vampire detectives risk life and limbs (literally) to connect a series of decades-old kidnappings in Charlotte with current missing persons cases. All clues lead through the veil of Faerieland to the legendary Goblin's Market, a magical bazaar where anything is available--for a price. The boys can barely stay out of trouble in Charlotte. As fresh meat at The Market, they'll be lucky to survive the day.
Book 5: In the Still of the Knight
The bodies are piling up!Murders are happening outside Charlotte's hottest nightspots. A new vampire society has set up shop in the sewers. And Jimmy Black's about to run afoul of the Master of the City. If Jimmy weren't already a vampire, the week ahead would be the death of him. Between murder, monsters, pesky vampire ethics, and territorial disputes, Jimmy is about to discover how far he's willing to go to save the world and one friend's soul. There are no easy choices, even for vampire geeks.
Book 6: Man in Black
The latest book in the award-winning Black Knight Chronicles is a raucous ride through the city of Charlotte's seedy underbelly with the most unlikely crime lord ever. Jimmy Black's knack for stumbling into the right place at the wrong time has landed him his dream job--or worst nightmare--Master Vampire of the City. Almost everyone that works for him wants him dead. His best friend isn't speaking to him.
©2017 John G. Hartness (P)2017 Bell Bridge Books
Salvation
Summary
From John G. Hartness, a must-listen collection of four Quincy Harker, Demon Hunter novellas... She Talks to Angels: In the fifth part of the Quincy Harker crossover series, Gabby helps hunt down a rogue archangel in St. Louis, learning more about herself, about history, and about that cute doctor's son than she expected. Shout at the Devil: The Quest for Glory continues as Quincy Harker travels west to hunt down a rogue Archangel and avenge the murder of a good friend. Angel of Harlem: The Quest for Glory rushes toward its conclusion as Quincy Harker steps in for a missing Shadow Council member and goes to New York City to find the last Archangel. But when pieces of his past come back to haunt him, Quincy must face feelings long buried and horrors brand new. Sympathy for the Devil: It's been a two-year quest that has spanned the continent, and now Quincy Harker is crossing dimensions to do battle with Lucifer and restore his Guardian Angel Glory's divinity. Is he really hero enough to stand toe to toe with the Devil himself and come out alive?
©2019 John G Hartness (P)2019 Tantor
Wine, Women, & Song: Bubba the Monster Hunter, Season 3
Summary
It's been a year since Bubba settled things with his crazy brother Jason once and for all, and what a year it's been! The third volume of collected Bubba stories contains more monsters, more inter-dimensional travel, more duels to the death, and more guitar solos than any other season of Bubba yet! Wine, Women, & Song is a collected edition including the following four novellas: Moon over Bourbon Street Night at the Museum Midsummer Oh Bubba, Where Art Thou? Moon Over Bourbon Street - Bubba and the team are on vacation in New Orleans, but it's anything but easy! There are vampires hunting people, a hot chick in black leather on a Harley, and a butt-nekkid voodoo priest! How in the world is Bubba supposed to stop drinking Hurricanes and figure this mess out? Night at the Museum - Bubba gets all cultured up when a mysterious figure from Uncle Father Joe's past drags him into a mess of romantic entanglements, butt-kicking suits of armor, ticked-off museum exhibits, and disembodied vampire heads trying to kill him. And that's not even the scary stuff! Midsummer - By far the most highbrow Bubba adventure ever, which ain't saying much. There are missing kids in Nashville, and Bubba and Agent Amy are called in to investigate. Bubba has to learn how to put an app on his phone, then gets sucked into a dimension with no cell service when Shakespeare meets Pokemon Go! Bubba has to find the missing girls, escape from prison, and rassle an alligator before he can get back home and get some famous hot chicken! Oh Bubba, Where Art Thou - a Christmas romp full of guest stars as Bubba tries to save the country music industry from Auto-Tune, bro country, and demons. Guest star Hank Williams Sr. takes Bubba through time in this redneck Christmas Carol. Can Bubba save country music, or are we doomed to an eternity of Luke Bryan and Florida Georgia Line?
©2015, 2016 John G. Hartness (P)2017 Falstaff Books
Scattered, Smothered, and Chunked
Summary
Scattered, Smothered, and Chunked collects the entire first season of Bubba the Monster Hunter from his first graveyard-splattering adventure in Voodoo Children to the stunning cliffhanger at the end of Final Countdown! Fans of the rollicking redneck monster hunter will find plenty of value in this massive collection of monsters, strippers, beer, and bullets! This collection includes 10 Bubba shorts, a Bubba prequel novella, and a bonus Black Knight Chronicles short story!
©2012 John G. Hartness (P)2015 John G. Hartness
Shingles Audio Collection Volume 1
Summary
Tantor Audio presents six must-listen stories from the horror comedy series Shingles. The collection begins with "The Ghost of Hooker Alley," which introduces listeners to 10-year-old Sarah and six-year-old Tommy. After a quick bus ride into town to buy a gun, Sarah and Tommy think their problems are all but solved. That is, until a creepy weirdo follows them into an alley. But they aren't the only ones in that alley.... "The Monkey's Penis" features Chris, a teenage boy who receives a birthday gift unlike any other. In "Gary's Children," a man's quest for stress relief leads to terror, and an unexpected kidnapping takes place in "Aliens Wrecked Our Kegger." "Zombies Ate My Homework" is set in the middle of a zombie outbreak. Todd, his brother, Andy, his best friend, Tarik, and their tomboy friend, Mikayla are forced to take shelter in the first place they can find - an adult novelty store. In the final story, "The Legend of Jimmy Headshot," the zombie apocalypse is upon us. The dead have risen from their graves to feed upon the flesh of the living, and 12-year-old Jimmy couldn't be happier about it. Contains mature themes.
©2018 Robert Bevan (“The Ghost of Hooker Alley”); copyright 2017 by Steve Wetherell (“The Monkey’s Penis”); copyright 2018 by Rick Gualtieri (“Gary’s Children”); copyright 2018 by Drew Hayes (“Aliens Wrecked Our Kegger”); copyright 2018 by John G. Hartness (“Zombies Ate My Homework”); copyright 2018 by Rick Gualtieri (“The Legend of Jimmy Headshot”) (P)2018 Tantor
Cold as Ice
Summary
What do you do when your psychotic grandmother also happens to be Mab, the mad queen of the Winter Court of the Faerie, who has you and your friends imprisoned after you invade her realm searching for the long-lost sister you never knew you had? Well, if you're Bubba the Monster Hunter, you break out of prison, have a dance-off in the middle of a ball, and enter a mortal combat tournament against magical beasties. If you're not Bubba, then I don't know what you'd do! In part two of Bubba the Monster Hunter: Season 4, Bubba's adventures in Fairyland continue as he picks right up where the action in Into the Mystic left off. Join Bubba, Skeeter, Amy, and Father Joe as they try to navigate court politics and the image of Bubba in doublet and hose to find and rescue his sister, Nitalia. Cold as Ice is part two of a four-part story line, beginning with Into the Mystic. These linked novellas will form Bubba the Monster Hunter: Season 4.
©2017 John G. Hartness (P)2017 Falstaff Books
Knight Moves
Summary
Et tu, vampire? The boys discover they may be tied to a string of serial killings at the college and that they suddenly aren't the only vampire game in town. The vampire count in Charlotte is at least three. Or more. As far as the unhappy boys are concerned, anything more than two is a crowd not to be tolerated. While tracking down the killer and the competition, they encounter coeds, booby traps (not related to the coeds), and a hirsute bounty hunter with a moon fetish and a bad attitude. To catch the killer, Jimmy will have to survive a dive headfirst into the great unwashed horde of Dorkdom (game night at the local comic shop). What's a red-blood-drinking vampire to do? His job. Again.
©2012 John G. Hartness (P)2015 Bell Bridge Books
Into the Mystic
Summary
Bubba's mama came to him for help, and now he's got absent mama drama! Why did his mother abandon her family all those years ago? What is this about a sister? And what does she mean she's a fairy princess? Does this mean Bubba is a fairy? That's just weird. Bubba, Agent Amy, Skeeter, Uncle Father Joe, and Mama have to go to FairyLand to save Bubba's sister from Puck, the trickster from Midsummer. He's kidnapped baby sis and is going to use her as leverage against Mad Queen Mab. Or maybe against Titania and Oberon. Or maybe he's got some other plan up his squirrelly sleeves. To get his sister back, Bubba has to travel all over the south to find a way to get Into the Mystic.
©2017 John G. Hartess (P)2017 Falstaff Books
All Knight Long
Summary
Saving the world was only the beginning.... Detective Jimmy Black's life as an accidental crime lord and Vampire Master of Charlotte has him longing for the days when the bad guys had neon signs above their heads and a couple of well-placed bullets won the day. Now he spends more time balancing books than kicking butts, and that doesn't make for a happy vampire. When a missing person case lands in the lap of Black Knight Investigations, Jimmy and his partner, Greg Knightwood, jump happily back into action - until their missing person rises as an uncontrollable vampire and all signs point to a supernatural coup orchestrated by an unknown vampire of immense power. With the case going sideways, more missing girls, and a new cop in town way too curious about Jimmy's perennial youth, life in Charlotte is about to get interesting again.
©2019 John G. Hartness (P)2019 Tantor
Shingles Audio Collection Volume 2
Summary
Tantor Audio presents six must-listen stories from the horror comedy series Shingles. Shingles Audio Collection Volume 2 begins with "Terror on Hypo Beach," in which a family vacation turns out to be anything but ordinary. In "Put Your Hand in My Ass", Will needs a mentor for the upcoming high school talent show. What he gets is Sloppy - an enchanted puppet with weird sexual proclivities and an extremely problematic approach to comedy. The collection continues with "Demon Load". When a freak accident brings his new washing machine to life, Dave begins to fear that it could lead to a nightmare future, one in which mankind has been permanently pressed out of existence. "Slaughter on Giggletime Mountain" brings listeners to the reopening of a long-closed amusement park - one with a deadly history. Then, in "It Came from My Butthole", Cooter, the son of an out-of-work rodeo clown, eats a taco that changes his life forever. In the collection's final story, "Slow Ride", Terry's suddenly way more attractive to members of the opposite sex now that he has Sylvia, his 1979 El Camino. But what happens when the car gets jealous? Contains mature themes.
©2018 Robert Bevan ("Terror on Hypo Beach"); copyright 2018 by Steve Wetherell ("Put Your Hand in My Ass"); copyright 2018 by Rick Gualtieri ("Demon Load"); copyright 2018 by Drew Hayes ("Slaughter on Giggletime Mountain"); copyright 2018 by Robert Bevan ("It Came from my Butthole"); copyright 2018 by John G. Hartness ("Slow Ride") (P)2019 Tantor
Back in Black
Summary
In the second volume of The Black Knight Chronicles, vampire detectives Jimmy Black and Greg Knightwood investigate a series of assaults plaguing the alleys of Charlotte. Along the way they battle trolls, bigotry, fairies, dragons, and small minds on the way to a knock-down battle royal inside a steel cage. The boys find themselves fighting evil in alleys, trolls in bars, and dragons in FairyLand and trying to scrub the sparkle off after a battle with vicious fae in the hall of the fairy queen. Yeah, really. All that and vampires, too.
©2012 John G. Hartness (P)2015 Bell Bridge Books
Grits, Guns & Glory
Summary
Bubba's back, and he's dealing with his brother, Jason, once and for all! This is the collected edition of Bubba the Monster Hunter Season 2, collecting everything since Scattered, Smothered & Chunked. Also included: a special preview of Raising Hell, a new novella from John G. Hartness and White Lightnin', a Beauregard the Monster Hunter short story! Included in this volume: UnHoly Night Love Hurts Dead Man's Hand She's Got Legs Howl Double Trouble Elf off the Shelf Casket Case Stone Cold Crazy Rest High on that Mountain Bad Moon Rising
©2015 John G. Hartness (P)2016 John G. Hartness
Heaven Sent
Summary
Quincy Harker is walking on the side of the angels this time. Or at least beside an angel. It's the summer of 2009, and Harker, the immortal magic-wielding nephew of Dracula, has a brand-new guardian angel. Her name is Glory, and she's there to try to keep Harker from getting himself killed. Try is the operative word. Someone is murdering Nephilim, the rare offspring of human and angel, and using their blood for a terrible ritual. Harker has to find out who the next victim is, who the murderer is, and what the plan is. All in three days. Because no matter what kind of help Heaven sent, it might not be enough to prevent someone from raising a lot of Hell. Heaven Sent is Book Five of the best-selling Quincy Harker, Demon Hunter series. Book One of the series, Raising Hell, was nominated for the 2016 Manly Wade Wellman Award by the NC Speculative Fiction Foundation.
©2016 John G. Hartness (P)2016 John G. Hartness
Devil Inside: A Quincy Harker, Demon Hunter Novella
Summary
Quincy Harker is back! The Quest for Glory continues as Quincy Harker travels to Charleston looking for a missing Archangel and becomes embroiled in local magical turf wars and potentially murderous politics. Things really heat up when an evil wizard tries to burn the city to the ground, with Harker at ground zero in the conflagration! Glory gave up her wings to save the world; now, Harker and the Shadow Council are working to get them back. To do that, they have to locate eight AWOL Archangels and convince them to go back to work. But not all these angels want to get back to the business of Heaven, and not all of them even remember who they are. Devil Inside is the second installment in the Quest for Glory serial featuring Quincy Harker and the Shadow Council. Calling All Angels Devil Inside Angel Dance The Quest for Glory will traverse eight novellas in total over 2017. The Manly Wade Wellman Award-winning Quincy Harker novellas are short novellas, similar to James Patterson Bookshots in length. These urban fantasy novellas are perfect for commuters, business travelers, and people with only short bursts of time.
©2017 John G. Hartness (P)2018 Falstaff Books