Robert Bevan has 26 audiobooks on Listento.it, narrated by 7 narrators, with an average listener rating of 4.6★ across 569 ratings. The most-rated is Critical Failures.
Critical Failures
Summary
Tim and his friends find out the hard way that you shouldn't question the game master, and you shouldn't make fun of his cape. One minute, they're drinking away the dreariness of their lives, escaping into a fantasy game and laughing their asses off. The next minute, they're in a horse-drawn cart surrounded by soldiers pointing crossbows at them. Tim now has the voice and physique of a prepubescent girl. Dave finds that while he lost a foot or two in height, he somehow acquired a suit of armor and a badass beard. Julian's ears have grown ridiculously long and pointy. And Cooper... well Cooper has gotten himself a set of tusks, a pair of clawed hands, and a bad case of the shits. He also finds that he's carrying a bag with a human head in it - a head that he had chopped off when they were still just playing a game. Shit just got real, and if they want to survive, these four friends are going to have to tap into some baser instincts they didn't even know existed in their fast-food and pizza delivery world. It's fight, flight, or try to convince the people who are trying to kill them that they don't really exist.
©2012 Robert Bevan (P)2014 Robert Bevan
Critical Failures V
Summary
Many view "hitting rock bottom" as a foundation on which to rebuild one's life, a place from which one can only ascend. Gamers know to search for a secret door leading down to the sewer.
©2017 Robert Bevan (P)2017 Robert Bevan
Great North Road
Summary
A century from now, thanks to a technology allowing instantaneous travel across light-years, humanity has solved its energy shortages, cleaned up the environment, and created far-flung colony worlds. The keys to this empire belong to the powerful North family - composed of successive generations of clones. Yet these clones are not identical. For one thing, genetic errors have crept in with each generation. For another, the original three clone "brothers" have gone their separate ways, and the branches of the family are now friendly rivals more than allies. Or maybe not so friendly. At least that's what the murder of a North clone in the English city of Newcastle suggests to Detective Sidney Hurst. Sid is a solid investigator who'd like nothing better than to hand off this hot potato of a case. The way he figures it, whether he solves the crime or not, he'll make enough enemies to ruin his career. Yet Sid's case is about to take an unexpected turn: Because the circumstances of the murder bear an uncanny resemblance to a killing that took place years ago on the planet St. Libra, where a North clone and his entire household were slaughtered in cold blood. The convicted slayer, Angela Tramelo, has always claimed her innocence. And now it seems she may have been right. Because only the St. Libra killer could have committed the Newcastle crime. Problem is, Angela also claims that the murderer was an alien monster. Now Sid must navigate through a Byzantine minefield of competing interests within the police department and the world's political and economic elite...all the while hunting down a brutal killer poised to strike again. And on St. Libra, Angela, newly released from prison, joins a mission to hunt down the elusive alien, only to learn that the line between hunter and hunted is a thin one.
©2012 Peter F. Hamilton (P)2013 Tantor
Critical Failures II: Fail Harder
Summary
Finding themselves permanently stuck in this strange new world, the gang tries to make the best of it by finding the nearest tavern and getting shitfaced. The plan goes just fine until they lose Katherine and Chaz. They soon discover that they aren't the first players Mordred has sent to this world.
©2013 Robert Bevan (P)2015 Robert Bevan
Critical Failures VI
Summary
In the wake of their recent loss, the Caverns and Creatures gang are left hanging. Do their choices amount to more than waiting around to die of thirst and leaping to a quicker death? Probably, or else this would have been a much shorter story.
©2018 Robert Bevan (P)2018 Robert Bevan
Critical Failures IV: The Phantom Pinas
Summary
The adventure continues. Tim and the C and C gang face their most difficult challenges yet. Horses die. Eyeballs are eaten. People are urinated on. A god is born.
©2015 Robert Bevan (P)2017 Robert Bevan
Critical Failures III
Summary
Going back home was not exactly what Tim and the C&C gang expected. Trouble continues to follow them back to Gulf Coast Mississippi. Trouble...and a gnome...and an undead midget.
©2014 Robert Bevan (P)2016 Robert Bevan
Critical Failures VII
Summary
Deeming the Whore's Head Inn no longer safe to hide in, the gang decide to take a more proactive role in their pursuit to get back to reality, or at least to keep Mordred from doing so.
©2019 Robert Bevan (P)2019 Robert Bevan
Critical Failures VIII
Summary
Splitting the party is never a good idea, but sometimes, that's just the hand fate deals you. On Nazere, the gang's plans are cast into the wind when a stubborn foe returns to settle a score. Back in Cardinia, Stacy has her hands full trying to help Dave, while Dave does everything in his power to avoid being helped. Tim and Cooper stagger out of the desert, to find themselves in a whole new world of trouble. As everyone explores new parts of this vast fantasy world, they encounter new friends and foes...and run into some they've met before. Set sail for adventure with galleons of seamen!
©2020 Robert Bevan (P)2020 Robert Bevan
Caverns and Creatures: Volume I (Books 1-4)
Summary
Swords. Sorcery. Dick Jokes. Truly do the gods smile upon you, dear listener, for the first four books in the hilarious Caverns and Creatures series are now available in one audiobook set. Join Tim, Dave, Julian, and Cooper as they are thrown into a hostile fantasy world filled with magic and monsters, and ruled over by a cruel and sadistic game master who taunts and harasses them while he sits back and eats their fried chicken. Having taken on the bodies of their fantasy characters, Tim and the others are forced to discover the answers to two questions that every underachieving lowlife who's ever rolled a d20 has asked themselves at least once. What if you and your friends got to live the game for real? What if you and your friends were assholes? Would you have what it takes to survive? The strength? The wisdom? The...charisma? Do you have the dice in your sack? It's like Lord of the Rings meets your mom in a truck stop bathroom, but even cheaper. This set includes: Critical Failures Critical Failures II: Fail Harder Critical Failures III: A Storm of S-Words Critical Failures IV: The Phantom Pinas
©2016 Robert Bevan (P)2019 Robert Bevan
5d6
Summary
This is a collection of the fifth six short stories in the Caverns and Creatures series. It includes the following titles: "They Fight Three Giants" "From the Bowels of Hell Hounds" "Tossing the Salaad" "The Fuccubus" "Fistin' the Furious" "Pixie Dicks"
©2018 Robert Bevan (P)2018 Robert Bevan
D6: Caverns and Creatures
Summary
This is a collection of the first six short stories in the Caverns and Creatures series. It includes the following titles: "Cave of the Kobolds" "Zombie Attack!" "Orcs, Bears, and Assholes" "Shipfaced" "Dungeon Crawl" "The Creep on the Borderlands"
©2013 Robert Bevan (P)2015 Robert Bevan
2d6 (Caverns and Creatures)
Summary
This is a collection of the second six short stories in the Caverns and Creatures series. It includes the following titles: "Nymph-O-Maniacs" "Buzzkill" "Cooper's Christmas Carol" "Sticky White Mess" "Clerical Error" "Cornholed"
©2014 Robert Bevan (P)2016 Robert Bevan
4d6
Summary
This is a collection of the fourth six short stories in the Caverns and Creatures series. It includes the following titles: "Djinngle Bells" "Genital Harpies" "The Unwashed Asses" "B.Oar Guests" "Wight Trash" "Probing the Annis"
©2016 Robert Bevan (P)2017 Robert Bevan
Sex Addiction 101
Summary
The number of affordable, easy links to pleasurable sexual online content is on the rise. Activity increases with the accessibility of technology. So, too, has sex addiction. People struggling with sex, porn, and love addiction typically have little understanding of this incredibly complicated disease. Sex Addiction 101 covers everything from what sexual addiction is and how it can best be treated to how it affects various subgroups of the population such as women, gays, and teenagers. The book also provides sex addicts with strategies to protect themselves from the online sexual onslaught. Sex Addiction 101 is intended to enlighten the clinical population as well as actual sex addicts and their loved ones. Along with his mentor, Patrick Carnes, Weiss has become the face of and driving force behind understanding and treating sex addiction; this book should be a core title in every addiction collection.
©2015 Robert Weiss (P)2018 Audible, Inc.
3d6
Summary
This is a collection of the third six short stories in the Caverns and Creatures series. It includes the following titles: "House of Madness" "Naga Please" "Elf Inflicted" "The Land Before Tim" "A Fistful of Gold Pieces" "The Minotard"
©2015 Robert Bevan (P)2016 Robert Bevan
7d6
Summary
This is a collection of of six short stories in the Caverns and Creatures series. It includes the following stories: "Slimes and Misty Wieners" "Great Balls on Fire" "Your Anus Is a Gas Giant" "Clear and Present Ranger" "The Mimic's Chest" "Styxian Stoners May Break My Boners"
©2019 Robert Bevan (P)2020 Robert Bevan
6d6: A Caverns and Creatures Mini-Adventure Collection
Summary
This is a collection of the sixth six short stories in the Caverns and Creatures series. It includes the following titles: Pain in the Aasimar Cocky LitRPG Taint Team Rusty Mom Bone The Wang is the Hardest Part Cross My Fart and Hope to Die
©2018 Robert Bevan (P)2019 Robert Bevan
Shingles Audio Collection Volume 1
Summary
Tantor Audio presents six must-listen stories from the horror comedy series Shingles. The collection begins with "The Ghost of Hooker Alley," which introduces listeners to 10-year-old Sarah and six-year-old Tommy. After a quick bus ride into town to buy a gun, Sarah and Tommy think their problems are all but solved. That is, until a creepy weirdo follows them into an alley. But they aren't the only ones in that alley.... "The Monkey's Penis" features Chris, a teenage boy who receives a birthday gift unlike any other. In "Gary's Children," a man's quest for stress relief leads to terror, and an unexpected kidnapping takes place in "Aliens Wrecked Our Kegger." "Zombies Ate My Homework" is set in the middle of a zombie outbreak. Todd, his brother, Andy, his best friend, Tarik, and their tomboy friend, Mikayla are forced to take shelter in the first place they can find - an adult novelty store. In the final story, "The Legend of Jimmy Headshot," the zombie apocalypse is upon us. The dead have risen from their graves to feed upon the flesh of the living, and 12-year-old Jimmy couldn't be happier about it. Contains mature themes.
©2018 Robert Bevan (“The Ghost of Hooker Alley”); copyright 2017 by Steve Wetherell (“The Monkey’s Penis”); copyright 2018 by Rick Gualtieri (“Gary’s Children”); copyright 2018 by Drew Hayes (“Aliens Wrecked Our Kegger”); copyright 2018 by John G. Hartness (“Zombies Ate My Homework”); copyright 2018 by Rick Gualtieri (“The Legend of Jimmy Headshot”) (P)2018 Tantor
Shingles Audio Collection, Volume 3
Summary
Wax On, Whacks Off Nobody likes getting bullied, and Donny has had enough. Deciding to take matters into his own hands, he solicits the help of the old Asian man at the end of his street to teach him Karate. During a grueling two days of training, Donny earns belt after belt, until he finally becomes a Karate Master. But there is more to those belts than there seems. Cursed with ancient dark magic, they have a mind of their own. Will Donny be able to stand up to his bullies? Will he be able to overpower the will of the spirit trapped within the cursed belts? Sense and Sensibility and Sasquatch Following the death of their father, sisters Elinor and Marianne Dashwood are sent to toil at a rundown logging camp deep in Kentucky. Faced with the prospect of being married off to Colonel Brandon, the camp's elderly owner, Marianne comes up with the less-than-cunning plan of passing off the murderous man-ape that haunts the nearby forest as her fiance. Both sense and sensibility take a back seat as Willoughby, as the beast is dubbed, tears a swath of destruction through Barton Woods. Can the Dashwood sisters triumph in the face of such carnage to find true love? Contains mature themes.
©2018 Robert Bevan (Wax On, Whacks Off); copyright 2019 by Rick Gualtieri (Sense and Sensibility and Sasquatch) (P)2020 Tantor