Dawn Dais has 5 audiobooks on Listento.it, narrated by 2 narrators, with an average listener rating of 4.4★ across 20 ratings. The most-rated is The Sh!t No One Tells You.
The Sh!t No One Tells You
Summary
There comes a time in every new mother's life when she finds herself staring at her screaming, smelly "bundle of joy" and wishing someone had told her that her house would reek of vomit, or that she shouldn't buy the cute onesies with a thousand impossible buttons, or that she might cry more than the baby. Best-selling humor author Dawn Dais is convinced that there is a reason for this lack of preparedness. She believes that a vast conspiracy exists to hide the horrific truth about parenting from doe-eyed expectant mothers who might otherwise abandon their babies in hospitals and run for it. In The Sh!t No One Tells You, Dais reveals what it's really like to be a new parent and provides helpful insights, humor, and hope for those who feel overwhelmed by the exhausting trials they're suddenly facing. Dais offers real advice from real moms-along with hilarious anecdotes, clever tips, and the genuine encouragement every mom needs in order to survive the first year of parenthood.
©2013 Dawn Dais (P)2014 Tantor
The Sh!t No One Tells You About Pregnancy
Summary
The fourth book in Dawn Dais's popular Sh!t No One Tells You series offers "been there, freaked out about that" advice for expectant parents The fourth title in Dawn Dais's popular parenting series, The Sh!t No One Tells You About Pregnancy is quite possibly the funniest, and most heartfelt, yet. After all, pregnancy is not all about scanning Pinterest for baby shower themes and registering for ironic onesies, and sometimes the less flattering aspects of gestation have a way of dimming a bit of that so-called pregnancy glow. Not to worry! Dawn is here, ready to shepherd you through the experience of one human body taking on the task of growing another human body. (Spoiler alert: It ain't always pretty.) Dawn covers it all, sharing expert lists, tips, warnings, and even a series of Parent-Training Workouts designed to increase readers' tolerance to the various indignities of parenthood, like peeing with an audience and surviving an afternoon in Chuck E. Cheese. The Sh!t No One Tells You About Pregnancy is a must-have guide for expectant moms (and their partners!) who are looking for some counsel, comedy, and camaraderie during their ultimate countdown to parenthood.
©2017 Dawn Dais (P)2017 Hachette Audio
The Sh!t No One Tells You About Toddlers
Summary
Second in the Sh!t No One Tells You series, in The Sh!t No One Tells You About Toddlers Dawn Dais tells it like it is - again - offering real advice for parents of growing children. Filled with tips, encouragement, and a strong dose of humor, The Sh!t No One Tells You About Toddlers is a survival handbook for parents on the edge. Coming from one empathetic parent to another, the tips in this book are real, clever, honest, and designed to make life with a terrible two- or three-year-old a little bit more manageable. Hilarious, helpful, and handy, this book will be appreciated by any parent who has asked, "Why didn't anybody warn me that unconditional love would be so much work?"
©2015 Dawn Dais (P)2015 Tantor
The Nonrunner's Marathon Guide for Women
Summary
Dawn Dais hated running. And it didn't like her much, either. Her fitness routine consisted of avoiding the stairs in her own house, because who really has the energy to climb stairs? It was with this exercise philosophy firmly in place that she set off to complete a marathon. The Nonrunner's Marathon Guide for Women is a fun training manual for women who don't believe that running is their biological destiny but who dream of crossing the finish line nonetheless. Dais' audiobook features a realistic training schedule and is chock-full of how-to's and funny observations, which she felt were lacking in the guides she had consulted. She also integrates entries from her journal, sharing everything would-be marathoners need to know about the gear, the blisters, the early morning workouts, the late-night carb binges, and, most important of all, the amazing rewards. Anyone can do a marathon. This audiobook just makes the experience a little more bearable and a lot more fun. PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying reference material will be available in your Library section along with the audio.
©2017 Dawn Dais (P)2017 Hachette Audio
The Sh!t No One Tells You About Baby #2
Summary
The third book in Dawn Dais' popular Sh!t No One Tells You series covers all a parent needs to know once the reality of having two children settles in. Around the time your first baby turns a year old, your brain will turn on you. For reasons that are still not understood by science, the sleep deprivation and postpartum hormones you barely survived with your first baby fade from memory and will be replaced with idyllic images of your growing child. This is when your brain, having officially lost all regard for your well-being, begins to fantasize about a second baby. And for the first time since becoming a parent, these thoughts don't make you break out in hives. Before you know it, you are dressing your first child in "I'm Going to be a Big Sister!" T-shirts and catalog shopping for bunk beds. This will be fantastic! But then that familiar morning sickness kicks in. And your adorable 18-month-old transforms into a two-year-old terror. That's when those hives start to return. With Dawn Dais' trademark witty banter, The Sh!t No One Tells You About Baby #2 includes chapters such as "You Have Officially Lost Control of the Situation", "Siblings Aren't Nearly as Adorable as You Imagined", "You'll Have a Favorite", and "Having Kids Looks a Lot Easier on TV".
©2017 Dawn Dais (P)2017 Hachette Audio